THIS IS IT. (truthful blog by Darren Hayes)

DARKLIGHTDAN

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
1,327
Points
0
Location
England, Manchester
In 1987 a 15 year old version of myself screamed his lungs as Michael Jackson sizzled and popped his way, seemingly on thin air, accross the floor of the Brisbane Entertainment Centre. He wore a shiny silver stage costume with black buckles on the shoulder and I swear I was so close I can still remember his perfume.



It's 22 years later and today I woke up and dubbed it 'Michael Jackson Day'. I'd booked tickets to go see his 'This Is It' movie and visit the exhibition of his costumes and memorabilia at the 02 Arena in London.

I had mixed feelings about the film prior to going in. I'd heard all the hype from the advertising machine and I'd heard the conspiracy theories from those who felt the film was cashing in. But somewhere in the middle I guess the chance to see my childhood hero on the big screen and on the precipice of a triumphant return was the feeling that trumped them all. Truth be told, even when tickets went on sale for the original concert that never was to be, I was skeptical. I'd seen M.J live many times, but the last time was in NYC in 2001 and he was clearly struggling.

I didn't blame him - what was left after the trials and tribulations of the child abuse accusations was a frail man, unsure of himself and gun shy in a spot light of humiliation and degradation. He seemed as though his spirit had been broken, that he'd become overwhelmed by the vultures and the fame monster.

That was a few days before September 11 2001.
I remember the show so clearly, not only because of its proximity to such a tragic date in history - but because I had seen my hero fall to the ground. After the concert
I had the overwhelming feeling that something was wrong, and I changed my plans dramatically to leave NYC earlier than planned. I was supposed to come home on September 11 (on a flight that would eventually, sadly, perish) and instead I chose to come home a few days earlier.

When I woke up on September 11 the world would never be the same.
For Michael Jackson, I guess this was true in a way none of us could have imagined back then.

Fast forward to recent times, and Michael had survived round 2 of scandal and accusation.
Only this time, perhaps only barely. We all know the story so I don't have to repeat it here. But the memory is one of a man on the run. From us. From Them. From himself. Less than half the man he used to be, seemingly stripped of his accolades and certainly his dignity.

Let me back it up by saying, M.J is and was my hero growing up. I didn't have a positive male role model in my life - and when I was teased at school for being a 'faggot' or 'queer' I looked up to this man who seemed to be both male and female to me. Strength and sensitivity. Subtlety and electric shock force in one. And when the world called him strange, I just saw myself reflected back. I saw a spirit that could not be broken. When I first saw him in concert, I think I've mentioned before, I suddenly knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. This feeling was the polar opposite of how I'd felt in New York in 2001.

So the idea of seeing M.J on stage again in 2009 - in a show that many suggested was a 'have to' instead of a 'want to' situation - I wasn't eager to bear witness.
Not because I didn't love Michael or appreciate his talent. I think it's because (and I'm ashamed to admit) I didn't really really think he could pull it off. And I wanted to remember Michael as the hero who inspired me. And not as the man the world turned him in to.

2 months before the 'This Is It' tour was due to open I got into a major Michael phase. I was ravenous about the 'Bad' tour (the first one I ever saw) and his costumes back then. Especially that silver shirt. I began frantically seraching for rare concert footage and listening to his albums daily. So much so that my other half thought I was losing it.

At the last minute, like most people, I bought a golden ticket to his show.

And a few weeks later, Michael had died.

Tonight, I've seen the film which is essentially a document of the rehearsal and almost dress rehearsal of what Michael's farewell performances were going to be. And I was filled with awe and sadness.

Awe in the scale, scope and ambition of the stage show.
Awe of Michael's spirit and talent - still present even in rehearsal mode.
But incredibly sad that he was robbed the opportunity to do these shows that would have reclaimed his dignity once and for all.

Like most people, I guess I had underestimated him.
If you believe the hype, he was barely present at rehearsals. He was ill (he did seem dramatically under weight) and 'out of it'. But what I saw, was a 50 year old man remembering his magic. I saw glimpses of brilliance and the possibility of a reclamation of respect from his peers and critics alike.

