Sorry...I have to open up

[Mariajoaosilva]

My mother made the exam to her lung and after it,she fainted.After several exams,it was diagnosed that she has a brain aneurisma, in the only place of the brain that can't be removed because it makes connection to the eyes,the balance,and the behaviour.

I got a call saying my mother was in ICU fighting for life because her internal bleeding was very serious.
So the next day she has a 3 and half surgery named embolization.(A process where they glue the area that is bleeding,to try to make it stop).
The surgery went well,but she was in ICU for 15 days cause she couldn't moove without help,she was having memory and behaviour problems,and her heart was beating much to fast at times,and others much too slow.
I will never fotget the image of my mother in ICU...
After those eternal 15 days,my mom is changed to a regular room,where she stays a month making fisioteraphy,and gaining weight.

When she finally came home,she was very sick and fragille.But with a lot of treatmensts and fisioteraphy,she started to be able to do a few things on her own.
Problem is that there are some areas afected that will never recover.One of them is her emotions and behaviour.(only sometimes she is "in herself"),another thing is her balance.Because she has double vision,she dosen't have the notion where things are,so she needs help to walk and do everything.

On her lastest appoitments,last year,and some already this year,after 2 MRI,it was found that her brain aneurisma grew.
This is the same as saying that she has a bom in her head that can explode from one moment to the other,or a bomb that will slowly kill all her organs till it burstes,and she ends up dying.

These past months,my mother has been getting worst almost day-by-day,and because of it,she was making a lot of exams to her heart that sometimes stops beating,other beats much too fast,and also to her kidneys cause she has a kidney infeccion that dosen't go away no matter what she takes for it.
Last but not least,it was diagnosed that if my mother dosen't try to make a eye surgery to see if they can fix one of the muscles she has paralised,she will end up getting blind.

We were all told about the risks this surgery takes.My mom can dye in the surgery.It is a very delicated surgery because they will have to touch in the area where the aneurisma is.
To try to make things easier for my mother,she dosen't knows that she might never wake up from this surgery.If she gets too anxious and her blood pressure gets even more high, it can be fatal to her.

Since 2006 my life chaged completly.I was making plans to start my life,and all of the sudden,my mother needs me in a way that if i wasn't here for her,she would have to be in the hospital,or homeless,and i would never allow that to happen,because i love my mother more than wors can say.
I just wish i could do more than just help her doing things.

My biggest problem now,is that i am exausted phisically and emotionally speaking.
Since 2006 that i have all my life on hold and i am completly alone here doing everything because my brothers are never here.
Now next thursday,my mom will go to the hospital to be prepared for the surgery that will be next friday,24rd,and i am scared to death of what can happen cause even though i am being told to be prepared for everything,i have no idea how can i do that,because the idea of loosing my mother scares me,and it is something that i can't imagine happening so soon.
Can anyone tell me how do i prepare myself?
Sometimes i have no idea how i can still do things,as i feel so weak and without strenghs.
All i want to ask all of you, is how do i deal with something like this?
What more can i do and give to make my mother so she feels better?(i feel so useless)
If someone has an idea,if it is not asking too much,please pray for my mother so everything goes the best way possible.Her name is Elisa.
Thank you so much for everything.

[IrIslovesMJ]

I feel terrible for you :(
First of all, I don't know if you believe in Godbut praying always works for me when I'm helpless ot worried about something.
Second, I know there are support groups that help people in your situation. Try to contact such a group, share your fears and thoughts with these people and I'm sure they'll give you all the mental support in the world.
I hope all your friends and relatives realize they have to be there for you and your mom.
I think that a psychologist will probably help you deal with this difficult situation.


Please update us as soon as possible ans send you mom the very best wishes.
May your next post be a very happy one:angel:

[Telha]

AW honey, Im so sorry for ur mom...

I have no idea of what it might be like, what ur going through, but I would never ever wanna lose my mom or dad...
You should find a therapy group, like IrIslovesMJ said. They will help you find strength within urself to go through this.
Im sure ur mom knows how much u love her, for being the only one by her side helping her the whole time, and I think at this point all she need is love. Make sure u ALWAYS show her how u love her, give her flowers, a card, when she gets anxious about the surgery, put on some relaxing songs and give her a good massage...these love gestures can help a lot. LOVE CAN HEAL. Believe that.

Also, believe in God, He is capable of anything. Miracles do happen, u just got to keep the faith. Put on "Keep the Faith" and sing it to her. Pray. A lot. With and without her. Ask Him to have the best for her to happen, and if its her time to go ask Him to take her peacefully and without pain or suffering. Ask Him to send an angel to greet her. Ask Him to send an angel to guide you.
God will never disappoint you, trust him, He's listening to ur every prayer. No tear is shed without his awareness. No effort is in vain.
Give the best u can give to ur mother, she'll always be thankful and so will God.

I will pray for both of u! :angel:

Deus te abençoe! God bless! :flowers:

[Mariajoaosilva]

I want to thank IrIslovesMJ and Telha,for the support and help.

I am having help of apsychiatrist and myfamily doctor because i am at point that i go to bed tired,and i wake up even more.

Tomorrow,thursday,my mom will go to the hospital to be prepared for surgery that will happen on friday.

I will let you know how everything is doing,but i have no idea at what time,because i will stay next to my mother till i'm sent home.

Once again,thank you so much for your prayers and support.
They mean a lot more than words can say.

[MysteriousPhoenix]

I have prayed and will keep on praying.

[cass]

I've been thinking about you and your Mom, Maria. I pray that everything will go ok on Friday. I'll be checking back for an update. Sorry I haven't been available much but I got alot of stuff going on myself. Take care girl. *hug*

[Raylo]

I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles Maria. I hope you find the strength to work through them and that everything turns out ok. During such horrible times you might find that you're stronger than you think - I hope you find a way to cope (and people to help you) and that you get lots of rest to recover from the fatigue once the crisis is over.

*Hugs*
Raylo

[Roxanne]

i'm so sorry to hear that about ur mother. i wish her all the best and a speedy full recovery.
God bless you :flowers:

[Mariajoaosilva]

Thank you all so much for your prayers.

Today me and my mother spent the all day in the hospital where she is now.She was making exams to make sure that she could have the surggery.
Just returned home and i am completly exausted.
Tomorrow her surgery is around 11am my time,and if all goes well,the surgery will last 1h and half.
The main thing is,she might not wake up from the surgery,and just that thought...

Cass sweetheart,i ahve been thinking a lot about you as well.Today in the hospital you wereso often in my thoughts my dear friend!
I hope you are doing well and you father too.You are always in my prayers,you know?love you so!

Anyways...thank you all so much for your kind words and prayers.They are so needed!

[Datsymay]

I want to thank IrIslovesMJ and Telha,for the support and help.

I am having help of apsychiatrist and myfamily doctor because i am at point that i go to bed tired,and i wake up even more.

Tomorrow,thursday,my mom will go to the hospital to be prepared for surgery that will happen on friday.

I will let you know how everything is doing,but i have no idea at what time,because i will stay next to my mother till i'm sent home.

Once again,thank you so much for your prayers and support.
They mean a lot more than words can say.
Dear God, please give maria the strength to go through this, just like you gave me the strength to go through my mothers illness and just like you comforted me when i needed all the comfort in the world. this is a lonely journey, and only you know how it feels. please give her mother comfort and assurance and strength to ease her suffering. Amen.:angel:

[Janey]

I have just read ur post and Im so sorry to hear about ur mother, you must be so worried tonight as well as exhausted. I will pray for you and your mother and hope with all my heart that the surgery goes well. Try to take care of yourself, do not be afraid to ask for help, you cannot do this all by yourself. If you do not take care of yourself you will become ill and then you will not be able to support your mother.
Take care and God Bless.....Big Hugs
Please let us know how the surgery goes and keep us updated about her recovery.

[Sdeidjs]

My mother made the exam to her lung and after it,she fainted.After several exams,it was diagnosed that she has a brain aneurisma, in the only place of the brain that can't be removed because it makes connection to the eyes,the balance,and the behaviour.

I got a call saying my mother was in ICU fighting for life because her internal bleeding was very serious.
So the next day she has a 3 and half surgery named embolization.(A process where they glue the area that is bleeding,to try to make it stop).
The surgery went well,but she was in ICU for 15 days cause she couldn't moove without help,she was having memory and behaviour problems,and her heart was beating much to fast at times,and others much too slow.
I will never fotget the image of my mother in ICU...
After those eternal 15 days,my mom is changed to a regular room,where she stays a month making fisioteraphy,and gaining weight.

When she finally came home,she was very sick and fragille.But with a lot of treatmensts and fisioteraphy,she started to be able to do a few things on her own.
Problem is that there are some areas afected that will never recover.One of them is her emotions and behaviour.(only sometimes she is "in herself"),another thing is her balance.Because she has double vision,she dosen't have the notion where things are,so she needs help to walk and do everything.

On her lastest appoitments,last year,and some already this year,after 2 MRI,it was found that her brain aneurisma grew.
This is the same as saying that she has a bom in her head that can explode from one moment to the other,or a bomb that will slowly kill all her organs till it burstes,and she ends up dying.

These past months,my mother has been getting worst almost day-by-day,and because of it,she was making a lot of exams to her heart that sometimes stops beating,other beats much too fast,and also to her kidneys cause she has a kidney infeccion that dosen't go away no matter what she takes for it.
Last but not least,it was diagnosed that if my mother dosen't try to make a eye surgery to see if they can fix one of the muscles she has paralised,she will end up getting blind.

We were all told about the risks this surgery takes.My mom can dye in the surgery.It is a very delicated surgery because they will have to touch in the area where the aneurisma is.
To try to make things easier for my mother,she dosen't knows that she might never wake up from this surgery.If she gets too anxious and her blood pressure gets even more high, it can be fatal to her.

Since 2006 my life chaged completly.I was making plans to start my life,and all of the sudden,my mother needs me in a way that if i wasn't here for her,she would have to be in the hospital,or homeless,and i would never allow that to happen,because i love my mother more than wors can say.
I just wish i could do more than just help her doing things.

My biggest problem now,is that i am exausted phisically and emotionally speaking.
Since 2006 that i have all my life on hold and i am completly alone here doing everything because my brothers are never here.
Now next thursday,my mom will go to the hospital to be prepared for the surgery that will be next friday,24rd,and i am scared to death of what can happen cause even though i am being told to be prepared for everything,i have no idea how can i do that,because the idea of loosing my mother scares me,and it is something that i can't imagine happening so soon.
Can anyone tell me how do i prepare myself?
Sometimes i have no idea how i can still do things,as i feel so weak and without strenghs.
All i want to ask all of you, is how do i deal with something like this?
What more can i do and give to make my mother so she feels better?(i feel so useless)
If someone has an idea,if it is not asking too much,please pray for my mother so everything goes the best way possible.Her name is Elisa.
Thank you so much for everything.

Dear Mar,
I feel your pain, exhaustion, and worry. Both of my parents (age 72) were eventually put into a nursing home when it became a safety issue, and my sister Deb and I were unable to take care of their medical needs any longer. To make a very long story short, I, we lost our dad (Pops) on August 13, 2008 due to a sepsus infection. I was very close to my dad and was absolutely devastated when he passed.

I, we always knew one day that day would come; of course the age factor, but we were more concerned with his (health issues)...

No one can prepare you for what may or may not happen. The best advice I,we can give you is to "ALWAYS" Keep The Faith~~~and God will guide you through.

Our thoughts and prayers will be with your Mom and You...

God Bless~~~

[Mariajoaosilva]

As some of you in here said ,i am exausted but somehow i can't sleep.I'm so scared...ithink i never felt this scared in my life.

I lost count of how many rosaries i prayed and for some reason that i can't understand,i can't stop feeling sad and very scared.

Again i want to thank all of you for your love and support that it has been my strengh lots of times.

Sdeidjs...i am so sorry for your lost.I can't imagine how it must feel and to be honest,i don't want to.

My mother and i are very close since i was a baby,as she was my mother and my father at the same time because my father never wanted to have me.(he only wanted boys).

God Bless all of you and the ones you love as well.I'm very toutched and in a way speachless,to see and feel so much love and support.

[Sdeidjs]

As some of you in here said ,i am exausted but somehow i can't sleep.I'm so scared...ithink i never felt this scared in my life.

I lost count of how many rosaries i prayed and for some reason that i can't understand,i can't stop feeling sad and very scared.

Again i want to thank all of you for your love and support that it has been my strengh lots of times.

Sdeidjs...i am so sorry for your lost.I can't imagine how it must feel and to be honest,i don't want to.

My mother and i are very close since i was a baby,as she was my mother and my father at the same time because my father never wanted to have me.(he only wanted boys).

God Bless all of you and the ones you love as well.I'm very toutched and in a way speachless,to see and feel so much love and support.

Your very welcome...Our thoughts and prayers are with You & Yours....

God Bless~~~

[elusive moonwalker]

very sorry my thoughts are with you

[big DB]

stay strong, i cant possibly imagine what you are going through Maria, however I know you have been stronger than you have thought. As you said you have put your life on hold to care for another life and not just any other life, the person who cared for you, loved you and raised you to be the woman you are. A sweet, loving, caring person. You have all my love and prays my love xxx

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Wbr5r9m-noY just the last 17 secs ;)

[IrIslovesMJ]

You are very welcome.
I hope to hear good news very soon.

God bless.

[LindaC781]

Oh my god. I feel so bad for you.....what a story you told. I wish only the best for you and your mother. I hope to God that she gets better. If you need any emotional support, just come on here....we're here for you. Take care...

[Mariajoaosilva]

I want to thank ,IrIslovesMJ,Sdeidjs and elusive moonwalker,for the prayers.I have the feeling that if it wasn't all the prayers i am having and my mother as well,that i wouldn't make this far.

big DB...you are always so kind and sweet.Thank you so so much for your love and support.It means a lot more than words can ever say.I hope you will never have to imagine or go throught what i am going now my dear friend.I don't wishthese mix of feelings i have,the stress to my worst enenmy.HUGS

LindaC781 Emotional support is one of things i need a lot.But i am having it more than i thought i would.In fact,i think that it wasn't my friends,(more than my family unffortunately),i don't know with whom i would talk to,or how to find strenghs to mooveon everyday.But linda,thank you so so much for your words and prayers.I don't know if you can imagine how it is to be in a situation like mine,but from what you said,i have the feeling that you do understand somehow.
Thank you so so much for your care

[Mariajoaosilva]

Ok...i just returned home from the hospital.
The surgery went well,but only on monday doctors can tell how the brain is responding to the surgery she had.
These first 24hours are some how the most important, cause of the after surgery complications that she can have,not only because of the anestisia she had,but also because of all the problems she has,and if her blood pressure gets out of control again,it can be fatal.

Again i want to thank you all for all the prayers,love and support.
Thanks to all of you,i have a bit of hope that my mother will make it.But these 24hours are very scary to me.
I'll keep you all update onj what is going on,when i have more news.
God bless all of you and thank you so so much from the botton of my heart.

[Raylo]

It's good to hear that it went well - I'll be holding thumbs for Monday :-)

[dona77]

It's good that the operation went well. My prayers are with you and your mother and if you need to talk with someone feel free to PM me and I will be there for you. God Bless you

[IrIslovesMJ]

I'm happy to hear it went well :)
Please update us when you get the latest from the doctors.

[LindaC781]

I will pray very hard for you!! Hope that operation did what it was supposed to do....it is too early for your mother. God doesn't want her right now.. She needs you and you need her....and she will be a grandmother one of these days...to YOUR CHILDREN. Believe me.

[friend]

(hugs) to you and your mom. i am reading this a bit late, but will pray for you all. i hope all your family comes and helps you some, will pray for that as well. God bless all of you.

[Mariajoaosilva]

Raylo,dona77,IrIslovesMJ,friend...Thank you so so much for your prayers and support.
This night she was doing well.
Doctors said that it was maybe because she was still under the effect of the anestisia.
Today,untill i left her,she was starting to be more aware and couldn't open her eyes as she would feel pain.I was told it is normal as the surgery was only yesterday.
I can't wait for monday as well.It's on monday that doctors will havethe possibility to say if the brain accepted the changes made in her eye or not.
Again i want to thank all of you for your love and support.You have been amazing,and i had no idea i could have so much support in here as i don't post much,as i am not as much as online as i wish because my schedule is ruled bu mother's needs.

LindaC781...you have no idea how much i wanted that to be true.I'm affraid that will not happen.Not now,not ever i think.
My bf is from USA and i am in Portugal.Plus with my age,(35),i think it is dangerous to have a baby,specially if it is the first one.I would love a lot to be a mother.I love children,and my dream was always to marry and have a family.But right now i gave up beliveing that it will ever happen as anytime i tried to make a dream come true,something always happened,that made me change my plans.
Now i don't make plans anymore,and i try to live a day at a time.
I prefer not to dream because like this,i don't suffer if i can't have time for myself.
Thank you anyways for your sweet words.

God Bless all of you

[wendijane]

my sincere prayers too.

[mjfans4life]

May God hold you in his loving arms at this your moment of great trial.

[Mariajoaosilva]

Tomorrow it will be a big day for my mother (and for me as well).
we are going to find out if the surgery was worth it or not.
Basically what doctors will do is some tests to see how her vision reacts and also how her brain is acepting (or not),the changes that were done.

This night was a painfull night for her.She feels pain when she tries to open the eyes,and it is also very red as well.
plus she is very anxious and i was told that all night she was talking,so the other ladies in the same room had some trouble to find peace.

I feel like i am returning to the begining of all this.Like if it was a circle,and no matter how i try to find a way,it has no way out.

I'm again very scared and nervous.Her eye looks so bad...Maybe it is a good sign,but i don't know ,and then she is always in pain...i just wish there was something i could do to help her,and take her pain away!I feel so useless...so helpless...

Anyways i just want to thank all of you for your prayers and support.
God Bless you all
HUGS

[Janey]

Dear Maria, Im glad that the operation is over and pray that everything continues to go well, you still have a long road to follow but I pray that all will be well at the end and that your mum will feel better.
Please take care of yourself because this is very hard for you and you must try to stay well in order to help your mother.
My prayers are with you and your mother, take care and stay strong. xx

[summer]

Hi Maria, and HUUUUGGGSSS first of all from your "Godmother". :) I'm so sorry to hear you are not doing that well and that you mother is so ill also. I can understand that you're scared, it IS scary to see someone you love that ill. I'm not sure if anyone can really prepare themselves for these kinds of situations in life, they will always be difficult and trying because who wants to see someone who is important to them suffer or even worse, die? The only advice I can give to you is to spend as much time with your mom as you can. Even if you just hold her hand, I am sure she will feel it and sense it. And tell her you love her. And also take care of yourself. When my dad was sick with cancer, I was always worrying about everything and my dad gave me the best advice anyone could give you in that situation: "Take each day as it comes. Don't worry about tomorrow!". Because none of us knows what tomorow brings...it could be bad news, but it good be good news, or no news...so one shouldn't waste TODAY by worrying about what might be tomorrow. Take care of yourself and go for a walk or look at the clouds or the flowers or go to the church...do something nice and peaceful and relaxing for yourself. And remember that we all have our time. Some go sooner, some go later. Be grateful for the time you have with your mother and cherish every moment. And look forward!! You're still YOUNG!! You have your whole life ahead of you still!! 35 is NOT too old for having babies!! There are women who have their first child when they are over 40!! So if you wanna be a mommy, it's NOT too late! Anyways....I hope that helps!! I wish you and your mother all the best and I'll keep you in my prayers! Take care of yourself and God bless!! *huuugggssssss*

[Cinnamon234]

I wish you, your mother and your whole family all the very best! I really hope your Mom continues to get better and i'll keep your family in my prayers. Keep us updated! God bless.

[Mariajoaosilva]

Janey,thank you so so much for your prayers and support.

summer...oh my dear one if you could imagine what it meant to me to hear from you.

