I miss you Michael

[*Billie Jean*]

Saying the words I miss you is easy to disregard as it is used for almost everything in everday life i.e hey babe I miss you I ain't seen you in a week / Oh no I missed that tv show, really wanted to see it / Hey sorry I missed your call I have really missed you voice etc etc...

How can I reflect that I really miss you so much more than words can explain, Michael I want you to know that when I say I miss you, it comes from deep within my heart and it hurts so much knowing that your not here anymore. You have touched me and touched my life in a way you will never know (well I hope you do know).

Missing you and loving you so much from everything inside of me... I just wish I could express how much so :weeping: :depressed:

[*Billie Jean*]

I miss you more each day Michael. I cried a long time last night, I broke down again this afternoon and I cried when I went out today. My pain seems to get worse everyday, sometimes just listening to your music is hard now. I can't believe you're not here. :weeping: I wish this was all a dream, I wish you were here.

[Tin Angel]

Billie, believe me when I say Michael know's that you love him. He knows that we're missing him terribly but that we'll be there always for him.
"I reach out my hand to you
I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name
And I'll be there..."
:hug:

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

Billie Jean I know how you feel cause I miss him just as much as you do. There are no words in any language that can even begin to describe of how much I miss Michael. I am 30 years old and I never thought I will be feeling like this. I am sad, miserable, and depressed all of the time now. Which is so unlike me. When he was still here I was always laughing and smiling and making some kind of joke about something. It is not like that for me now. Stranger In Moscow is really the only song of Michael's that can really describe how my days have been since that horrible day. I can so relate to that song now.

[smile4mj]

Billie, believe me when I say Michael know's that you love him. He knows that we're missing him terribly but that we'll be there always for him.
"I reach out my hand to you
I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name
And I'll be there..."
:hug:

:cry:
I miss him..and it's 2010. It's the starting year that is so empty without Michael..

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

:cry:
I miss him..and it's 2010. It's the starting year that is so empty without Michael..

I know :cry:

[*Billie Jean*]

I feel like this is some effed up bubble we are all living in and I can't envisage ANYTHING in the long-term. Like I can't imagine a time when I will wake up and won't immediately think of Michael. Or how about in a year's time? Or even worse, in 10 years, knowing we've been without him for so long. I just feel like I'm stuck here, in this vile moment when everything seems so vacuous and empty, and I'm never going to move on from it. Like I've said lots of times already, I don't want to get to a point where I 'come to terms with it' or that time 'heals' these raw feelings because I just refuse to accept that what has happened can be moved on from (for me at least).

I can't understand everything. I keep thinking 'this time X months ago' and right now to imagine that 7 months ago I was more excited and positive than I've ever been in my life, planning my banner and clothes and hotel and everything for seeing him, and in such a short amount of time since then I've taken in this news, flown to LA and watched them wheel the love of my life away from me in a casket and flown home to try to take in everything I witnessed there and deal with the news back in the 'normal' world (and then all the sh!t that has happened while/because I've tried to deal with this mess!), well it's just so messed up I just feel like I'm floating along in some wierd twilight zone. How can THIS be the reality now? I can't figure it out, and I don't know how to begin dealing with it.

Sorry for crapping on and on and on, I'm just having a wierd night thinking things over and over and driving myself crazy. I can't believe how much I miss him. I love him so much it hurts ... :weeping:

[*Billie Jean*]

:depressed:......

[Desired.]

Aw, Billie Jean I wish I could give you a hug even though I know all of the hugs in the world couldn't take your pain away. :( I know it's hard.. it's hard for all of us. I think about him constantly, I still look up to the sky, and ask God all the time "Why? Why Michael?" I miss him dearly. Just remember that you are never alone, and somehow, some way we'll all get through this together.

[*Billie Jean*]

Aw, Billie Jean I wish I could give you a hug even though I know all of the hugs in the world couldn't take your pain away. :( I know it's hard.. it's hard for all of us. I think about him constantly, I still look up to the sky, and ask God all the time "Why? Why Michael?" I miss him dearly. Just remember that you are never alone, and somehow, some way we'll all get through this together.
Aw, thanks! I really appreciate it! I'm having an especially hard day today. :depressed: I can't see an end to this. I feel like I've died inside. Why did this happen?

WHY? WHY? WHY?

:weeping:

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

Aw, thanks! I really appreciate it! I'm having an especially hard day today. :depressed: I can't see an end to this. I feel like I've died inside. Why did this happen?

WHY? WHY? WHY?

:weeping:

I still tend to ask myself that same question Billie Jean. It was yesterday morning I really started to cry again over Michael. When I was in my MJ folder reading some stories that I had printed out about 10 years ago. Of other fans experiences of either meeting Michael or just being closed to him. I couldn't even finish reading this one story cause I was crying so hard. It really isn't fair that this had to happen to someone like Michael. I still so badly wish that it was me and not him that had died that horrible day.

[*Billie Jean*]

I still tend to ask myself that same question Billie Jean. It was yesterday morning I really started to cry again over Michael. When I was in my MJ folder reading some stories that I had printed out about 10 years ago. Of other fans experiences of either meeting Michael or just being closed to him. I couldn't even finish reading this one story cause I was crying so hard. It really isn't fair that this had to happen to someone like Michael. I still so badly wish that it was me and not him that had died that horrible day.
I feel the same way. I also wish that it was me and not him that had died..It's really not fair, and frankly, he needs to be here. Not for me, but for his children, his family, and his friends. It wasn't his time to go, regardless of what people say. UGH I just can't explain how angry I get thinking why he had to leave. What is up with the world? I was so prepared to hear about Michael's concerts at the O2 arena, then this happens? I'm not accepting this, ever.. I miss him terribly. My heart is broken in a million pieces. Last night I almost did something I shouldn't have :(

[Em_Mj]

:cry: Oh Billie Jean.. I agree with you totally. It SHOULDN'T of happened. I wont accept it either. I miss him so much, but that's not what I'm here to write..
I just read your last post.. :sigh: I know it's easy for me to say "please don't do anything stupid!!!!" but .. I mean it. It's not what Michael would want and it's not something any of us would want. I know it gets so hard to bare with sometimes (all the time).. we have to stay strong for Michael, he was so strong throughout his life. We're lucky to have an inspiration like him.
Anyway.. I truly hope you are okay.

[*Billie Jean*]

Thanks hun. I hope I don't get to that point again. Sorry if I scared you, I just... needed to let it out.. I just feel so lost and disillusioned I guess. I know so many of us are going through the same, but it is hard. :weeping:

[Carol]

Thanks hun. I hope I don't get to that point again. Sorry if I scared you, I just... needed to let it out.. I just feel so lost and disillusioned I guess. I know so many of us are going through the same, but it is hard. :weeping:


.................(((((((((((warm hug))))))))))))))))))
I feel the same,the world is a' empty place without our'e angel:no:

[xthunderx2]

Thanks hun. I hope I don't get to that point again. Sorry if I scared you, I just... needed to let it out.. I just feel so lost and disillusioned I guess. I know so many of us are going through the same, but it is hard. :weeping:

Hello Billie jean...i am sorry you are feeling so bad today...let me give you a :hug:....I hope this helps a little bit....I know it has been terribly difficult....but as I have told you before we are all here for you...Dont worry you will never be alone in your pain....we are here ..we understand your pain..we feel it too...xoxox

[*Billie Jean*]

Hello Billie jean...i am sorry you are feeling so bad today...let me give you a :hug:....I hope this helps a little bit....I know it has been terribly difficult....but as I have told you before we are all here for you...Dont worry you will never be alone in your pain....we are here ..we understand your pain..we feel it too...xoxox
Thank you for your words of support. I feel like a piece of me is missing, the world seems darker. I've never been this upset, and I feel guilty for saying that. My emotions go up and down and today is a down day. I miss him terrible and I want him back. I cry all the time and I just feel how can I go on? Life doesnt feel the same to me anymore and nothing matters. It's so hard to keep my head up. He was and still is my one and only true love, and I will miss him forever. :weeping:

[*Billie Jean*]

I miss you Michael :( I miss you so much.......I can't stop crying tonight, why do you have to go? Oh God, why???

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

I miss you Michael :( I miss you so much.......I can't stop crying tonight, why do you have to go? Oh God, why???

I feel the exact same way Billie Jean. I just got up and I am already crying over Michael.

[blue_eyed_belle]

I miss you so much Michael, my heart is still aching.

I want to give you a cuddle, tell you that I love you very much. Many say that it's sad that it took your passing to teach the world to love and accept you for who you were, to appreciate you as an artist, to play your music without passing judgement. I don't think it did, actually. As soon as you stepped out on that stage in March, people took notice. You were there for a matter of minutes, yet the world was in awe. I was in Lyon, France at the time, and it was all over the french news - your short and sweet speech subtitled up there on the screen. Your fifty sell-out shows sold out in matter of minutes. How immense! I think that says it all - you still had it, or should I say have it - I can only imagine how much money This is It will make worldwide once DVD sales are added to the ticket sales for the cinema.

You were a simply amazing human being - there'll never be anyone like you again, and it's killing me. Je t'aime Michael. I love you so very much. Thanks for everything, and thanks for your fans!

With L.O.V.E x

[*Billie Jean*]

I feel the exact same way Billie Jean. I just got up and I am already crying over Michael.
I know. It's been almost 7 months but I still don't feel any better now than I did when this first happened. I still cry all the time. Even when I should be happy and in a good mood, I can still cry. This loss is just unfathomable to me.. :depressed: I'm having an especially hard day today. I can't bare to look at footage or photos because it just keeps making me realise he's not here anymore. I don't ever wanna realise it. I wanna stay in this denial forever. I feel it's easier that way.

[loyalmjjfan]

you wouldn't believe how much i miss michael, :( i would have been going to see him this month, and that hurts. He is with me always xx

[*Billie Jean*]

you wouldn't believe how much i miss michael, :( i would have been going to see him this month, and that hurts. He is with me always xx
I know how you feel. I would also have been going this month, to see my Michael. :weeping: I miss him so much. My heart is actually aching for him at the moment. Nothing seems right. It just hurts so so much. It hurts to think that we'll never hear his voice again, never see him sing, or never even see him smile again. Thinking this just tears my heart out.

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

I know how you feel. I would also have been going this month, to see my Michael. :weeping: I miss him so much. My heart is actually aching for him at the moment. Nothing seems right. It just hurts so so much. It hurts to think that we'll never hear his voice again, never see him sing, or never even see him smile again. Thinking this just tears my heart out.

I know what you mean Billie Jean. Which is why I am so very thankful that I have all sorts of pictures. And as well audio recordings and video footages of Michael either on vhs tapes, computer discs, cds, and dvds. That I had either bought, taped, and downloaded over the years. Even though they are all old stuff of Michael's. But that is all that I have left now of Michael. Though I would give anything in this entire just to see one new picture of Michael smiling right now. But it just hurts so extremely much knowing that I am never going to see any new pictures or videos of Michael ever again. Which is why I am so dreading the day when I get my This Is It dvd. I had preordered it from Amazon.com. But it is going to really hurt like hell when I get that dvd in my hands. I know it did when I had gotten the This Is It cd for Christmas. Fighting those tears back was practically near impossible. Just like the day I had gotten my Opus book. I was really crying as I was looking through that book. And I cried every single time I had looked at that book. Cause it is just so extremely hard seeing those pictures of Michael. While knowing that this book was one of the last things he was working on.

[smile4mj]

:cry::cry:
miss Michael so much today..
Till now I couldnt believe Michael's gone. The feeling of losing him is deeper everyday. It's painful !

[*Billie Jean*]

Michael, I miss you more than words can say. It hurts. It's so hard to believe that you are actually gone.. I don't know what to do with myself, I seriously cant handle this pain any longer.. I'm dying without you.. please come back, I need you .. :weeping:

[mjlovergurl003]

i know how you guys feels. Everyday I think of Michael and not a day single day goes by that i dont feel the pain inside of being gone. I cant even find words anymore to express how much i miss him and how much I love him. i wish this was a dream and we would all wake up and see Michael again smiling and laughing with his children and performing his 50 shows. this never should have happened. ever. :'(

[MJstarlight]

:cry: Its all so painful.. I miss him so much :cry:

[Sophielo]

Michael means so much to all of us and thank god we have a place where we can express our feelings with the fear of being mocked or ridiculed. We're a family and we're all here to support each other, through the good days, the ok days, and the days where missing Michael becomes that bit extra painful. I love you all.

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

:cry: Its all so painful.. I miss him so much :cry:

I know all I have been on and off all day is crying over Michael. And really thinking about him constanty. I have really tried to distract myself from him but that did not seem to work. The only time when I wasn't crying over Michael was when I was sleeping. Maybe I ought to use the same drug that killed Michael. That way I can sleep forever and I can finally be with him.

[*Billie Jean*]

I know all I have been on and off all day is crying over Michael. And really thinking about him constanty. I have really tried to distract myself from him but that did not seem to work. The only time when I wasn't crying over Michael was when I was sleeping. Maybe I ought to use the same drug that killed Michael. That way I can sleep forever and I can finally be with him.
I feel the same. I just want to be with Michael.. I feel so weak. I don't know what to do. I can't eat...I barely sleep...I can't even talk without wanting to cry...I miss him so badly. My heart is bleeding so much.. I don't know how to get over this tragic loss really not. I just wanna die and yeah, I know Michael wouldn't want that, but I can't handle this. I feel like I'm gonna break into pieces...I have no more self control.

[*Billie Jean*]

If everyone just takes their meds we will all be fine. Peace.