Walking through the halls of memorabilia afterwards, I found myself again filled with sadness and gratitude. So glad that the positive things about him seem to be the ones that linger. So sad that the silver shirt that I had reached out for in hysteria, separated by a crash barrier and layers of security, lasers and fog - was now inches from my hands. Not even behind glass. There. Touchable. Real.

I don't know what the lesson in any of this is.
I know the shock for me was seeing something so untouchable, so superhuman, appear to tangiable and, dare I say it, mortal.
But perhaps the biggest thought I'm left with is the need to appreciate things in the moment - and celebrate the blessings we're given when we have them.
Becuase as I watched the film the thought that kept playing over in my head was 'if only we had him for a little while longer. If only more people could have seen this'.

But that's the thing with 'if only'....
 
thanks for sharing , Wonderful Blog
 
Last edited:
Like most people, I guess I had underestimated him.
If you believe the hype, he was barely present at rehearsals. He was ill (he did seem dramatically under weight) and 'out of it'.
^^

Sad, sad. Another brainwashed individual.
If only people would not believe what they read cause always they seem to read the wrong.

Also it is amazing how MJ could be that ambitious, that dedicated although he knew there are so many PEOPLE that did not believe in him, the best of all. They did not believe in his ability because they did not think for themselves. It sure Like the silly one that asked him "are you still able to do the MOONWALK"? Hell, if not he, who?
Yes, there is always a posibility that a human being gets sick, but there were health check ups.
 
I enjoyed reading this blog. It was honest and sensitive.

But please *begin rant* for the love of God, can everyone on the planet drop this "he was painfully thin" garbage. He was about the same weight and height as my brother; I'm a couple of inches shorter, but proportionately similar weight for my height. About the right, healthy weight for our heights. I see so many thinner people every day, like the guy on the bus this morning. I also saw an anorexic woman on the bus (and heard her talking about her battle with it, as confirmation) and there is a BIG difference. Honestly, it's as plain as day to me that Michael was at a roughly normal weight. And we know that his health had nothing to do with his death. Let's put this one to bed, World, please. *end rant*

Anyway, other than that it was a nice blog lol
 
Like most people, I guess I had underestimated him.
If you believe the hype, he was barely present at rehearsals. He was ill (he did seem dramatically under weight) and 'out of it'.
^^

Sad, sad. Another brainwashed individual.
If only people would not believe what they read cause always they seem to read the wrong.

Also it is amazing how MJ could be that ambitious, that dedicated although he knew there are so many PEOPLE that did not believe in him, the best of all. They did not believe in his ability because they did not think for themselves. It sure Like the silly one that asked him "are you still able to do the MOONWALK"? Hell, if not he, who?
Yes, there is always a posibility that a human being gets sick, but there were health check ups.

he istn saying michael was ill he was stating that he was thin, i mean since wen hasnt michael been thin. darrens a huge fan of michaels and understands that the media portray him into something that he isnt...
 
Darren Hayes on This Is It...

The lovely Darren Hayes who has always loved Michael posted this today..
love you Darren.





MySpace.com | rss | sign in


Darren Hayes




spacer.gif
Friday, October 30, 2009
spacer.gif
This Is It..
In 1987 a 15 year old version of myself screamed his lungs as Michael Jackson sizzled and popped his way, seemingly on thin air, accross the floor of the Brisbane Entertainment Centre. He wore a shiny silver stage costume with black buckles on the shoulder and I swear I was so close I can still remember his perfume.



It's 22 years later and today I woke up and dubbed it 'Michael Jackson Day'. I'd booked tickets to go see his 'This Is It' movie and visit the exhibition of his costumes and memorabilia at the 02 Arena in London.

I had mixed feelings about the film prior to going in. I'd heard all the hype from the advertising machine and I'd heard the conspiracy theories from those who felt the film was cashing in. But somewhere in the middle I guess the chance to see my childhood hero on the big screen and on the precipice of a triumphant return was the feeling that trumped them all. Truth be told, even when tickets went on sale for the original concert that never was to be, I was skeptical. I'd seen M.J live many times, but the last time was in NYC in 2001 and he was clearly struggling.