I am trying to be strong and take care of me.But all i can think about is my mother.My mother is the person i love the most in this world and i would do anything to heal her.
Your father gave you the most wise advice someone can give.I was told that as well.By my family doctor that is a complete saint ,as she is always here for me no matter what time it is.
About being a mother...I know that there are people having babies in the 40's.But besides thinking that it is much more danger,for the mother and the baby,right now those are not the kind of things i think at all.
My one and only priority in life is my mother.I keep telling her and showing her how much i love her,but even so,i feel very useless and helpless,specially when i see her in pain.I would die for her,you know?
Anyways my dear "godmother",thank you so much for your support.love you so!

Cinnamon234...Thank you so much for your prayers and wishes.I just wish God would listen to me ,and all of you as well,as the news i have,are not the best ones for sure.

God Bless all of you and thank you so much for your support,love and prayers.

[Mariajoaosilva]

Ok...The updates about my mother are far from being good.

Today my mother made lots of exams and tests to seehow her brain and her eyes would respond to it.

Unffortunately,cause the problem that my mom has,is caused by her aneurism,the brain and eyes didn't react asthey should.

The eye that was operated,now can't make any movement up or down.Only to the sides but not that much.The doctor explained that her central system in the brain is so damadged that didn't understand the changes that were done.Because of it,she now needs ANOTHER SURGERY to the eye that used to see well.If she dosen't do this surgery,she will end up blind very soon.

She is now at home,but in bed in the dark because she has lots of pain in the eye,and is feeling pain in all her body.Each 3 hours i will have to put her a medicin in the eye to see if the eye starts to open a bit more,and the red goes away.
(i don't want to imagine having to wake my mom each 3 hours...if i only knew a way to help her for real...).
Also,and because this is considered a very dangerous situation,my mother will go to another eye appoitment,on december 22nd (what a great christmas,uh?),to make new tests and exams to her view,and on the 29th of january,she will go to the hospital to be prepared for surgery on the 30th.

My mother keeps saying that her day is near,and although i try to stay strong,and joke with her,deep inside,something tells me that she is right,and i have no idea how to deal with this.

I'm lossing strenghs...i'm so tired...but i need to be here for my mother.If only i could heal her...
Anyways,those are the last news i have.
I just hope and pray that the next post,won't be to say that My mother is no longger with me.

[summer]

Ok...The updates about my mother are far from being good.

Today my mother made lots of exams and tests to seehow her brain and her eyes would respond to it.

Unffortunately,cause the problem that my mom has,is caused by her aneurism,the brain and eyes didn't react asthey should.

The eye that was operated,now can't make any movement up or down.Only to the sides but not that much.The doctor explained that her central system in the brain is so damadged that didn't understand the changes that were done.Because of it,she now needs ANOTHER SURGERY to the eye that used to see well.If she dosen't do this surgery,she will end up blind very soon.

She is now at home,but in bed in the dark because she has lots of pain in the eye,and is feeling pain in all her body.Each 3 hours i will have to put her a medicin in the eye to see if the eye starts to open a bit more,and the red goes away.
(i don't want to imagine having to wake my mom each 3 hours...if i only knew a way to help her for real...).
Also,and because this is considered a very dangerous situation,my mother will go to another eye appoitment,on december 22nd (what a great christmas,uh?),to make new tests and exams to her view,and on the 29th of january,she will go to the hospital to be prepared for surgery on the 30th.

My mother keeps saying that her day is near,and although i try to stay strong,and joke with her,deep inside,something tells me that she is right,and i have no idea how to deal with this.

I'm lossing strenghs...i'm so tired...but i need to be here for my mother.If only i could heal her...
Anyways,those are the last news i have.
I just hope and pray that the next post,won't be to say that My mother is no longger with me.

Yes, most of teh time you can sense those things. Somehow I "knew" that my dad is going to die as soon as I graduate. I didn't want to think about it and I hated the feeling, but somehow I knew. The only advice that I can give to you is to tell your mom that you love her dearly and that she is very important to you and that you appreciate every single moment you have been able to spend with her and that you will never forget her. But tell her that it's okay to go. That as much as you'd want to hav her around you forever and ever....you let her go when she thinks it's time. So many people suffer and try to fight because the relatives, etc. won't let them go...but if you tell her that it is okay to go when she thinks is time, it will give her peace. Believe me, it is NOT easy to do. When I was at the hospital on the night my daddied and my mom told me to tell dad that it's okay for him to go, to give him the permission to go if he needs to...believe me, it was NOT easy. I mean, I DIDN'T want him to go....I wanted to have my dad!!! But on the other hand I knew that I can't have him suffer just because I won't let go and I knew it would be selfish of me to not let him go even though it was time. It was the most DIFFICULT thing I ever had to do in my life....It took a LOT of effort to say it. In the end I just barely whispered out the words to dad and told him it's okay for him to go and right after that I said I am going to miss him so much and started crying my eyes out...and my dad died about a minute after I had told him he can go and that I am going to miss him so MUCH. It was so terrible and I still miss my dad SO MUCH and wish I could have him back...but on the other hand I am grateful I was able to be there and hold his hand when he died. And I do understand now that everyone has their time to go and we need to cherish the time we have with those who are dear to us. There's a saying that "as long as the memories are alive, a person never really dies" and it's true. I think about my dad all the time and I know someday I'll see him again.

[LindaC781]

Maria....know that ALL of us are here for you. ALL OF US. We are a COMMUNITY. We stick together through thick and thin. I hope and pray for you and your Mom Maria....I wish I were there to help you out...

[Mariajoaosilva]

summer...HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.I had no idea you havebeen in a situation like this.
If i had known this 2 and half years ago,i would tell you that i have no idea how you felt and that i wish i would never had to be in your shoes.
But right now,i have to tell you that i do know how you felt because i am going through the same thing.
And yes it is very hard to say to a mother that she is free to go but i told her today in a inderect way.
We were talking,she was saying that all her body hurts,that she is tired,and i told her that if she want she could stop fighting.I also said that if there was a way to help her somehow,i do anything,cause i love her more than words can say.
I have no idea if she pretended or not,but she didn't tell me anything.what her silence means?...i have no idea.


LindaC781....I know We are a COMMUNITY,you have no idea how proud i m to belong to this forum,and the past mjjf as well.But what i didn't know was that i would have thismany people supporting me,because most of you have no idea how i am as we never spoke.
And you are helping me much more than you think.Just by Praying for me and specially my mother.
If someone does something to mother,does to me as well.So in her name (Elisa),and in mine,i thank you with all my heart.HUGS

[Mariajoaosilva]

My fears got confirmed when i thought i would have bad news to give you all.

First of all,she badly slept and me as well,as she needs to take a medicin each 3 hours.
But i found a bit of time to take a nap in between taking care of her.

The worst was that since yesterday night,she is with a hudge diarrea that dosen't stop.She was going to the restroom each 10 minutes and i got so scared,that in the midle of the night i called my family doctor come here and see her.
She gave my mom a medicin named "Tiorfan",and i gave it with a tea,but 20 minutes later she was taking all out.
So the first thing i did in the morning was calling my doctor to ask her what shoud i do and she returned here with 2 diferent medicins "Immodium" and "Motilum".I was told that my mother shouldn't eat anything but that she should drink lots of water and tea.worst of everything,she wasalso not able to keep in her stomac the tea.
Again i called my doctor and told her what was happening and i was told that what my mom has is maybe abacteria thatshe got in the hospital and if it is that,it will take a week to go way,but thatif she gets to weak,she has to return to the hospital.
My mother is in bed,and the only time she gets up,it's to go to the restroom.
If tomorrow she is the same way,i will call my doctor again,and ask her to go with me and my mom to the hospital.
All my says right now is thatshe had enough,she is tired and all body hurts.I just wish i could do something no matter what.
It kills me to see my mother like that and not being able to do a thing.

[Dancing the Dream]

Really sorry to hear this :(

[Mariajoaosilva]

This night was a complete nightmare.
My mother was running to the restroom each 20 minutes,and each 3 hours,i had to go to her to put the medicin in her eye.
because she was like this during the night,in the morning i went to my family doctor to update her on my mom.She changed the medicins to something strongger.
One is an antibiotic "Bactrim forte",and the other one is to help healing any possible bacterial infection named "UL (ultra levure )250".
She drank black tea,and "ate"rice soup,and 30 minutes later she was going to the restroom again.
She drank coke,it came out as well.
since we had dinner at 8pm,my mother went to the restroom five times!and it is only 10.50pm
The worst of everything is that if she dosen't get better till the end of the week,she might have to return to the hospital again.
Anyways ...thank you all for you support and prayers.It means more than i can describe

[friend]

maria (hugs) you. i will keep your family in my prayers. i hope you can get some rest also.

[Mariajoaosilva]

Friend...thank you so much.your prayers mean a lot to me.Hugs back.


This night the antibiotic started to act as it should.Thought it was a though night because she still is in a lot of pain due to the surgery that will make tomorrow,friday,8 days that was done.
The morning was not so bad,but all she ate was rice soup.
In the evening what she had for dinner was still the rice soup and spoom of white rice with a carrot.
So far she seems better,but it's still too early to know because she is very weak and not eating as she should.

Thank you so much for your prayers and support,that seem to be helping somehow.
God Bless you all!

[mariemarie]

Hugs to you and your family.

You're in my thoughts and prayers

*hugs*

[Mariajoaosilva]

Hugs to you and your family.

You're in my thoughts and prayers

*hugs*


Thank you very very much

[big DB]

Maria, you and your mother are in my prayers, my friend i cant possibly imagine what you are and your family are going through :(
xxx

[friend]

oh that's good news that the antibiotics are beginning to work and she's starting to eat even if it is slight, its something :) yay. keeps holding you up with prayer. i hope your starting to feel better some too. take care (hugs)

[144,000]

My mother made the exam to her lung and after it,she fainted.After several exams,it was diagnosed that she has a brain aneurisma, in the only place of the brain that can't be removed because it makes connection to the eyes,the balance,and the behaviour.

I got a call saying my mother was in ICU fighting for life because her internal bleeding was very serious.
So the next day she has a 3 and half surgery named embolization.(A process where they glue the area that is bleeding,to try to make it stop).
The surgery went well,but she was in ICU for 15 days cause she couldn't moove without help,she was having memory and behaviour problems,and her heart was beating much to fast at times,and others much too slow.
I will never fotget the image of my mother in ICU...
After those eternal 15 days,my mom is changed to a regular room,where she stays a month making fisioteraphy,and gaining weight.

When she finally came home,she was very sick and fragille.But with a lot of treatmensts and fisioteraphy,she started to be able to do a few things on her own.
Problem is that there are some areas afected that will never recover.One of them is her emotions and behaviour.(only sometimes she is "in herself"),another thing is her balance.Because she has double vision,she dosen't have the notion where things are,so she needs help to walk and do everything.

On her lastest appoitments,last year,and some already this year,after 2 MRI,it was found that her brain aneurisma grew.
This is the same as saying that she has a bom in her head that can explode from one moment to the other,or a bomb that will slowly kill all her organs till it burstes,and she ends up dying.

These past months,my mother has been getting worst almost day-by-day,and because of it,she was making a lot of exams to her heart that sometimes stops beating,other beats much too fast,and also to her kidneys cause she has a kidney infeccion that dosen't go away no matter what she takes for it.
Last but not least,it was diagnosed that if my mother dosen't try to make a eye surgery to see if they can fix one of the muscles she has paralised,she will end up getting blind.

We were all told about the risks this surgery takes.My mom can dye in the surgery.It is a very delicated surgery because they will have to touch in the area where the aneurisma is.
To try to make things easier for my mother,she dosen't knows that she might never wake up from this surgery.If she gets too anxious and her blood pressure gets even more high, it can be fatal to her.

Since 2006 my life chaged completly.I was making plans to start my life,and all of the sudden,my mother needs me in a way that if i wasn't here for her,she would have to be in the hospital,or homeless,and i would never allow that to happen,because i love my mother more than wors can say.
I just wish i could do more than just help her doing things.

My biggest problem now,is that i am exausted phisically and emotionally speaking.
Since 2006 that i have all my life on hold and i am completly alone here doing everything because my brothers are never here.
Now next thursday,my mom will go to the hospital to be prepared for the surgery that will be next friday,24rd,and i am scared to death of what can happen cause even though i am being told to be prepared for everything,i have no idea how can i do that,because the idea of loosing my mother scares me,and it is something that i can't imagine happening so soon.
Can anyone tell me how do i prepare myself?
Sometimes i have no idea how i can still do things,as i feel so weak and without strenghs.
All i want to ask all of you, is how do i deal with something like this?
What more can i do and give to make my mother so she feels better?(i feel so useless)
If someone has an idea,if it is not asking too much,please pray for my mother so everything goes the best way possible.Her name is Elisa.
Thank you so much for everything.

i am praying for her right now.

[IrIslovesMJ]

Maria, I feel so terrible... I wish I could be there with you and your mom for mental support...
Keep on praying.
Did you contact a support group?

I'll keep praying...

[Mariajoaosilva]

big DB...Dom Dear,i hope you and noone in this forum will ever go throught this endless nightmare i am going through.Thank you so so much for constant love,support and prayers.Love you

friend...it's very true that in a way i feel more released that my mother is starting to eat.But i fear it is too soon that the dangerous is gone.Again, i want to thank all your prayers and support.HUGS

vncwilliam...thank you.Itmeans a lot more than words can describe.God Bless you.

IrIslovesMJ...please don't feel terrible for me.It's not what i want in anyway.You are very sweet in wanting to help me somehow,given the fact that we never spoke or know eachother and that is touching me very deep.
You left me without words really.I would say thank you for everything...but i think that dosen't says a thing,compared to what i am feeling.God Bless you!
I wish we had support groups like a normal country has.The only one i ever heard about,is in the south of my country,and it is very expensive.Also this organization,chooses the patients,so my only luck is my family doctor and also my psychiatrist that is seeing me each 2 months,or when he thinks it is needed.
A part from medical support,i have a boyfriend that is a true bless in life!and somereal true friends that besides being only a few,they are genuine.
Last but not least,i have my forum,this forum and all of you.
Most of you answering my thread never spoke to me before and are giving me an incridle help.
Thank you all so much for all your support,love and prayers.
It means much more than words can say.
God Bless you all.HUGS

[ladyplatinum]

You are stronger than you know. Whatever you have to face alone, I'm sure you will be able to endure it because you have inner strength to get by. We all have to come to a point in our lives that things become unbearable and the loss of someone close can be the hardest thing to live through...but you do live through it.

You have to keep yourself healthy and strong by doing what you can. That's all you can do. Your mother is at risk and your prayers for her can help you and her to deal with the pressure more easily.

I lost my mother at an early age, right after high school graduation. It was an ordeal that I had to survive and I did it with the upbringing and knowledge and strength that she had raised me to be able to do. I wasn't afraid even though I had lost the only person who truly loved and cared for me. She was a strong woman and she taught me how to stand alone even when I didn't know that is what she was teaching me.

So the only thing I can say to help you deal with your mother's surgeries and illnesses is to just be there for her and get through it no matter what. You are already doing that so just keep going and never lose hope that you will get by. And when the worse presents itself, you have to see the positive in it...that things happen for a reason and the suffering has ended...her suffering.

You can get through this. I know you can. You've proved it already by caring and loving your mother and trying to make things the best for her. Don't make yourself crazy and lose your own health. She needs you to be stronger than you've ever been and you need to be strong for yourself. That will be the best thing you can do for her and yourself.

May God bless you both.

[Mariajoaosilva]

You are stronger than you know. Whatever you have to face alone, I'm sure you will be able to endure it because you have inner strength to get by. We all have to come to a point in our lives that things become unbearable and the loss of someone close can be the hardest thing to live through...but you do live through it.

You have to keep yourself healthy and strong by doing what you can. That's all you can do. Your mother is at risk and your prayers for her can help you and her to deal with the pressure more easily.

I lost my mother at an early age, right after high school graduation. It was an ordeal that I had to survive and I did it with the upbringing and knowledge and strength that she had raised me to be able to do. I wasn't afraid even though I had lost the only person who truly loved and cared for me. She was a strong woman and she taught me how to stand alone even when I didn't know that is what she was teaching me.

So the only thing I can say to help you deal with your mother's surgeries and illnesses is to just be there for her and get through it no matter what. You are already doing that so just keep going and never lose hope that you will get by. And when the worse presents itself, you have to see the positive in it...that things happen for a reason and the suffering has ended...her suffering.

You can get through this. I know you can. You've proved it already by caring and loving your mother and trying to make things the best for her. Don't make yourself crazy and lose your own health. She needs you to be stronger than you've ever been and you need to be strong for yourself. That will be the best thing you can do for her and yourself.

May God bless you both.

ladyplatinum...I have no words to say what and how i felt when i read your post.
Yes i my mother needs me nowmore than ever,it's because of her that i am doing all i can to stay healthy and strong.You say i am strong...i don't know if i am...i go to bed tired,and i wake up even more tired.I'm on multivitamines and lots of suplements to help me,but to be very honest,i have no idea if they are doing something because i wasn't supposed to feel that tired i think.
MY mother is the person i love the most in this world,and for her i would die if needed.So of course i am all the time with her giving her all my love,praying,and making sure that she feels a bit better.
My mother is to me my baby right now.Each 3 hours she needs me to help with medicins,and i am the one doing all she needs.
Thank you so much for your prayers and support.They are so much appreciated.
Take care too and God Bless

[sweet princess]

Dear Sweet Maria:

I'm so sorry to hear about your pain, You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I love you. please keep us updated. :flowers:

[ladyplatinum]

ladyplatinum...I have no words to say what and how i felt when i read your post.
Yes i my mother needs me nowmore than ever,it's because of her that i am doing all i can to stay healthy and strong.You say i am strong...i don't know if i am...i go to bed tired,and i wake up even more tired.I'm on multivitamines and lots of suplements to help me,but to be very honest,i have no idea if they are doing something because i wasn't supposed to feel that tired i think.
MY mother is the person i love the most in this world,and for her i would die if needed.So of course i am all the time with her giving her all my love,praying,and making sure that she feels a bit better.
My mother is to me my baby right now.Each 3 hours she needs me to help with medicins,and i am the one doing all she needs.
Thank you so much for your prayers and support.They are so much appreciated.
Take care too and God Bless

I understand that you may be tired from the stress, but the strength is there nevertheless. Sometimes when you are tired you can still find a way to get things done that have to be done. That's the strength that God gives you to get up and make things happen.

Those multivitamins could be making you feel bad because you aren't eating properly along with taking them. You have to eat a full stomach of food to get the best results from the pills. Whenever you don't eat right and you try to supplement with vitamins it only tears you down. I think if you would get a good hot meal of rice and steak or turkey with some green vegetables and some green tea or tomato juice and plenty of water you will be feeling great. Also you should take an iron supplement with your meals and stay off the vitamins. The iron will do you much better. The best vitamins to take are B vitamins. You can take one B-150 tablet a day and you will get through the day so much better and feel energized. Just make sure you eat something before taking it.

Eat fruit when you are not ready for a big meal, like apples or grapes or pineapple or plums and you will replenish yourself and feel rejuvenated when you feel like you are running low on energy. I'm not a doctor but I've been told that I act like one.:D

Take it easy. You'll be all right.

[144,000]

big DB...Dom Dear,i hope you and noone in this forum will ever go throught this endless nightmare i am going through.Thank you so so much for constant love,support and prayers.Love you

friend...it's very true that in a way i feel more released that my mother is starting to eat.But i fear it is too soon that the dangerous is gone.Again, i want to thank all your prayers and support.HUGS

vncwilliam...thank you.Itmeans a lot more than words can describe.God Bless you.

