Trying to accept it....

BellaJ

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Hey all,

I don't know if this is the right section to post a message like this, my apologies if it's not.

I'm just feeling so low about the loss of MJ. I keep waking up every morning thinking some of the pain will have eased but it just won't go away.

I truly feel like the world has lost its luster to me now that he's not in it.

None of my friends or family understand this...in fact a person who I thought was my best friend actually attacked me for entering the lottery to try and fly over to the US for his public memorial (I live in Australia).

I'm just wanting to connect with other fans who are still really struggling with MJ's death and wondering if you could share your coping strategies. I just can't accept that he's gone and feel like my life will never be the same again. I'm just so sad. I still can't see a picture of him, or hear a song of his without crying. It's so hard.

Thanks for letting me share everyone, look after yourselves.

Bella
 
BellaJ - welcome! There are a lot of friendly Aussie fans on here to talk to..in fact this whole board is great! Where in Australia do you live?

I'm the same with regards to MJ. I just feel that the whole world is a little duller...hmm a whole lot duller. :( I find simply talking about Michael helps, but I abuse it to the extend that I find myself becoming obsessed with these forums because I just can't believe he's gone. I spend heaps of time on here.

We are all feeling your pain (HUGS) xoxox.

Elisha
 
hey Bella
i think you just summed up what we're all feeling here :(
yes
the world is not the same without him
it's still painful
they say that everything begins small & ends big except grief but this is not true in MJ's case
& i understand how you feel about your friends coz that is the way i'm feeling too
they just don't get it
(here in the forum i refer to them as "the outside world")
when the forum was down i felt like a lost child

my pain is growing more & more that in a way i still don't know if i'll be able to go to the movies & watch "This Is It"
it'll be very painful
but then again i don't want to regret not watching it
i still don't know what to do about this

so
sorry for increasing your pain
i just wanted to let you know that there are people here who understand & feel how you feel & i hope we find a relief

& so
WELCOME to the forum :)
if Michael is seeing this, i know he's proud to see his fans from all the world sticking together & he must be singing JAM
 
oh I KNOW exactly what you mean at first on the day itself when he died I was stunned & was a little bit teary but not very much, I just was in a deep shock it took a few days to really break down & cry then it really hit me but i think I was still quite dazed & thinking gosh this must be some kinda dream.

i really had more trouble than ever sleeping it was so difficult for me!

to be totally honest with you i've done nothing but cry since he died & it's just getting gradually worse to be truthful, i feel like a part of me, of my heart died along with him, he's been a humongous & major part of my life for 23 of my nearly 24 years & I guess I kinda looked up to him as a father figure of sorts given my dad sucked I learnt a LOT of valuable things from Michael that will stay with me for a lifetime

I'm still devastated truly & utterly devastated & I think it's gonna take me many many long years to even get anywhere near recovering from it!

If you need to chat with someone I'm always here I'm a rather understanding soft type who's happy to be there for anyone at anytime & maybe it'd help to chat with someone who gets just how you feel

I'm here anytime you need a chat if you want to o.k (((Hugs)))
 
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Awww BellaJ , I deeply understand your feelings ...because they are mine too...
I hope you will be ok, I hope you'll meet Michael in your dreams and he will wipe away your tears... Since Michael died, I'm a emotional rollercoaster. I thought the autopsy report would give some comfort, but it hasn't. Actually, since the report has been made public, I've fallen two steps backward. I've been feeling so sad more and more. I still cry everyday, I cant stop crying. The tears never seem to end. My heart cannot accept yet. After his death the things that make me happy seem to not make me happy anymore.. I'll live, but my joy in living died with him. I will live forever in tears...
I love him more and more every day. I love him more than anything. My heart is truly broken. I lost the first and only love of my life. The pain and sorrow is just too great to put in words... I cant believe that my love died. I just can't! OMG! So many days, hours and months had passed ... and I cant believe it. I cry every day and every night. It is unbelievable how sad.
But we are not alone in this.... millions are hurting all over the world. This will be goodbye for now but not forever. We will see him when we get to Heaven.
I pray that he finds happiness wherever he is. Words fail me, I can't describe how much I miss him. I'd give my life for him to come back. Now I need to go someplace and cry. :cry:

(((((((((HUGS))))))))))
 
Awww BellaJ , I deeply understand your feelings ...because they are mine too...
I hope you will be ok, I hope you'll meet Michael in your dreams and he will wipe away your tears... Since Michael died, I'm a emotional rollercoaster. I thought the autopsy report would give some comfort, but it hasn't. Actually, since the report has been made public, I've fallen two steps backward. I've been feeling so sad more and more. I still cry everyday, I cant stop crying. The tears never seem to end. My heart cannot accept yet. After his death the things that make me happy seem to not make me happy anymore.. I'll live, but my joy in living died with him. I will live forever in tears...
I love him more and more every day. I love him more than anything. My heart is truly broken. I lost the first and only love of my life. The pain and sorrow is just too great to put in words... I cant believe that my love died. I just can't! OMG! So many days, hours and months had passed ... and I cant believe it. I cry every day and every night. It is unbelievable how sad.
But we are not alone in this.... millions are hurting all over the world. This will be goodbye for now but not forever. We will see him when we get to Heaven.
I pray that he finds happiness wherever he is. Words fail me, I can't describe how much I miss him. I'd give my life for him to come back. Now I need to go someplace and cry. :cry:

(((((((((HUGS))))))))))

This is a heartbreaking post. I feel the same way. You brought me to tears.
 
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Newbie here! First i wanna just ask is this forum / messageboard the same one as: mjjboard.com ???


2. I want to say I still can't put MJ & death, let alone murder, together.... I still wish so much that i could go back in time & change things. First I wouldn't let MJ hire this "dr"
 
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