I didn't blame him - what was left after the trials and tribulations of the child abuse accusations was a frail man, unsure of himself and gun shy in a spot light of humiliation and degradation. He seemed as though his spirit had been broken, that he'd become overwhelmed by the vultures and the fame monster.

That was a few days before September 11 2001.
I remember the show so clearly, not only because of its proximity to such a tragic date in history - but because I had seen my hero fall to the ground. After the concert
I had the overwhelming feeling that something was wrong, and I changed my plans dramatically to leave NYC earlier than planned. I was supposed to come home on September 11 (on a flight that would eventually, sadly, perish) and instead I chose to come home a few days earlier.

When I woke up on September 11 the world would never be the same.
For Michael Jackson, I guess this was true in a way none of us could have imagined back then.

Fast forward to recent times, and Michael had survived round 2 of scandal and accusation.
Only this time, perhaps only barely. We all know the story so I don't have to repeat it here. But the memory is one of a man on the run. From us. From Them. From himself. Less than half the man he used to be, seemingly stripped of his accolades and certainly his dignity.

Let me back it up by saying, M.J is and was my hero growing up. I didn't have a positive male role model in my life - and when I was teased at school for being a 'faggot' or 'queer' I looked up to this man who seemed to be both male and female to me. Strength and sensitivity. Subtlety and electric shock force in one. And when the world called him strange, I just saw myself reflected back. I saw a spirit that could not be broken. When I first saw him in concert, I think I've mentioned before, I suddenly knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. This feeling was the polar opposite of how I'd felt in New York in 2001.

So the idea of seeing M.J on stage again in 2009 - in a show that many suggested was a 'have to' instead of a 'want to' situation - I wasn't eager to bear witness.
Not because I didn't love Michael or appreciate his talent. I think it's because (and I'm ashamed to admit) I didn't really really think he could pull it off. And I wanted to remember Michael as the hero who inspired me. And not as the man the world turned him in to.

2 months before the 'This Is It' tour was due to open I got into a major Michael phase. I was ravenous about the 'Bad' tour (the first one I ever saw) and his costumes back then. Especially that silver shirt. I began frantically seraching for rare concert footage and listening to his albums daily. So much so that my other half thought I was losing it.

At the last minute, like most people, I bought a golden ticket to his show.

And a few weeks later, Michael had died.

Tonight, I've seen the film which is essentially a document of the rehearsal and almost dress rehearsal of what Michael's farewell performances were going to be. And I was filled with awe and sadness.

Awe in the scale, scope and ambition of the stage show.
Awe of Michael's spirit and talent - still present even in rehearsal mode.
But incredibly sad that he was robbed the opportunity to do these shows that would have reclaimed his dignity once and for all.

Like most people, I guess I had underestimated him.
If you believe the hype, he was barely present at rehearsals. He was ill (he did seem dramatically under weight) and 'out of it'. But what I saw, was a 50 year old man remembering his magic. I saw glimpses of brilliance and the possibility of a reclamation of respect from his peers and critics alike.

Walking through the halls of memorabilia afterwards, I found myself again filled with sadness and gratitude. So glad that the positive things about him seem to be the ones that linger. So sad that the silver shirt that I had reached out for in hysteria, separated by a crash barrier and layers of security, lasers and fog - was now inches from my hands. Not even behind glass. There. Touchable. Real.

I don't know what the lesson in any of this is.
I know the shock for me was seeing something so untouchable, so superhuman, appear to tangiable and, dare I say it, mortal.
But perhaps the biggest thought I'm left with is the need to appreciate things in the moment - and celebrate the blessings we're given when we have them.
Becuase as I watched the film the thought that kept playing over in my head was 'if only we had him for a little while longer. If only more people could have seen this'.

But that's the thing with 'if only'....
 
Re: Darren Hayes on This Is It...

Bless you Darren :hug: He has always been so nice about Michael,
I am a fan or his work too, amazing artist.
 