IrIslovesMJ...please don't feel terrible for me.It's not what i want in anyway.You are very sweet in wanting to help me somehow,given the fact that we never spoke or know eachother and that is touching me very deep.
You left me without words really.I would say thank you for everything...but i think that dosen't says a thing,compared to what i am feeling.God Bless you!
I wish we had support groups like a normal country has.The only one i ever heard about,is in the south of my country,and it is very expensive.Also this organization,chooses the patients,so my only luck is my family doctor and also my psychiatrist that is seeing me each 2 months,or when he thinks it is needed.
A part from medical support,i have a boyfriend that is a true bless in life!and somereal true friends that besides being only a few,they are genuine.
Last but not least,i have my forum,this forum and all of you.
Most of you answering my thread never spoke to me before and are giving me an incridle help.
Thank you all so much for all your support,love and prayers.
It means much more than words can say.
God Bless you all.HUGS




God Bless You~~

[Mariajoaosilva]

sweet princess...You are the one very sweet.Thank you so much for your prayers.They are very much appreciated.

ladyplatinum..."...Also you should take an iron supplement with your meals and stay off the vitamins. The iron will do you much better. The best vitamins to take are B vitamins. You can take one B-150 tablet a day ..."...You sure do act like a doctor.But all your advices are very wery much appreaciated as i want to be in my best health possible so i can take care proprely of my mother.I have no idea if we have tablets you mention,or even the iron supplements,but i will talk to my family doctor next week,and i will ask her for sure about it.Thank you so much for thei nformation you gave me.


TO UPDATE YOU ALL ON MY MOTHER'S CONDITION;

My mother got worst today.She was not able to sleep all night with stomac and eye pains,and after lunch she was feeling like she was not diggesting the food as by dinner time,she was feeling very sick of her stomac.I made a very light food,but she is not well.She already took 2 pills that she needs to take when the pains are almost unberable and she is still not feeling well.
In a hour it's time for her eye medicin,and also stomac so i will make a tea to see if it helps.I really do hope she can rest.

I only wonder when will she have a break.She is going throughh so much at the same time.She dosen't deserve what is happening to her at all.
Anyways...I just want that God dosen't wait much more to release my mother from all this pain by either healing her,or taking her next to HIm.I can't bear see my mother in pain and not being abe to do a thing.It's frustrating,it hurts a lot,and i have no idea for how much longer i can handle this situation.My mother is for sure the last person of my family that deserves such a burden.

Thank you all for everything.I really do feel that if it wasn't all of you here supporting and praying,that i wouldhave lost my mind a long time ago.

God Bless all of you and the ones you love!

[cass]

Thanks for the update Maria. I hope your Mom starts to improve soon. *hug*

[MJsPanda]

I'm glad to hear your mom is doing better, you're in my prayers :flowers:

[Janey]

Dear Maria, I was sorry to read your last update and to hear that your mother is suffering such pain, but even though she is hurting she knows you are there for her, loving her, cherishing her and supporting her. Ladyplatenum is giving good advice, you need to make sure you keep well and get some rest yourself. I hope your mother soon makes some improvement, take care and God Bless xx

[Mariajoaosilva]

cass...my dear friend...i have no words to describe what your support means to me.
You are going through something so painfull as well.But just like your dad is near the end,my mother is too.
The only diference is that she can go from one minute to another,or she can have more time,and in the meanwhile,all her body organs start shutting down.Noone can tell how long my mother still has,but she says very often that her day is near,and sometimes i fear she is right.

But please ...now foccus only on you and your family,and never forget that i'm here for you.TIGHT HUGS


MJsPanda....my mother has lots of ups and downs.Thank you for your wishes

Janey...you are very right.I make sure that everyday,every moment i can have her more aware of things,i tell her how i love her and always will.
Me and my mother are very close since always,and that will never change,as she is the person i love the most in this world,and she knows it.
The advice ladyplatenum gave me will be followed as as soon as i talk to my family doctor next week.
You wish her to improve soon.well...unfortunatelly it was not today that it happened.

Thank you all for everything.

[LindaC781]

Maria - here is a video for you. This is how I feel. You are "on His shoulders"....always...

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[sweet princess]

Sweet Maria:

Thank you for the update, I hope your mom improves soon, try to get some rest. you sound like your really tired. Remember we all love you. :yes: :flowers:

[Mariajoaosilva]

Today it makes 15 days that my mother had the surgery to the eye.

According to the doctors,she should be able to see better,but...Not only she dosen't see better,she still has her eye red and feels pain.
I have no idea what this means,but something tells me it's not good.
If the eye dosen't recover completly till next monday,i will call the doctor to see what i can do,and if he can see my mother.
Sometimes i look at her,and seems...blind.
One of the things my mother dosen't want,is to slowly die,to have pain,but i fear that God dosen't have the same wish as my mother.She dosen't deserve what she is going through at all.

[144,000]

i haven't forgotten. i am still praying..i check back here every so often **hugs**

[Mariajoaosilva]

i haven't forgotten. i am still praying..i check back here every so often **hugs**


Thank you so much.hugs

[Mariajoaosilva]

Today my mother left out of the house for the first time since she returned from the hospital.

I wish i could say it was great to go out with her,but maybe it was too soon,or whatever the reason can be,when we arrived home,(and we only went for a coffee in my street),she seemed as if she had run all my town,and her eye that was almost well,became red again.

I put her the medicin and left her resting while making dinner and now she is complaining of headacke,and i gave her the medicin for it.

If tomorrow she is like this,i will go to my family doctor,because i don't want to be here alone with my mother not knowing what to do or think.

Anyways...i just wish this nightmare would end somehow.My mother was very aware today,and the way she talked,as well as what she said,scared me a lot.I keep telling to myself i am ready to let her go,that it is ok if she wants to rest,but when she gets very ill,i feel so useless,so helpless and scared...

[Janey]

It has been a few days since your last update and I hope there has been some improvement for your mother. You have been so brave and very strong for your mother for such a long time now, it is very hard to see a loved one suffering. You must not feel useless and helpless because you are doing everything you can and your mother, I know, apprieciates everything you do to help her. Your love will help her through her pain.
I continue to pray for you both and I shall keep checking for your update.
Lots of love, janey xx

[Mariajoaosilva]

Thank you Janey for your caring and support.

The reason why i haven't updated the thread is because there was nothing i could add,as i was waiting for my mother's appoitments to find out what was going on.

Well...today we discovered that my mother still has the infection that was causing her trouble and pain when going to the restroom,and also causing her troubles to digest the food.

She is going to make lots of exams and tests to the blood and irune to see if this time,with other medicins,she gets better.
On the 21st of this month,she will make an MRI to measure her aneurism and an angiogram as well.
On the 25th,she will go to the radiologist and the neurologist to know the results of the exams and hopefuly have some treatment to help her feeling better.
on the 27th we will go to the family doctor to show the exams and tests she did,andhearwhat the doctor has to say.

Also we will go to another specialist on eyes,because my mother says that she is seeing worst,and fearing to get blind.
And for now,all i have to say is that i will resart the journey of hospitals appotments.
I just hope that this time,something for real can be done.
My mother is very tired,very weak,and i'm not feeling with a lot of strengh as well.

[Janey]

My prayers continue for you and your mother *hugs* xx

[144,000]

Thank you Janey for your caring and support.

The reason why i haven't updated the thread is because there was nothing i could add,as i was waiting for my mother's appoitments to find out what was going on.

Well...today we discovered that my mother still has the infection that was causing her trouble and pain when going to the restroom,and also causing her troubles to digest the food.

She is going to make lots of exams and tests to the blood and irune to see if this time,with other medicins,she gets better.
On the 21st of this month,she will make an MRI to measure her aneurism and an angiogram as well.
On the 25th,she will go to the radiologist and the neurologist to know the results of the exams and hopefuly have some treatment to help her feeling better.
on the 27th we will go to the family doctor to show the exams and tests she did,andhearwhat the doctor has to say.

Also we will go to another specialist on eyes,because my mother says that she is seeing worst,and fearing to get blind.
And for now,all i have to say is that i will resart the journey of hospitals appotments.
I just hope that this time,something for real can be done.
My mother is very tired,very weak,and i'm not feeling with a lot of strengh as well.


i'm still praying

[Carol]

Hi Maria,

Just readed your'e tread,my thoughts are with you and your'e mother and fanily!
Take Care! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[IrIslovesMJ]

Thank you Janey for your caring and support.

The reason why i haven't updated the thread is because there was nothing i could add,as i was waiting for my mother's appoitments to find out what was going on.

Well...today we discovered that my mother still has the infection that was causing her trouble and pain when going to the restroom,and also causing her troubles to digest the food.

She is going to make lots of exams and tests to the blood and irune to see if this time,with other medicins,she gets better.
On the 21st of this month,she will make an MRI to measure her aneurism and an angiogram as well.
On the 25th,she will go to the radiologist and the neurologist to know the results of the exams and hopefuly have some treatment to help her feeling better.
on the 27th we will go to the family doctor to show the exams and tests she did,andhearwhat the doctor has to say.

Also we will go to another specialist on eyes,because my mother says that she is seeing worst,and fearing to get blind.
And for now,all i have to say is that i will resart the journey of hospitals appotments.
I just hope that this time,something for real can be done.
My mother is very tired,very weak,and i'm not feeling with a lot of strengh as well.

You should be very proud of yourself...
You and your mother are going through very difficult time these days and I am under the impression that you are all your mother needs. A devoted daughter who is always there for her.
I hope you bring us good news in your next update!:angel:

HUGS!!!!! :)

[Mariajoaosilva]

IrIslovesMJ...what you said,touched me deep.I wish i could be everything my mother needs.She would be healthy a long time ago.
I do what i do because i love my mother more than words can say.I would do anything for her,without thinking.Thank you so much for your prayers and support.HUGS


Carol...thank you so much.it means a lot to me.XXXXXX

[Ape]

Sorry it took me a while to come here to read. I knew it might be sad and sometimes it really affects me to read about other peoples pain and difficulty so I was putting it off, though still prayed for you and your mother. Now I see more what the situation is. It must be tough to stay strong through it all, and on top of it being exhausted. Then when you get exhausted it's hard to fully take care of yourself and then the vicious cycle continues. I really hope you are able to take care of yourself as well as your mother. It's good you have opened up. I hope our prayers can help. You are doing a wonderful thing taking care of her that way. Very selfless and loving.

[Bl00dyphynix]

my heart hurts for you :( i didnt read all the posts so im sorry if these are reapeats. prayer on top of everything. praypraypray your heart out! :pray: i also suggest MJs music like keep the faith. i read a bit about the groups and seeing a theropist and this will help a bit. as for something you can do for your mother, try to by her a gift, or make her something to make her happy. also try toget your family over there not just to help you but she would probably be happy to see them.

you will be in my thoughts and prayers. please let us know how everything goes. trust in GOD. and I hope for the best.

GOD Bless you and your family. :hug: :flowers: :angel:

<3 Megs

[Mariajoaosilva]

Ape...please don't worry for not having said anything for sometime.believe me i understand very well what you feel .
I'm doing all i can for my mother's confort and happiness.
I fear this can be our last christmas together,so i want to make sure i give her and do to her,all i can.
Yes i am very tired.But i don't know if i am more tired of seeing my mother in pain and getting worst with time,or if i am tired because i am all alone doing everything for her.
Like i said already,my mother is the person i love the most in this world.anything i can do for her,i do without thinking,because she made me who i am,and i couldn't be more happy for being her daughter.


Bl00dyphynix...You made me smile when you suggested that i should hear Michael.
Anytime i am deep despair,Michael is the one i listen and believe me,it helps a bit.
Also i do trust and believe in God very much.In fact,i think that if it wasn't the faith i have,i think i would gone crazy a long time ago.I want to thank you,from the bottom of my heart for your kind words.HUGS


Tomorrow my mother will make an ANGIO MRI...doctor thinks that my mom's aneurism has gott bigger so they will measure it.
My mom is so tired and scared.She says it hurts a lot,because all her veins are very damadged.I just hope she dosen't have to suffer.She has been through so much already.
Thank you all so much for your words of support and prayers.They mean much more than i can say,and i truly believe that if it wasn't the support i am having here,i would be lost a long time ago.
God bless all of you.

[LindaC781]

Thank you Janey for your caring and support.

The reason why i haven't updated the thread is because there was nothing i could add,as i was waiting for my mother's appoitments to find out what was going on.

Well...today we discovered that my mother still has the infection that was causing her trouble and pain when going to the restroom,and also causing her troubles to digest the food.

She is going to make lots of exams and tests to the blood and irune to see if this time,with other medicins,she gets better.
On the 21st of this month,she will make an MRI to measure her aneurism and an angiogram as well.
On the 25th,she will go to the radiologist and the neurologist to know the results of the exams and hopefuly have some treatment to help her feeling better.
on the 27th we will go to the family doctor to show the exams and tests she did,andhearwhat the doctor has to say.

Also we will go to another specialist on eyes,because my mother says that she is seeing worst,and fearing to get blind.
And for now,all i have to say is that i will resart the journey of hospitals appotments.
I just hope that this time,something for real can be done.
My mother is very tired,very weak,and i'm not feeling with a lot of strengh as well.

Maria - her eye may have gone red because she was using her eye muscles a little too much. I bet she was excited though to be able to get out and about.

My prayers continue for your mother and you.....hugs!

[Bl00dyphynix]

Ape...please don't worry for not having said anything for sometime.believe me i understand very well what you feel .
I'm doing all i can for my mother's confort and happiness.
I fear this can be our last christmas together,so i want to make sure i give her and do to her,all i can.
Yes i am very tired.But i don't know if i am more tired of seeing my mother in pain and getting worst with time,or if i am tired because i am all alone doing everything for her.
Like i said already,my mother is the person i love the most in this world.anything i can do for her,i do without thinking,because she made me who i am,and i couldn't be more happy for being her daughter.


Bl00dyphynix...You made me smile when you suggested that i should hear Michael.
Anytime i am deep despair,Michael is the one i listen and believe me,it helps a bit.
Also i do trust and believe in God very much.In fact,i think that if it wasn't the faith i have,i think i would gone crazy a long time ago.I want to thank you,from the bottom of my heart for your kind words.HUGS


Tomorrow my mother will make an ANGIO MRI...doctor thinks that my mom's aneurism has gott bigger so they will measure it.
My mom is so tired and scared.She says it hurts a lot,because all her veins are very damadged.I just hope she dosen't have to suffer.She has been through so much already.
Thank you all so much for your words of support and prayers.They mean much more than i can say,and i truly believe that if it wasn't the support i am having here,i would be lost a long time ago.
God bless all of you.

oh yes..same with me. if i didnt trust or believe in GOD, and i didnt kill myself sometime in High School, i would have either turned to guys, sex, alchohol or drugs for relief, and just cause myself more pain in the end. GOD is always the one who can sustain you when nothing else..or no one else can. ive surely learned that...especially this year. ive gone through more hell this year then...id say my entire life put togeter. its good to know you have that faith...i hope you can surround yourself with family as much as possibly also, be it in person or phone calls.

my :heart: goes out to you. :hug: keep the faith!

<3 Megs

[Mariajoaosilva]

LindaC781...I just hope so much you are right,my friend.Thank you for your support.HUGS

Bl00dyphynix...My familly and friends are very busy living their own lives,so if it wasn't the help and support i am having from people here,from my boyfriend,(that unffortunately lives away from me),and my family doctor,i would be going through this alone,as only when my mother has an emergency and ends up in the ICU,they talk.
I have no idea what you went through this all year,but if you want to talk to about it,feel free to pm me anytime.If i can do anything to help,i will for sure.

As for my mother's news...we went today to the hospital so she could make her ANGIO MRI.
She returned exausted home.The results we will know next tuesday,25th.
As all of you can imagine,my mother and me are very anxious and nervous,because we will know how her brain is.

Again i want to thank all of you in my name and my mother's name (Elisa),for all the support and prayers.They are making true miracles at least in one thing...I don't feel as alone,as i was feeling before i started this thread.
God Bless all of you.

[LindaC781]

God bless YOU mariaJo....you are never alone going through this stuff.. We're here for you. All the way. You have something that bothers you? Just come on here....we'll support you no matter what.

[Carol]

.....................No ThXxX hun! We are here for you and eachother:biggrin:
Take care of your'e self also,ok?

*bighug*

God bless you!

[Mariajoaosilva]

And the updates go on...*sigh*

Tomorrow,monday,it's going to be one of those days to forget.

In the early morning,my mother is going to make lots of tests to her kidneys and,blood and urine.
We will also schedule an ecography to her thyroide
In the evening,God knows at what time,i will go to my psychiatrist to show him my exams and tests,and hopefuly find out what is going on with me.

Then on tuesday the 25th,me and my mother will go to the hospital to know the result of her Angio Mri,and see what the neurologist and neurocirgion,have to say.
I hope i am wrong,but something tells me i will not have good news.My mom is always very tired,and only leaves the house to go to the hospital or appoitments with my family doctor and even if we go by car,when she returns home,she is exausted and her pulse is beating way much to fast.

Again i want to thank you all for your love,support and prayers.
God bless you all.HUGS


<RTE_TEXT></RTE_TEXT>

[cass]

Hope everything goes well for your Mom at the hospital. I'm sure you are in for a long tiring day tomorrow. Hope your dr's appointment goes well tomorrow soon. I'm very happy that you are
getting help to deal with your situation right now, I just wish your other family members would
help out more and help take some of the stress and pressure of you. Take care Maria. I'll be
waiting for an update. Love you *hug*

[Bl00dyphynix]

I really hope everything goes well tomorrow. Im very glad you have a psychiatrist to go to..I hope that helps!

I want to share a song with you that has helped me through a lot of hard times..I find the lyrics very inspiring(reminds me of Michael actually...youll see why ;) )

Winterborn By The Cruxshadows

Dry your eyes and quietly bear this pain with pride
For heaven shall remember the silent and the brave
And promise me, they will never see, the fear within our eyes

We will give strength to those who still remain

So bury fear for fate draws near and hide the signs of pain
With noble acts, the bravest souls endure the heart's remains
Discard regret, that in this debt a better world is made
That children of a newer day might remember, and avoid our fate(I waited all day in the pourin rain...but nobody came no nobody came) (prepare for battle!)

CHORUS: And in the fury of this darkest hour we will be your light
You've asked me for my sacrifice and I am Winter born
Without denying, a faith is come(2nd time in GOD, 3rd in man)that I have never known
I hear the angels call my name and I am Winter born

Hold your head up high-for there is no greater love
Think of the faces of the people you defend

And promise me, they will never see the tears within our eyes
Although we are men with mortal sins, angels never cry

And in the fury of this darkest hour

I will be your light
A lifetime for this destiny
For I am Winter born
And in this moment...
I will not run, it is my place to stand
We few shall carry hope

Within our bloodied hands

And in our Dying
We're more alive-than we have ever been
I've lived for these few seconds
For I am Winter born

Within this moment now
I am for you, though better men have failed
I will give my life for love
For I am Winter born


And in my dying I'm more alive, than I have ever been
I will make this sacrifice for I am Winter born

be "Winterborn" ^_^ I hope all the prayers have been helping :hug:

<3 Megs

[Mariajoaosilva]

Cass...i love you so much sweet one.Hope you are doing well.HUGS

Bl00dyphynix...the lyric you sent me is very touching and in some parts i can relate to myself.Thank you for sharing it with me.

Oh well what can say...i wish i had good news but again i don't.
Yesterday late in the evening my doctor told me that i need to be seen foranother specialist and to take more vitamines cause the ones i am on,are not enough for what is happening.
I will call my family doctor next wednesday(tomorrow)to see what can be done.

About my mother...I am so scared.We wentto the hospital today and the news i got left me almost in panic.Her brain aneurism is growing.She is loosing blood from one vein so she will need another surgery (embolism)to see if they can fix it.But this surgery is very very dangerous as they need to go to the aneurism,and cover it with some kind of glue,and a simple touch can make the aneurism brust and my mother dies.
She will start preparation for it,and i just hope it's not too late when they rechedule the surgery.
If everything goes as planed,my motherwill go on the 22nd of december to her ofltamologist,and make the eye suregey on the 30th of january.
Also she will make a lot of tests to see if by april 7th they can schedule the embolization.My only fear is...what if it is too late?If my mother is loosing blood,that can became a very serious problem.So because i was so scared,i now have the contact of her doctor and if my mother feels any kind of painin her head,she must return to the hospital imediatly.
Now when my mother says that this can be her last christmas,i do beleive it and get so scared.I never imagined she would be this sick.
I can't imagine my life without my mother.I have no idea how i will sleep tonight as since i returned from the hospital today,i have this weird feeling that if i leave her alone,she will leave me.
I don't have words,prayers or thoughts that can express how much i wish this was only a nightmare.But unfortunately,the worst is still to come and i am so tired...
I hope i am not upseting anyone by opening up like this almost everyday.But for 2 and half years,i suffered here alone.(a part from my family doctor and boyfriend that are just amazing).It'sjust that when i think it can't get worst than it is,something always happens.
Thank you all so much for your support and prayers.

