I feel Guilt

[The Ghost of Jealousy]

Michaels dead,nothing we can do can bring him back.It's there.

Michaels dead.

Hard to digest even now eh? My man dead,but......

I'm ashamed.I didn't cover his back when he needed me,I wasn't there.You ever seen that footprints poem about God? I wasn't there.

If you're taking the time to read this then you're with me,so let me take you back to 1985.I lived in a pokey wee flat just me and my dad.The room,no joke,was wall to ceiling MJ posters.I was on the top bunk of a bunkbead and the bad promo poster was above me!
I woke up every morning thinking "whos' bad? am bad!" then I faced the world.

I wore a jacket that my gran got me from Spain with the Bad cover on the back of it and took the abuse (even back then it was the case,hey,kids are harsh)for it but didn't care.Man,I want'd to be him so......Bad

I went to school disco's,danced like (o.k. poorly imitate my man Mike) girls would circle me and my cousin Stephen just watching us dance like Mike.He could moonwalk but I couldn't so the circle naturally gravitated to him.I hated him for it too,he stole my circle!

Try as I may,and I mean try,I just couldn't do the moonwalk.

Anyway

I remember Black Or White coming out,I mean it was a big event.Yet by that time I was a half assed teen.I was into females and not really following his career.Yet I still remember the Debut of the song.

The moment I turned my back.

I gave up.Even hid my love of the man.People would ask "are you a Michael Jackson fan?" I'd be like "me? that beast? no chance"

I hid it away as it was hard being a Michael Jackson fan in Glasgow.You ever been to Glasgow? They'd eat you alive for even listening to music in my scheme.Music is a 'bit poofy'.

I ****ed up.

I lost something and it died with Michael.

I remember the trial and thinking 'God no,please no'. Then the pay off. I thought God no,it's stigma.Still I turned away from it like it was 3 o clock bulletin that had nothing to do with me.

I'm going to jump here as I'm not even sure if this will show up so I'm not going to go on.

[witchanna]

ok don't feel guilty
(im 32 years young girl) acting like a 15 years young
ok don't feel like you did something wrong when in 1985-1992
you did kind of hide your feelings that where michael fan
most boys in teenage years(13-19) do hide their real feelings nothing wrong with that
okay here is my michael jackson
http://michaelsneverland.forumotion.net/