I'm scared for tomorrow

beccalovesmj

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Its June tomorrow, I know you don't all need reminding, but I just, I'm physically scared, its the start :mello:
This year has been the fastest in my life I swear :boohoo: when theres nothing to look forward to it goes so fast,

Just :hug: to everyone whos feeling the same as me :(

We miss you Michael :boohoo:
 
gee, I just turned the page on MJ calendar, when I saw what they wrote small font, down on the right side I just couldn't hold my tears back. It was an hour ago and I am still siting down on the floor in my darken room, listening to WYBT and crying my eyes out. It's all coming back all the time. Due the shadows in my room I only see his eyes looking at me from every picture I have here :cry:
I just hate the time is running so fast as it couldn't just for once turn back. One year back... :cry:
:hug: to you beccalovesmj, and every one of you guys here :(
 
Big hugs to everyone :huggy:

This is going to be a really tough time for me now, I've got English GCSE exams on the 8th and 10th, a Biology GCSE exam and a French GCSE exam on the 9th, a Chemistry GCSE exam on the 16th and a physics GCSE exam on the 26th... The physics ones gonna be really tough for me, I don't wanna do anything so close to the 25th :no:
 
I'm not scared June begins tommorrow, I just feel enormous sadness as the one-year anniversary is fastly approaching. It is reliving that unforgettable day all over again.
 
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:cry: I can't believe it's almost been a year! We'll be OK though, we've got each other for support and Michael's crown will never, ever be taken from him. He is still the most famous man in the world
 
This has literally been the fastest year of my life! :weeping:
feels like yesterday he was anouncing the concert in london, i remember hearing it on the bus radio in the morning and then getting into school and looking online for tickets! :(

we really miss you Michael x
 
Its June tomorrow, I know you don't all need reminding, but I just, I'm physically scared, its the start :mello:
This year has been the fastest in my life I swear :boohoo: when theres nothing to look forward to it goes so fast,

Just :hug: to everyone whos feeling the same as me :(

We miss you Michael :boohoo:

I'm with you. I started being nervous since last month thinking about what they would do on TV. They would pretend to have programs glorifying his legacy. They would begin in a positive way, but then they would slip in a lot of trash and say nasty things. People would give they own nasty interpretations of Michael and his actions and on and on. This is what will make the month and 25th so heart wrenching for us. I intend to stay away from the TV that day, say some prayers for him, light a candle, and get him some fresh flowers. Maybe we could make a thread about good things about MJ so we can all have a happy place to chat on that day.
 
Right you are. It used to be a good month, back in the old days when MJ was here. Murray has turned it into a Pit of Dread and Grief for many.

I could not agree with you more. I would never ever forgive that monster of what he did to us.


I am trying so hard right now of not to cry. Especially since I had just change my MJ calendar to June and I too saw that little message for the 25th. OMG did that hurt so very much of seeing that little note. I have always hated Summer but I hate Summer even more now. Especially since that was the season that I lost my beloved Michael in. When I think back of how happy I was during that month last year. Especially for Michael and those concerts that he was going to do. Little did I knew that my happiness was forever going to end later that month. I still can't believe that it has been almost an year now since I was last happy. I just so very badly wish I knew then of what I know now. I really would try and do everything that I could possibly do and save Michael's life. Though maybe the outcome would have been the same. But I still keep being haunted by that horrible vivid nightmare that I had back in July. I was actually in the same room with Michael as I was watching him experience his last few minutes on Earth. It really hurt so extremely much to be in another room in that nightmare and to see Michael's poor children crying. So a very big :hug: to you and to everyone else who needs it. I too of course know exactly how you feel. :cry: :boohoo:
 
I really don't know what to do.
I just can't believe this time has finally come.
I have done nothing. I have lost a treasure I took for grantend and I am stuck. I just can't move on. I just can't. I just keep reading and reading and learning and telling myself what a stupid girl I was not to manage to find a way to ever get to actually know him and hold his hand and just say THANK YOU, MICHAEL.
I don't understandy myself, I don't understand my feelings, I don't understand my head anymore.
I just wanna hide, sleep, forget... and then, I just want to hold on to the memories and never let go.
I am useless. I just don't know how to handle this anymore.
 