[cass]

Good chatting to you on tues. evening. We will have to do that again soon! Sorry the news wasn't better. Look like your Mom has a tough journey ahead of her still and a dangerous one. I know you are exhausted and mentally drained. *hug* Please God, things will work out and the surgeries will be successful. Hang in there and know I'm here for you.

[Carol]

...............Awwwww:better::no:My heart,prayers and thoughts are with you and your'e mother!
Thats so terrible to hear!:better::no:
Sadly I cant be with you both,although I eally wish to!:better::yes::D
((((((((((((((((((((((((:better:Bighug:better:)))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I'm sure you both will get trough it,and Michaels music will help greatly aswell to soothe!:D:yes:

[Mariajoaosilva]

cass...sweetie i loved very much to chat with you too.I hope you are doing the best way possible.HUGS
Yes i am very exausted...but i have this very strong feeling telling me that maybe my mom's journey is not that long...that yes this is her last christmas with me...But i try to keep my faith and i say to myself everyday that what i feel or think,is a big mistake,that miracles can happen.

Carol..you might not be here in person as you would wish,byut believe me,you are much more with me than you can imagine.I have family living 5 minutes away from me, and they don't care at all with what is going on.If it wasn't my friends,If it wasn't Michael...for sure i would have gone crazy a long time ago.
So...thank you so much for your prayers,love and support.They mean much more than words can describe.

God Bless you.HUGS

[mariemarie]

You're in my thoughts, Maria. I can only imagine how it must feel for you know. But the way you are opening up here in this very thread, shows to me that you are so strong and no matter what will happen, you will make it through. Your mother is blessed to have a daughter like you.

I wish you and your mother and family the best of times. Stay strong and along the way it is also important that you take good care of your own health as well.

Sending a lot of love and support your way <3

[Carol]

cass...sweetie i loved very much to chat with you too.I hope you are doing the best way possible.HUGS
Yes i am very exausted...but i have this very strong feeling telling me that maybe my mom's journey is not that long...that yes this is her last christmas with me...But i try to keep my faith and i say to myself everyday that what i feel or think,is a big mistake,that miracles can happen.

Carol..you might not be here in person as you would wish,byut believe me,you are much more with me than you can imagine.I have family living 5 minutes away from me, and they don't care at all with what is going on.If it wasn't my friends,If it wasn't Michael...for sure i would have gone crazy a long time ago.
So...thank you so much for your prayers,love and support.They mean much more than words can describe.

God Bless you.HUGS

...................Wow,so sorry to hear that about your'e family:(:no::better:
How can they dont care?????:no:

No ThXxX at all needed!:D:better:

[LindaC781]

Maria - please don't give up hope. There is always hope. I send you hugs. Take care.

[Bl00dyphynix]

Maria - please don't give up hope. There is always hope. I send you hugs. Take care.

thats sad that your family doesnt care :( that must be so hard to deal with. im glad this is helping you tho! youre in my prayers..like Linda said. Their is always hope. GOD is always with you. ^_^

:hug:

<3 Megs

[Mariajoaosilva]

mariemarie...Your words touched me deep.Thank you so much for your love and support.
Yes i do all i can for my mother because she person i love the most in this world.I just i'm not sosure about the strengh you say i have,I feel so tired of all this you know?
Anyways...thank you so much for your prayers.HUGS

Carol...that is a question i do to myself all the time.How and why can't my family,my mom's family,not care about what is going on?Till today the only answer i have is that they are very selfish perople that only think and care of themselfs.i just pray that when my uncles and aunts need help from her daughters and sons,they don't do the same,as they are doing to my mother now.
If it is painfull for me,it is even more for my mother to see that her brothers and her sister don't care at all,unless my mom ends in ICU for some reason.
My mother was always a person to do everything for the family and now this what she is getting.If there's someone i know that dosen't deserve what is going through,is my mother.If i could do more...If i could take away all her pains...I beleive that they will realise that what they are doing to my mom is wrong,when my uncles and aunt need help,and my cousins will not care at all.I only fear it can be too late.

LindaC781...My friend...you know much better than me that my mother dosen't have much time alive.
Yes i beleive in miracles and i do have a lot of faith,but i keep being told to get ready...to prepare myself for the worst that can happen anytime.Her aneurisma is growing...
Thank you so much for your kind words.HUGS

Bl00dyphynix...You have no idea how much this thread is helping me dealing with my life.
For 2 and half years,i was dealing with this situation almost alone.(of course i had always supoport from my boyfriend,from my family doctor,and one or 2 friends,that are the ones that still are here for me as much as possible),but most of the times,i was keeping to myself all i'm going through.
I had to end up in the hospital myself to realise that i should find a way to open up,because this is a very hard burden to cary alone
.I always loved this forum very much.That is why i thought about this place,and i am very glad to realise that i have much more help and support than i was expecting.
This is why i want to thank you and everybody in here,for all the support,love and prayers.
Since i started this thread here,i don't feel that alone,and i know that i'll be listened.Thank you so so much to all of you from the bottom of my heart.

God Bless you all

[IrIslovesMJ]

Hey Maria :)

Anything new? Do the doctors keep you up to date on a regular basis?
Do you have some good news? :angel:

May God grant you with the courage and the strength to overcome these difficult times:angel:

*Hugs*

[Bl00dyphynix]

In every need let me come to you with humble trust saying: Jesus help me!
In all my doubs, perplexities, and temptations: Jesus, help me!
In hours of lonlieness, weariness and trials: Jesus, help me!
In the failure of my plans and hopes, in disappointments, troubles and sorows: Jesus, help me!
When others fail me, and Your grace alone can assist me: Jesus, help me!
When i throw myself on You tender Love as Savior: Jesus, help me!
When my heart is cast down by failure, at seeing no good come out of my efforts: Jesus, help me!
When i feel impatient and my cross irritates me: Jesus, help me!
When i am ill and my head and hands cannot work and i am lonely: Jesus, help me!
Always, always in spite of weekness, falls and shortcomings of every kind: Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, help me and never forsake me.

I dont know who wrote this sadly, but its a wonderful prayer. I thought it was perfect for you. :) I suggest you take this and say it whenever you are feeling weary, or daily if you can...its REALLY helped me and brought me peace in hours of despair.

Ive been thinking of you...I hope youre doing okey hun. :hug:

GOD BLESS YOU! :angel:

<3 Megs

[Mariajoaosilva]

Bl00dyphynix...You are right...the prayer is lovely and very toutching.

Thank you so much for your caring and prayers.

God Bless you too.HUGS

[Mariajoaosilva]

And again i come here to say what is going on with my mother that i wish i could understand what this means,but i am not a doctor and only God knows how much i would love to be for now,so i could help my mother in a better way.
My mother made last week lots of analyses to her blood, and to her urine most of all.
The results came and from what i can tell,she has serious problems as she has blood in her urine,she has grahm positive(?) bacterias,high colesterol,and again blood pressure too high.
last night her blood pressure was 17.1/11.1
As i said,i have no idea what this really means,but i have a feeling telling me that it is not good at all.
Why i say so?well,i just look at my mother day by day,and something new is happening,or she is feeling bad and very tired without reason at all.
If only someone,a doctor could give answers to my questions...But either they don't know,or they don't want to tell me,so i won't feel in panic.What they don't know for sure,is that it would help me much more if i knew exactly what to expect.
Next week my mother will make a CT Scan to her thyroide...i'm scared already to get the results.Lately everything she does,turns out to be another problem to add to the ones she has already!
I'm so tired and frustrated!!!!I just wish i could end with all this somehow.

[mariemarie]

I wish I could say something else than hang in there. Your mother is fighting and you are doing the battle together with her.

Hang in there, Maria :flowers: :flowers: :flowers:

[LindaC781]

And again i come here to say what is going on with my mother that i wish i could understand what this means,but i am not a doctor and only God knows how much i would love to be for now,so i could help my mother in a better way.
My mother made last week lots of analyses to her blood, and to her urine most of all.
The results came and from what i can tell,she has serious problems as she has blood in her urine,she has grahm positive(?) bacterias,high colesterol,and again blood pressure too high.
last night her blood pressure was 17.1/11.1
As i said,i have no idea what this really means,but i have a feeling telling me that it is not good at all.
Why i say so?well,i just look at my mother day by day,and something new is happening,or she is feeling bad and very tired without reason at all.
If only someone,a doctor could give answers to my questions...But either they don't know,or they don't want to tell me,so i won't feel in panic.What they don't know for sure,is that it would help me much more if i knew exactly what to expect.
Next week my mother will make a CT Scan to her thyroide...i'm scared already to get the results.Lately everything she does,turns out to be another problem to add to the ones she has already!
I'm so tired and frustrated!!!!I just wish i could end with all this somehow.

Okay Maria, here are the questions you should ask the doctor, and insist on answers to...

1.) What exactly is wrong with my mothers urine? Does she have a UTI - urinary tract infection? Why does she have blood in her urine?
2.) Why is my mother so tired?
3.) What is the status of my mothers aneurysm? IS it worse? How bad is it?
4.) What is wrong with my mothers thyroid? (Maria, your mothers thyroid may be underactive - which would explain her lack of energy. The thyroid gland is part of her metabolism. If it isn't working fully,. that would explain why she is tired.)

Please send me a PM when you get the answers to these questions - I can help you understand what is going on. Tell your doctor you are not a child, and that you are responsible for caring for your mother. You are her daughter, and you are entitled to know what is going on with your mother health wise.

I wish you luck. You may have to be pretty stubborn with your doctors, but you deserve to know IN LANGUAGE that YOU can understand, what the current status of the health of your mother is. Don't be afraid to tell the doctors you need to know, and you do not understand what they are telling you. Ask them to tell you about your mothers health in simpler terms, terms you can understand ok?

Believe me, I had to do this not only with my father when he had ventricular tachycardia - abnormally fast heart rate, but also with my auntie Marie - when she had a stroke. Doctors like to put things into their terms - and this information is so important for you to know as a caregiver to them. Doctors need to simplify their language, to make it simple and basic so that you can understand. And if the doctors cannot talk to you, ask her nurses. Nurses are there to communicate with family members too.....and they are better communicators, many times...

Good Luck! And please keep us posted okay?

[cass]

Yes, Maria. Linda is right. U got to insist on clear answers sometimes. When my Mom would talk to the doctors about my Dad's condition she would come out of the meeting no wiser then she was before she went in. She didn't know what questions to even ask sometimes. When they would answer her she wouldn't always understand what exactly they meant. She would tell me what they said and I would have to explain what they meant. This is your mother's life you are talking about. U need to tell your Mom's doctors that you want to know exactly what tests are run, why and that you want the results and you want the results explained to you.

Thanks Linda!

[LindaC781]

Yes, Maria. Linda is right. U got to insist on clear answers sometimes. When my Mom would talk to the doctors about my Dad's condition she would come out of the meeting no wiser then she was before she went in. She didn't know what questions to even ask sometimes. When they would answer her she wouldn't always understand what exactly they meant. She would tell me what they said and I would have to explain what they meant. This is your mother's life you are talking about. U need to tell your Mom's doctors that you want to know exactly what tests are run, why and that you want the results and you want the results explained to you.

Thanks Linda!

Thank you Cass. It is so frustrating dealing with doctors sometimes....that's why there are nurses to come in and even smooth over things that doctors will brusquely tell patients. I swear, some of them have absolutely no bedside manner...none in the slightest!!

[cass]

Yes. No bedside manner. My Dad's doctor called my Mom over the phone to tell her that he was dying. The doctor told her that the chemo had worked, he said that his blood was good and that his sodium was normal BUT, he was dying! She was told that old age had caught up to hm and that the chemo had weakened his system so much that he was just going to die. Can you imagine hearing that news on the phone!

[Marilyn Monroe]

hi i just started reading some of your posts here Maria..and i also pray for you and your mother. and i want to thank you also because sooner or later all our mothers who are still with us will be in your mothers sitution and sick..maybe differenty but still the same part of aging and such. so you have been giving me some strengh for when that day comes for my mom one day. honestly if i was in your situation id probably get panic attacks everyday worried sick since i suffer from severe anxiety disorder. so thanks to all those who post inspiring messages. it was a great read for me. god bless.

[Mariajoaosilva]

mariemarie...i know that itis hard to find words for suituation like this.Still i aprreciate very much your words and thoughts,Thank you very very much.You might think that it's only words,but to me it's much more than that.


LindaC781...i printed your post to make sure i ask everything,and if there's something i remember,i will write it so i wont forget.
Thank you so much for being here for me and help me understand what i can't.
My mother will make a thiroide scan next thursday and only when i havethe resultsof that exam i can schedule an appoitment ro my doctor.
You are very right when you say that i need luck with doctors.Most of the times they act as if it was nothing going on,and i've lost control a few times already when my mom was on ICU and all i would hear was "she is stable now"
Fortunatellty,i have a famly doctor that is an amazing person.Sheis much more than a doctor to me.
She cares so much,and is so human,that even when she is in holydays,or sic,she calls and asks how is everything going.She gets up at 3 or 4 am if i call her because she knows that if i am calling it's because it is needed.
She is a bless in my life and when i have all the results to show her,i will ask her to tell me wwith simple words what all the results means.Hopefuly she will be able to explain me.
But linda...be sure i will PM you when i know something.
Thank you so so much for your support and care.It means a lot to more to me than words can say.

cass...You are so right my dear friend.sometimes we don't even know what to ask.This is why i think that not everybody should be a doctor.Being a doctor to me is much more that do tests and exams.Being a doctor to me means being able to be almost like priest.Has to be someone that knows how to listen,that cares about the patients and family,that tries to help and support the best way possible,thatis human,and understanding.
I could never be a doctor because i don't see a person in the hospital as a patient.I see as a human.I can't hide what i feel.
Doctors and nurses should learn how to be human i think.a Bit of human touch can help much more sometimes,than what they think.
And cass sweetie,i was never in your shoes...i have no idea how you and your mother were able to deal with such a news over the phone????
i think that if this happened to me,i would go crazzy for sure,and for the doctors safety,better that he/she is very far away from me.

Marilyn Monroe...I'm glad to know i can help you somehow.But let me tell you that my health is not perfect either.I'm under lots of suplements and multivitamines because like you,i have anxiety and i already ended up in the hospital 2 times this year with lack of air.
I think that when you are in a situation like this,you gain strenghs in places you have no idea that existed in you before.
I am always saying how tired and frustrated i am.How i want to end with everything,but when i see my mother with problems,i have no idea what happens to me,cause untill she gets better,i feel like i can do anything.I'm sure that if love your mother as i love mine,you will be able to do whatever.Unconditional love,gives us skills to deal with things we never imagined we could deal.
Thank you so much for your prayers and please take care of you.

[LindaC781]

Maria - this is just so tough for you and I just wanted you to know that I'm here to talk to. Just PM me if you have any other questions. I'd like to know why they are scanning her thyroid....? along with the other questions....if you can think of any more, by all means. I just listed stuff off the top of my head.

[Mariajoaosilva]

Maria - this is just so tough for you and I just wanted you to know that I'm here to talk to. Just PM me if you have any other questions. I'd like to know why they are scanning her thyroid....? along with the other questions....if you can think of any more, by all means. I just listed stuff off the top of my head.

Linda,thank you so so much for your concern and help.
I will PM you when i have a question or i feel the need to talk.
You know,i don't like to have the attentions all on me when there are here so many people with problems in here and besides that,all of you have an offline life as well.
But i want to thank you deeply for your support and care.
From what i understood,my mom needs a scan to her thyroid because the doctor thinks that some of the problems my mother has,can be because the thyroid is not working well.Be sure that when my mother has the results i will tell you what it is.

[cass]

Just to make it clear. I was talking about the Doctor in the hospital where they were running tests and giving him the chemo. My Dad's family doctor was amazing. She came to see him 3 times a day when I was home for the 2 weeks before he died and she lives 25 miles from where we live. She came right away the night he died and stayed with the family until 3am! She was amazing. The total opposite of the doctors in the hospital who btw didn't communicate with her properly at all. She went above and beyond, she even came by my Mom's house one evening last week, just to check on her and make sure she was alright.

Good luck Maria. Try and be strong and know you CAN do this. It's hard but take it just day by day.. that is the best way to handle your situation... and you know when the going get's tough. we are here for you!

[Mariajoaosilva]

Just to make it clear. I was talking about the Doctor in the hospital where they were running tests and giving him the chemo. My Dad's family doctor was amazing. She came to see him 3 times a day when I was home for the 2 weeks before he died and she lives 25 miles from where we live. She came right away the night he died and stayed with the family until 3am! She was amazing. The total opposite of the doctors in the hospital who btw didn't communicate with her properly at all. She went above and beyond, she even came by my Mom's house one evening last week, just to check on her and make sure she was alright.

Good luck Maria. Try and be strong and know you CAN do this. It's hard but take it just day by day.. that is the best way to handle your situation... and you know when the going get's tough. we are here for you!

Cass my dear friend...Glad to know that you have a great family doctor and that she took care of you and your mother.You say i can deal with this...i say,i am living day by day and seeing what can i do.
I love you and admire you so much...I'm also here for you.Never forget it.HUGS

[jayjackson]

I pray for both of you, you have my deepest sympathy. :praying:

[Mariajoaosilva]

I pray for both of you, you have my deepest sympathy. :praying:

Thank you so much.

[Carol]

mariemarie...Your words touched me deep.Thank you so much for your love and support.
Yes i do all i can for my mother because she person i love the most in this world.I just i'm not sosure about the strengh you say i have,I feel so tired of all this you know?
Anyways...thank you so much for your prayers.HUGS

Carol...that is a question i do to myself all the time.How and why can't my family,my mom's family,not care about what is going on?Till today the only answer i have is that they are very selfish perople that only think and care of themselfs.i just pray that when my uncles and aunts need help from her daughters and sons,they don't do the same,as they are doing to my mother now.
If it is painfull for me,it is even more for my mother to see that her brothers and her sister don't care at all,unless my mom ends in ICU for some reason.
My mother was always a person to do everything for the family and now this what she is getting.If there's someone i know that dosen't deserve what is going through,is my mother.If i could do more...If i could take away all her pains...I beleive that they will realise that what they are doing to my mom is wrong,when my uncles and aunt need help,and my cousins will not care at all.I only fear it can be too late.

LindaC781...My friend...you know much better than me that my mother dosen't have much time alive.
Yes i beleive in miracles and i do have a lot of faith,but i keep being told to get ready...to prepare myself for the worst that can happen anytime.Her aneurisma is growing...
Thank you so much for your kind words.HUGS

Bl00dyphynix...You have no idea how much this thread is helping me dealing with my life.
For 2 and half years,i was dealing with this situation almost alone.(of course i had always supoport from my boyfriend,from my family doctor,and one or 2 friends,that are the ones that still are here for me as much as possible),but most of the times,i was keeping to myself all i'm going through.
I had to end up in the hospital myself to realise that i should find a way to open up,because this is a very hard burden to cary alone
.I always loved this forum very much.That is why i thought about this place,and i am very glad to realise that i have much more help and support than i was expecting.
This is why i want to thank you and everybody in here,for all the support,love and prayers.
Since i started this thread here,i don't feel that alone,and i know that i'll be listened.Thank you so so much to all of you from the bottom of my heart.

God Bless you all

.............Wow,I really hope this people will wake-up one day in this!:yes:
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I would be like them:(:no:

[sweet princess]

You know,i don't like to have the attentions all on me when there are here so many people with problems in here and besides that,all of you have an offline life as well.