Re: Darren Hayes on This Is It...

omg Thank you Darren, always loved you
This is so honest, wow. Thanks

Insatiable, the way we love him, isn't it?

:hug: to Darren for that beautiful piece of heart he wrote, you just broke mine
 
Re: Darren Hayes on This Is It...

Wow that was beautiful. Thanks for posting.
 
Re: Darren Hayes on This Is It...

Very beautiful but so sad at the same time. I wish I stopped reading these things. :(:(:(
 
Re: Darren Hayes on This Is It...

Darren is such a sweetheart and a massive MJ fan, he's always said the nicest things so this doesn't come as a surprise.
Love ya Darren, you're pretty amazing yourself.
 
Re: Darren Hayes on This Is It...

thank you for sharing! that was very beautiful! :cry:
 
Re: Darren Hayes on This Is It...

MSG wasn't that bad.

I actually quite enjoyed MSG and do to this day. Did Michael seem a bit under the weather or whatever during it yes...but he still had it then. He was also dealing with certain people at SONY and TM's corrupt ass. He was fighting even then...had been for years...

I love Darren and his words were very nice. I'm a big fan of his.

However, I must say that (and I do believe Darren himself pointed this out) people truly did underestimate him. Michael may have been kicked and hurt by so many during the trial but he was not a broken man. Michael was not "half the man" he used to be etc...but he had been hurt BADLY! So he needed to "get away", which he did. Michael needed the time he took off to rest and to gather himself together again. To strengthen himself. And at that press conference...and in the movie...Michael was back! He had come out of the depths of hell and despair and he was in fighting form. Just thinking of how he looked at the PC makes me smile. He was so excited and was feeding off the fans energy. He was ready to show the world, "Hey they tried to break me, but here I am standing tall." Michael imho was not "finding" himself in the film or rediscovering his genius or whatever...he was driven, he knew EXACTLY what he wanted and he was going all out.

And this is what I love so much about this man...There always seemed to be this atmosphere in the media and the like, that Michael Jackson HAS to "prove" himself...again...and again...BUT he knew he didn't have too. He knew what he could do and he was going to do it. He took the lead and was fully ready to get it out there again. He was showing the "newbies" in the film what a master at work was like...What genius looked like.

And even after saying that, I still appreciate Darren's kind words, and I always have.

Michael was Michael and he with THIS IS IT again showed to those who underestimated him that even if he hadn't been on stage in a decade all he had to do was step on it and it all came rushing back.

LONG. LIVE. THE. KING.
 
Last edited:
Re: Darren Hayes on This Is It...

I've always liked Savage Garden and Darren Hayes.

Darren seems to be feel like a lot of the rest of the world does. In awe of a great man, but was skeptical because of all Michael had been put through off stage since the millennium. He always loved Michael, but he wanted that man of his youth that inspired him so much back.

Darren is so reflective in all of his blogs about Michael since his passing. He may be a famous musician, but he seems to be just as much a fanboy as we are fangirls/boys!
 
Last edited:
Re: Darren Hayes on This Is It...

To be honest, what Darren said kinda pisses me off.

I'm so sick of people, even his fans, underestimating Michael while he was alive. I never once doubted him or his God-given gift.

Even in the wilderness years from 2002-2008, I never had one moment where I thought MJ didn't have it in him to come back and be great again. Not once. People should've had more faith in Michael while he was alive instead of jumping on the gravy-train now that he's dead.
 
Re: Darren Hayes on This Is It...

having doubts about MJ doesn't mean he's loved any less or that your not a fan. i too had doubts when the concerts were upped to 50. it never meant i was disrespecting him or not being a fan or not loving him, i was concerned. now TII has shown the world that MJ was up for this and was going to thrill us all again. but we all look through different eyes and see different things, thats why people have their own opinions.
i for one think Darren spoke with honesty and his love and respect for MJ showed through. but thats just my opinion.
 
Re: Darren Hayes on This Is It...

i like the fact that the film helped MJ's levery legacy in a very positive way.
thanks to God and to Ortega's true friendship.
 
Back
Top