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You Are Not Alone

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I thought I was okay but i'm feeling really depressed and disconnected this week. I'm just relieved this forum is still here. Its good to be in a place where other people understand what i'm going through :hug:
 
MJstarlight said:
I thought I was okay but i'm feeling really depressed and disconnected this week. I'm just relieved this forum is still here. Its good to be in a place where other people understand what i'm going through :hug:
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:better: Amen to that! I was telling myself that it'll be ok if I can just get past June 25, get past that DAY, but the tears have been flowing steadily into the next day, hell, this entire week, really. My patience (which is already short) with people is almost non-existent when they try to cheer me up by saying stupid sh*t like "well, it has been 5 years already; you should be over it by now". Mind you, the person that told me that is a hardcore Elvis fan that does the Elvis Week trip to Graceland EVERY YEAR. He's been dead since I was a kid, but I'd never tell his fans to "get over it"!

Oh, and the ANGER hasn't subsided much in these past 5 years, either. The fact that someone killed Mike makes it hard to accept he's gone, because he SHOULDN'T BE. :boohoo:
 
SheilaMJFan4Ever said:
:better: Amen to that! I was telling myself that it'll be ok if I can just get past June 25, get past that DAY, but the tears have been flowing steadily into the next day, hell, this entire week, really. My patience (which is already short) with people is almost non-existent when they try to cheer me up by saying stupid sh*t like "well, it has been 5 years already; you should be over it by now". Mind you, the person that told me that is a hardcore Elvis fan that does the Elvis Week trip to Graceland EVERY YEAR. He's been dead since I was a kid, but I'd never tell his fans to "get over it"!

Oh, and the ANGER hasn't subsided much in these past 5 years, either. The fact that someone killed Mike makes it hard to accept he's gone, because he SHOULDN'T BE. :boohoo:
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They probably meant well and maybe didn't know what else to say, but I totally agree with you. Everybody has their own way of grieving and who is anyone to tell you that after 5 years you should be "over it"? Nobody, that's who. I'm sorry it's been so tough for you Sheila :better:

And that goes for everyone else as well
grouphug.gif


The last couple days have been pretty rough for me as well. Wednesday I just wasn't able to think clearly. I was depressed and all I wanted to do was cry and sleep, but somehow, unable to do either. So I remained in a bit of "daze" all day. Then yesterday morning it finally hit me like a ton of bricks. I was watching a fan tribute video on YouTube and I just started sobbing. I didn't hold back either- I let it all out. It was good though, I needed it. Afterwards I felt so much better, and my head was finally clear. So while it was a sad moment, in a way it was therapeutic :)
 
it surely hits you in more ways than you expect. I mean I can do stuff and say... WOW, this shows that I'm healed... that I am FREE and then one video or one image can send it all crashing and burning it down again...

Like people around you asking you 'how you are doing?' on that bloody day!
or a news report and I go ARGHHHHH :blink:

I mean do I put on a brave face and say" I'm okay... don't you worry... it's only the day my BEST friend got murdered so I'm fine..." :smilerolleyes:

I just ignored it :blush: Is NO use in playing that broken record over and over again especially to peeps who can't even 'grasp' how it feels to lose someone dear in that way and manner. :cry:


I do look fine indeed. I picked up my life again but still those 'damn' triggers hey that send me into a hiss and a fit again :angry:

HUGS to all :wub:
 
Being around so many who don't share my feelings, I always feel so misunderstood or, rather more, isolated (for lack of a better description) when I'm down due to his passing, you know? I almost never watch tributes because, if I can avoid them, I can pretend for a little while like he's still here. Then reality seeps in and I remember I can't run from my grief or even "simply" hide it away. Granted, I hurt a little less than I did five years ago, it's no where near "getting over it". And a band-aid by playing pretend doesn't help. *sigh* But it's nice to have this thread and a community that understands where I'm coming from. And it's nice to have that support and people willing to help each other through such a tough fact and time. After all these years of not really having that sort of support, aside from friends and family who did their best to understand, I wish I had joined sooner! Yay for the MJFam! :')
 
Invincible2k1 said:
Being around so many who don't share my feelings, I always feel so misunderstood or, rather more, isolated (for lack of a better description) when I'm down due to his passing, you know? I almost never watch tributes because, if I can avoid them, I can pretend for a little while like he's still here. Then reality seeps in and I remember I can't run from my grief or even "simply" hide it away. Granted, I hurt a little less than I did five years ago, it's no where near "getting over it". And a band-aid by playing pretend doesn't help. *sigh* But it's nice to have this thread and a community that understands where I'm coming from. And it's nice to have that support and people willing to help each other through such a tough fact and time. After all these years of not really having that sort of support, aside from friends and family who did their best to understand, I wish I had joined sooner! Yay for the MJFam! :')
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HUGS to you Invincible2k1 :better:
 
Invincible2k1 said:
Being around so many who don't share my feelings, I always feel so misunderstood or, rather more, isolated (for lack of a better description) when I'm down due to his passing, you know? I almost never watch tributes because, if I can avoid them, I can pretend for a little while like he's still here. Then reality seeps in and I remember I can't run from my grief or even "simply" hide it away. Granted, I hurt a little less than I did five years ago, it's no where near "getting over it". And a band-aid by playing pretend doesn't help. *sigh* But it's nice to have this thread and a community that understands where I'm coming from. And it's nice to have that support and people willing to help each other through such a tough fact and time. After all these years of not really having that sort of support, aside from friends and family who did their best to understand, I wish I had joined sooner! Yay for the MJFam! :')
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Personally, I don't think you ever really "get over" the loss of somebody you love. You simply learn to deal with it and move on with life, and I think that is true of many of us. What is important is that we have each other to turn to in those moments when it does become difficult because we certainly cannot deal with that pain on our own. It is not healthy. We're glad you found us and that you're here :)

:huggy:
 
Spyce said:
Personally, I don't think you ever really "get over" the loss of somebody you love. You simply learn to deal with it and move on with life, and I think that is true of many of us. What is important is that we have each other to turn to in those moments when it does become difficult because we certainly cannot deal with that pain on our own. It is not healthy. We're glad you found us and that you're here :)

:huggy:
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Thank you for your very kind and true words Spyce! I'm very glad for you all, too :)
 
Indeed, that's the price you ultimately pay for love as they say :blush:

I wouldn't have done it different though cause I always knew I would some day lose 'the love of my life' :wub:
It never did stop me from loving and supporting him though!

Indeed, the pain gets less and it's blocked or healed or whatever you wanna call it as 'moving on' in your new 'tainted' version of you but it feels good to have 'back up' if the wound somehow gets 'ripped' open by a 'trigger'.

We're soul mates we are cause we feel each other pain. :better:
Though, it shouldn't be the ONLY 'reason' why we are though :blush:

We got a mission too... ONE to preserve and honour Michael's legacy! :punk:
 
CarouselKid said:
Not a lot, but it is kinda there in the back of my mind.
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:( :hug: I don't know what to say other than DON'T. It may not feel like it, but this world is a better place with kind, caring people like you in it!

This song has been a huge help for me in tough times. :better:

 
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