Maria,

That's why you opened this thread so that you could tell us what's bothering you.
Please remember that we are all here for you if you wanna talk. we love you. :flowers:

[Mariajoaosilva]

Carol...I have no idea if my family will wake up as you say.
But i do know,that when my mother dies,they will be the ones making a big drama and "in such a pain..."
I've seen this happen before so it will not suprise me at all.
Thank God i can't be like them and abandon my mother!
How they live with themselfs?good question,,,i have no idea and i don't want to know.The day i know how they make it,is the day i became like them.


sweet princess...thank you so much for your love.
If you want to know why i opened this thread,i can't give you a specific answer.I just was at a point that i needed to open up.I had no idea i would have this much help and support..All i wanted was to take this weight out of my chest.
Thank God,i found help,support,prayers and strengh,and i do think that if it wasn't all of you,i would have gone crazy a long time ago.

so thank you all so much for everything.
God bless you all.

[sweet princess]

sweet princess...thank you so much for your love.
If you want to know why i opened this thread,i can't give you a specific answer.I just was at a point that i needed to open up.I had no idea i would have this much help and support..All i wanted was to take this weight out of my chest.
Thank God,i found help,support,prayers and strengh,and i do think that if it wasn't all of you,i would have gone crazy a long time ago.
.
You Are very welcome dear, Please keep us updated. :flowers:

[Mariajoaosilva]

The results of my mother exams came finally.
Now i have to wait to the appoitment of the family doctor and also of my mom's eyes that will be next monday,22nd ,at 2.30 pm.
I just hope i will not have bad news.
Thank you all,once again,for all the prayers,love and support.

[mariemarie]

:flowers: :flowers: :flowers:

My best wishes to you and your family

[LindaC781]

MariaJoSilva - how is your mother? Is she better? What is going on?

[MissyJackson]

thinking of you family hun i hope ur moms okay

all the best

[Mariajoaosilva]

mariemarie...thank you so much for the wishes.hugs

LindaC781...My mother has lots of up and downs.So far i am waiting for the appoitments my mom has to her family doctor and also to the one that opererated her eye.
She has that appoitment next monday 22nd.She is very anxious and nervous because Christmas is next week and she is seeing worst and is scared to be loosing her view.
If i haven't pmed you still,is because unffortunately i don't have any news to say.
Thank you so much for your concern,my friend.
As soon as i have any news,i'll let you know.

MissyLedger...thank you so so much.your thoughts and prayers mean a lot more than words can say.HUGS

[Janey]

Thinking of you, Maria, and your mother over this Christmas period. I will add you to my Christmas prayers. How did your mother do yesterday as you mentioned an appointment. I hope you have some good news.
Lets hope that the New Year brings you some relief from your worries. Keep strong and take care of yourself.
Big hugs

[smooth.criminal1987]

I pray allah to keep your mother alive
god bless you both

[Mariajoaosilva]

Janey...thank you so much for yourprayers that mean a lot more than words can say.HUGS

My mother's appoitment was very exausting for her as she made several tests in hereyes and all that to confirm what doctors already thought it could happen,She needs another surgery.But this time,to the other eye that in the meanwhile,got 2 muscles paralised.
The surgery will be on the 30th of january,but because this is a very dangerous surgey,my mom will start preparations on the 29th.
She will have to sign saying that she agress to do the surgery as doctors don't want any responsability in case something goes wrong.

As all of you can imagine,she is very scared and anxious,and she keeps saying that she wants to make this Chrismtas a special one because she feels it be her last.
Noone knows if that is true or not,i'm not a doctor,but sometimes i do feel that my mother dosen't have much time either.
It scares me to death to think that from one moment to the other my mother can die.
So i avoid thinking,and i am doing all she loves for christmas,to make sure she has it just like she always had.

smooth.criminal1987...thank you so so much for your prayers.HUGS

I truly believe and feel that if it wasn't all the support,love and prayers i am getting from all of you,that i would have gone crazy a long time ago.

All of you will be in my prayers in the Christmas mass.I will thank God having all of you as friends,and i will ask HIM for love,peace,health to all of you,as well as a wonderful 2009.

God Bless you all and thank you so so much for everything.

Merry Christmas!

[Janey]

I really, truely hope you, your mother and family have a Happy Christmas. God Bless

[Marilyn Monroe]

Marilyn Monroe...I'm glad to know i can help you somehow.But let me tell you that my health is not perfect either.I'm under lots of suplements and multivitamines because like you,i have anxiety and i already ended up in the hospital 2 times this year with lack of air.
I think that when you are in a situation like this,you gain strenghs in places you have no idea that existed in you before.
I am always saying how tired and frustrated i am.How i want to end with everything,but when i see my mother with problems,i have no idea what happens to me,cause untill she gets better,i feel like i can do anything.I'm sure that if love your mother as i love mine,you will be able to do whatever.Unconditional love,gives us skills to deal with things we never imagined we could deal.
Thank you so much for your prayers and please take care of you.

oh wow........

you have anxiety too. what type? or is it because of your mom this anxiety has all started? (hope shes doing well). if thats the case hope you can deal with it..because sometimes it can linger for a long time. i have a pretty severe generalized anxiety disorder myself my whole life. i get it over anything and every thing..even happy things sometimes. my mind cant seem to control my responces to situations. and it gets worked up and i start to shake. sleepless nights sometimes. i have to remove myself from situations since i cant deal with negitivity like others can. i dont have anyone in my life in person who has this disorder. so im always looking for advice on how to deal online. xanax is my only option and it helps and clearing my mind. therapists helped in the beginning but then kept asking the same questions over and over like they could not remember me and it annoyed me. i had to deal with social anxiety as well. im trying hard but its one of those conditions people dont understand so they laugh at or ignore.

yea..i get the feeling you cant breathe sometimes too. sometimes i get anxiety without that feeling though. thats mostly panic attack. i have went to the hospital for that..i always wondered what medicine they gave me there. well anyway its nice that to meet someone else who sufferes too

hope you have a happy christmas maria..

[Carol]

Janey...thank you so much for yourprayers that mean a lot more than words can say.HUGS

My mother's appoitment was very exausting for her as she made several tests in hereyes and all that to confirm what doctors already thought it could happen,She needs another surgery.But this time,to the other eye that in the meanwhile,got 2 muscles paralised.
The surgery will be on the 30th of january,but because this is a very dangerous surgey,my mom will start preparations on the 29th.
She will have to sign saying that she agress to do the surgery as doctors don't want any responsability in case something goes wrong.

As all of you can imagine,she is very scared and anxious,and she keeps saying that she wants to make this Chrismtas a special one because she feels it be her last.
Noone knows if that is true or not,i'm not a doctor,but sometimes i do feel that my mother dosen't have much time either.
It scares me to death to think that from one moment to the other my mother can die.
So i avoid thinking,and i am doing all she loves for christmas,to make sure she has it just like she always had.

smooth.criminal1987...thank you so so much for your prayers.HUGS

I truly believe and feel that if it wasn't all the support,love and prayers i am getting from all of you,that i would have gone crazy a long time ago.

All of you will be in my prayers in the Christmas mass.I will thank God having all of you as friends,and i will ask HIM for love,peace,health to all of you,as well as a wonderful 2009.

God Bless you all and thank you so so much for everything.

Merry Christmas!

....................Awwwwwwwwww!:no:
Really terrible to hear!:no:
You both have all of our'e love and support!:yes::D

(((((((((((((((((((((((:wub:Bigwarmhug:wub:))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Have a''wonderful x-mas together!:D:yes::wub:

[Mariajoaosilva]

Janey...I hope you had a nice Christmas too.

My christmas was very exausting,cause i wanted to make sure i would do everything that my mother loves it.
besides all that,my youngger brother is sick with a big flue and high temperatures,so he was most of the time in bed.
The positive part of Christmas,was the fact that i was able to go to the midnight mass,and also to go to my father's villadge for Christmas lunch.I had a great time that lasted till almost midnight.
The only boring and sad part was when i had to return home and saw my mother exausted,depressed,sad,and also the fact that i had a lots of cleaning to do,because noone did a thing at my home.

Today,26th of December,my mother is still very tired,but dosen't look as exausted as she was last night and on Christmas eve.

Marilyn Monroe...I have anxiety for a long time.It got worst with all this problems of my mother of course,and because of it,i ended up in hospital.I am on multivitamines and also on some anti depressors like Efexor XR 75,and Zoloft.For the anxiety,i am on Victan.
To be very honest with you,i think that those medicins only help when they want and not when i would need.Sometimes i need to take more than one victan(doctors order when i am feeling worst),and i don't feel the way i was supposed to feel.
I do understand the way you feel because i've been there.Most of the times i can tell when something is going to happen,so i take measures to prevent.With age,if you have the same kind of problem as i do,you will be able to tell and feel when sometimes is wrong,and control it somehow.(Not all the time of course,but i would say,lots of them).
If you want to talk,please pm me and i will help yopu the best way i can.
Hope you had a nice Christmas as well and that you are taking very good care of you.God Bless.

Carol...Thank you so so much for your kind words and thoughts.I know my mother liked what i did,even if she was not able to enjoy this season properly.My conscience is clear and my heart in Peace.
Now i only Pray that what isd best for her happens.I love my mother to death,but i hate to see her in pain and getting worst almost everyday.If only there was something i could do to take away her pain...
*BIG WARM HUGS*

[FinalEyes]

I'm so sorry to hear about this. You and your mother are in my prayers.

[mijacfan]

all my prays and best wishes to you and your family

[LindaC781]

MariaJoSilva... I am praying for your mother to make it through the upcoming surgery. Please keep us posted here okay?

[Mariajoaosilva]

Thank you so so much FinalEyes,mijacfan and LindaC781.
yes i will keep you updated on what is going on.
For now all i can say is that i can't wait for my mother's family doctor's appoitment that itwill be,hopefully,in january after this season ends.
God Bless you all

[sweet princess]

aww, hon, I'm sorry. :( I can only say hanger in there. Please try to get some rest, I worry over you. :(

[Mariajoaosilva]

sweet princess...thank you so much for your words.You don't have to be worried with me.really.I try to take as many rest as possible and the multivitamines i'm on,help me not loosing strengh.

Tomorrow my mother will finally go to her family doctors appoitment.I truly hope i can know what is going on,understand it,and do something about it.
My mother has been feeling very down and sad,and i just wish i could do whatever to change it.

Anyways,for now i will only pray for the best.

Thank you all for the constant love,support and prayers.

[cass]

Good luck with your Mom's doctor appointment tomorrow, Maria. I'm sure your Mom has to be depressed being this ill for so long. :( Hopefully, 2009 will be her year and yours!

[Mariajoaosilva]

Cass sweetie...unffortunately i have to disagree with you about 2009.

My mom probably has kidney cancer.

The exams and tests she made,showed that there's a hudge infecion that never heals no matter what she takes or does.

My doctor suspects of cancer because of the pain she has in the kidneys and also the number of white cells.

I give up trying...i had enough and i can't handle this much more.When my mother dosen't needs me anymore,i will join her too.
Had enough of everything.

Sorry for the post.I just can't take it anymore.

[LindaC781]

Cass sweetie...unffortunately i have to disagree with you about 2009.

My mom probably has kidney cancer.

The exams and tests she made,showed that there's a hudge infecion that never heals no matter what she takes or does.

My doctor suspects of cancer because of the pain she has in the kidneys and also the number of white cells.

I give up trying...i had enough and i can't handle this much more.When my mother dosen't needs me anymore,i will join her too.
Had enough of everything.

Sorry for the post.I just can't take it anymore.

Oh Maria....the key point is "probably".. Please don't give up hope and trying. Do you have enough money to send your mom to America? We have some very good health institutions here - one of them is "Cancer Centers of America". There is another in Boston called Dana Farber. I hope and pray that 2009 is better for you and your family....please don't give up hope. Please.

[Mariajoaosilva]

LindaC781...i wish so much i had enough money to send my mother to USA...I also wish she could travel by plane.dotors say that the aneurism would brust for sure bnecause of the pression and the highs the plane gets.
I have no idea how it will be 2009,but i fear thatif it's not going to be like 2008,it0s going to be worst because here it's already 2009,and our new year's eve was awfull.
It is right now 2.35am,and i am finally having time for me,and because i can't leave my alone,i decided to come in here while i wait for my brother that went to a party to celebrate new year's eve.
I know i shouldn't give up hope,and everyday i try to foccus on something to help me mooving on.But it will make 3 years in Junethat i am living in this situation and despite all the medicins and vitamines i'm on,i am exausted.If only the work i do would heal my mother...would make her feel better...but the reality is that she is getting sick and sick almost everyday,and i'm told lots of times to be prepared for the unesxpected.I think that my biggest problem is that i have no idea how to do that?

Sorry for the long post my friend.
I truly hope that you and everybody of this forum,will have a wonderful 2009!

[Naturelle]

Hi Maria:

i remember you from MJJF, or pal talk sessions and I remember at that time you were going through this. I will keep you and your mom/family in my prayers as well. Try to be though and hang in there for the long haul.
keep us posted, i will be back to check in with you later on in the week.

[Mariajoaosilva]

mjalwaysonmymind...thank you so much foryour prayers.

Yes i am going through this situation for almost 3 years now.

But lately it's been getting worst almost everyday,that's why i felt the need to open up.
Thanks to the wonderful people of this forum i don't feel so alone.

[Mariajoaosilva]

I know i din't say much for sometime now,but the main reason is that there was nothing going on,because i was waiting for my mother's appoitment to make the exams,to see if she has kidney cancer,and also start preparation for her surgery that will be on the 30th of this month.

I have no idea if it is because of the weather we are having,or if it is because of her ilness,since last week,my mom has been having very very low temeperatures,as the family doctor told me to make sure that she would only go outside when needed.
We are having negative degrees,which is something that the last time it happened it was more than 25 years ago.
Last friday,it snowed in my town.The last time that happened,was also 25 years ago.
My home,as most of the homes in my country,dosen't have conditions for these kind of temeperatures,and this is why portugal is under a sever flue condition,and we are in orange alert(the most dangerous one is the red alert that comes before the orange) till the end of the week.

So...all this to say that tomorrow is the begining of another nightmare,andi have no idea how my mother or even me,will react if when the results come(have no idea yet),it says that she has kidney cancer.
At this point,all i pray for,is that God dosen't forget my mother,and dosen't cause her more pain.She has been through so much already.Andshe dosen't deserve this at all.

[big DB]

Maria you have all my love and you and your mother are most certainly in my prayers!


Stay strong my friend :)

[LindaC781]

Oh Maria. I am sending you warm hugs and prayers to you....

[Mariajoaosilva]

big DB...thank you so so much for your love and prayers...it means much more than words can say.Love you very much.HUGS


LindaC781...Thank you so so much for everything.(HUGS)

i will hopefully know the results on the 19th of this month(next monday).

I will let you know when i have the results.

Thank you so much for your care and God Bless You

[Mariajoaosilva]

It's tomorrow that i will know the results of the exams my mom made last week.
Hopefully i will be able to go to my family doctor to show the exams and find out what my mother has and how to heal it.
I just pray that it isn't cancer.She wouldn't handle it.
She is so scared with her surgery in the end of this month...

[sweet princess]

^^awww, remember to hold your up high. :D We're all here for you if you need us. :flowers:

[Naturelle]

My prayers are with you Maria...We are here for you.

[Mariajoaosilva]

And what i feared happened...

The results of my mother's exams show a quiste in her kidney! she will have to do a biopsy as soon as possible to find out if it's benin or not.
As if this was not enough,it was also found a spot in her genitals,which is driving the doctors crazy,because my mom had a complete hysteretomy more than 20 years ago.
I will go with her to my family doctor during this week hopefuly,and i guess she will need more exams.
The problem is that my mother will be operated in 11 days,she is very nervous,and having lots of troubles to sleep,despite the 3 sleeping pills she is having.
I have no idea how to handle all this.I'm at my limit and i'm so scared...I just wish i could understand why all this is happening to my mother...besides being so young,she is such a wonderful person.And i am not saying this because she is my mother,i am saying this,because everybody that has the chance to be with her,that had the chance to meet her and work with her,love her very much and miss her lot.
So...can anyone tell me what can i do to end this nightmare?

[big DB]

big DB...thank you so so much for your love and prayers...it means much more than words can say.Love you very much.HUGS


My friend Maria, lately I have been feeling a fraction of the pain you are feeling. My Granpa is seriously ill in hospital, he is in intensive care dangerously ill. He has a diseased section in his pancreous SP? and its causing an infection to spread through his body which is causing him a lot of pain, he is under constant sedation with morphine and is being fed through a tube, however he has been making progress over the last few days.

Its been touch and go but he seems to be on the mend, once he is healthy he can have surgery to remove that part which is causing him to feel this pain and awfulness, so in these recent times I can really relate to just a little of the pain you are going through, i love you my friend and you are constantly in my prayers.


Dom x

[Silouette]

Oh my goodness. Maria, please know that I too will have you and
your family in my thoughts.

Dom, I'm so sorry about your grandpa. I'm wishing him well also.

Be strong you guys and take care.
:(

[Mariajoaosilva]

Silouette...thank you so so much for your prayers and support.

I just need to find a way to be strong and deal with what is about to come.Only problem is,i have no idea how.

big DB...HUGS.Please know that i am here for you my friend.Please let me know how your Grandpa and you are doing,ok?Be sure you and your family are from now on,in my prayers.

[Silouette]

You're welcome dear.
You will find your strength and your anwers in our Creator.
I dont know what else to say. I feel so bad for you and for Dom.

[LindaC781]

And what i feared happened...

The results of my mother's exams show a quiste in her kidney! she will have to do a biopsy as soon as possible to find out if it's benin or not.
As if this was not enough,it was also found a spot in her genitals,which is driving the doctors crazy,because my mom had a complete hysteretomy more than 20 years ago.
I will go with her to my family doctor during this week hopefuly,and i guess she will need more exams.
The problem is that my mother will be operated in 11 days,she is very nervous,and having lots of troubles to sleep,despite the 3 sleeping pills she is having.
I have no idea how to handle all this.I'm at my limit and i'm so scared...I just wish i could understand why all this is happening to my mother...besides being so young,she is such a wonderful person.And i am not saying this because she is my mother,i am saying this,because everybody that has the chance to be with her,that had the chance to meet her and work with her,love her very much and miss her lot.
So...can anyone tell me what can i do to end this nightmare?

MariaJo....I am here for you. They found a cyst on her kidneys? I am keeping your mother in my prayers. Every day. Please keep us posted okay? And if you can, do you have access to a library that has relaxation tapes in it? Maybe you could get one for not only her but you too. You can go through the relaxation exercises together. If not, here is a website you can go to - http://wso.williams.edu/orgs/peerh/stress/relax.html

Do you have any Reiki Masters in your country? Reiki is an ancient art of healing by touch....http://www.reiki.org/faq/WhatIsReiki.html

[Mariajoaosilva]

LindaC781...thank you so much for your love and support.
I've never heard of these relaxation tapes, and i doubt it will help my mother because everything related with those kind of exercices to relax,makes my mother feel worst.Doctor says it is due to her tyroid problem.
But i saved te links you mention,and i will for sure try.
As for the Reiki Masters,i have no idea what it is or if we have it here.i will try to find out.
Again i saved the link you gave me and i will try to find time to read about it.Thank you for everything.

Silouette...you are very kind...I worry and pray from Dom too.thank you

[LindaC781]

LindaC781...thank you so much for your love and support.
I've never heard of these relaxation tapes, and i doubt it will help my mother because everything related with those kind of exercices to relax,makes my mother feel worst.Doctor says it is due to her tyroid problem.
But i saved te links you mention,and i will for sure try.
As for the Reiki Masters,i have no idea what it is or if we have it here.i will try to find out.
Again i saved the link you gave me and i will try to find time to read about it.Thank you for everything.

