I miss you. I miss you every second of every day. I am still having a really hard time believing I won't ever hold you again. How can that be? I don't know how it all went so wrong, and I am so sorry I couldn't help you, make you whole again. I am trying to move on without you, but you are in every fiber of me. You always will be. I still want to be with you more than anything I have ever wanted in my life. I was right... you and I were soulmates. You were my everything… always. Are you doing okay? I wonder how you are, when I am not doing so okay.
Have you found peace? Can you see me, and can you see what this has done to me? Do you know how badly I want to end my life sometimes and escape the pain in my heart? Do you know my life became a F4 tornado the second you died? I didn't think this would ever happen, why did you have to die? Your death damn near killed me. It for sure killed a part of me. I won't ever be the same person, part of me will always be broken. You took part of my soul with you when you left me.
I want you to know how very much you were loved, by me... your kids... your family. You WERE LOVED!!! Your death left us all with a very big void. You left an impression on this world. You broke the mold in so many ways. You were such a beautiful man, talented, full of love and laughter, and so wise in so many ways. You are missed greatly, by so many. I won't ever forget you…..how could I? You are in every breath I take, now and always. I am so sorry baby the way this turned out, you will never know how sorry I am. As the year mark of your death draws nearer I can't say I miss you any less... I think it will be the hardest part I have lived through this far. Please be there for me, love me anyway you can, from where ever you are. I need you. I will always need you. I will always love you. Can you hear me?
Forever in my heart,