I am crying again. I just cannot believe that it has almost been a year. I still hope that I will wake up and this will have all been a bad dream. It is just too hard hard knowing I have to go through everyday of my life thinking about Michael and how much I love him and how amazing he is knowing he isn't here anymore. The pain is too much to bear right now. Michael why'd you have to go? :weeping:
 
I have been dreading this month. :no: I wish we could just skip June and go straight to July.
 
Oh man, it's going to be rough for a lot of us. I can't believe it's almost been a year, it doesn't feel like it. :/ I don't want to turn the page on my calendar cuz that date will be all that I'll see.
 
I have been dreading this month. :no: I wish we could just skip June and go straight to July.

I agree with you. But I wish we could skip the entire Summer season and go right in to Autumn. Because all summer long I am going to be thinking of what I was doing last Summer. That was spending most of last Summer in bed sleeping and just trying to forget of what happen. Though it's pretty hard when you have a bedroom full of pictures and posters of Michael. I remember during the first month alone I had lost probably close to or over 40 pounds. Because eating really was the very last thing I had wanted to do. All I wanted to do was just sleep.


You know I used to kind of like the month of June. But ever since what happen last June I no longer like that month. I absolutely hate that month with a passion now. I am starting to cry again thinking about what Michael was doing last year. And not even probably knowing of what was going to happen to him later last June. It is still so hard seeing my frame This Is It poster in my room. As well as anything else that I have that has to do with This Is It. And not even knowing at the time that it really was going to be it. :sad: :boohoo:
 
I agree with you. But I wish we could skip the entire Summer season and go right in to Autumn. Because all summer long I am going to be thinking of what I was doing last Summer. That was spending most of last Summer in bed sleeping and just trying to forget of what happen. Though it's pretty hard when you have a bedroom full of pictures and posters of Michael. I remember during the first month alone I had lost probably close to or over 40 pounds. Because eating really was the very last thing I had wanted to do. All I wanted to do was just sleep.


You know I used to kind of like the month of June. But ever since what happen last June I no longer like that month. I absolutely hate that month with a passion now. I am starting to cry again thinking about what Michael was doing last year. And not even probably knowing of what was going to happen to him later last June. It is still so hard seeing my frame This Is It poster in my room. As well as anything else that I have that has to do with This Is It. And not even knowing at the time that it really was going to be it. :sad: :boohoo:
:better:

Yeah, you're right. The entire summer was horrible last year, but especially June. Every time I think of that month, my thoughts go straight to Michael, and whenever I hear "June 25th", I cringed. I wish I could just forget last year all together.

I know this may be hard to believe at a time like this, but I am convinced that it'll get better.. eventually. Of course I'm sure every MJ fan will forever hate that day, but I hope you get to the point where whenever summer comes around, you don't always think of that horrible day.
 
:hug: to everyone :boohoo:

I have my GCSE's as well :( But on 25th I'm at work experience,, i'm happy about that because its at a nursery so I'll be with little children hopefully making them laugh and smile like michael wanted, I'm glad i'm going to be there,
xxxxxxxx
 
I really don't know what to do.
I just can't believe this time has finally come.
I have done nothing. I have lost a treasure I took for grantend and I am stuck. I just can't move on. I just can't. I just keep reading and reading and learning and telling myself what a stupid girl I was not to manage to find a way to ever get to actually know him and hold his hand and just say THANK YOU, MICHAEL.
I don't understandy myself, I don't understand my feelings, I don't understand my head anymore.
I just wanna hide, sleep, forget... and then, I just want to hold on to the memories and never let go.
I am useless. I just don't know how to handle this anymore.

Me too. Sending hugs :hug:
 
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