Silouette...you are very kind...I worry and pray from Dom too.thank you

MariaJoSilva - I know, this must be a very scary time for you. But you need to be strong for your Mom. Help her to relax, just to get some needed rest before her operation. Try not to think of too many things that *may* happen in the future...think about one thing at a time right now. To think about anything more than that will be overwhelming for you and stressful.

Remember, you are not going through this time in your life alone - we are all here for you. Believe me.

[Carol]

...........................My heart and thoughts are with you both,Maria,Mother and Dom!!!:yes::better:

[Mariajoaosilva]

Carol...thankyou so so much for all the prayers and support.

Just the idea that next thrursday can be the end of everything....

My mother will have her biopsy next thursday,29th,and if all goes well,she will be operated on friday 30th.

I was never so scared in my life...if only i could do something to make her feel better...

[cass]

Hey now Maria... Let's hope the biopsy will show no cancer and that the surgery will go great.. I know it's hard to stay positive.. I know it's a struggle.. but you have to stay positive... We are right here with you.. Keep us updated.. U are both in my thoughts and prayers.. always.. xxx

[MJstarlight]

praying for you and your mom

[Mariajoaosilva]

Cass,Linda,and all of you:
I can't thank you so enough for your love and support.
Unfortunately,i am with other problem now,that i hope it will be solved tomorrow,wednesday.My computer got a virus that destroyed the windows system,and right now a friend of mine is downloading windows to see if tomorrow she can go to my home and help me having a computer that right now i miss it a lot,because of my mother's surgery and biopsy that is coming so fast...
I will do my best to update you on everything.
Thank you so so much.
God bless you all

[Mariajoaosilva]

First of all i must say that i stilldon't have my computer working.
If i can be here now,it's because of a an amazing friend i have,that some of you know her,named Ana,also known as Emyrean Dancer,that is letting me have her portatible for the weekend,while she is also fixing my computer.
Ok...What happened today and the past days...As you can imagine,my mother was,is,very scared and anxious and becuse of it,she has been having more trouble to sleep.
Today we went to the hospital early in the morning,and she made her biopsy,in the middle of the afternoon.Depending on how she spends the night,howhe blood pressure will be during this night and tomorrow morning,doctors decide if she makes her eye surgery or not.
When i left her,at almost 9pm,she was sleepy.Nurse said that because of my mother's aneurism,they had to take extra cautions,so being sleepy is a good sign.
All i know for now is that the doctor says that the biopsy went well,and that next week we can have the results.
Now i just pray that the eye surgery can be done.But all i want is what is better to my mother,so if she can't have the eye surgery tomorrow,i don't mind.I prefer to wait and be sure that she is well.
I will keep you updated when i can.
Thank you all so so much for everything.
I'm living the worst nightmare of my life,and without all of you,i uld have gone crazy for a long time now.
God Bless all of you and your hearts.You are the best friends and family someone can ask

[LindaC781]

First of all i must say that i stilldon't have my computer working.
If i can be here now,it's because of a an amazing friend i have,that some of you know her,named Ana,also known as Emyrean Dancer,that is letting me have her portatible for the weekend,while she is also fixing my computer.
Ok...What happened today and the past days...As you can imagine,my mother was,is,very scared and anxious and becuse of it,she has been having more trouble to sleep.
Today we went to the hospital early in the morning,and she made her biopsy,in the middle of the afternoon.Depending on how she spends the night,howhe blood pressure will be during this night and tomorrow morning,doctors decide if she makes her eye surgery or not.
When i left her,at almost 9pm,she was sleepy.Nurse said that because of my mother's aneurism,they had to take extra cautions,so being sleepy is a good sign.
All i know for now is that the doctor says that the biopsy went well,and that next week we can have the results.
Now i just pray that the eye surgery can be done.But all i want is what is better to my mother,so if she can't have the eye surgery tomorrow,i don't mind.I prefer to wait and be sure that she is well.
I will keep you updated when i can.
Thank you all so so much for everything.
I'm living the worst nightmare of my life,and without all of you,i uld have gone crazy for a long time now.
God Bless all of you and your hearts.You are the best friends and family someone can ask

Maria, the resolution to this problem is in a Higher Power now. You and your mom stay in our prayers...

[Mariajoaosilva]

Ok...And the thriller i'm living,goes on...
Today my mother was supposed to have her eye sugery...itwould all be decided according to how she would spend the night.Well...My mother was not operated.She was having very high blood pressure in the morning,and if they made a surgery,her aneurism could brust,and she would die.
All this is very well,and i thank the doctor for what he did..What i don´t like...i mean...what i can't understand,is why they sent her home,and recheduled a new appoitment for next monday,if they didn't do a hingto her eye,and when she maybe woud need extra help,is right now!!!
All those things that are happening,left my mother very nervous and anxious and me exausted.
I said the doctors that if something happening during night to my mother,that i would sue them.
If i was scared before,now i am even more because i have no idea how to take care o my mother at this point.
From the hospital all i heard was that they were sorry that they had to do this,but they needed my mom´s bed for a patient that is having a bad flue!!!
My country is going from crazy to nuts everyday.I tell you this,i something happens to my mother tll next monday,the hospital will not like what will do.I had enough.If they don't know what to do or sy,then they better stop and shut up because my mother is not a toy they use to make experiences!
Please excuse me for my language.But i am vey very tired,and most of all,very mad with way my country is right now.
I always said that i was born here by mistake..And believe meit is so true!
When i more news,i wll let you know.
Thank you so so muh for all your patience with me,your love and prayers.If it wasn't all of you i have no idea how i would deal with all this!

[Mariajoaosilva]

Here i come again,to update on my mother's appoiment of today.

We had to be in the hospital very early in the morning.It's freezing cold here,and raining a lot lately.My mother had lots of difficulties to go this early,but because it was needed...so there we are in the hospital waiting for the doctor to see my mother,and he takes ages to call her.
We had a lot of questions on our mind.Lots of doubts that we wanted to see clear,but instead we ame out feeling more frustrated,and with th same questions and doubts.Why?Oh well...as crazy as this may seem,when the doctor called my mom,he said that the reason why she wa not having surgery,is because the anestesya they would have to give her,is very strong,so she could die during surgery.
And now i ask...If the doctor knew from the very begining what was the biggest health problem she has,why on earh did he say that he wanted to make this surgery,before her appoitment to do the Angiography??
My mother is very tired and feeling like she is a uselless case,thanks to them!
Cause my mother was not feling feel during aftenoon with headhackes,i had to call my family doctor,and ask her to come here,(almost right after she left my home,cause she came here to pay her a visit).Bless the heart of my family doctor that is an amazing person!It seems that her headhacke,was caused by her nervous system,so my doctor was able to take care of my mother and make her feel better.
But our major problem is that my mom's next appoitment is only in April!!What am i supposed to do in the meantime?
I'm not a doctor!
Can anyone tell me how am i supposed to deal with this?
what should i do?think or feel?It's that right now i have no idea what to think or how to feel with all this anymore.
Thank you all so much for all your love,prayersband support.They mean a lot more than i can describe.

[sweet princess]

awwwwwww, I'm sorry Maria. I do hope that thing get better for you and your family.
We love you. :flowers:

[LindaC781]

MariaJo.....your doctors are there for you...however, if you see something that requires urgent attention, by all means - call them and insist on an appointment.

Here is a relaxation video I found on Youtube. I hope this helps with the anxiety you guys are having...
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[Janey]

Im so sorry that this nightmare doesn't seem to be getting better for you or your mother. You are being so brave and strong but you must be so tired right now. Your mother is so luck to have you there to give her the support she needs, but you must be careful and remember to look after yourself because if you become ill you wont be able to support your mother. If you are finding it hard to cope or understand your mothers treatment speak to your family doctor and ask for some help with housework etc and also what is happening with your mothers care, what are they hoping to do next etc.
I wish you well and you and your mother are both in my prayers. Take care Maria xx

[Mariajoaosilva]

sweet princess...thank you so much for your love and care.HUGS

LindaC781...yes i am under a lot of anxiety...thank you for the video.
Oh be sure i will call the doctors if i think my mother is not well.
She is recovering from a kidney biopsy,so if i notice something different,i will call my family doctor.

Janey...Thank you so much for your kind words.I do all i can for my mother because i loveher more than words can say.I would do anything to save her.I'm already taking care of me somehow.I have an amazing family doctor that is always check on me,and i truly think that if it wasn't her constant help and support,i would be worst than i am,and my mother could be death by now.
Again i want to thank you for your kind words and prayers.It means a lot to me.

[Mariajoaosilva]

Latest news;

My mom's biopsy result,comes next friday.

I just pray that she dosen't have anything....I really can't imaging she having cancer. She has so much already! This is exactly what she dosen't needs.

[sweet princess]

sweet princess...thank you so much for your love and care.HUGS



You are very welcome. :flowers:

[big DB]

maria you are such a great friend to me, and I pray for you and your family everyday! stay strong and thank you for all your kindness and support to me! you are beyond a good friend to me!

[cass]

Latest news;

My mom's biopsy result,comes next friday.

I just pray that she dosen't have anything....I really can't imaging she having cancer. She has so much already! This is exactly what she dosen't needs.


Let us know asap, Maria. I hope to God the news is good and I pray it will!

[LindaC781]

sweet princess...thank you so much for your love and care.HUGS

LindaC781...yes i am under a lot of anxiety...thank you for the video.
Oh be sure i will call the doctors if i think my mother is not well.
She is recovering from a kidney biopsy,so if i notice something different,i will call my family doctor.

Janey...Thank you so much for your kind words.I do all i can for my mother because i loveher more than words can say.I would do anything to save her.I'm already taking care of me somehow.I have an amazing family doctor that is always check on me,and i truly think that if it wasn't her constant help and support,i would be worst than i am,and my mother could be death by now.
Again i want to thank you for your kind words and prayers.It means a lot to me.

MariaJo - no need to thank me. I understand. I'd be exactly the same way if it were my Mom. Take care. And know we are all here for you...

[Mariajoaosilva]

Thank you Dom,
thank you Cass,
Thank you Linda,
Thank you so so much to all of you that are helping me in the worst time of my life
.I have no idea how i would make it,if it wasn't for all of you.
Just want to tell you all,that God listen to all of us because the result of the biopsy was that my mother dosen't have cancer!
What a relief i feel!
Doctors can't say why she keeps having infections,but it is wonderful that it's not cancer.
Thank you all so so much!

[Mariajoaosilva]

Next tuesday i will go to the hospital to talk to my mom's neurocirgeon,to see what it can be done as soon as possible because my mother feels that waiting till April can be too late.

She is loosing her vision and gets very very tired doing whatever and walking.

My mom says that she is slowly dying...i pray she is wrong...but when i see her like this...I really don't know...

[sweet princess]

Hang in there Maria, don't give up just yet, We all love you.:flowers:

[LindaC781]

Thank you Dom,
thank you Cass,
Thank you Linda,
Thank you so so much to all of you that are helping me in the worst time of my life
.I have no idea how i would make it,if it wasn't for all of you.
Just want to tell you all,that God listen to all of us because the result of the biopsy was that my mother dosen't have cancer!
What a relief i feel!
Doctors can't say why she keeps having infections,but it is wonderful that it's not cancer.
Thank you all so so much!

OMG MariaJo!! That's wonderful!! Now you need to start practicing some relaxation techniques. They will help you remain strong for your mom - believe me!! They work!

[cass]

Thank God. Wonderful news, Maria. I'm so relieved that she does not have cancer. I understand though that your Mom is still a very sick lady though and has a long road ahead of her. Just know I am here for you every step of the way. Hopefully something will be done for your Mom soon and she will start her journey to recovery.

[Mariajoaosilva]

LindaC781..I do beliee in you more than you think.
What i do know that helps,is having friends like you.That is something that it means a lot to me and that i want to keep it forever.



cass...My dear cass how i love you so!I'm relieved that my mother does not have cancer,but as you say,she is a very sick person.
I wish i could have hope that my mother could recover,but doctors want me to have my eyes open and acept the reality.
My mom can die from a moment to another,or she can die slowly(as it seems to be happening).
I want you to know taht i am here for you as well.Thank you so so much for everything.HUGS

[sweet princess]

^^you are very welcome, dear. :flowers:

[Carol]

Thank you Dom,
thank you Cass,
Thank you Linda,
Thank you so so much to all of you that are helping me in the worst time of my life
.I have no idea how i would make it,if it wasn't for all of you.
Just want to tell you all,that God listen to all of us because the result of the biopsy was that my mother dosen't have cancer!
What a relief i feel!
Doctors can't say why she keeps having infections,but it is wonderful that it's not cancer.
Thank you all so so much!

..............Awwwwwwwwww,thats great news!!!!!:D:yes::D
Such a' relief to hear!:D:yes::D

[Mariajoaosilva]

I can't thank you all enough for all the love,support and prayers...

You truly are the best friends someone can have.

Just want to tell you all that today i went to see my mom's neurocergeon and she thinks that it is best to wait till april.
The reason why,is because she wants to make another embolization to her brain,and the best time to do it,is when my mother is about to make 3 years that she had her aneurism brusted.If all goes as she wants,my mother's embolization will be sometime in june.
But because my mother keeps saying that she dosen't feel well,that she is seeing worst,i'm going to talk to my family doctor tomorrow and make an appoitment to see if she can do something.
Anyways...in my name and my mother's name,i really want to thank all of you,from the bottom of my heart.

[LindaC781]

MariaJo, I bet your mother thanks her lucky stars to have such a daughter...hang in there...we are all praying for you and your Mom.

[sweet princess]

WE LOVE YOU, MARIA. :flowers:

[Mariajoaosilva]

LindaC781...I'm the lucky one.I'm the lucky one for having friends like you.Thank you so so much for all your prayers.

sweet princess...i love you and everybody here.:flowers:

[sweet princess]

I love U more. Please keep us updated. :flowers:

[Carol]

.....................You both are very welcome!:D:yes::D

[Mariajoaosilva]

Thank you all so so much for everything.

I was finally able to schedule an appoitment on my family doctor.

It will be next week after carnival.

[sweet princess]

^^ That's great, please update us when you can. :flowers:

[Raiden]

I'M SURE that your mother will be fine, Maria:)

[LindaC781]

Thank you all so so much for everything.

I was finally able to schedule an appoitment on my family doctor.

It will be next week after carnival.

Hey Maria...keep us posted about her ok? I am so glad you got this important appointment. We'll keep you in our thoughts and prayers....and remember, you are not alone going through this. We're all here for ya!

[Mariajoaosilva]

LindaC781,and others,i can't thank you enough for your support.

Tomorrow (monday,23rd) my mother turns 65.

Cause is best for her health not to have a big party with lots of people,i am making a small one,for the ones she loves the most.
I hope she will be well,as lately she has been feeling so tired!...
I am making everything she loves...just hope everything will be perfect.

i will tell you all how everything was.
Again,thank you all so so much for your love,prayers and support.

[movingcoolcat]

Hi Maria,
I have not been so active in the forum for a while due to studies and work. But when I read your story I just had to send you all my best wishes for you and your mother.
I know a lot about how you must feel, as I have experienced something similar with a loved one. Please try to take care also of yourself, and accept as mutch help as you can get from people around you. And when you have some time to relax, try to realy relax, and be nice to yourself. I know its difficult to do, but its so true that if you do not take care, you will also end up with having no energy to give to your mother.
All the best to you Maria, and take care.

[Mariajoaosilva]

Hi Maria,
I have not been so active in the forum for a while due to studies and work. But when I read your story I just had to send you all my best wishes for you and your mother.
I know a lot about how you must feel, as I have experienced something similar with a loved one. Please try to take care also of yourself, and accept as mutch help as you can get from people around you. And when you have some time to relax, try to realy relax, and be nice to yourself. I know its difficult to do, but its so true that if you do not take care, you will also end up with having no energy to give to your mother.
All the best to you Maria, and take care.

movingcoolcat...thank you so much for your words.Everything you say it's so true...i'm doing all i can to take care of me.My having multivitamines and medicins for depression and anxiety,because last year in april,i ended up in the emergency,cause i couldn't breathe.i was having very low values of oxigen,and other things that were being caused by the life i live since this happen to my mother.Today i feel very tired,as i always do,but i guess that all the medicins i am taking,are helping me not to breakdown.
But you know what?i don't mind doing all i do.My mother is the person i love the most in this world.

[Mariajoaosilva]

And as most of you know,yestyerday was (in my country it is the 24th now) my mother's 65th birthday.
She was very aware of things almost all day long.I don't rememeber the last time she was like that,to be honest.

Her day was very full...i took her outside and we had snack together in the afternoon,and for dinner the house was with all of us.(me,my brothers,the girfriend of my middle brother,and my dad).
everything was going well,untill my dad starts to fight for everything and nothing at the same time.

My mother that had been well all day,strated to be depressed and to make sure she would have piece,i was forced to say to my dad that he should go cause mummy was not well.

Right now is relaxing in the living room,seeing doctor house that we love,and waiting to take her medicins to go to bed.
She thanked me for all i did, becausein her words,"if it wasn't me,shouldn't have a birthday day at all".
I'm very very tired as you all can imagine.But i feel well and happy,because i know that i did all i could to make my mom's day,a happy one.

Now i only have to wait to wednesday or friday,for my mother's appoitment in our family doctor,and see what can be done to make my mother feel a bit better.

[Janey]

Im glad to hear that your Mother had a wonderful birthday with all her treasured family around her. You must be very tired, but also happy knowing she had a good day. I hope everything goes well at the next doctors appointment and that your mother receives some good news. Keep us updated. xx

[Mariajoaosilva]

Thank you janey...

I finally know when my mother'sappoitment is...it's tomorrow.Wednesday

[Mariajoaosilva]

So today i went with my mother to her appoitment in my family doctor...

I should be used by now...but anytime something like this happens,i feel frustrated.
The Big question that we wanted to find the answer,is still without an answer."why does all this happens?"

My mom made lots of tests and the only thing we found out,is that she has another urine infection.Why does my mother keeps having urine infeccions?wish i knew.
Also the blood pressure is very high and her heart is beating way to fast.
Next step is to go with my mother to make some blood tests and exams to her Tyroide,and her heart.

Once again i was hoping to find out what was going on with my mother,and why,and once again i have no answers.I'm so tired of all this...

[cass]

She maybe getting the bladder infections from her medication. What do they say about her blood count? Sorry, you didn't get any more answers Maria. I know how stressful and frustrating this is for you. Hope things get better soon. *hug*

[Mariajoaosilva]

((((((((((((Cass)))))))))))))))) i love you so my dear friend.

Yes you do know how stressfull this is.In June it makes 3 years that i am living in this non stop nightmare.

Would you believe me if i told you that never a doctor said a word about the possiblity that her infections are being cause by the medicins?If it wasn't you,i would'n have thought about it either.But the thing is that i am not doctor.Maybe i should have thought about it,but for sure the doctors should have.

Cass....what do you mean with the blood count?i don't know if i know what this dear...can you be mre clear please?

Tomorrow my mother is going to make some blood tests and schedule some exams.I just hope that this time doctors know what to do to help my mom.

[sweet princess]

^^Hang in there Maria, love you.:flowers:

[LindaC781]

So today i went with my mother to her appoitment in my family doctor...

I should be used by now...but anytime something like this happens,i feel frustrated.
The Big question that we wanted to find the answer,is still without an answer."why does all this happens?"

My mom made lots of tests and the only thing we found out,is that she has another urine infection.Why does my mother keeps having urine infeccions?wish i knew.
Also the blood pressure is very high and her heart is beating way to fast.
Next step is to go with my mother to make some blood tests and exams to her Tyroide,and her heart.

Once again i was hoping to find out what was going on with my mother,and why,and once again i have no answers.I'm so tired of all this...

Hi Maria...I feel so bad for you!! Take care. Does your mom have diabetes? Can you list all of your mom's health diagnoses here? If not, you can pm me...I'd like to know...

From: http://www.diabetesmonitor.com/b128.htm#causes

UTI = Urinary Tract Infection

What are the causes of UTI?