[*Billie Jean*]

Just been reading through threads from June 25th/26th and now I'm crying again. I miss you so much, Michael it's unbelievable. I wish I could talk to you for just one second... I love you. Nobody can't imagine how much I love you.. how much I wanna be with you.. how much I miss you.. how much I think about you all day long.. I still can't believe it.. :weeping:

[*Billie Jean*]

Dear Michael,

Right now I really cannot put in words how upset I feel. These past months have been the worst, and I can't tell you how much I miss you, its unbelievable. Waking up, I feel the most empty feeling possible and I look at you on my wall and feel lost. I miss you so much, I don't know what to do or say.

The only thought however, that is carrying me on right now is the idea you're up in Heaven watching down on us now knowing how much we all love you, how much I truly love you. Now you must finally be at peace, happy and in a better place, because you really were too good for this world. An angel in disguise.

Your talent and genius never failed to amaze me. I remember first becoming a fan, staying up late to watch your videos on TV, putting all your pictures on my wall, kissing them goodnight and thinking the day I meet him will be the best day of my life. Now I'm just thinking how much I miss you and how I never got to tell you how much you mean to me. You mean everything to me. Your music helped me through such a tough time in my life, and I can never thank you enough for it. Words fail me at saying what you mean to me, and this is exactly why now I'm so devastated at the fact you've left us. At times I feel angry and fustrated this has happened, I think of all you still wanted to do in your life and how you said you never wanted to die. I don't think I'll ever fully understand why you were taken away from us, nor will I fully accept it, it is still the biggest shock.

But Michael, you really mean everything to me. I can't stop crying and I feel so lost without you. Before I'd turn to you when upset and in need of comfort, as your music never failed to help me so much. Now, I don't know what to do. But I want to thank you for everything you've done for this earth. Your undeniable genius, prolific music and dancing, your healing the world and humanitarian work and generally just being yourself, which brought so much happyness to me and millions around the world.

I need you to know how much I love you and how I always will. I love you more than anything Michael, and God knows how much I miss your smile and everything about you. May you finally be peaceful, at rest and truly happy, as nobody deserves it more than you.

I love and miss you so much Michael, you'll be with me until the end. :weeping:

[Tin Angel]

Dear Michael,

Right now I really cannot put in words how upset I feel. These past months have been the worst, and I can't tell you how much I miss you, its unbelievable. Waking up, I feel the most empty feeling possible and I look at you on my wall and feel lost. I miss you so much, I don't know what to do or say.

The only thought however, that is carrying me on right now is the idea you're up in Heaven watching down on us now knowing how much we all love you, how much I truly love you. Now you must finally be at peace, happy and in a better place, because you really were too good for this world. An angel in disguise.

Your talent and genius never failed to amaze me. I remember first becoming a fan, staying up late to watch your videos on TV, putting all your pictures on my wall, kissing them goodnight and thinking the day I meet him will be the best day of my life. Now I'm just thinking how much I miss you and how I never got to tell you how much you mean to me. You mean everything to me. Your music helped me through such a tough time in my life, and I can never thank you enough for it. Words fail me at saying what you mean to me, and this is exactly why now I'm so devastated at the fact you've left us. At times I feel angry and fustrated this has happened, I think of all you still wanted to do in your life and how you said you never wanted to die. I don't think I'll ever fully understand why you were taken away from us, nor will I fully accept it, it is still the biggest shock.

But Michael, you really mean everything to me. I can't stop crying and I feel so lost without you. Before I'd turn to you when upset and in need of comfort, as your music never failed to help me so much. Now, I don't know what to do. But I want to thank you for everything you've done for this earth. Your undeniable genius, prolific music and dancing, your healing the world and humanitarian work and generally just being yourself, which brought so much happyness to me and millions around the world.

I need you to know how much I love you and how I always will. I love you more than anything Michael, and God knows how much I miss your smile and everything about you. May you finally be peaceful, at rest and truly happy, as nobody deserves it more than you.

I love and miss you so much Michael, you'll be with me until the end. :weeping:

You express yourself so beautifuly. :cry: I wanna be where he is now too. With him. Forever. I miss him terribly. Oh, Michael, come back or let me be with you. Take me with you...
Hugs, Bille. :hug:

[*Billie Jean*]

You express yourself so beautifuly. :cry: I wanna be where he is now too. With him. Forever. I miss him terribly. Oh, Michael, come back or let me be with you. Take me with you...
Hugs, Bille. :hug:
Aw :weeping:

[*Billie Jean*]

Michael my love can you hear me... can you take me please........

:weeping:

[starone_angel]

Michael my love can you hear me... can you take me please........

:weeping:

Oh dear, I know how you feel... I feel the same... :weeping: I just want to go where he is right now...:weeping:

[*Billie Jean*]

Oh dear, I know how you feel... I feel the same... :weeping: I just want to go where he is right now...:weeping:
I know :weeping:

Michael, please come back or take me with you.

[Em_Mj]

oh god. 7 months later and it hasn't gotten any easier.

actually this time 7 months ago, i was ONE month and ONE day away from seeing Michael. i can't move on. it's not right :cry:
i wanna wake up from this nightmare.

[kiki_online]

:-( :-( :-( :-( :-(

[*Billie Jean*]

SEVEN months today without Michael and the pain's getting worse. I miss him with every fibre of my being, from the depths of my soul... the world without him is just... wrong. A piece of me just went away forever. :weeping:

[MJfan10]

SEVEN months today without Michael and the pain's getting worse. I miss him with every fibre of my being, from the depths of my soul... the world without him is just... wrong. A piece of me just went away forever. :weeping:

Same. Everyday it gets harder. :( I can't believe its been 7 months. I want him back so much. :weeping:

[*Billie Jean*]

Michael, I still miss you so much, each and everyday. Not a single day has passed when you haven't been in my thoughts. Part of me was lost that day and I will never retain it. God, I miss you much. I stand in libraries, book stores and record shops and see your face on many items and the words 1958-2009 everywhere. It just breaks my heart. I wish I could do something to bring you back. January 9th was a hard day for me. It would have been the day I watched you performing. I can't describe how I felt that day. It was like I was a shell and the inside of me was just taken away. I miss you so much, I don't think I will ever recover from this. I still can't believe this is actually happening. I am so sad. I can't stop my tears... You're the only person that can make me cry for so long. I love you so, so much and will forever... :weeping:

[stineLOVESmichael]

I cried myself to sleep last night!
listening to keep the faith.. heal the world.. will you be there...
while I was sqeezing my MJ flag hanging on my wall next to my bed with my hand.. I held on to it SO thight.. it's the picture of MJ with the panther from black or white.. I begged him to appear in my dreams but he didn't..
I've loved him since..forever.. he's my everything!
why couldn't he just appear for a second to let me know he's OK++?? :cry: I just wanted to hold him close in my dreams!!!
my dreams is my only chance to hug him now..it will forever on stay with the dream from now!!

[FunkeyJay]

I feel your pain.... I thought it was getting better, but nope.. I'm feeling so sad since I got back from london... facing the reality there, seeing the o2, going to the exhibition and knowing WHY though I try to live in denial and try to push the thought away from me... but I dunno how to explain... I'm so damn sad and I'll never understand it, and it hurts my heart the same as it did on 25 june :cry:

[StaceyMJ]

I can't sleep tonight...and I'm thinking of Michael. I feel so down...I miss him so much. It's times like this that it hits me like a ton of bricks we're never going to see him again. I can't dream of meeting him, and all the amazing things that could happen. I hate this. I can't believe what's happening. I wish I could have done more for him. So many regrets. :cry:

I love him.

[*Billie Jean*]

This sucks. :( Life ain't worth living anymore... The only thing that kept me alive was him.. Now I just wanna be with him and DIE! :weeping:

[mjjfan4ever]

I cried myself to sleep last night!
listening to keep the faith.. heal the world.. will you be there...
while I was sqeezing my MJ flag hanging on my wall next to my bed with my hand.. I held on to it SO thight.. it's the picture of MJ with the panther from black or white.. I begged him to appear in my dreams but he didn't..
I've loved him since..forever.. he's my everything!
why couldn't he just appear for a second to let me know he's OK++?? :cry: I just wanted to hold him close in my dreams!!!
my dreams is my only chance to hug him now..it will forever on stay with the dream from now!!

awww :hug:

i think the 25th will be difficult for most of us. but we have to find the strength that Michael found in difficult times by leaning on each other. :better:

nothing will give anyone solace for the immense pain and grief we all feel. :no:

:hug: to everyone.

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

I miss Michael more than ever before. I just hate living in this world without him in it. I am sad, miserable, and depressed every single minute of the day now. I just wish I could go back and be happy again. But my happiness had died with Michael on that horrible day. Michael had always made me happy really happy. But now there really is no reason for me to feel that way again. And the last time I had felt genuinely happy was before I had heard the horrible news. Since then I had totally forgotten what it is like to be genuinely happy. The song Stranger In Moscow really does best describe how my days have been since June 25th.

[stineLOVESmichael]

awww :hug:

i think the 25th will be difficult for most of us. but we have to find the strength that Michael found in difficult times by leaning on each other. :better:

nothing will give anyone solace for the immense pain and grief we all feel. :no:

:hug: to everyone.

:hug:

[*Billie Jean*]

I miss Michael more than ever before. I just hate living in this world without him in it. I am sad, miserable, and depressed every single minute of the day now. I just wish I could go back and be happy again. But my happiness had died with Michael on that horrible day. Michael had always made me happy really happy. But now there really is no reason for me to feel that way again. And the last time I had felt genuinely happy was before I had heard the horrible news. Since then I had totally forgotten what it is like to be genuinely happy. The song Stranger In Moscow really does best describe how my days have been since June 25th.
I totally know what you mean. I feel so very horrible without my Michael in my life. He was the only thing that I had that made me happy in my life. I am never going to know what happiness and joy is now. My happiness is forever gone. I don't even like seeing happy smiling people now. Because their happy and I am not. :depressed: I even have actually forgotten what it is like to be happy. That was forever taken away from me on June 25th 2009. I am OK just because I am not realising it. When I do, I am back in tears. Things won't ever be the same without Michael, that's a fact. I feel so numb again, like how I was a few weeks after he had passed. I can't do anything. I couldn't do anything then, and I certainly can't do anything now. I wanna bring you back Michael. Please...just come back. :weeping:

[Carol]

awww :hug:

i think the 25th will be difficult for most of us. but we have to find the strength that Michael found in difficult times by leaning on each other. :better:

nothing will give anyone solace for the immense pain and grief we all feel. :no:

:hug: to everyone.


:hug:.............Back at you and everyone:wub:

[aaliyah]

Michael,
I miss you
I love you
I will never forget you

[LoveMJackson]

I just finished to watch TII DVD and it hit me again, I can't believe that he's gone for good. I admire Michael each time more and more.. I'll never see him perform live, its really sad but what is more sad that his kids will never see their father performing. :( he wanted to make them proud of him.
I wish I could be with Michael now..I want to hug him. :huggy:
I love him so much

[smile4mj]

I just finished to watch TII DVD and it hit me again, I can't believe that he's gone for good. I admire Michael each time more and more.. I'll never see him perform live, its really sad but what is more sad that his kids will never see their father performing. :( he wanted to make them proud of him.
I wish I could be with Michael now..I want to hug him. :huggy:
I love him so much

I felt the same too. I finished watched Jackson : An American Dream. It's a very nice mini series ! They potrayed the jackson family well enough in my opinion. Things that bugged me most that I'll never see Michael Jackson again. I would keep think WHERE'S MICHAEL ??? God I miss him :cry: How I wish to relieve the magic days of the Jackson 5 as well just to bring Michael alive again!!!I do listen and see him on youtube but that's just a memory :cry: But I need to think a brighter side, Michael's at better place and Brandon's got a companion

[*Billie Jean*]

I miss you Michael ( I miss you a lot.......I can't stop crying, why do you have to go? Oh God, why???

:weeping:

[leannascarlet]

this is what i tweeted about since morning 'i miss you mike'.i've checked my twitter and i wrote that five times today.

[*Billie Jean*]

It hurts so much that you are gone. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about you. I just want to tell you Michael, I miss you so very much. :weeping:

[aaliyah]

I miss him so much :cry:

[smile4mj]

I just re-realized that you were not here anymore and my whole world just like shattered into small pieces. I miss you Michael and I love you for what you contributed to the world :cry:

[*Billie Jean*]

I miss you more now than I ever did before. I am on the verge of crying again cause I miss you so much. It's been almost eight months and I still cry just as easily now as I did then. I just can't accept the fact that you're no longer here. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't. I want you to come back, I would do anything just for you to be back here with me. :weeping: I'll always love you.

[whosbad]

Billie Jean - Michael is still with you - in your dreams, in your thoughts - and I do believe that he can feel all the love for him. It´s also still very hard for me - but Michael hasn´t left - just his body isn´t here anymore. :smile:

[stineLOVESmichael]

^^I try to say that to myself all the time.. it's JUST HIS BODY! his spirit is still alive and everywhere..I just.. gahhh :cry:
Michael can you hear my prayers? my thoughts? my tears?
I haven't seen him in my dreams since he passed..I don't know why! is my brain just switching OFF when I go to sleep now? to try and not think about it so I'll get a headache? I wouldn't care..I just wanna talk to him in my dreams because I very much believe dreams are real. (some of them)

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

^^I try to say that to myself all the time.. it's JUST HIS BODY! his spirit is still alive and everywhere..I just.. gahhh :cry:
Michael can you hear my prayers? my thoughts? my tears?
I haven't seen him in my dreams since he passed..I don't know why! is my brain just switching OFF when I go to sleep now? to try and not think about it so I'll get a headache? I wouldn't care..I just wanna talk to him in my dreams because I very much believe dreams are real. (some of them)

I consider you lucky stine. During that entie dreadful summer and through part of Autumn. I had spent almost every single night having such vivid dreams about Michael. And most of those dreams were horrible. Especially 2 of them were I had woke up crying and shaking uncontrollably. I had such really bad insomnia because of those dreams. Because I was afraid of going to sleep because I didn't know what kind of MJ dream I would be having. I don't dream about Michael as much now but when I do they are always good dreams. Like the dream I had last week where Michael was heavily involved in helping the Haitian people.


