I can't listen to You Are Not Alone without crying. When I listen to that song, I think of my aunt who passed in April, and I think of Michael.
i don't really talk, i just be lurkin'
I still can't listen to "Gone too Soon;" I don't think I ever will
Recently, "Will You Be There" brought me to tears, which has never happened before.
After Michael died, I wasn't able to listen to any of his songs that were even remotely sad.
When he passed, I could not walk in the store to see his pictures and I could not stand to see or hear the word "the Late". I could not deal with it. And his music I could not listen to or play. It was bad for me on so many levels. Even when it come to other artists. The song, "you the best" by Drake bring up the moment I heard the news because that song just finished playing and I was watching Dr. Phil which was about a couple who was struggling with the drowning death of a son. I turned during commercial just to here something about Farrah on CNN and that when the news of MJ being rush to the hospital. What is also strange was when I was at work and heard about Farrah's death at 1:25 pm eastern time, I told my coworkers, "this means one more is going to die" Ed McMann died that Monday or Tuesday and death sometimes comes in 3's. I would have never thought it would have been MJ.
Terrell, I know what you mean. I couldn't stand to hear or read those words....."the late", either.
It tore me up. "How could this be?" was my thought.
But with so much time gone by, I can deal with it better now but I just don't use those words.
It also took me a minute to get past speaking about him in past tense.
Last edited by Silouette; 25-08-2016 at 10:57 PM.
sometime yes, it depends on my mood though
As for me I totally stop listening to him. Why listen to someone whose only going to cause me to have anxiety attacks now. But there are days where I still so very badly crave to hear him or even watch him. And it really hurts to no freaking end that I can't listen or watch him. Because I don't want to have another anxiety attack. Thanks to that a-hole I am now force to live the rest of my life in total f-ing misery. And I am only 36. I will never know what it is like to be that H word ever again. That a-hole forever took that away from me.
sometimes. it usually hits me unexpectedly these days.
Yes, I do. But it depends more on my mood than on a particular song.
Some days ago I cried and sobbed almost all the way through the Dangerous album. I had my earplugs in and volume way up. I was in a wild mix of all kinds of emotions concerning my life and health situation. Rage, fear, grief, love, sadness, vulnerability ... and hope
The journey through Dangerous was rough but perfect, and the climax that day was in "Will You Be There". Music has often be cathartic for me, but this time, listening to and experiencing the song and the relief that came from it was very intense.
I might sound pathetic, but I think that maybe some of you have similar experiences with Michaelīs music. Nah, I know it :-)
"Iīm the temple, you canīt hurt me,
..I found peace within myself"
...Michael Jackson - Jam
Hey you know what? I totally relate! Especially since I got these new Bose headphones. You can really hear the performer emoting and for someone like Michael who I have that emotional connection to? Even MORE so.
I teared up listening to "Earth Song" on the train home today
As for me I had now made it a point to not ever listen to a single MJ song ever again. I just can't handle it no more. It is all thanks to that mother fcking ahole for causing my severe depression and anxiety attacks that I have now. I am now looking for the right Bollywood songs to replaced every single one of Michael's songs with. Which is going to take a good long while. Since there have been thousands of Bollywood songs recorded over the years. But thankfully I already found several. Like:
In The Closet is replaced with Sheila Ki Jawani
Smooth Criminal is replaced with Tees Maar Khan
Heal The World is replaced with Chanda Chamke
Threatened is replaced with Aye Khuda
Billie Jean is replaced with Challa
I Just Can't Stop Loving You is replaced with Saans
Is It Scary is replaced by Lori Of Death
It is something I had started doing a good couple of years or so ago. Then I had just stop doing that. But now I am going to finish it. Since I am now thinking about pulling the plug on what very little of my MJ fandom I have left in tact. Since my MJ fandom is still on life support. And just concentrate on my massive obsession I have for Bollywood now. There is always something to look forward to in the Bollywood world. In the MJ fandom world there is absolutely nothing to look forward to anymore. And I do mean nothing. I am only kidding myself if there is something to look forward to. Becoming a fan of his was a huge mistake. And I had made that huge mistake back in the early to mid 80s. When I was around 4 or 5 years old. But you are not going to know any better when you are that age. When I watch or listen to something Bollywood related I am back to feeling of how I used to feel. When I used to watch or listen to something Michael related. With Michael now I can no longer feel that way. Not when I am still suffering from severe depression and anxiety attacks if I so much as to try to watch or listen to him now. Those anxiety attacks and my depression is never going to go away from me. Thanks to that fcked up nameless ahole who gave that to me. Just like he also cause me to suffer with insomnia and horrific MJ nightmares. I still tend to have every now and then.
The other day, I was watching Michael at the WMAs 2006. I had watched it several times before, but, this time, it made me cry. The expression on Michael's face when he hears the crowd chanting his name, the love, oh the love!! I hope to God that he knew, until the end, how much he was loved!
Being hounded for decades, plastered all over tabloids and even arrested must have made him feel at times that the entire universe was against him. In fact, that was never true. As loud and horrible as the media may have been, irrespective of how many among the general public may have eaten up those lies, there was always a lot of love, support and understanding for Michael all over the world. I'm convinced that not only in 2009, but well before it he understood that.
And btw of crying - thinkin' about these things and especially today, got me teary eyed. But then again, it doesn't take all that much to get me to cry about Michael. Don't even need a song for it. That's how much of a crybaby I can be. Don't suppose I get any braggin' rights because of it....
........ be God's glow
There are things that still trigger me to tears almost eight years on. Moonwalker was the most recent one as I just watched it last night on my new Blu-Ray disc. That part where he leaves the kids rips me up on the inside. Another recent one was watching the Bad 25 documentary when they started talking about his passing. Songs don't truly trigger me as much as they used to but there are still times where I'm sad and listening to a Michael song and start bawling like a baby. But as I've said before,I've definitely come to accept his death long ago,but it's truly something I'll never get over.