Normal urine is sterile. It contains fluids, salts, and waste products, but it is free of bacteria, viruses, and fungi. An infection occurs when microorganisms, usually bacteria from the digestive tract, cling to the opening of the urethra and begin to multiply. Most infections arise from one type of bacteria, Escherichia coli (E. coli), which normally lives in the colon.

In most cases, bacteria first begin growing in the urethra. An infection limited to the urethra is called urethritis. From there bacteria often move on to the bladder, causing a bladder infection (cystitis). If the infection is not treated promptly, bacteria may then go up the ureters to infect the kidneys (pyelonephritis).

Microorganisms called Chlamydia and Mycoplasma may also cause UTIs in both men and women, but these infections tend to remain limited to the urethra and reproductive system. Unlike E. coli, Chlamydia and Mycoplasma may be sexually transmitted, and infections require treatment of both partners.

The urinary system is structured in a way that helps ward off infection. The ureters and bladder normally prevent urine from backing up toward the kidneys, and the flow of urine from the bladder helps wash bacteria out of the body. In men, the prostate gland produces secretions that slow bacterial growth. In both sexes, immune defenses also prevent infection. But despite these safeguards, infections still occur.

[Raiden]

I wish your mother all the best!! **hugs**

[Mariajoaosilva]

LindaC781...Thank you so much for writting about UTI.It helped me understand a bit of what is going with my mother.

Yes i can tell you my mom's health diagnose.Thank God she dosen't have diabetes.But she has high colestrol.
My mom was always a person with a weak health.
When she was only 4 years old,she was dying with a cyst in her lungs.
When she got married,she had 2 spontaneos aborts and a son that was born death.
Because of this,me and my brothers were born by c-section.
When she was near 40,a dentist broke bone that we have in our mouth that connects the hears to the eyes.
At 42,she found out she had cancer in her uter,and because of it,she made an hysteretomy.Because noone gave her any medicin to replace the forced menopasuse,she got osteoporose.And it is in the red level(the very dangerous one).
Due to very weak bones,my mom had lots of wrist problems,that were only solved with surgery.
She also has very high blood presure,and for some reason that i wish i could understand,no matter the tests and treatments she makes,it is impossible to controle them.
She has problem sleeping.In fact lately my mom is only sleeping in the morning and spends all night in bed awake.
As if all this wasn't enough,on june 23rd 2006,we found out that she has a brain aneurism,because it brusted.
I listed what i can remember,and what i think it is important.If i remember anything elses i will let you know.
Thank you again for everything.

[Mariajoaosilva]

I wish your mother all the best!! **hugs**


Thank you so much.hugs

[LindaC781]

LindaC781...Thank you so much for writting about UTI.It helped me understand a bit of what is going with my mother.

Yes i can tell you my mom's health diagnose.Thank God she dosen't have diabetes.But she has high colestrol.
My mom was always a person with a weak health.
When she was only 4 years old,she was dying with a cyst in her lungs.
When she got married,she had 2 spontaneos aborts and a son that was born death.
Because of this,me and my brothers were born by c-section.
When she was near 40,a dentist broke bone that we have in our mouth that connects the hears to the eyes.
At 42,she found out she had cancer in her uter,and because of it,she made an hysteretomy.Because noone gave her any medicin to replace the forced menopasuse,she got osteoporose.And it is in the red level(the very dangerous one).
Due to very weak bones,my mom had lots of wrist problems,that were only solved with surgery.
She also has very high blood presure,and for some reason that i wish i could understand,no matter the tests and treatments she makes,it is impossible to controle them.
She has problem sleeping.In fact lately my mom is only sleeping in the morning and spends all night in bed awake.
As if all this wasn't enough,on june 23rd 2006,we found out that she has a brain aneurism,because it brusted.
I listed what i can remember,and what i think it is important.If i remember anything elses i will let you know.
Thank you again for everything.

Hi again Maria...

Here is something about hypertension...

From: http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=2114
http://www.americanheart.org/images/interface/spacer.gif
<!--alert is empty --> <!-- begin content area include--> <!-- Addition by Salman Qureshi - McFadyen Consulting --> High Blood Pressure
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</td> <td class="content">http://www.americanheart.org/images/interface/spacer.gif</td> </tr> </tbody> </table> According to recent estimates, about one in three U.S. adults has high blood pressure, but because there are no symptoms, nearly one-third of these people don't know they have it. In fact, many people have high blood pressure for years without knowing it. Uncontrolled high blood pressure can lead to stroke, heart attack, heart failure or kidney failure. This is why high blood pressure is often called the "silent killer." The only way to tell if you have high blood pressure is to have your blood pressure checked.

Get the facts on high blood pressure and how to live a heart-healthier life. Find out how you can reduce your risks for heart attack and stroke with proper monitoring by a healthcare provider and simple lifestyle changes, even if you have high blood pressure.
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According to my training, a person can have "essential hypertension"...the cause is unknown.

Here is a blurb about that...

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/hypertension.htm

<table width="470" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td class="grid-pagetitle-head-norm" valign="bottom" width="470">High blood pressure (hypertension)http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/system/s.gif</td> </tr> <tr> <td>http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/system/s.gif</td> </tr> <tr> <td>http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/system/s.gif</td> </tr> </tbody> </table> <table width="470" border="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr> <td valign="top"> Reviewed by Neal Uren (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/whoisnd.htm), consultant cardiologist and Dr Dan Rutherford (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/whoisnd.htm)


</td> </tr> <tr> <td valign="top"> <table width="180" align="right" border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td>http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/system/s.gif</td><td> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td align="right">http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/images/pdb__602163000_bloodpress_pdp040060.gif</td> </tr> <tr> <td class="tableCaption"> Every adult over 40 should get their blood pressure checked.</td> </tr> <tr> <td>http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/system/s.gif</td> </tr> </tbody> </table> </td> </tr> </tbody> </table> The heart is a pump designed to force blood through our body. Blood is pumped from the heart through the arteries out to our muscles and organs.

Pumps work by generating pressure. Put simply, too much pressure puts a strain on the arteries and on the heart itself. This can cause an artery to rupture or the heart to fail under the strain - in the worst case stopping altogether.

Blood pressure depends on a combination of two factors:



how forcefully the heart pumps blood around the body


how narrowed or relaxed your arteries are.



Hypertension occurs when blood is forced through the arteries at an increased pressure.

Around 10 million people in the UK have high blood pressure - that's one in five of us.

What is normal blood pressure?

Blood pressure is measured (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/health_advice/examinations/measuringbloodpressure.htm) using two numbers. An example of this could be 'the blood pressure is 120 over 80', which is written as '120/80mmHg'.



The first figure is the systolic blood pressure - the maximum pressure in the arteries when the heart contracts (beats) and pushes blood out into the body.


The second figure is the diastolic blood pressure. This is the minimum pressure in the arteries between beats when the heart relaxes to fill with blood.



Because the height of a mercury column is used in blood pressure gauges, standard blood pressure readings are always written as so many ‘millimetres of mercury’, which is abbreviated to ‘mmHg’.

The systolic pressure is always listed first, then the diastolic pressure. A typical normal blood pressure reading would be 120/80 mmHg.

What's classed as high?

There is a natural tendency for blood pressure to rise with age due to the reduced elasticity of the arterial system. Age is therefore one of the factors that needs to be taken into account in deciding whether a person's blood pressure is too high.

In general terms, people with a systolic blood pressure consistently above 160mmHg and/or a diastolic pressure over 100mmHg need treatment to lower their blood pressure.

People with slightly lower blood pressures (140-159mmHg systolic or 90-99mmHg diastolic) may also need treatment if they have a high risk of developing cardiovascular disease, eg stroke or angina (chest pains).

What are the symptoms?

One of the big problems with high blood pressure is that it hardly ever causes symptoms.

This means it may go unnoticed until it causes one of its later complications such as a stroke or heart attack.

Despite the popularity of such ideas, nosebleeds and ruddy complexions are hardly ever caused by high blood pressure.

Severe hypertension can cause symptoms such as:



headache


sleepiness


confusion


coma.



What complications are caused by high blood pressure?



Atherosclerosis (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/atherosclerosis.htm): narrowing of the arteries.


Stroke (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/stroke.htm): haemorrhage or blood clot in the brain.


Aneurysm: dangerous expansion of the main artery either in the chest or the abdomen, which becomes weakened and may rupture.


Heart attack (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/coronarythrombosis.htm).


Heart failure (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/heartfailure.htm): reduced pumping ability.


Kidney failure (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/kidneyfailure.htm).


Eye damage.



What causes hypertension?

For more than 90 per cent of people with high blood pressure, the cause is unknown. This is called 'primary' or 'essential hypertension'.

In the remaining 10 per cent or so, there is an underlying cause. This is called 'secondary hypertension'.

Some of the main causes for secondary hypertension are:



chronic kidney diseases


diseases in the arteries supplying the kidneys


chronic alcohol abuse (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/health_advice/facts/alcoholism.htm)


hormonal disturbances


endocrine tumours.



What factors increase the risk of hypertension?

Anyone can suffer from high blood pressure, but certain factors can seriously aggravate hypertension and increase the risk of complications:



a tendency in the family to suffer hypertension


obesity (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/hearthealth/obesity.htm)


smoking (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/health_advice/facts/smokehealth.htm)


diabetes Type 1 (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/diabetesinsulindependent.htm) or Type 2 (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/diabetesnoninsulindependent.htm)


kidney diseases


high alcohol intake (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/alcoholanddrugs/alcohol_toomuch.htm)


excessive salt intake


lack of exercise


certain medicines, such as steroids (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/effect/hormones.shtml).



What can I do?

Every adult near or past middle age should ‘know their numbers’- ie your height, weight, blood pressure and cholesterol levels.

You should also have regular blood pressure tests if there is a family tendency for hypertension. This way, treatment can be started before any complications arise.

Change your lifestyle:



stop smoking (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/health_advice/facts/smokequit.htm)


lose weight


exercise regularly


cut down on alcohol


eat a varied diet


reduce stress by trying different relaxation techniques, or by avoiding stressful situations (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/stressbustingtechniques.htm).



These changes will lower blood pressure - to reduce your risk of developing the condition in the first place or to treat hypertension.

If your blood pressure requires medical treatment, you will probably have to take medicine on a regular basis.

If so, never stop taking it without consulting your GP, even if you feel fine. Hypertension can lead to serious complications if left untreated.

What can your doctor do?



Pinpoint risk factors and help you change your lifestyle to reduce blood pressure.


Offer medication (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/effect/heart.shtml) for the reduction of blood pressure and arrange regular monitoring. Sometimes blood pressure control is not straightforward. Many people require more than one drug on a regular basis to get their blood pressure under good control.


Your GP may wish to seek the advice of an expert in hypertension if your blood pressure seems particularly difficult to control.



What are the treatment targets?

Diabetes considerably increases the risk of cardiovascular disease if hypertension is also present, so the targets for blood pressure control in diabetes are tighter.

For people who don't have diabetes, the treatment goals for blood pressure for are:



systolic pressure of less than 140mmHg


diastolic pressure of less than 85mmHg.



For people with diabetes, the goals are:



systolic pressure of less than 130mmHg


diastolic pressure of less than 80mmHg.



Which medicines are used to treat hypertension?



ACE inhibitors stop the production of a hormone called angiotensin II that makes the blood vessels narrow. As a result, the vessels expand, improving blood flow. Tension in the circulation is also lowered by the kidneys filtering more fluid from the blood vessels into urine. This also helps reduce blood pressure. If your blood pressure is not easily controlled on simple medication, your doctor will probably use a medicine of this type.


Angiotensin-II receptor antagonists work in a similar way to ACE inhibitors. But instead of stopping the production of angiotensin II, they block its action. This allows the blood vessels to expand, improving blood flow and reducing blood pressure.


Beta-blockers block the effect of the hormone adrenaline and the sympathetic nervous system on the body. This relaxes the heart so that it beats more slowly, lowering the blood pressure.


Alpha-blockers cause the blood vessels to relax and widen. Combining them with beta-blockers has a greater effect on the resistance in the circulation.


Calcium-channel blockers reduce muscle tension in the arteries, expanding them and creating more room for the blood flow. In addition, they slightly relax the heart muscle so it beats more slowly, reducing blood pressure.


Diuretics help the body get rid of excess salt and fluids via the kidneys. In certain cases, they relax blood vessels, reducing the strain on your circulation.



The following medicines are used less frequently.



Indapamide (eg Natrilix) (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/100001798.html) is a mildly diuretic preparation that also relaxes the peripheral arteries.


Hydralazine (eg Apresoline) (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/100000153.html) relaxes the vascular walls in the peripheral arteries thereby reducing the blood pressure.


Methyldopa (eg Aldomet) (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/100000060.html) stimulates the alpha receptors in the brain that relax the blood vessels, causing the blood pressure to drop.


Moxonidine (eg Physiotens) (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/100002074.html) is another medicine that acts on receptors in the involuntary part of the brain, causing blood pressure to decrease.


Minoxidil (Loniten) (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/100001538.html) relaxes the small arteries so that blood pressure drops. It must be used in combination with other hypertension medicines.



In the long term

By treating hypertension well, complications can be avoided and average life expectancy will remain almost normal.

Without treatment, life expectancy may well be reduced due to the risk of developing complications such as heart failure or stroke. </td></tr></tbody></table>

[Mariajoaosilva]

Linda...thank you so much for all the infornation you gave me.i had no idea of what can cause high blood pressure at all,and also,i had no idea what that meant at all.

My mom has blood pressure for years now.The big problem is that she is on lots of medicins that somehow make the systolic blood pressure more down,but the diastolic blood pressure,stays very high,and because they get very near eachother my mom feels very dizy.
I have no idea if you know those medicins,but my mother is taking Aspirine and a lootanplus 12.5 at breakfast,aldactone and lasix at lunch,and nebilet before diner.
She just made blood tests and next friday i will go with her to my family doctor,to see what can be done.
I'll let you know what my doctor said when i return home.
Again thank you so so much for all the information.I am going to print it,to read whenever i need to know something.

[sweet princess]

Thanks for the update Maria.

Love you. :flowers:

[LindaC781]

Linda...thank you so much for all the infornation you gave me.i had no idea of what can cause high blood pressure at all,and also,i had no idea what that meant at all.

My mom has blood pressure for years now.The big problem is that she is on lots of medicins that somehow make the systolic blood pressure more down,but the diastolic blood pressure,stays very high,and because they get very near eachother my mom feels very dizy.
I have no idea if you know those medicins,but my mother is taking Aspirine and a lootanplus 12.5 at breakfast,aldactone and lasix at lunch,and nebilet before diner.
She just made blood tests and next friday i will go with her to my family doctor,to see what can be done.
I'll let you know what my doctor said when i return home.
Again thank you so so much for all the information.I am going to print it,to read whenever i need to know something.

Maria, another 2 things you need to know.

Systole - related to the systolic pressure - is the contraction phase of the heart. It is the amount of force required to pump out blood.

Diastole - is the heart at rest. So, your mom has more diastolic pressure, which means that there is some cardiac heart failure going on...

[LindaC781]

Linda...thank you so much for all the infornation you gave me.i had no idea of what can cause high blood pressure at all,and also,i had no idea what that meant at all.

My mom has blood pressure for years now.The big problem is that she is on lots of medicins that somehow make the systolic blood pressure more down,but the diastolic blood pressure,stays very high,and because they get very near eachother my mom feels very dizy.
I have no idea if you know those medicins,but my mother is taking Aspirine and a lootanplus 12.5 at breakfast,aldactone and lasix at lunch,and nebilet before diner.
She just made blood tests and next friday i will go with her to my family doctor,to see what can be done.
I'll let you know what my doctor said when i return home.
Again thank you so so much for all the information.I am going to print it,to read whenever i need to know something.

Maria, another 2 things you need to know.

Systole - related to the systolic pressure - is the contraction phase of the heart. It is the amount of force required to pump out blood.

Diastole - is the heart at rest. So, your mom has more diastolic pressure, which means that there is some cardiac heart failure going on...

Sorry for bogging you down with this stuff - but this helps me to understand and study for my exams along with my being naturally interested in this stuff...

http://ezinearticles.com/?Diastolic-High-Blood-Pressure-Taken-Seriously&id=562957
For blood pressure patients who wonder what those numbers mean when getting BPs, here is an explanation. Two figures are observed when taking blood pressures (e.g. 140/90). 140 stands for systolic pressure, 90 is the diastolic pressure. A normal systolic pressure should not exceed 140, and a normal diastolic pressure is no more than 90. An increase in both pressures can mean disaster.
Systolic hypertension is different from diastolic high blood pressure. The former is characterized by sudden augmentation in the pressure of blood when the heart is contracting.
Diastolic high blood pressure on the other hand refers to the blood pressure in between muscle contractions. Doctors and medical experts have stated that diastolic high blood pressure should be taken seriously and that it causes more harm to the body than systolic does. In recent studies, persons below 65 or 70 who are diagnosed with hypertension reported increase incidents of diastolic high blood pressure. This higher rate of diastolic pressure causes adverse effects on the brain, heart and kidney. Patients of diastolic high blood pressure are advised to lower diastolic pressure by maintaining below 90. Systolic pressure is also required to be lowered though a top priority is focused on diastolic pressure.
Causes of diastolic high blood pressure include aging of the heart and its natural effects. When a person grows old his heart muscles get weary and eventually stiffen making it harder for the heart to fill in blood appropriately. Diastolic high blood pressure, if not treated well, may lead to diastolic heart failure. Diagnosis of diastolic high blood pressure may risk the patient of diseases and illnesses like CAD or coronary heart disease, aortic stenosis, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, and other pericardial diseases.
Aside from aging, poor lifestyle like smoking and drinking, high cholesterol levels, obesity, high salt consumption, prior cardiac surgery, viral infection, family history and diabetes are also leading contributors to the occurrence of diastolic high blood pressure.
For the last 30 years, studies have also been conducted and challenged the severity of diastolic high blood pressure. In the latest issue of Archives of Internal Medicine, reports have declared that there is a great urge to control systolic pressure than diastolic pressure in hypertension patients. Elaborately, diastolic high blood pressure exposes little risk of getting other cardiovascular disorders.
In special cases of hypertension, systolic hypertension is more common than diastolic high blood pressure among elder patients. Their blood vessels have degraded resulting in the increase in systolic pressure. Advise is given to patients with these condition to lower their systolic pressure and keep it.



Milos Pesic is an expert in the field of Hypertension and runs a highly popular and comprehensive Hypertension (http://hypertension.need-to-know.net/) web site. For more articles and resources on Hypertension related topics, pulmonary and arterial hypertension, high blood pressure symptoms and treatments, natural remedies and much more visit his site at:

[Mariajoaosilva]

Linda...you don't bogg me at all.It is always nice to learn and you are helping me a lot understanding what is going on withmy mother.If it can help you,.i am very glad to know it as i don't want to upset you with my problems or anyone at all.

Today my mom has been feeling very tired and sleepy and we had a long day so she is already in bed(since 9.15pm).She has some exams to make on the 23rd of this month.
Untill then,and if her right eye gets worst than it is,i will take my mother to the hospital.
Hope that she can sleep and rest a lot and feel better tomorrow.:(

[FinalEyes]

Maria, I'm keeping your mom in my thoughts. I hope she gets better soon.

[movingcoolcat]

Hi Marie, I just wanted to stop by and say that I keep you in my heart.
Take care, and remember that you can not solve everything, you can only do the best you can, and from what I see here- its the best anyone possibly could do.
Hugs!

[Mariajoaosilva]

FinalEyes...thank you so so much for your prayers and support.It means more than i can describe.HUGS

movingcoolcat...thank you for caring.Yes i try the best i can to help my mother because she is the person i love the most in this world.I know i can't solve everything or even make her healthier,but it really makes me feel sad and frustrated because if i could,i would change places with her.She used to be so active,so loved by everybody she worked with....
HUGS

[Mariajoaosilva]

My friends,i am really sorry to be disturbing,but if i don't say how i am feeling,i explode.