Michael I really can't even begin to describe of how much I miss you now. I so badly wish that this was all just a really long horrible nightmare. And that I had just woken up and finding out that you really are alive and well. I would just give anything in this world right now to see a brand new picture of you. Especially of one with that beautiful gorgeous smile that I have always love. Or just hearing a news story about how you are helping those Haitian people. I had a dream about you last week about how heavily involved you were in helping those poor people in Haiti. And I am sure of all the things you were doing in my dream. You really would have done in real life. I just so badly wish that you would come back to us Michael.

[souldreamer7]

How can I begin to describe how much I miss you Michael....How?...The world at times seems less bright.. as if the sun hasn't shined down from the heavens in days...and as though the moon hasn't light up the nights skye with it's trillions of stars...it is these moments when I feel the worst.. when my human body crashes and I asorb pain....pain from the loss you not being here physically on earth. To me you are Love..and I am striving to find all that is love within me right now.. so I cry tears of love for you.. te amo mi corazon siempre~*~*

[a_silver_lining]

u guys seen this video its a beatiful tribute to the kop i miss him too vvvvvvvvvvvm this song says it all


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9DtXXDdNuo&feature=player_embedded

[stineLOVESmichael]

I consider you lucky stine. During that entie dreadful summer and through part of Autumn. I had spent almost every single night having such vivid dreams about Michael. And most of those dreams were horrible. Especially 2 of them were I had woke up crying and shaking uncontrollably. I had such really bad insomnia because of those dreams. Because I was afraid of going to sleep because I didn't know what kind of MJ dream I would be having. I don't dream about Michael as much now but when I do they are always good dreams. Like the dream I had last week where Michael was heavily involved in helping the Haitian people.

.

oh gosh:cry: that's horrible! but I'm happy to hear that it's good dreams now and the one about michael helping haiti..I'm sure he is in spirit<3

[*Billie Jean*]

Today has been a horrible day for me. Michael I miss you so much and I still cry for you everyday. I need you. Please come back to me. :weeping:

[Emerald]

Just had a complete "I cannot believe Michael Jackson is dead" moment.
Looking at the pics at the top of the forum.. What is this. :(

[*Billie Jean*]

:weeping: ......

[Emerald]

I send love to everyone in here. :angel:

[souldreamer7]

still :cry: today/tonight been hard last few days....

[MJstarlight]

:cry: miss you so much Michael!!!

[DIRTYDIANA☆]

I'm missing you very much Michael! :cry: These past months have been difficult for me because I can't seem to accept the fact that he is gone..but I know he's in a better place and God is keeping him in Great company..one day I will see MJ again and it will be the best day of my life!

[*Billie Jean*]

I've driven myself insane..
Wishing I could touch your face..
See your smile..
Hear your laugh..
Just, one last time..
But, the truth is that you're gone..

I miss you more everyday :weeping:

[TheLastTear]

I've driven myself insane..
Wishing I could touch your face..
See your smile..
Hear your laugh..
Just, one last time..
But, the truth is that you're gone..

I miss you more everyday :weeping:

Me too, my dear friend, me too :cry:

:hug:

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

There are not enough words in any language that can even begin to describe how much I miss you. I am sitting here listening to you crying over you as usual. And I am thinking of that one scene in Moonwalker again. Where Katy wishes for you to come back. You have no idea how badly I wish that really would come true for us. We miss you so extremely much Michael. And we wish you would come back to us. Like you did for Katy in Moonwalker.

[FunkeyJay]

I'm so good in being in denial. But I'm crying right now and can not believe what happened. Today I went to a b-day party and got a bit to drink, not much. But when I was driving home I somehow thought about twitter and that once around June 20th I was telling my followers that I hope to not send drunken tweets because there's a habour festival in our town for a whole week and everyone in our city likes to have it and take it as an excuse to party during the week. I thought that tweet was funny. I remember The Twinz answering me (the ones who were at the audition for TII) asking what's going on there and wish me much fun.

I want that life back, the simple life, knowing Michael is around and it's only one month to wait till my first concert, I wish I could have this excitement back, just for one second, but mostly I want the feeling back Michael is rehearsing and I want my simple worries back, like how to get a cheap flight as soon as possible. I'm crying. I still can not believe what happened. All this has been taken away, Michael was taken away and it hurts. It will never stop hurting. :cry:

[smile4mj]

It hurts so bad whenever I think of you that you will never to return again. All the fond videos from your jackson 5 to these days, sent me waves and waves of heartache :cry: I really wish there would be a time machine to bring you back again. I want you to have the best childhood you ever had in your life and all the pain gone. I really miss your laugh and your sweet voice. I look upon the stars and the moon and I wish I could see you appear somewhere from the sky and bring me with you !! Where are you Michael ??? :cry: I really want to come and see you !!!!

[*Billie Jean*]

I could stand here for hours, tears pouring down & violently shaking; Begging God for a reason, why He took you away..

I miss you so much. :weeping:

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

I still miss you so much my dear sweet angel. I so badly wish you could come back to us. The world is really not the same without you in it.

[*Billie Jean*]

It's not the thought that you're gone that hurts the most, it's knowing that you're never comming back. If you knew how much pain I feel inside since you've been gone. My heart.. my soul.. my smile.. my laugh.. my reason for living.. all died with you.

I can't live anymore.. please Michael take me with you.. please my love. :weeping:

[Darvon1982]

I'm missing you like crazy Michael. :(

[smile4mj]

It's not the thought that you're gone that hurts the most, it's knowing that you're never comming back. If you knew how much pain I feel inside since you've been gone. My heart.. my soul.. my smile.. my laugh.. my reason for living.. all died with you.

I can't live anymore.. please Michael take me with you.. please my love. :weeping:

Please take me too.. :cry: :cry:
words failed I cant tell how much pain I hacve now but I know it was nothing compared to ur pain you had in your life :cry:

[darlingdear]

:cry:
Michael.
I asked for you today, outloud. I hope you heard me.
I love you. And I miss you. More than words can describe.
:heart:

[*Billie Jean*]

I can't stop crying, Michael.

I miss you so much, I can't put it in words.

:weeping:

[smile4mj]

I can't stop crying, Michael.

I miss you so much, I can't put it in words.

:weeping:

I wish I could hug you when you are crying, Billie :cry: I know it hurts more as time goes by.. It hurts me too. Now I dont believe in time heals itself. I'm crying like crazy every day now. I couldnt help it :cry:Hes gone too soon.. :cry:

[*Little Suzie*]

I understand you * Billie Jean * and your all other fans..I Miss him too.. and love him too!!... but you are not alone... we are all here with you... we have the same pain..we must be strong together... I feel like im already over his death but inside.. the pain is still there... When i hear his voice or see pictures of him.. i start to say to myself: "i love him so much".. cuz i really do.. I love him so much and miss him ... there will never be another guy like him.. his personality is unique... i miss him :cry:

[starone_angel]

I've driven myself insane..
Wishing I could touch your face..
See your smile..
Hear your laugh..
Just, one last time..
But, the truth is that you're gone..

I miss you more everyday :weeping:

:weeping::weeping::weeping: I know dear, I know... Miss him more and more... Time is not healing... It's worse... :weeping:

[*Billie Jean*]

Thanks to all of you for your support and kindness. It helps. But I'm getting worse not better. This hole in my heart keeps on getting bigger and bigger... I can't even explain but I'm sure everyone knows how that feels. I feel like I'm going crazy, I can't stop crying it's like I'm back to day one. I feel like I'm never gonna get better... I've heard people saying that they are broken hearted. But I never thought I would literaly feel my chest hurt so much, my heart ache this way...I have such chest pains and my eyes can't stop burning. I miss Michael so much it's unbearable.... I really don't know how to go on.. today felt so empty. People must think I'm strange because I'm often just bursting out into tears and finding it hard to keep my head up. I can't stop loving him and wanting to be with him. It's not fair! :weeping:

[*Little Suzie*]

:huggy:

[MicHil]

GOD, I MISS HIM!!

it's really not fair at all.
*sigh* i can't sleep, the bags under my eyes are getting worse.

I MISS HIM!! URGHH

(sorry didn't know where else to vent this)

and so, you're not alone *Billie Jean*

[RainbowAngel]

Thanks to all of you for your support and kindness. It helps. But I'm getting worse not better. This hole in my heart keeps on getting bigger and bigger... I can't even explain but I'm sure everyone knows how that feels. I feel like I'm going crazy, I can't stop crying it's like I'm back to day one. I feel like I'm never gonna get better... I've heard people saying that they are broken hearted. But I never thought I would literaly feel my chest hurt so much, my heart ache this way...I have such chest pains and my eyes can't stop burning. I miss Michael so much it's unbearable.... I really don't know how to go on.. today felt so empty. People must think I'm strange because I'm often just bursting out into tears and finding it hard to keep my head up. I can't stop loving him and wanting to be with him. It's not fair! :weeping:

You are not alone! Still you got to be strong for Michael! You have to make him proud of you! Today is Valentines day and since I'm single, my family is in another country, my friends is in another city because I'd just move to a another city, I celebrate it alone. Bought myself some chocolate and then read Dancing the Dream book. Then I listened to MJ's songs and watch his videos online. So ofcourse I cried. I couldn't stop crying so I though I take a short nap. When I woke up I don't feel getting out of bed and I felt miserable. But I said to myself "be strong, for Michael" and I got up! Sometimes I can really feel he is looking down and smiling on each one of us!

[smile4mj]

Thanks to all of you for your support and kindness. It helps. But I'm getting worse not better. This hole in my heart keeps on getting bigger and bigger... I can't even explain but I'm sure everyone knows how that feels. I feel like I'm going crazy, I can't stop crying it's like I'm back to day one. I feel like I'm never gonna get better... I've heard people saying that they are broken hearted. But I never thought I would literaly feel my chest hurt so much, my heart ache this way...I have such chest pains and my eyes can't stop burning. I miss Michael so much it's unbearable.... I really don't know how to go on.. today felt so empty. People must think I'm strange because I'm often just bursting out into tears and finding it hard to keep my head up. I can't stop loving him and wanting to be with him. It's not fair! :weeping:

*hugs* we are all together in this Billie and we are holding on each other to live and continue Michael legacy and until one day we would all be together again with Michael and all the people we loved before :cry:I really felt your pain because that's what we all went through everyday. The swollen eyes, the chest pain, the depression. My eyes were infected with bacteria because of wiping my tears too much on my shirt but I didnt care. The tears were for Michael.You are not strange, dear Billie, it's very normal to burst in tears for the Michael as you love and miss most. Cry if you must dear Billie, you'll feel better. I did the same too. But it was a bit hard for me. I must hold my tears until I was all alone in my bedroom because I was often with my parents and siblings. I didnt want them to ask me anything as mourning Michael was very private and personal thing for me.


Sometimes I can really feel he is looking down and smiling on each one of us!
I had that feeling too. I would look upon the sky and see a rather big Michael face smilling down at us.. :cry: I really miss him. Sky is the only place I could see Michael

[*Billie Jean*]

Hugs to everyone on here. Reading the messages that everyone writes, gives me great comfort in knowing I'm am not alone. We are not alone, we all have each other to comfort and console in this horrific time. :depressed: I'm crying so much right now. My head hurts from crying. I just don't know how I can go on living without the love of my life. Michael was everything to me. I just feel so numb and sick. I'm still in denial about the whole thing. It just feels like I'm stuck in a sick and twisted nightmare that I can't wake from. I dunno what to do with myself. I don't seem to be bothered about anything. Yesterday I had a thought that I wouldn't care if I was to die cos I'd be with Michael. I can't get over this. I'm so depressed and confused.

As days go by, pain gets deeper and deeper. I have learned to live in sorrow, a hidden sorrow that people around me can't see. I act so normal I amaze myself. But as soon as I'm alone I break into pieces. Painful as it is, there has to be a way and a reason to carry on. Michael PLEASE give me a sign that you are here with me. :weeping:

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

Thanks to all of you for your support and kindness. It helps. But I'm getting worse not better. This hole in my heart keeps on getting bigger and bigger... I can't even explain but I'm sure everyone knows how that feels. I feel like I'm going crazy, I can't stop crying it's like I'm back to day one. I feel like I'm never gonna get better... I've heard people saying that they are broken hearted. But I never thought I would literaly feel my chest hurt so much, my heart ache this way...I have such chest pains and my eyes can't stop burning. I miss Michael so much it's unbearable.... I really don't know how to go on.. today felt so empty. People must think I'm strange because I'm often just bursting out into tears and finding it hard to keep my head up. I can't stop loving him and wanting to be with him. It's not fair! :weeping:

:huggy: I know how you feel Billie I too feel the same way. And it really is unfair that we are not with him. When I get up in the mornings now I have to really force myself to get up. Because I just really hate having to face another horrible day without our Michael in it. And I just spend my days and nights constantly thinking about him. While always feeling tired, sad, miserable, and depressed. Plus I am always feeling sick because my depression is always making me feel sick. I miss Michael Michael more than anything. But I just so badly want to be with him even more. In a way I am kind of thankful Dr. Death has shorten my life span. Cause he has put me in to a state of deep depression and sadness. By killing our dear sweet Michael. It really doesn't matter to me anymore. Because the sooner I die is the sooner I will be with my Michael. And from what I had read depression can shorten your life.

[*Billie Jean*]

I miss you so much, my love.

I can't take it anymore.
I wish it was me instead of you.

My life would not be missed.

Well, since you went first, can you take me with you ?

I really don't want to be here anymore. I hate this world so much, its driving me insane.

I know suicide isn't the answer and I don't want to kill myself ..

Yet, I wish I had some Diprivan, Demerol or whatever, if you could promise me there would be no pain.

:weeping:

[bubbyduck4MJ]

I miss you Michael :weeping:

[Louise.]

Oh Michael, I miss you. :cry:

[thrillerchild]

:weeping:

[*Billie Jean*]

When will the crying stop, Michael? I miss you so much it's killing me slowly. :weeping:

[smile4mj]

When will the crying stop, Michael? I miss you so much it's killing me slowly. :weeping:

*group hugs to everyone*
I'm so glad that this thread was created so we could all share all the pain we endured, the thoughts and how we miss Michael since his passing. It could at least lessen a bit of my pain and hopefully to everyone here.. This is a place for us..it's forever..To be honest, I doubt I'll stop crying or missing Michael. Time wont heal for me. He was such an impact for me that everything around me seemed invisible except my family and him.

Michael revisited me yesterday in my dream.Michael gave me listen tot his new video of WATW and sang in his demo. I cant believe it myself too. It was beautiful and without realising, I was crying in my dream already. I miss you so much Michael, my heart is aching crazily like everyone here since the day you left us.. :cry: why? why now ?

[*Billie Jean*]

^ I too had a dream about Michael last night. Me and Michael were on a train, he was sat near the window with a blanket around him and he was reading, and I was sat next to him. I remember at first we didn't talk, Michael just kept reading. After a while, I notiched he fell asleep, I got up, took the book out of his hand and as doing so, he awoke and smiled at me while half asleep. He took the book back off me and he finally spoke, he said "honey, come here" I moved closer to him and he wrapped his blanket around the both of us and the with his hand, he pulled me close to him to snuggle with him as he started reading again and again I woke up. :(

Michael please come back some how. I miss you more than anything. My heart has gone with you, my love. Reading some of the posts in this thread breaks me into pieces. :weeping:

[darlingdear]

I miss you, MJ.
More than I can ever find the words to describe.

:cry:

[smile4mj]

^ I too had a dream about Michael last night. Me and Michael were on a train, he was sat near the window with a blanket around him and he was reading, and I was sat next to him. I remember at first we didn't talk, Michael just kept reading. After a while, I notiched he fell asleep, I got up, took the book out of his hand and as doing so, he awoke and smiled at me while half asleep. He took the book back off me and he finally spoke, he said "honey, come here" I moved closer to him and he wrapped his blanket around the both of us and the with his hand, he pulled me close to him to snuggle with him as he started reading again and again I woke up. :(

Michael please come back some how. I miss you more than anything. My heart has gone with you, my love. Reading some of the posts in this thread breaks me into pieces. :weeping:

Dear, Michael got your prayers and he visited you in dream. This showed that Michael loves you a lot *hugs*

[*Billie Jean*]

^ I know he loves me. But he could never love me more than I love him. I don't even know what to do without Michael. Life doesn't make sense without him. I feel like the world is going on without me and I stopped living on June 25th 2009.

Nothing matters to me anymore. I try to remember what things I was interested in before he died, and my mind just draws a blank. Nothing matters. People say that time is a healer but I feel like everyday gets worse. I just think that each day that passes is another day he hasn't been on this planet and it kills me.

I can't eat, I can't sleep. One minute I think I am fine and the next minute I just burst into tears. I've been to the doctor and told him that someone close to me has died and I can't cope. I have been put on anti depressants and sleeping pills but it doesn't help. I don't feel any better and I still only sleep for about 3 hours each night.

My family have mostly been supportive, but they are saying now "It's time to move on" GOD!! I HATE that phrase. I can't move on, more than that, I don't WANT to move on. Michael was everything to me, he still is everything to me. He was there for me when nobody else in the world was. I knew he loved me and cared for me. I feel that I lost my soulmate on that really horrible day. The love of my life left me that day and took my heart with him.

I just miss him so, so terribly. I can listen to some of his music, but certain songs just tear me up. I go bed with my mp3 player filled with his songs, and hug a picture I have of him, and just cry and cry. I am heartbroken. I told my dad I feel like I've been widowed. My dad just laughed but it's true. I could relate to Michael more than I can relate to anyone else. A lot of the things he suffered in life, I have suffered with too. I really felt like he was my soulmate, I just love him so, so much, he was my treasure, a precious little gift from God that I adored. I prayed daily that God would grant me my wish to marry him. It hurts so badly that he's gone.

I just wish I had something that he touched so I could feel close to him. I wish he knew how much I love him and how much I miss him. I made a T-shirt which I wear all the time now. It has his picture on the front with the words "I love you apple head" people look at me weird when they see it but I don't care.

I just miss him so much; I wish this pain would stop. Having nobody to talk to doesn't help either. I try to talk about it to my mum but she said to me "The man was just an accident waiting to happen." I love my mum but I wanted to slap her for saying that.

Sorry for the long post. I just needed to offload. :weeping:

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

^ I know he loves me. But he could never love me more than I love him. I don't even know what to do without Michael. Life doesn't make sense without him. I feel like the world is going on without me and I stopped living on June 25th 2009.

Nothing matters to me anymore. I try to remember what things I was interested in before he died, and my mind just draws a blank. Nothing matters. People say that time is a healer but I feel like everyday gets worse. I just think that each day that passes is another day he hasn't been on this planet and it kills me.

I can't eat, I can't sleep. One minute I think I am fine and the next minute I just burst into tears. I've been to the doctor and told him that someone close to me has died and I can't cope. I have been put on anti depressants and sleeping pills but it doesn't help. I don't feel any better and I still only sleep for about 3 hours each night.

My family have mostly been supportive, but they are saying now "It's time to move on" GOD!! I HATE that phrase. I can't move on, more than that, I don't WANT to move on. Michael was everything to me, he still is everything to me. He was there for me when nobody else in the world was. I knew he loved me and cared for me. I feel that I lost my soulmate on that really horrible day. The love of my life left me that day and took my heart with him.

I just miss him so, so terribly. I can listen to some of his music, but certain songs just tear me up. I go bed with my mp3 player filled with his songs, and hug a picture I have of him, and just cry and cry. I am heartbroken. I told my dad I feel like I've been widowed. My dad just laughed but it's true. I could relate to Michael more than I can relate to anyone else. A lot of the things he suffered in life, I have suffered with too. I really felt like he was my soulmate, I just love him so, so much, he was my treasure, a precious little gift from God that I adored. I prayed daily that God would grant me my wish to marry him. It hurts so badly that he's gone.

I just wish I had something that he touched so I could feel close to him. I wish he knew how much I love him and how much I miss him. I made a T-shirt which I wear all the time now. It has his picture on the front with the words "I love you apple head" people look at me weird when they see it but I don't care.

I just miss him so much; I wish this pain would stop. Having nobody to talk to doesn't help either. I try to talk about it to my mum but she said to me "The man was just an accident waiting to happen." I love my mum but I wanted to slap her for saying that.

Sorry for the long post. I just needed to offload. :weeping:

Billie Jean I know just how you feel. I feel the exact same way. Except that I don't have a supportive family at all. I wish I did though. I remember back in July my mother threatened to have me committed if I didn't get over Michael's death in 2 weeks. She didn't see the look I gave her because her back was turn to me. But I thought to myself how the freaking hell can I get over someone. That I spent nearly 30 years of my life loving. So technically I am forced to have like this double life now. When I am around other people I have to act all find and normal. But only when I am alone is when I am crying and missing him badly. My depression and sadness is so bad now that now no matter how hard I try I can not snap myself out of it. I am not even interested in some of the things that I used to love. Like watching the Olympics. I am watching them but I am really not that interested in them anymore. And in the past I used to get really happy and excited when it gets closer and closer to the Olympics. And my eyes are like glue to the tv. When they are on. But now it is like who cares what country won what medal. And in the past I would always be for the countries I am part of. Which is Germany, Russia, Poland, England, Scotland, and Ireland. But it is mostly Russia I am really am for. Instead of being for my own country the United States. But it is not like that for anymore. There are only 2 things now that really interests me and that is sleeping and drinking tea. Sleep brings me such great comfort to me anymore. And helps me take my mind off of Michael. Which is why I can't wait to get under my Michael Jackson blanket. And tea really tends to soothes and relax me. I really need my tea anymore. Especially my Jasmine green tea which I prefer now over my black tea. There are no words in any language that can even begin to describe of much I truly miss Michael. A huge part of me died with him on that really horrible day. And I am never ever going to get that part of myself back.

[MJfan10]

^ I know he loves me. But he could never love me more than I love him. I don't even know what to do without Michael. Life doesn't make sense without him. I feel like the world is going on without me and I stopped living on June 25th 2009.

Nothing matters to me anymore. I try to remember what things I was interested in before he died, and my mind just draws a blank. Nothing matters. People say that time is a healer but I feel like everyday gets worse. I just think that each day that passes is another day he hasn't been on this planet and it kills me.

I can't eat, I can't sleep. One minute I think I am fine and the next minute I just burst into tears. I've been to the doctor and told him that someone close to me has died and I can't cope. I have been put on anti depressants and sleeping pills but it doesn't help. I don't feel any better and I still only sleep for about 3 hours each night.

My family have mostly been supportive, but they are saying now "It's time to move on" GOD!! I HATE that phrase. I can't move on, more than that, I don't WANT to move on. Michael was everything to me, he still is everything to me. He was there for me when nobody else in the world was. I knew he loved me and cared for me. I feel that I lost my soulmate on that really horrible day. The love of my life left me that day and took my heart with him.

I just miss him so, so terribly. I can listen to some of his music, but certain songs just tear me up. I go bed with my mp3 player filled with his songs, and hug a picture I have of him, and just cry and cry. I am heartbroken. I told my dad I feel like I've been widowed. My dad just laughed but it's true. I could relate to Michael more than I can relate to anyone else. A lot of the things he suffered in life, I have suffered with too. I really felt like he was my soulmate, I just love him so, so much, he was my treasure, a precious little gift from God that I adored. I prayed daily that God would grant me my wish to marry him. It hurts so badly that he's gone.

I just wish I had something that he touched so I could feel close to him. I wish he knew how much I love him and how much I miss him. I made a T-shirt which I wear all the time now. It has his picture on the front with the words "I love you apple head" people look at me weird when they see it but I don't care.

I just miss him so much; I wish this pain would stop. Having nobody to talk to doesn't help either. I try to talk about it to my mum but she said to me "The man was just an accident waiting to happen." I love my mum but I wanted to slap her for saying that.

Sorry for the long post. I just needed to offload. :weeping:

I know exactly how you feel. Hugs to you and everyone. :hug: I've never been the same since that day too. I just don't understand how to move on or cope. I always find myself back to the same spot. One minute I'm ok and thinking I'm better and the next I'm feel down again.

I can't focus on anything at all, even my university work. I'm down most of the time.

Michael means everything to me and I feel so empty without him.

My mum has been supportive through the whole thing and she knows how I feel, but she doesn't know how deep it has actually affected me. I can't even talk about it because I just end up in tears, just even if his name is mentioned. I feel that some people just wouldn't understand.

I can relate to Michael too. I've been though some things that he has. People not understanding me.

The only time I feel better is when I'm listening to his music and just tunning into his voice.

As I type this my heart is aching for him so much and it hurts so bad.

I love him so much, I can't even explain it.

I miss you Michael and I will love you always no matter what.

EDIT: Sometimes it's so bad that I feel like ripping my heart out because it's just too much. :weeping:

[*Billie Jean*]

I think people don't understand when you tell them how you feel. Whenever I start feeling sad and depressed, I sit down and write out the feelings that are filling my soul. I also play piano, it helps me, to me it's like talking to someone about why I'm depressed.

I feel so empty and numb inside. I spend all day watching videos of him and listening to his music. I can't stop crying. Really can't. :weeping: I haven't eaten or slept properly since he went and I just feel so, so weak and tired. I'm just waiting to wake up and for this horrible nightmare to end.

I have never felt a pain like this, it hurts so much I feel like it's killing me. To be honest I feel so, so heartbroken, I have dark thoughts, but I think of how dissapointed Michael would be in me if I ended it. I have to be strong for him, and live for him. I will love him forever, he means more to me than anything in the world. This is just so, so painful, I don't know how to move on, I don't want to move on, I can't let him go. I just can't cope, this pain hurts so much. :weeping:

[RockWithYou28]

I think people don't understand when you tell them how you feel. Whenever I start feeling sad and depressed, I sit down and write out the feelings that are filling my soul. I also play piano, it helps me, to me it's like talking to someone about why I'm depressed.

I feel so empty and numb inside. I spend all day watching videos of him and listening to his music. I can't stop crying. Really can't. :weeping: I haven't eaten or slept properly since he went and I just feel so, so weak and tired. I'm just waiting to wake up and for this horrible nightmare to end.

I have never felt a pain like this, it hurts so much I feel like it's killing me. To be honest I feel so, so heartbroken, I have dark thoughts, but I think of how dissapointed Michael would be in me if I ended it. I have to be strong for him, and live for him. I will love him forever, he means more to me than anything in the world. This is just so, so painful, I don't know how to move on, I don't want to move on, I can't let him go. I just can't cope, this pain hurts so much. :weeping:


Oh sweetie your posts bring tears to my eyes, grief is the worst thing one can possibly have to suffer through, and it makes all the worse that Michael was truly an angel on this Earth and he shouldn't have left us.

Finding an outlet like writing and playing music is surely soothing for the soul.
Michael would be devastated if anyone took their life mourning him. He NEEDS us to be strong. And he NEEDS us here to carry on his music, legacy and message of love and peace.

If Michael was able to weather all the trials in his life, and remain a strong and positive individual, then we must as well. We owe that to him after all he has given us in his lifetime. But know you are not alone in your deep and dark pain, thank God for this forum, that we have each other to lean on for support. Everyone here can understand and relate to how you feel. :huggy: to you and I am always here to talk to if you need me.

[*Billie Jean*]

Oh sweetie your posts bring tears to my eyes, grief is the worst thing one can possibly have to suffer through, and it makes all the worse that Michael was truly an angel on this Earth and he shouldn't have left us.