Since early morning my mom wake up with one eye red,and during all the afternoon it has been becoming more red.(right now here it's 10.05pm).
I tried several times to convince my mom to go to the hospital but she never heard me.
I mentioned i would talk to my family docotor,she said,she wouldn't do a thing doctor would say.
I asked my brother for help to convince her to go to the hospital,she said no,and my brother gave up.
Right now i am alone with my mother and i am scared to death of what it can happen during the night.
Her eye is very very red,seems a bit closed,but because it is sunday,and she is not in pain(so she says),she refuses to go to the hospital.
I am so scared something happens during the night.
She keeps saying that she will not do anything any doctor says,if i call for one.
I feel that i should force her to go to the hospital...but what if she gets too nervous and her aneurym bursts?i would never forgive myself for it
What would you,my friends,do in my place?
At this point i have no idea what to do!...
Thank you so much for your help

[movingcoolcat]

This is one of those difficult situations that comes when a person we love do something we know is not rational. You can not force her to go to hospital if she refuse to. Unless you think she is unable to make decisions, in witch case you need to act. But if you do, she may become angry, and upset. I don`t know how bad the situation with her eye is. Can you call someone that has any medical expertice? PM Linda on this forum?
A very simple soothing treatment for an irritated eye is a cold cloth over the eyes, that lessen the swelling. As well you can use chamomille tea ( boil tea and soak the cloth in it, and put it over her eyes). Maybe that can help a little bit?

But most of all I hope you try to tell yourself that even if you love your mother, even if you do all you can to help her- at some point you also have to remember that she is her own person. People that become ill sometimes end up becoming so angry and frustrated with their situation that they unleash their anger towards those that love them. That is not your foult, and not hers either. In some ways her reaction may be a way to feel some control, saying that she don`t want any doctors. In that case, maybe its best to let her have that reaction, and wait a bit and see what happens. Even if the worst thing is to sit still and do nothing.
I hope for the best:better:
Take care- but do remember that one person can not fix everything. And sometimes, we have to respect a persons wish even if we see that its not the best choice.

[cass]

Oh my goodness, what did you do?

[blue_eyed_belle]

This has me in tears each time i read this thread, but i thought i'd respond and say that you continue to be in my prayers. All my love xxxxxx

[silverfox]

Maria, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your mum.
You have been so strong. I hope you are getting the support you really need right now from the rest of your family. You can't deal with this alone,
I feel for you right now. I wish you all the best. xxx

[sweet princess]

My friends,i am really sorry to be disturbing,but if i don't say how i am feeling,i explode.

Since early morning my mom wake up with one eye red,and during all the afternoon it has been becoming more red.(right now here it's 10.05pm).
I tried several times to convince my mom to go to the hospital but she never heard me.
I mentioned i would talk to my family docotor,she said,she wouldn't do a thing doctor would say.
I asked my brother for help to convince her to go to the hospital,she said no,and my brother gave up.
Right now i am alone with my mother and i am scared to death of what it can happen during the night.
Her eye is very very red,seems a bit closed,but because it is sunday,and she is not in pain(so she says),she refuses to go to the hospital.
I am so scared something happens during the night.
She keeps saying that she will not do anything any doctor says,if i call for one.
I feel that i should force her to go to the hospital...but what if she gets too nervous and her aneurym bursts?i would never forgive myself for it
What would you,my friends,do in my place?
At this point i have no idea what to do!...
Thank you so much for your help

I can only say Maria, that you should wait to see that your mother's anger dies down first before you do anything, then you can go from there, I'm sorry that your mother feels that way. All I can do for you & your family is pray. I hope things will get better for all of you. :flowers:

[Mariajoaosilva]

movingcoolcat...Thank you so much for your post.Everything you say is so true!Unffortunately my mother is very stubborn,and like you say,i have to respect her wishes even if i don't agree with them.Scared as hell,that is what i am doing.

Cass,my dear friend,i called my family doctor without my mom knowing.I talked with her for a long time and she made me feel much better.She is a bless i have in my life.If it wasn't her,i don't know how i would be in a long time now.

blue_eyed_belle ,HUGS i never wanted to make anyone cry.I'm sorry to make you feel like that.Your post touched me way deep you know?Thank you so much for your prayers.it means a lot to me,as i know and feel that it is all the prayers from everybody here that are helping the most.

silverfox...The support i am having is from everybody here,from my family doctor,and a few friends near me.But i prefer the friends i have,than lots of people with me pretending to care.

Today her eye didn't seem as red as yesterday.Wish i could understand what is going on,but...Guess i must go on praying and having faith.
Thank you all so much for your care

[Mariajoaosilva]

I can only say Maria, that you should wait to see that your mother's anger dies down first before you do anything, then you can go from there, I'm sorry that your mother feels that way. All I can do for you & your family is pray. I hope things will get better for all of you. :flowers:

Thank you so much.It means a lot your support

[cass]

Love you too, Maria. Hang in there, girl. I'm glad you got to talk to your Mom's doctor yesterday and she was able to make you feel better. *hug*

[LindaC781]

Oh Maria. Please keep us posted here...I am glad your mom's eye isn't as red. I am also glad that you called the doctor - it helped you understand what is going on. My thoughts and prayers are always with you and your family.

[sweet princess]

Thank you so much.It means a lot your support
You are very welcome. :flowers:

[swirly]

My thoughts are with you :flowers:

[Scary13]

As you know countless times Maria, my prayers and thoughts are always there with you. I love you so much dear! **HUGS** Even though I am not here all the time, I am with you in spirit.

[Mariajoaosilva]

Thank you so much to all of you.It means way much more than i can say...
Today my mom is not well at all.She is in bed already.She says she is feeling very tired but she didn't do a thing.
I'm going to see if tomorrow i can convince her to go to the hospital.My brother will come here,and hopefully she will listen to him.

Rob my angel...I know that you are always with me.I love you so so much.HUGS

Linda..thank you so much for the love and care.

Cass...I just hope that all this is not making you sad.You went through so much not that long ago...HUGS

sweet princess..you are so sweet.:flowers:

swirly...thank you

[LindaC781]

Thank you so much to all of you.It means way much more than i can say...
Today my mom is not well at all.She is in bed already.She says she is feeling very tired but she didn't do a thing.
I'm going to see if tomorrow i can convince her to go to the hospital.My brother will come here,and hopefully she will listen to him.

Rob my angel...I know that you are always with me.I love you so so much.HUGS

Linda..thank you so much for the love and care.

Cass...I just hope that all this is not making you sad.You went through so much not that long ago...HUGS

sweet princess..you are so sweet.:flowers:

swirly...thank you

Maria, know that we all are here for you. Day and night. I am praying so hard for your mom. I'm going to leave you with this thought...

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c299/lilbigmutha/encouragement5-1.jpg

[Janey]

Dearest Maria, I wish I could say something that would make everything better for you but be assured my thoughts and prayers are constantly with you and your mother....I hope so much that she is soon feeling better. This has been so hard for you for such a long time, you have been so strong and very brave.
Huge HUGS to you Maria, take care a keep strong.
Lots of love to you and your mother, xxxx

[Mariajoaosilva]

LindaC781...what a lovely poem...and how wise!Thank you so so much for your care,love,thoughts,prayers and support.It means so much to have you in my life.HUGS


Janey...what a lovely post.Your words touched me so deep.I can't thank you enough.Lots of loveto you too in my name and in my mothers as well.HUGS

[sweet princess]

Hang in there, we love you . :flowers:

[Michaholic]

Maria, I'm so sorry to have missed this thread for such a long time. I guess I now know why I was drawn to check this part of the forum.

From personal experience, I can sympathize with you about what you're going through. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

I don't know how things in your life are going now, but I do pray that they are better and will get better. Your mother must be a good person and you're an awesome daughter for putting your life on hold. I wish there were more love like this in the world between children and their parents, butt here isn't, which makes your story all the more touching.

God Bless you both and I will be praying for you... You will get through this and so will she. Keep The Faith and never stop believing. If you need or want ANYthing at all, please message me, OK?

I love you.

Cassandra

[Mariajoaosilva]

Maria, I'm so sorry to have missed this thread for such a long time. I guess I now know why I was drawn to check this part of the forum.

From personal experience, I can sympathize with you about what you're going through. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

I don't know how things in your life are going now, but I do pray that they are better and will get better. Your mother must be a good person and you're an awesome daughter for putting your life on hold. I wish there were more love like this in the world between children and their parents, butt here isn't, which makes your story all the more touching.

God Bless you both and I will be praying for you... You will get through this and so will she. Keep The Faith and never stop believing. If you need or want ANYthing at all, please message me, OK?

I love you.

Cassandra


Michaholic...Thank you so much for your prayers and support.
As you so well say,my mom is a good person.In fact,she is an amazing person that fought all her live to make her children be someone.
Yes i agree that there should be more love between parents and children.It is the most beautiful bond we can have,the love i feel for my mother is so strong and unconditional,that i would do anything to save her.
My life now does not resemble to what it used to be before my mom beomes sick.In 2006,before june,i was working and saving money to go to USA and be with my boyfriend.
Then on the 23rd of june,stain john's night,my mom was fighting for her life in a ICU,and i was praying that she would make it,because i couldn't see myself without her.
For 15 days she was fighting death.On my birthday,in july,i was allowed to go to ICU and be with her,because she kept calling for me.It was a day to forget.But one thing that gave me strengh,was turning 33 back them and thinking about Jesus.he died with 33 years old,and i was going to the worst momento of my life at 33.I remember i spent most of the time praying.But My mother only came home in August and with lots of problems.She can't walk for herself,she has double vision,and even her behaviour is affected.There only 2 things we could do...either my mom would go to home,or i would quit my job to take care of her.I quit my job to take care of her,and since then untill now,it has been lots of ups and downs,i was weak lots of times,i needed help several times,but there's not a moment i regret and i would do all again if needed.
In the end of 2008,i found this part time job as a english teacher that i love,and thank God i can save a bit of money.I only work 2 days a week.But those 2 days,are my best theraphy.
(of course in the mean time,i take care of my mother 24/7.).
Hopefully in the end of this year i will be able to go to see my boyfriend.But of course it will all depend on my mom's health.
Thank you so so much for caring,and offering help.
Believe me...it is because of tthe people in this forum,that i can still have faith,that i can still have strengh.You all here care and support much more,than my real family.
All my love
Maria.HUGS

[Mariajoaosilva]

And tomorrow will be a very stressfull day...


My mom will make exams to her thiroid and her heart.She is very anxious and nervous.
Lately she has been feeling very tired without doing anything,and she is also having more problems to sleep than usual.
I guess she is hoping for the same as me...that this time something can be done to help her?...

i will let you all know when i know.

Thank you all for everything!

God bless

[Janey]

I hope so much that you have some good news for your mother tomorrow.
I wish you both well, big HUGS xx

[Michaholic]

Michaholic...Thank you so much for your prayers and support.
As you so well say,my mom is a good person.In fact,she is an amazing person that fought all her live to make her children be someone.
Yes i agree that there should be more love between parents and children.It is the most beautiful bond we can have,the love i feel for my mother is so strong and unconditional,that i would do anything to save her.
My life now does not resemble to what it used to be before my mom beomes sick.In 2006,before june,i was working and saving money to go to USA and be with my boyfriend.
Then on the 23rd of june,stain john's night,my mom was fighting for her life in a ICU,and i was praying that she would make it,because i couldn't see myself without her.
For 15 days she was fighting death.On my birthday,in july,i was allowed to go to ICU and be with her,because she kept calling for me.It was a day to forget.But one thing that gave me strengh,was turning 33 back them and thinking about Jesus.he died with 33 years old,and i was going to the worst momento of my life at 33.I remember i spent most of the time praying.But My mother only came home in August and with lots of problems.She can't walk for herself,she has double vision,and even her behaviour is affected.There only 2 things we could do...either my mom would go to home,or i would quit my job to take care of her.I quit my job to take care of her,and since then untill now,it has been lots of ups and downs,i was weak lots of times,i needed help several times,but there's not a moment i regret and i would do all again if needed.
In the end of 2008,i found this part time job as a english teacher that i love,and thank God i can save a bit of money.I only work 2 days a week.But those 2 days,are my best theraphy.
(of course in the mean time,i take care of my mother 24/7.).
Hopefully in the end of this year i will be able to go to see my boyfriend.But of course it will all depend on my mom's health.
Thank you so so much for caring,and offering help.
Believe me...it is because of tthe people in this forum,that i can still have faith,that i can still have strengh.You all here care and support much more,than my real family.
All my love
Maria.HUGS
Don't thank me for caring, as it is no favor, my dear. Good people like you and your Mom don't deserve the hardships you're experiencing. It's such a shame you must go through this at the tender age of 33. It's just so sad, but unfortunately, you must go through this to shape who you are as a person.

I went through the same thing with my Grandmom and Pop Pop... And now my Mom is very ill... She spends most of the day sitting or sleeping. :( She just can't move without crying... She's been wanting to kill herself, but I don't let her be alone to do it... I lose so many nights of sleep sitting next to her while she sleeps, making sure she's still breathing... I know what you're going through... This is my third time, but for my Mom, there's a bit more hope. I know what she's going through isn't quite the same, but it's comparible, so I especially feel closer to you, sweetheart.

Hang in there. :better:You will see your boyfriend again. If he truly cares about you, he'll wait an eternity for you.

And tomorrow will be a very stressfull day...


My mom will make exams to her thiroid and her heart.She is very anxious and nervous.
Lately she has been feeling very tired without doing anything,and she is also having more problems to sleep than usual.
I guess she is hoping for the same as me...that this time something can be done to help her?...

i will let you all know when i know.

Thank you all for everything!

God bless
PLEASE update us immediately when you get online! I'll be praying once again. :angel:

My Mom has thyroid conditions, too. Those could be symptoms. Tyroid problems could be easily managed with medicine, so if it's that, you shouldn't have to worry much unless she doesn't take her pills. But you're a wonderful daughter and I'm sure she'll be just fine in your care. I do hope it's not her heart.

[Mariajoaosilva]

Michaholic...Even if i don't need to thank,i want to do it.
Yes you can relate very well...I spent time awake too in the begining when my mom came home.It's your third time,and my second.
9 years ago,i helped my mom caring for my grandmother.Even if it was different because me and my mother supported eachother,it was very hard as i was very close to her.
This time i have to do all by myself but i don't mind at all.
The results of the exams my mom made will come next friday,and hopefully i can make an appoitment for my family doctor after having them.
Can't wait to have the results and hope that this time there is something that can be done.

Can i ask what does your mother have?Please know that i am here for you if you need whatever ok?You and her are in my prayers and i truly wish you and her all the best.

My boyfriend is only one of the best human beings on the face of the earth.I am so fortunate to have him in my life...
My mom loves him a lot.and he loves my mother too.
If there's someone Amazing in this world,my boyfriend is one of those persons for sure.

Again...thank you so so much for everything.
Take care
God Bless.HUGS

[Michaholic]

Michaholic...Even if i don't need to thank,i want to do it.
Yes you can relate very well...I spent time awake too in the begining when my mom came home.It's your third time,and my second.
9 years ago,i helped my mom caring for my grandmother.Even if it was different because me and my mother supported eachother,it was very hard as i was very close to her.
This time i have to do all by myself but i don't mind at all.
The results of the exams my mom made will come next friday,and hopefully i can make an appoitment for my family doctor after having them.
Can't wait to have the results and hope that this time there is something that can be done.

Can i ask what does your mother have?Please know that i am here for you if you need whatever ok?You and her are in my prayers and i truly wish you and her all the best.

My boyfriend is only one of the best human beings on the face of the earth.I am so fortunate to have him in my life...
My mom loves him a lot.and he loves my mother too.
If there's someone Amazing in this world,my boyfriend is one of those persons for sure.

Again...thank you so so much for everything.
Take care
God Bless.HUGS
Hey, sweetie. Well, than I'll say you're most welcome. :)

I'm glad we can relate to it and help each other through our tough time. I'll be adding you to my friends after this post, so be sure to accept me. ;)

My Mother has many things wrong with her... See, my Grandmother had Diabetes, heart failure, kidney failure, leg amputation... You name it and she had it, everything except cancer. She had died over 12 times due to her heart problems... She was literally a vegetable... My Grandfather had heart problems and all... He pretty much killed himself by drinking after my Grandmom passed away. My Mom has Fibromyalgia and lung problems... They thought she was getting heart problems and Diabetes. She has sleep apnea, so she has to sleep with a machine, but she's always so tired, she often falls asleep out in the living room without the machine... So I have to watch over her until she wakes up because she could stop breathing...

Life is too short to spend it worrying, but I'd rather be worrying about the people I love now rather than missing out on them because I didn't worry.

Luckily, my husband is also like your boyfriend... Extremely supportive and patient. I thank God every day for him being in my life.

You take care and PLEASE keep me updated with every step of the way. God Bless you and I'll talk to you soon! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Cassandra

[Carol]

Maria and Michaholic:better:My thoughts are with you both:yes::D

[Michaholic]

Thank you, Carol. I love you and appreciate it. God Bless you. :)

[Mariajoaosilva]

Maria and Michaholic:better:My thoughts are with you both:yes::D


Thank you so so much carol.HUGS

My thoughts and prayers are with Michaholic too.

[Michaholic]

Likewise, Maria. Give Mom a kiss for me.

[cass]

Welcome back Cassandra!

[Michaholic]

Awww, thanks, Cass! So glad you remembered me, sweetie. Missed ya. How have you been?? ^_^

[Mariajoaosilva]

I'm so scared right now....

Today we got the results of the exams my mom made and unffortunately it seems that my mom has a failure in her heart.
From what i could understand,my mom's heart stops beating for a few seconds from time to time.Also her blood pressure is completly out of control.
I thought i was going to know what to do help my mom getting better...but i guess this will never happen?
Next week i have to go with her to make some breathing and efforts tests .
I wonder what that is...What if she gets worst because of being more tired than ususal?
i am so tired of all this...i just don't know what to do anymore.

[movingcoolcat]

Maria, I feel for you:better:
I do wish there was anything I could say that was helpful, but from what you say it seems like your mothers situation is very complicated because there are a lot of different conditions at the same time.
You are very brave, and very dedicated to your mother and she must be very grateful and happy to have your love and care.


Take care,and warm hugs to you.

[Michaholic]

I'm so scared right now....

Today we got the results of the exams my mom made and unffortunately it seems that my mom has a failure in her heart.
From what i could understand,my mom's heart stops beating for a few seconds from time to time.Also her blood pressure is completly out of control.
I thought i was going to know what to do help my mom getting better...but i guess this will never happen?
Next week i have to go with her to make some breathing and efforts tests .
I wonder what that is...What if she gets worst because of being more tired than ususal?
i am so tired of all this...i just don't know what to do anymore.
Babe... Maybe you should ask the doctor if your Mom can have a pace maker. My Grandmother's heart only worked 15% of the time and she had one put in... What it does is when the heart stops beating, it beats for the heart... Or, you could get one that shocks the heart when it stops so it restarts.

Hope all gets well. *hugs!!!*

[Carol]

I'm so scared right now....

Today we got the results of the exams my mom made and unffortunately it seems that my mom has a failure in her heart.
From what i could understand,my mom's heart stops beating for a few seconds from time to time.Also her blood pressure is completly out of control.
I thought i was going to know what to do help my mom getting better...but i guess this will never happen?
Next week i have to go with her to make some breathing and efforts tests .
I wonder what that is...What if she gets worst because of being more tired than ususal?
i am so tired of all this...i just don't know what to do anymore.

................................Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :(:better:
I really hope the doctors will help her with this!:better:

[man_in_the_mirror]

trough all the upset you need to no i am always here for you as a friend!

[LindaC781]

We're here for you MariaJo....the pacemaker idea is a good one....

[a_silver_lining]

my heart and prayers go out to u i almost lost my mom last yr ,,, my mom suffers congestive heart failure so i know what u go through

[LindaC781]

MariaJo....if I had all the money in the world, I'd fly your mother here....get her the absolute best doctors imaginable. My heart goes out to you. Mothers are so special. I'd hate to have to go through what you are going through....