Finding an outlet like writing and playing music is surely soothing for the soul.
Michael would be devastated if anyone took their life mourning him. He NEEDS us to be strong. And he NEEDS us here to carry on his music, legacy and message of love and peace.

If Michael was able to weather all the trials in his life, and remain a strong and positive individual, then we must as well. We owe that to him after all he has given us in his lifetime. But know you are not alone in your deep and dark pain, thank God for this forum, that we have each other to lean on for support. Everyone here can understand and relate to how you feel. :huggy: to you and I am always here to talk to if you need me.
Thank you sweetie, I really needed to hear that ((hugs)). Today started off sad and just became progressively worse. The crying intensified and the darkness I felt on such a sunny day was almost unbearable. I did not have good thoughts. I miss Michael more than words can express. Not having people to talk to who understand is the hardest part. I have lost family members before but I could cope because my whole family were united in grief, but now, I am the only one grieving, and no one wants to even try to understand. They just see me as a crazed fan, but to me it was deeper than that. Michael was the love of my life. Without him I have nothing to be happy about. Or look forward to. I am so numb....so numb. My life is so focused on him and nothing else matters. God, I miss him so much. I would give my own life if I could just give him back to all of us.

I have passed through the last eigth months as if I'm in a kind of fog......my world seems strangely unbalanced. I think of Michael every single day....he's still my first thought in the morning when I awake and he is my last thought at night, as I lie down to sleep. Eigth months doesn't feel a long time to me....it is still very fresh and raw.......I'm not ready to let him go......I am holding on very, very tight. I play his music and watch his DVDs every day....I am surrounded by pictures and posters, books, T-shirts. I just can't stop crying, I can't eat or sleep. My doctor has put me on anti depressants, so he at least understood a bit. People say each day gets better, but in my opinion it only get worse. Another day without michael. It still does not seem real. I dont think I can ever accept that I will never see his beautiful face again. It hurts so much... I just can't accept it. :weeping:

[*Billie Jean*]

Everyday, I try not to cry Michael but it's failing me. I know you would want us to not mourn for you but celebrate and carry on learning the messages you left in your music. I feel like I'm being selfish for not letting you go. You need to understand that you totally didn't need to go just in a "puff".

Today, I missed you more than yesterday, but tomorrow I will miss you more than today.

:boohoo:...Goodness, couldn't I be any more depressed today?

[*Billie Jean*]

http://i637.photobucket.com/albums/uu95/reetalicious/random/mjjchunt.jpg
I Wish You Were Here...

Sit alone here, I'm missing you
I tried so hard to smile
I wipe my tears, wishing my wish to be true
Hoping I'll see you after this while

.The moon sparkles, shining in the water so bright
.O'er the dusty, warm green plains.
.The forest trees, and the smokey breeze
.All whispering your name.

Oh, How they wish you were here
to hear what they have too say
As they bless and cradle you into sleep
captivating in their own merry way.
.Oh, How I wish you were here
.Oh, How I wish you could stay
.Oh, How I wish you could hear me
.Oh, How I wish you were near me.

See your face, everytime I close my eyes
The distance hurts me still
I hear the songbird's words of hypnotize
yet, I dream with my will.

.I know I sound insecure
.But I'll be alright in awhile
.Keep your picture close to me
.There's just a thousand more miles.

Oh, How I wish you were here
Oh, How I wish you could say
Oh, How I wish you could hear me
Oh, How I wish you were near me.
.And I'm so afraid of the fear
.Try not to let myself stay awake
.Forever lost, in your dreams
.Forever lost, in your memories...

[Darvon1982]

i still miss him so much... :(

[Cinnamon234]

I'm having a hard time today. MJ's death is hitting me hard today.


I #*$&# MISS HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO unfair that such a beautiful, talented and gentle soul is no longer here

*Crying*

Please, please! I wish he could come back

[darlingdear]

I miss you MJ, so badly. :cry:
I got excited about the dvd release of TII.
Getting excited with my friends.
Then it hit me like a punch in the gut. :cry: And my heart sank.
I miss you so, so much Michael.
I already asked you today but please..please..come back.
I miss you. We all miss you. So so so so much.
:pray: :cry:

[MJJ7777]

I was practicing on the piano today and realized that the possibility of you playing music at the same time as myself on the other side of the states...is impossible now that you're gone. :cry:

I wish you were here.:(

[*Billie Jean*]

I love you
I miss you
If only I could lay my eyes on you just for once and tell you.
So that you took my love with you when you were gone.

:boohoo:

[*Billie Jean*]

http://i817.photobucket.com/albums/zz98/_Aishiteru_/Michael/1608r34.jpg


:weeping: :weeping: :weeping:

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

I still miss Michael more than words can ever describe. I am starting to cry over him again. And I had just gotten up over an hour ago. I am sure I am going to be a real mess this Thursday at 6:30 pm. Cause it will be exactly 8 months. And I am trying so hard not to think about it. But it just can't be helped. I still so badly wish that I was the one that died that horrible day instead of Michael. I just want Michael back so very badly. So I can finally stopped my constant crying. I know I am going to be mourning for him for the rest of my life. And I have gotten quite used to it. Especially since being happy or any feelings similar to happy. Is something I am never going to know anymore.

[*Billie Jean*]

^ I feel the same. I miss him terribly, and I love him more than words can possibly express. I've never felt pain like this. Some days are better than others but even those days are tough. I don't think it will ever get any easier. I am just learning how to live with the pain and sorrow. I still cry everyday and I think I will for the rest of my life. When I get to crying my heart hurts, literally, I get a pain in my chest and have to stop crying and calm down. My head feels like it will explode.

This is the worst agony I've ever felt. I felt sadness during his trial, but nothing like this. I built my whole life around him. Michael is the love of my life and I love him unconditionally. He is the only man I fell in love with and the only man I had a crush on. I would constantly fantasize about what it would be like to marry him and how our first kiss would go. I felt and still feel such a deep connection to him like that between a husband and wife. It might sound crazy but I really feel like I lost a husband. I've never loved anyone the way I love him and probably never will. I just wish so badly I could take some Diprivan, Demerol or whatever so I can sleep forever and be with Michael. Cause that is where I want to be so badly. I just hate so much living in a world without him in it. He is all that I want. He is all that I need. I just want to die and be with him forever. :weeping:

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

You sound exactly the way I feel Billie Jean. I remember back on November 18th 2003 I had spent almost that entire week crying almost non stop. When I had heard the horrible news about Michael. I was totally reliving the whole 93 nightmare all over again. And I remember the entire 93 nightmare like it happen yesterday. I should seeing I was 13 years old then. But on that August day when I had heard the news I was in my bed sick with a horrible cold when I had heard the horrible news. But when I had heard the news in November of 2003. I wasn't sick but on the 2nd Saturday in December of 2003 I literally made myself extremely sick. All over what was going on with Michael then. I was forced to spend rest of that Saturday in bed. I was that sick. And I was sick again with a horrible cold about a month or so before Michael was to be found 100% innocent. But this is like 10 times worst than I had felt back then. This horrible feeling and this horrible pain is never ever going to go away for me. This Thursday at 6:30 pm it is going to be exactly 8 months when I had heard the worst news in my entire life. And I still feel exactly the same way. And I thought back in December I was doing better. Because there was that 1 day I didn't cry over Michael at all. Maybe it was probably because I had felt too tired to cry over him. And there was a couple of days (Not together) in that month. Where I barely cried over him at all. But now I am back to how I was feeling during that horrible summer. I know it is never going to get any better for me. Not when every single thing that I read, see, hear, and do reminds me of Michael in some way. And every single time I see or hear a certain past date before June 25th. My brain automatically makes me think how much longer I was going to have my Michael. And it just makes me cry over him all over again. I so wish I had kept my suicide promise that I had made back in December of 95. When Michael was really sick in the hospital. Because if I had I would be dead now. And I will not be going through this constant torturous hell now. I really am just so very sick and tired living in a world without my Michael in it. All I want now is to be forever with him. And just be really genuinely happy again. Instead of always being sad, miserable, tired, sick, and depressed.

[*Billie Jean*]

^ I know, Jenn. Let me tell you when the 2nd allegations came out. It was reliving 1993 all over again for me too. It was so horrible back then. And I was also sick and I cried almost non-stop for months. Cause I just couldn't believe this was happening again. Michael would never ever hurt a child why can't these horrible people see that. Seeing Michael in handcuffs really did hurt. But what really broke my heart was when I saw that huge horrible bruise on Michael's arm. I was so angry and upset at the people that hurt my beloved Michael. I am crying now just thinking about that. That they would hurt someone like Michael. Who is nothing but a true angel. He lived a tortured life since he was a child. I pray to God that he finally has found the peace he deserves. This is truly devastating.

Words just cannot express the emotions I am feeling at this time. I honestly don't know how much more of this depression and sadness I can take. I'm starting to feel like people around me are slowly backing away from the "I'm so sorry he passed away" stance. I may act like I'm less depressed, but deep down, I feel just as terrible as I've been the entire time. I'm crying so hard right now. Maybe I should just go to sleep because the pain is just too much right now.... :weeping:

[*Billie Jean*]

It's so hard, Michael! I don't know whether it is going to be better someday. How can it be better if we all know that you won't come back! I cry everyday, and I cannot do anything about it. Sorry, my sweetheart! :weeping:

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

^ I know, Jenn. Let me tell you when the 2nd allegations came out. It was reliving 1993 all over again for me too. It was so horrible back then. And I was also sick and I cried almost non-stop for months. Cause I just couldn't believe this was happening again. Michael would never ever hurt a child why can't these horrible people see that. Seeing Michael in handcuffs really did hurt. But what really broke my heart was when I saw that huge horrible bruise on Michael's arm. I was so angry and upset at the people that hurt my beloved Michael. I am crying now just thinking about that. That they would hurt someone like Michael. Who is nothing but a true angel. He lived a tortured life since he was a child. I pray to God that he finally has found the peace he deserves. This is truly devastating.

Words just cannot express the emotions I am feeling at this time. I honestly don't know how much more of this depression and sadness I can take. I'm starting to feel like people around me are slowly backing away from the "I'm so sorry he passed away" stance. I may act like I'm less depressed, but deep down, I feel just as terrible as I've been the entire time. I'm crying so hard right now. Maybe I should just go to sleep because the pain is just too much right now.... :weeping:

I feel the same way Billie Jean. Seeing Michael in handcuffs and then seeing that horrible huge bruise on Michael's arm just totally broke my heart. And it really made me angry that they would do that to someone like Michael. Who has always been a 100% true angel. I just hope that God gives them the ultimate punishment that they so badly deserve. For hurting our dear sweet Michael over the years. I really do hope that. Especially since I have gone back to believing in God and Jesus again.

[*Billie Jean*]

I feel the same way Billie Jean. Seeing Michael in handcuffs and then seeing that horrible huge bruise on Michael's arm just totally broke my heart. And it really made me angry that they would do that to someone like Michael. Who has always been a 100% true angel. I just hope that God gives them the ultimate punishment that they so badly deserve. For hurting our dear sweet Michael over the years. I really do hope that. Especially since I have gone back to believing in God and Jesus again.
Yes, I feel the same way. I remember being in tears when I watched "60 Minutes" interview and Michael saying how they locked him in the bathroom, etc.. I was just crying.. you could see the pain in his eyes. His eyes looked like he wasn't quite there, like he was in pain. It is was just so heartbreaking to see my poor Michael in pain. I so wanted to hurt the people that hurt my beloved sweet angel. :cry: I am like a real emotional mess right now just thinking about that. I just want him back so very badly. The world is different now.......and it will never be the same again. :weeping:

[Dutchie]

I really thought I was doing better until recently. I've stopped playing Michael's music, I can't watch any videos of him, and I just feel very, very sad every single day. I was talking to a very dear friend the other day who is also a huge MJ fan and I found I had trouble containing myself when talking about Michael. I was ready to burst out in tears. For some reason it seems to be getting harder for me. The first few months after Michael passed I was so busy comforting others and being angry about it all....and now it's just....I don't know.

To know that all Michael wanted was to bring love and try to heal the world through his music, through his fame, yet all people gave back to him was prejudice, ignorance and greed. All Michael wanted was to be loved, for who he was and for what he did. And the world hurt him, time after time. Michael was lonely. But his fans, we loved him, so much, in so many ways. Yet I don't think it was enough. I want Michael to come back :cry:

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

Yes, I feel the same way. I remember being in tears when I watched "60 Minutes" interview and Michael saying how they locked him in the bathroom, etc.. I was just crying.. you could see the pain in his eyes. His eyes looked like he wasn't quite there, like he was in pain. It is was just so heartbreaking to see my poor Michael in pain. I so wanted to hurt the people that hurt my beloved sweet angel. :cry: I am like a real emotional mess right now just thinking about that. I just want him back so very badly. The world is different now.......and it will never be the same again. :weeping:

I so agree with you. As upset as I was when I saw that horrible bruise. I was also boiling with anger that they would hurt my Michael like that. I so badly wanted to go to California and really hurt the people that did that to him. But most of all I had wanted to hurt Tom Sneddon. For doing this to Michael again. But since I couldn't hurt him personally. I took my anger out on a picture of him. By drawing a picture of him behind bars. And I also did this old wild west style wanted poster of him and Diane Diamond. The 2 of the people that had hurt Michael the most. I still have those pictures that I did of them in my photo bucket account. But believe me they totally deserve it for what they had done to our beloved Michael. And I so totally agree with you the world really is just so different without Michael in it now. You know I have such a huge love for old Hollywood movies. And I often wonder before this ever happen to Michael. Of how different the world was back then. Long before Michael was ever born and became really famous. In a way I know what it was like back then. Except that I had live during his time and I am very grateful for that. But it really is such a very sad and very empty world now with out him in it. I just so badly want him back now. And I would give anything in this entire world to have him back. :cry: Especially to see a new picture of Michael's zillion dollar smile. And it just really, really hurts knowing. That I am never ever going to see any new pictures of Michael's gorgeously beautiful smile. That could light up the entire universe. :weeping: :boohoo:

[smile4mj]

^ I know, Jenn. Let me tell you when the 2nd allegations came out. It was reliving 1993 all over again for me too. It was so horrible back then. And I was also sick and I cried almost non-stop for months. Cause I just couldn't believe this was happening again. Michael would never ever hurt a child why can't these horrible people see that. Seeing Michael in handcuffs really did hurt. But what really broke my heart was when I saw that huge horrible bruise on Michael's arm. I was so angry and upset at the people that hurt my beloved Michael. I am crying now just thinking about that. That they would hurt someone like Michael. Who is nothing but a true angel. He lived a tortured life since he was a child. I pray to God that he finally has found the peace he deserves. This is truly devastating.

*hugs BillieJean* *hugs everyone* :cry:
that bruise on his arm.. I'll never forget :cry: The way Michael showed and talked about bruise and locked in dirty toilet to the interviewer broke my heart to pcs too. I cant believe they treated Michael like this. I still cant. I always avoid that interview. I cant bear to watch his sad looking face and voice. It just wasnt him.The media, the police, ppl who betrayed him made him like this.. and I really hate them !In the 80s, they treated Michael quite good really and after one allegation, they treated Michael like that :cry: It wasnt fair !! Why cant they treat Michael better ?? Why ? Michael poured so much heart and soul to the world with music and charities and those cruel things were what they returned him.I always watch Michael's 70s and 80s interviews because I could see Michael was at least happier :weeping: I hope we could go back time and bring Michael alive and make him more happier..give him all he needed.. a better childhood. Avoid all the bad events and he could have a better life.. :cry:

Now Michael, you are at the most beautiful place ever.. we all miss you dearly..
One day, we'll all come and see you and I cant wait for this day to come to reunite with you and my love one

[*Billie Jean*]

I just so badly want him back now. And I would give anything in this entire world to have him back. :cry: Especially to see a new picture of Michael's zillion dollar smile. And it just really, really hurts knowing. That I am never ever going to see any new pictures of Michael's gorgeously beautiful smile. That could light up the entire universe. :weeping: :boohoo:
I feel the same. That is one of the things about Michael that kills me. That and that wonderful laugh of his. I am crying now just thinking about that smile and his laugh. :cry:

I am feeling awful today..I can't believe it's been 8 months, the days drag on and on and I've lost all concept of time and it's been the worse 8 months of my entire life. I feel like time stopped. I can barely recall what I did for the past 8 months because I can't believe it has been that long. It all seems like a blur. My life stopped on June 25th, 2009. But one thing I know for sure is that...my tears have not stopped falling..... The pain grows deeper inside me. I feel like I can't go on.. :weeping:


*hugs BillieJean* *hugs everyone* :cry:


Thank you. :hug:

[*Billie Jean*]

This may sound morbid, but everyday that comes bring us closer to seeing Michael again (in Heaven!!!). So everynight, I keep that thought and it comforts me. Because I know that each day is one day nearer to him...

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

I feel the same. That is one of the things about Michael that kills me. That and that wonderful laugh of his. I am crying now just thinking about that smile and his laugh. :cry:

I am feeling awful today..I can't believe it's been 8 months, the days drag on and on and I've lost all concept of time and it's been the worse 8 months of my entire life. I feel like time stopped. I can barely recall what I did for the past 8 months because I can't believe it has been that long. It all seems like a blur. My life stopped on June 25th, 2009. But one thing I know for sure is that...my tears have not stopped falling..... The pain grows deeper inside me. I feel like I can't go on.. :weeping:



Thank you. :hug:

I feel the exact same way Billie Jean. I can only remember very little during these past horrible months. During that first horrible month I had spent most of it in my MJ room in bed. Mostly sleeping because I just didn't want to think about where he was when I was awake. I was so thankful that I had my laptop. In my bed with me so I could still be in my MJ sites and not have to leave my bed. I even practically starved myself during that first horrible month. Because I barely ate anything. I probably lost over 30 or 40 pounds during that month alone. Because eating was the very last thing in the world I had wanted to do. Of course I had hated that July month not because Michael's Memorial Service was in that month. 2 days before the date of the memorial. It was my brother's 32nd birthday and I was forced to celebrate it. When I was in no celebrating mood at all. Especially knowing what was going to be happening in 2 days. All I wanted to do is be in my room in my bed sleeping. Then on that weekend I had to go to my brother's house to celebrate my older nephew's 3rd birthday. I just couldn't wait to get home and back in to my bed. Where I had wanted to be. That 1 week in July was really rough for me. So has the rest of these past horrible days. Thank god I don't remember most of them. And my tears still constantly flow for him a few times a so every day since that horrible day.

[*Billie Jean*]

^ I know exactly how you feel, Jenn! :hug:

I've reached a point just now where I don't care for my pain, anguish...... etc. I just care for Michael and his peace. My chest hurts with grief and love. I've never felt this desperate ever. But I will let myself hurt. I don't care any longer.

I am extremely sad right now. It just hit me again... he's gone. The love of my life. And now I can't stop crying. I miss him so much, my heart is aching. I just keep listening to Speechless over and over and I can't stop.. :weeping:

I love you Michael, more than anyone can ever imagine and more than words can say...

[Billie_Jean09]

This may sound morbid, but everyday that comes bring us closer to seeing Michael again (in Heaven!!!). So everynight, I keep that thought and it comforts me. Because I know that each day is one day nearer to him...

Oh I know what you mean with this thought. These past few nights since getting my TII dvd I havent been able to have dry eyes at all.:(
I have been crying so much that my eyes are stinging and my head is throbbing, and I regret so very very much not having seen Michael perform live in concert, for which I have no excuse at all since I am old enough to have seen him several times over:(

I dont mean to sound morbid either as I have supposedly so much to live for, but I also found myself thinking just a few mins ago that at least I take comfort from the fact that I will see him one day.............:wub::wub::wub:

[thrillerchild]

Three of us saw some of your possessions for the last time Michael. Looking around the exhibition seeing you singing, dancing, feeling the music as it pulsed through your body made me feel even more detached from myself inside :( Will I ever be the same? No is the short answer. I miss you so much each and everyday michael thst I sometimes make myself disorientated with it all. I just wish I could've reached out and touch it. Whist standing infront of your HIStory outfit I closed my eyes and could hear the roar of the crowd at Wembley as clear as day in my mind :'(

The pain is not getting easier but I am finding it easier to cope with that pain. You bring me so much joy looking at that smile on your face.

*sigh* :cry:

[Beccabubbles]

I just cant deal with this.
Its too much.
:boohoo:

[Michael Jackson Moonwalk]

I feel like this is some effed up bubble we are all living in and I can't envisage ANYTHING in the long-term. Like I can't imagine a time when I will wake up and won't immediately think of Michael. Or how about in a year's time? Or even worse, in 10 years, knowing we've been without him for so long. I just feel like I'm stuck here, in this vile moment when everything seems so vacuous and empty, and I'm never going to move on from it. Like I've said lots of times already, I don't want to get to a point where I 'come to terms with it' or that time 'heals' these raw feelings because I just refuse to accept that what has happened can be moved on from (for me at least).

I can't understand everything. I keep thinking 'this time X months ago' and right now to imagine that 7 months ago I was more excited and positive than I've ever been in my life, planning my banner and clothes and hotel and everything for seeing him, and in such a short amount of time since then I've taken in this news, flown to LA and watched them wheel the love of my life away from me in a casket and flown home to try to take in everything I witnessed there and deal with the news back in the 'normal' world (and then all the sh!t that has happened while/because I've tried to deal with this mess!), well it's just so messed up I just feel like I'm floating along in some wierd twilight zone. How can THIS be the reality now? I can't figure it out, and I don't know how to begin dealing with it.

Sorry for crapping on and on and on, I'm just having a wierd night thinking things over and over and driving myself crazy. I can't believe how much I miss him. I love him so much it hurts ... :weeping:

Billie, oh Billie.......
I feel exactly the same way, 8 months ago, I was THE happiest, most positive person in the WORLD and excited to the point of having a fit. I was actually preparing my concert outfit when the nightmare began to unfold...
Right now it feels so surreal, I tried to deny this and pushed it all into my subconcious mind for about 2-3 months....I've avoided this forum, haven't watched Michael or listened to his music although I think about him every single day. I was trying to escape, trying to cope, deny it and be NORMAL. I tiried to numb eveything out. I didnt want anyone to talk to me about him, I didnt want to discuss or see him on TV when others were around. I became very defensive and recluisve and tried to deny EVERYTHING. But the lid has lifted, and again I can feel the reality...the incredible gaping hole, his terrible absence. I just feel that life, and everything is empty without him, useless and pointless, like you've said in your post above. How to understand and move on from this? How to believe in GOODNESS, TRUTH and LOVE, when there is PAIN, UNEXPLAINED SUFFERING and INJUSTICE everywhere??
I can't believe you went to LA for the memorial, I feel your pain when you say that you watched them 'wheel him away'.... :weeping: I'm so speechless and lost right now....

[Michael Jackson Moonwalk]

I just cant deal with this.
Its too much.
:boohoo:

Im sorry you're hurting, I feel useless right now too. It's like the reality is staring me in the face, and I've tried hard to escape from it for months but it's impossible. There's a big, huge absence from existence, it's awful and endless it seems...sorry, I'm not helping am I? :better: sending you my love :heart:

[*Billie Jean*]

Billie, oh Billie.......
I feel exactly the same way, 8 months ago, I was THE happiest, most positive person in the WORLD and excited to the point of having a fit. I was actually preparing my concert outfit when the nightmare began to unfold...
Right now it feels so surreal, I tried to deny this and pushed it all into my subconcious mind for about 2-3 months....I've avoided this forum, haven't watched Michael or listened to his music although I think about him every single day. I was trying to escape, trying to cope, deny it and be NORMAL. I tiried to numb eveything out. I didnt want anyone to talk to me about him, I didnt want to discuss or see him on TV when others were around. I became very defensive and recluisve and tried to deny EVERYTHING. But the lid has lifted, and again I can feel the reality...the incredible gaping hole, his terrible absence. I just feel that life, and everything is empty without him, useless and pointless, like you've said in your post above. How to understand and move on from this? How to believe in GOODNESS, TRUTH and LOVE, when there is PAIN, UNEXPLAINED SUFFERING and INJUSTICE everywhere??
I can't believe you went to LA for the memorial, I feel your pain when you say that you watched them 'wheel him away'.... :weeping: I'm so speechless and lost right now....
I know how you feel. :hug:Today was pretty horrible. I bought a Michael book in town and as I was flicking through the photos I just broke down again. I hate this so so so much. Most of the time I don't accept it at all, and I think thats probably the reason for parts of the day I can go around normally.. I simply just don't believe it and think that Michael is just being Michael- a recluse who we wont see for months and then he'll just appear randomly like he always did. :depressed: I can't bare to look at footage or photos because it just keeps making me realise he's not here anymore. I don't ever wanna realise it. I wanna stay in this denial forever. I feel it's easier that way.

[*Billie Jean*]

I miss you, my love.

I miss your crazy shopping outfits.

I miss random sightings of you.

I miss everything.

:weeping:

[Billie_Jean09]

I love you far more than words can ever say.
I think about you everyday.
When I wake you are the first thing on my mind
Before I sleep I whisper your name.
What can we do without you?
I feel I am going insane.

I want to be rational I want to think clear
Truth is I miss you, and have almost run out of tears

Where can I run to?
Where can I hide?
My soul wont give me rest until I have u by my side.
This might never be so I have to accept
And spend the rest of my days giving you my best

Sweet and precious Michael I will do all I can to uphold your legacy and love people how you taught me...........
even though they hurt me

:yes:

[Billie_Jean09]

I miss you, my love.

I miss your crazy shopping outfits.

I miss random sightings of you.

I miss everything.

:weeping:

Me too.:(
why does it have to be this way?
Miss him more than words can say.
Michael Joseph Jackson you have affected me so so so so much.........:doh:
But I wouldnt change a thing in how you have affected me even though it hurts like crazy crazy.
Sometimes I even envy people who are not affected by ur passing...........but then very quickly say to myself NO!!!
I wouldnt want to be indifferent.................I feel this way for a reason.........
I dont know why but I am so glad that Mike has affected me.............I love that man so so damn much.:(:):(:):no::yes::no::yes::doh:

Would rather love and miss MJ than not be bothered! Get me?:wub::wub::wub::wub::wub::wub::wub::wub::doh:

[*Billie Jean*]

Everyday I miss you so much more....

Everyday I miss you so much more,
As this loneliness pushes me onto the cold floor.
Days and nights are endlessly dark and bleak,
For without you my heart cannot even beat.

I can feel it crying out your name,
The separation just adding to the pain.
As my heart cries out for this curse to end,
The darkness overwhelms me and forces its hand.

As each breath becomes listless and slow,
I think back to the good times I know.
For every cherished memory keeps me sane,
Riding along a line of faith where the end is not the same.

Though dreams and thoughts are filled with you,
I have no regrets that this dream will never come true.
For deep down I know that no one can ever take your place,
You've made a mark in my heart that only shows your face.

You are integrity and humor that reigns,
The story of truth of love without pains.
You are the essence that breathes what each heart yearns so true,
You are what whispers sadness that now withdrew.

You are an enchantment and the enrichment of the soul,
From which inspiration emanates whole.
You are what makes dreams seem so real,
Providing the strength to continue where treasures now reveal.

Without you I am but a bleak set of stones,
No feeling nor hope - a carcass of bones.
Without you I am but a broken path in search of your divine light,
But you are the one who's destiny shall rewrite and shine forever as stars so bright.

[*Billie Jean*]

Me too.:(
why does it have to be this way?
Miss him more than words can say.


I wish I knew the answer. There are no words to describe how much I miss him. Every time I think things are looking up - I just seem to get slammed back down again. I'm exausted. Maybe someday it will get better and stay there - but not today. :depressed:

[*Billie Jean*]

I miss you more and more each day. I can't believe you are not here anymore. :weeping:

[MJstarlight]

missing you so much :cry:

[Azax]

It's all for L.O.V.E!
I miss you Angel Michael.

[smile4mj]

I don't ever wanna realise it. I wanna stay in this denial forever. I feel it's easier that way.

It is easy for me too. I dont even want to face the reality of Michael's death. I have even avoided to post or read threads here. I've been posting madly these few days in the Pic section. And today I'm here again. I had tears flowing silently last night when listening Michael's E.T story. His words really melted and touched my soul.. I really miss him and his beautiful soul. I really really love him too like you do Billie but I know that you have suffered more :huggy: I do hope one day, you'll feel better.

[*Little Suzie*]

Michael, you should know I love you so much than you ever ever know.. :( :heart: Love you forever and ever !

[LoveMJackson]

Why does my heart feel so bad? :(
People say that time will heal the pain, I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
I miss you Michael. :heart:

[michaeljacksonkingofpop]

We all miss you sooooooo much, Michael! You'll always be a part of us.

[Sophielo]

Sometimes I feel as I am finally strong enough to deal with my grief and can smile and laugh. But there are still so many days where my strength leaves me. Last Friday I went to see the exhibition for the third time with two wonderful friends, both members of MJJC and met them through it. It was an amazing day, full of smiles and laughter. But in the evening I had to be held as I was a sobbing mess as I just lost all strength. My grief took over and I felt like it was June again. And tonight I had to work and every time I had a quiet spot all I wanted to do was cry as all I could think about was Michael. This is what I spent the whole summer doing-dreading quiet periods at work as all I thought about was Michael and tonight felt like I was back to the summer. I just thank god that this place introduced me to some wonderful friends who I can call at anytime or text anytime, and who I see regularly. Becca, Stephen and Stacey you guys have just been amazing and thank you for being there. And you know that when it all gets way too much and we're missing Michael so much it hurts I am at the end of a phone.

[afgtnk]

Man, it still hurts so much. Maybe I will never get over it

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

I am ready to cry over Michael again now. Because I still miss him more than words can ever describe. And the pain is still as raw and as fresh as it was since that horrible June day.

[Beccabubbles]

Ugh....miss you so so much Michael xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Suzie B]

Missing Michael every minute of every day.... wish he would come back even if only for one more day.

[*Billie Jean*]

I'm really missing you tonight, my love. I miss you all the time, but tonight it's pretty bad. I can't stop crying. I wouldn't mind if I cry the rest of my life because I'll miss you forever. I don't know what to do with myself, my days are filled with tears, sadness and emptiness. My heart is completely broken. I can't figure out how to live with a broken heart. What do I do with all of the love and feelings for you? I don't know how to live without you. I'm extremely tired and sick. I am dying slowly a painful death. I know I'm dying. Asthma attacks are killing me. Everyday is death for me. But I am happy that I am gonna die soon. I just wanna to be with you, my love..

... I need to feel you with me right now. Come stay with me, please. I love you so much, I can't stay away from you.

[*Billie Jean*]

Close To You...

Close to you I want to be
yes, for all eternity...
Wrapped forever in your arms,
lost completely to your charms.

~~~~~~~

Here I find such warmth and love,
and it takes me high above...
To a place I want to be,
where you and I share ecstasy.

~~~~~~~

Yes I love you, yea and more,
you have opened my hearts door.
Made a flame burn inside me,
close to you I want to be...


~~~~~~~

[*Billie Jean*]

Michael, I feel so sad and lonely. I've been thinking about you all the time. I'm missing you like crazy and I think I'm going mad. I just can't stop thinking of you. Each moment lasts an hour and each hour lasts a day, just because you went away. I need you here beside me. You are always in my mind, by the time I wake up till I close my eyes. I just want to see your face. I want to feel your warm body, hear your precious heartbeat and be lost in your embrace. I miss you, my love. Please come back to me. They say hope springs eternal. Well, I only hope it's true for I can't bare the emptiness that comes from missing you.

[smile4mj]

Michael, I cant express my love and how deeply I miss you through words because my knowledge in English restricted me. This is a song that made me miss and love you most because I believe you were there watching us from above.. :cry: I cant stop grieving for you today. The jackson american dream series killed me into pieces because seeing you in a hard & cold childhood like stabbing in my heart with needles. I wish I could give you my childhood to you so that you could be happier. Your happiness is my everything :cry:

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory's so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be (?)
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

[micah]

And I thought I was the only one still grieving... God, this weekend was absolutelly horrendous for me. I spent it in bed because I was so miserable and crying :-( It all felt like June again. It's not like I've had good days since June, but OK days happen and then there are those terrible days when I can't function at all.

[Beccabubbles]

:cry:........

[Michaelismagic]

:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:

[Darvon1982]

(crying)

[Darvon1982]

Michael, I cant express my love and how deeply I miss you through words because my knowledge in English restricted me. This is a song that made me miss and love you most because I believe you were there watching us from above.. :cry: I cant stop grieving for you today. The jackson american dream series killed me into pieces because seeing you in a hard & cold childhood like stabbing in my heart with needles. I wish I could give you my childhood to you so that you could be happier. Your happiness is my everything :cry:

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory's so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be (?)
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

That was beautiful

[Michaelismagic]

:cry:
I miss you Michael juuunam I miss you so bad!!!!!!! I miss you I miss you!!!
:cry:

[*Billie Jean*]

I can't stop crying tonight, my love. I miss you so much. Every single day that goes by my heart hurts more and more. I wish somebody would rip my heart out from my chest, because then I wouldn't feel how much hurts to be without you. :weeping:

[Michaelismagic]

:cry: I'm crying my heart is ripped into pieces
plz Michael stay with me plz im begging u :cry:

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

Michael I am crying over now as I am listening to you. My heart has still remain broken ever since that horrible June day when you forever left us. I so badly want you to come back to heal it. I just seem to miss you more and more with each and every single passing day. And it just really hurts to know just how much I still miss you.

[Nar]

its been a while now and i still have some kind of denial thing going on. Its reaching me though.. and it doesnt get easier.

[Michelle MC]

Michael, I love you. I'm very sad that that horrible day in which you were taken from us is fast approaching. I wish you could just come back to us.

[*Billie Jean*]

Michael, I can't stop crying and I feel so lost without you. I love and miss you more than words could ever describe. More than I could ever make you understand or show. I have died with you and life will never be the same without you. With every day that passes, I realize how badly I miss you and want you back. I can't express how disappointed and depressed I've been since June 25th. I just couldn't believe what I was hearing, and I'm still in shock. If there was any way for me to bring you back, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I cry, I sit alone in my room, and I stare into the sky, wondering if you're up there staring back. I hope you are, I really hope you know of my existence. My love for you is never ending, and it won't matter what happens in my life. I know I will never love anyone to the extent that I love you. I would do anything just to be with you, my love. With tears in my heart I truly miss you, I love you more and more every day..

[Billie_Jean09]

I miss you more than words can ever say.............:(

Where are you MJ??:scratch:

We love you and miss you more.................

You are the one we adore:wub:

[Billie_Jean09]

come on MJ please give us a sign.............that you are fine.............
It hurts so very much MJ..........

[Michaelismagic]

it hurts Michael without you
I have no hope to live my life with
:cry:

[*Billie Jean*]

I miss you ...

Sitting alone in a corner,

when I was completely in tears,

it was your face that frequently appeared,

your eyes with love,

your lips with smile,

your tender touch that makes me cure,

is all what I want for sure!

[Michaelismagic]

thanx for the beautiful poem Billie Jean

I miss his unexpected appearances..oh boy :(

[*Billie Jean*]

There is nothing I want more than to be with you, my love... Missing You! :weeping:


thanx for the beautiful poem Billie Jean

I miss his unexpected appearances..oh boy :(
Me too :cry:

[Michaelismagic]

oh my love I love you piece by piece!
I'm missing you with every breathe! plz Michael stay with us! plzzzz :cry:

[MJfan10]

I miss you so much day more then before. And I keep having flashbacks of June 25 and that's not helping :(

[*Billie Jean*]

I think of you in silence, I often speak your name,
All I have left are memories && an unforgiving pain,
My heart aches with sadness, && all my tears will flow,
But, what it meant to lose you, no one will ever know.

I hope you know my love how much I miss you and need you right now :depressed:

[Michaelismagic]

oh Michael
I just miss and love every inch of you :(

[*Billie Jean*]

It hurts so much that you are gone. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about you. I just want to tell you Michael, I miss you so much. :weeping:

[Michaelismagic]

oh Michael my love,
I waited for 15 years thought I could meet u one day..
and now I just know I'm never gonna meet you ever and it hurts so much it's like I have all needles into my heart it's just so wrong and empty :(
:cry:
I miss you so so so much

[LoveMJackson]

I can’t believe that 9 months have already passed! It seems like everything happened just yesterday. Today, I feel the same sadness like I felt back then. I still can’t believe that you are gone. But like I’ve said before, maybe you are not here physically anymore but your spirit will always stay with us and your legacy will live forever because LEGENDS NEVER DIE.
I miss you & love you.

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

I still miss you so extremely much Michael. I am starting to cry over you because I just miss you so extremely much. And I am sitting here looking at the time on my laptop. And thinking that in exactly 18 hours and 30 minutes from now. Is going to be exactly 9 months is when I had gotten the worst news ever about you. And nearly every single day during those 9 horrible months I had cried over you. I still feel pretty much the same as I did then. My depression and sadness is never going to go away from me. And when I think of how I had gotten the news about you. Just makes the pain all the more worst. Which is why I know I am going to be in deep mourning over you for the rest of my life. Which is why I am always wearing black now. To show that I am still in mourning over you.

[aaliyah]

I still miss you Michael. And I think I always will. :boohoo:

[*Billie Jean*]

Forever Missing You

That certain song started playing,
And I completely fell apart,
Lately your sudden loss,
Has been gnawing at my heart.

I've been missing you badly,
Dreaming of your face,
I wonder if you're really,
In a better place.

My feelings haven't changed,
And it's been so long,
I guess I'll never truly,
Understand why you're gone.

You meant the world to me,
So much, I can't explain,
I've moved on in agony,
But you're worth the pain.

All the pretty flowers,
Show my love to you,
If I could just reach out,
There isn't anything I wouldn't do.

I still go on with out you,
Still question the same old,
It wouldn't make any difference,
Even if I was told.

It's amazing how much it hurts,
How time just passes by,
I deeply think of you,
In every tear I cry.

And hope that you're with me,
In everything I do,
Because I still keep you close,
As I try to push on through.

[*Billie Jean*]

I'm feeling very melancholy tonight, my love. I can't stop crying. I miss you terribly, and I love you more than words can possibly express. I can't live without you. I just can't. Please come back to me.. :weeping:

[MJfan10]

I can’t believe its been 9 months already. I only feels like just yesterday. I cried so much last night, more then before. I feel sadness. I hurts so much that I can't even say what I want. I just want you to come back. I miss you so much Michael :weeping:

[*Billie Jean*]

I miss you, my love... too much... more than my mind can even begin to comprehend. I still wish this was a terrible nightmare and that I'll wake up soon to discover you are still with me. But, I know it's not. I know you're gone and it hurts as much today as it did nine months ago. Michael, this hurts so much. I am crying now just because I miss you so very much. Why you? Why couldn't I have died instead of you? I don't know how to live my life without you anymore. The pain is so deep. I can't stop crying. The tears never seem to end. I miss you today more than yesterday. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to die and be with you forever. :weeping:

[michaeljacksonkingofpop]

Michael, I miss you so much. Can't you see from Heaven how much we all need you? Although it would be great for you to come back, we just don't want you to go through the terrible pain you had by those press people because they don't know a single word they're saying. I know you're never coming back as a person but your spirt will ALWAYS be with us and nothing can make that go away. I love you, Michael!!!

[*Billie Jean*]

My world is empty now you're gone. These past 9 months have been the most painful I've experienced in my life. I've tried so hard to move on with my life but the days just seem so empty without you. I find myself looking at the stars some nights and speaking to you. I miss you so much my love. :weeping:

[*Billie Jean*]

Michael.. I love you more than words can describe. I hope you know how much I really miss you. I love you and I will forever.

[michaeljacksonkingofpop]

I love and miss you every day, Michael.

[Tinker_Bell]

Dear Michael,

I dreamt about you and you looked so healthy and so happy to see me. If only if that was for real and I could hold you and tell you everything will be alright. Today I did something I wanted to do long time ago, I logged into "The Case" to read about the latest news and reports so I can be prepared for the 5th. I couldnt do it. I started reading it one by one, then I just couldnt...its so draining Michael, its so painful. Specially reading about that you might have had your heart still going when you arrived to the hospital. Im drowned with questions like " did they try their best to save you", what if's and what should'ves ,thats what I think...and matter of second you could have been saved. You could have been alive now, right at this moment with your children around you, loved by your fans like never before. If you were saved, I would have written to you everyday, I would have convinced my husband to take me whereever you are and wait outside the gate, just to have a glimpse of you. Just to be near. I dont want your autograph, I dont want to take a pic with you, I just wanna hold your hand and to tell you how much i love you. Just to hold your hand, and thats all I want. If you were saved....I miss you so much. I miss you so much. But you werent saved. Now I will never get the chance. It hurts so much Michael, so much. I hunger for you, I thirsty for you, I want you so bad.
April 5th huh? here we go again, the emotional draining waiting for the day. No matter what happen that day I know whoever that is responsible for what happend to you, will have to pay one day or another. Karma will come haunting them. Michael you are not in pain anymore, you are happy arent you? You are in a place where no one can hurt you ever again, you are safe. Thats the only comfort I have right now. I dont know why I even write here, but I just neede to get it out, I have been holding everything inside, with everything thats going in my life right now, I do think about you everyday. I love you everyday. I miss you everyday. You are a part of me now, just like we are a part of you. I will never let you go my angel.

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

I still miss Michael more now than ever before. I was doing so very good for the past couple of days by hardly crying over him. Until I decided to go back and watch the rest of this 2008 Bollywood movie called Ghajini. It is such a good movie but I should have known better by going back to that movie. Because the girl that Aamir Khan's character was in love with was murder on June 23rd 2006. And Asin's character Kalpana reminded me of Michael in away because she was very helpful towards people. But yet she was murdered for that. It wasn't just the movie that started to really make me cry over Michael again. It was the main song in the movie called Hai Guzarish that really brought the tears back on for me. I am still crying now. And I just fully realized that these tears are never going to end for me.

[*Billie Jean*]

^ I know how you feel. I thought I was getting better, but now I'm crying again. :weeping: One minute I think it's okay and at least my beloved Michael at peace now, then the next minute I can't believe it and am in shock. I know I sound dramatic but I don't think I can get through this. I just can't. I don't know what to do, where to go, what to say... I am so sad. My heart is full of pain. It is the same pain each day, my tears roll down my cheeks because I miss him so much. I cry every day, and I cannot do anything about it. But I'm here for you anytime. :huggy:

[*Billie Jean*]

Michael, there are no words in any language that even begin to describe how much I miss you. It's still very strange to think you're not here anymore. I remember looking out at the sky and finding comfort thinking that we were both underneath it, even though you were always so far away from me. You'll always, always be close in my heart though. I miss you more and more each day, my love. But I love you so so so much more.

[*Billie Jean*]

http://i970.photobucket.com/albums/ae190/MJsLoverGirl/Kawaii/1ehws-10X-1_MdiY5CkEtW.jpg

[Michaelismagic]

Michael my love,
you're missed so so bad!! :cry:

[PrincessMichaela]

Really missing you tonight...
I still don't understand.

[xthunderx2]

I still miss you sooo much Michael...I wish you could know that.

[*Billie Jean*]

I miss you more each day Michael. I cried a long time last night, I broke down again this morning and I cried when I went to Church. My pain seems to get worse everyday, sometimes just listening to your music is hard now. I still can't believe you're not here. I wish this was all a dream, I wish you were here, my love. :weeping:

[Michaelismagic]

Michael I'm so very much missing you
I break down each time I just think u're gone!
plz plz plz stay with us Michael my love :cry:
plz Im begging you I need you Michael
how can I ever live my life when u're not in this world
it's hell now :(

[*Billie Jean*]

I miss you, my love. I can't stop crying. Why did you have to go? Why? I ask myself that question a lot, yet never get any answers. :weeping: The days are coming and go. I still miss a piece of me that has left me and will never come back. I wish that you could come back and fix me. Make me completely again.

[*Billie Jean*]

I miss you tonight, I'll miss you tomorrow and I'll miss you forever, my love. :weeping:

[Beccabubbles]

Its hurts everyday, but today - ugh.
I feel guilty for not being stronger, and I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
I love you very much, and I'm so greatful for all that you give me.
I guess today I just haven't been able to fool myself.
It all feels horribly real.

And I miss you terribly.

xxx

[ilmjj]

I love you Michael. I hope you you know how much you are loved. You are my angel.:angel: I miss you so much.

[*Billie Jean*]

Michael I miss you more each day. My whole body is hurting of how much I miss you. I can't deal with this pain anymore. Some days I can't wait to go to sleep, perhaps I will see you in my dreams, some days I can't wait to go to sleep forever, where you are... it's so very hard to live fully and be happy now that you're gone, my love. I miss you more and more each day. But I love you so much more.

[*Billie Jean*]

I'm really really missing you right now. :weeping:

[*Little Suzie*]

Come back Michael....or take me with you :cry: ... You're the number 1 who I love really much.. My love to you is not the same as I have for the other people I know.. :cry: I Need you.....

[Michaelismagic]

Michael I love you so much!! my whole life I wannet to let you know how much you are loved by me!! just how much!! but I could never get the chance to let you know :cry:
plz plz I miss you sooooooooooooooooooooo much it's not fare!! God :cry:

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

Michael I am sitting here listening to you and I can't even begin to describe the pain that I am always constantly feeling over missing you so extremely much. There really are no words in any language that can even begin to describe of how much I truly miss your presence in this world. I just so very badly wish you would come back to us. Mainly back to me so you could forever take away this permanent pain of mine. This world and as well as my life is really not the same anymore without you in it. Again I just wish you would come back to us.

[*Billie Jean*]

Michael my love, I am missing you more each and every day. I'm dying without you. Please come back to me. I need you. I can't live anymore.. please Michael come back or take me with you.. please my love. :weeping:

[michaeljacksonkingofpop]

Michael, this world is so empty without you! I know you can't come back in person but your spirit is so alive right now and we all feel that you're still here with us. I miss you very much, sweetie.

[Carol]

......................I miss you so,so deeply,I cant even describe it!:no:
My love for you is souldeep!:wub:
Love sure trancends the barriers of death,and even even more deephens!:wub:
I love you angel,so,so much....:wub:

[aaliyah]

I miss you :(

[MJJ1972]

i miss you more each day michael. I cried a long time last night, i broke down again this afternoon and i cried when i went out today. My pain seems to get worse everyday, sometimes just listening to your music is hard now. I can't believe you're not here. :weeping: I wish this was all a dream, i wish you were here.

i am right there with you.have loved michael since 1972..my heart aches with you and all those who love him!!!

[Justine]

Miss him so much. When i think about the date and year 2009 i was so sad.. Now i listen Better On The Other Side i crying so much and ... it's still hard to believe, still pain..

I am alone ..

[cleopatra09]

i guess i didn't know what was a pain till the june 25th.

you know what is the most interesting, that it's not abating.

i miss you like i had you, like i felt what it's like to be in your arms,
like i knew how does it feels to be loved by you,

i can't even say to the others that i miss you,
cause they are like: you didn't know him, how can you? you are not normal.

i miss you like i miss my heart, i miss my soul,
and it's aching too much, to have a desire to continue life.

i feel empty,
i feel abandond,
i feel wounded
i feel pain!
and it's too panful...

i miss you michael.

[*Little Suzie*]

Michael....I wanna fly with you all over the stars... You Peter Pan, Im Wendy :heart: :cry:

[Michaelismagic]

Michael my love,
I'm just sitting here at my pc..missing you so madly my heart is aching I have tears...:( :cry: plz it's not fair!! it's not fair at all :cry:

[Michaelismagic]

It hurts so much...:cry:
it really does :cry:

[*Billie Jean*]

I miss you so much, my love. When will I ever stop crying? :weeping:

[Michaelismagic]

oh yeah!! just when?!!? I cant handle it!!! :cry:

[lovelymj]

I was crying hard yesterday, i rewatched the THIS IS IT DVD.................

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

I miss you so much, my love. When will I ever stop crying? :weeping:

That's what I would like to know myself. I am really so sick and tired of always constantly crying over Michael. It has been almost an year now and I am still crying over him mostly every single day ever since it happen. And it really can not be helped since the tears just comes on automatically for me. And ever since it happen I sometimes wish that I had never became fan of Michael's in the first place. If I hadn't I would not be in so much constant pain now. I had no idea that pain like this even existed until June 25th 2009. I can usually handle pain quite well. But this pain I can not handle. Especially when I keep on having suicidal thoughts and just plainly wishing for death come to me. Cause all I want now is to be dead and to be with him now. I so wish I had died in that car accident that I was in back in October of 96. If I had I would be with him now. And not here suffering from clinical depression over him. I just so totally hate living in a world without him in it.

[*Billie Jean*]

Today was a day of thoughts of you and tears for you. I miss you so much, you have no idea how much I am hurting for you, even as I type this message. The more I think of it, the more I become so overwhelmed with grief. I wish I could die so I could be with you forever. :weeping:

[Michaelismagic]

sigh*

[michaeljacksonkingofpop]

Wait until the 25th of April which is two days away. I'll start missing him like crazy!!! God, I'm starting to hate that number now....Michael, we miss you.

[*Billie Jean*]

Michael, I miss you so much tonight. I could just sit and cry over many things and nothing I do is making me feel better. I wish you were still here, my love. My life is just so hard without you. Knowing you were here, knowing you were walking this Earth just made me feel so much better. Now I don't know what to do with myself. I wish you could help me, make me feel better. I miss you more and more each day. But I love you so much more.

[Caro]

We all miss you so much, Michael. Why did you have to go ? Why you ? It's really not fair. :cry: Je t'aime.

[Michaelismagic]

Michael oh Michael :(
:( sigh :cry:

[LoveMJackson]

I miss you so much, Michael. I wish I could be with you right now wherever you are. :cry: :(

[andythemisfit]

Why do I feel like he is slipping away from my conscience?? I don't want that to happen...never! And yet I want to move on and let him rest in peace. Ugh, I'm so confused. :(

[*Billie Jean*]

My sweet Michael, you know that I miss you like crazy, but I am really missing you today. I still can't get over the fact that you're not with us any more. :weeping: I love you more than you'll ever know, always, and forever.

[PCR]

Another month without Michael.
Another month full of tears, pain and sadness.
Will we ever be able to look back to you with less tears and more smiles?
So far... I can't. I just can't :weeping:

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

Another month without Michael.
Another month full of tears, pain and sadness.
Will we ever be able to look back to you with less tears and more smiles?
So far... I can't. I just can't :weeping:

Neither can I. :weeping:


Michael I am like really crying over you now as I am listening to you. It is really the only thing I can do other besides going in to your fan sites. And me always wearing one of my many t-shirts of you and my 3 MJ necklaces. I can not seem to handle watching you lately. It has been almost 2 months now since I saw some sort of a video with you in it. And I just miss watching you so extremely much. I am on my laptop now and I have all sorts of videos of you on it as well as pictures and audio files of you. The audio and the pictures of you I can pretty much handle. But the videos I can not seem to handle lately now. The one video of yours that I always keep on my desktop is the Interview that you did with Oprah. It is my number 1 favorite interview that you did. Because it was the first interview I had ever saw from you. And I always try to make it a point to watch it. Whenever I am feeling this way. Especially the theater scene which is my favorite. But now I can't even handle watching it. It has been 10 horrible months now and I am going back to feeling as I was when I had first heard the horrible news. I couldn't even handle watching you then. I am just missing you more and more Michael. But I just want to be with you even more. I just absolutely hate having to live in a world without you in it.

[*Billie Jean*]

I miss you,

More then I ever know possible,
a heart that loves can feel.
Ache towards the one that completes…
Where the longing is absorbing;
and it fills my being when you not here.
The closer we grow,
the more we love,
the harder it is to be without you,
and the more I want you near…

Without you I'm empty,
broken
heartless
for I miss you more then you will ever know…
And in my heart I hope,

You miss me too…

[*Billie Jean*]

I am waiting the moment when we can be together! I miss you..

[*Billie Jean*]

Having a really hard time today Michael - I quite simply love you and miss you so very much.

[Michaelismagic]

sigh*

[*Billie Jean*]

Michael, I love you with all my heart, but I didn't know true love hurts so hard, I love and I miss you, every single second I wanna be with you. I don't know what to do anymore. The pain only seems to get worse each day, I wish so badly that this was only a nightmare that I could be awaken from and you would still be here. :cry: I cry myself to sleep every night wondering what I should do .. I can't stop thinking about you, my love, I can't stop crying ... It still hurts so much, I still can't get my head around you're gone. I miss you more and more each day, and I always will.

[Adore]

Michael, I love you with all my heart, but I didn't know true love hurts so hard, I love and I miss you, every single second I wanna be with you. I don't know what to do anymore. The pain only seems to get worse each day, I wish so badly that this was only a nightmare that I could be awaken from and you would still be here. :cry: I cry myself to sleep every night wondering what I should do .. I can't stop thinking about you, my love, I can't stop crying ... It still hurts so much, I still can't get my head around you're gone. I miss you more and more each day, and I always will.

:cry: Billie stay strong! :hug:

[Sophielo]

Much hugs to everyone in this thread. I really feel for each and every one here as we're all going through the same thing. I always say losing Michael has been losing my security blanket. Ever since he passed he felt like what I knew and what made me feel safe has been ripped away. I grew up with Michael and his passing has left such a huge hole in my heart. My life feels emptier now he's not here anymore. There isn't a day where I don't miss him. Recently I've been crying a lot more over him. I just miss him so much :cry:

[*Billie Jean*]

:cry: Billie stay strong! :hug:
Thank you, sweetie. :hug:

Much hugs to everyone in this thread. I really feel for each and every one here as we're all going through the same thing. I always say losing Michael has been losing my security blanket. Ever since he passed he felt like what I knew and what made me feel safe has been ripped away. I grew up with Michael and his passing has left such a huge hole in my heart. My life feels emptier now he's not here anymore. There isn't a day where I don't miss him. Recently I've been crying a lot more over him. I just miss him so much :cry:

Right back at you :hug:

[michaeljacksonkingofpop]

I've accepted the fact that Michael's not coming back, but my heart still breaks for that day that we lost everything. Michael was more than just a normal human being, he changed the world with his music, style, personality, love, etc. We all miss you very much, King of Pop!!!

[LoveMJackson]

I wish I could sleep forever and never wake up so I could dream about you. Only in my dreams I can truly feel you alive.
I wish I could sleep and never wake up because I don’t want to wake up to a world without you.

I miss you, Michael. :heart: :cry: