not the best day

JMie

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today is not the best day for me.. i spent the whole evening crying and I just can't stop. I miss him so much. I have this thought in my head that he is a part of the past now and it breaks me apart. This past tense is killing me. I know, I know, his music is alive, his legacy, his message..... but it's not enough. I am so depressed right now, you have no idea.

It's like you go from one day to the next thinking that you are kind of okay now, that you've learned to deal with all this and then it just hits you all over again. and you cry and cry and cry and you can't stop.

I hate this. I hate the past tense.
 
Holding your hand Jmie... :huggy: I miss him too... :(
Sending you lots of love and strength! :group: :heart: Take care! :give_heart:
Diana xx
 
today is not the best day for me.. i spent the whole evening crying and I just can't stop. I miss him so much. I have this thought in my head that he is a part of the past now and it breaks me apart. This past tense is killing me. I know, I know, his music is alive, his legacy, his message..... but it's not enough. I am so depressed right now, you have no idea.

It's like you go from one day to the next thinking that you are kind of okay now, that you've learned to deal with all this and then it just hits you all over again. and you cry and cry and cry and you can't stop.

I hate this. I hate the past tense.

I do not know if my words will give you any comfort but , I have to say that we cannot change the rules of God. Human’s body is mortal but there is hope always that our souls continue their path after death. I do not like past tense myself if speaking about Michael or somebody else who was a part of my life. It is hard to take the fact that suddenly this person is gone. I lost my mother just 2 months ago and had to deal with Michael’s passing still at the same time. :(
I think that the most important thing we have to understand that our time will come too one day and we are here not forever and every day has a value. It is like a school. We should not waste any time.

We have to go through our life lessons just like Michael went through his and to learn how to live our OWN live without ppl we loved. It is hard, but there is nothing else we can do. We just have to accept his death and death in general as a fact which we cannot change.

For me last year was like an emotional rollercoaster and it still up and down. I spent one year, reading New Age books and participating in spiritual discussions, observing related websites to balance my emotions and my spirit.
There is a book written by Michael Newton based on his own research called “Destiny of Souls” (another one is “ Journey of Souls”) which gives many answers to many questions. Maybe you should try this one for start and see if it works for you? If you find it OK, there are many other things you can read and watch. I think it is important for us to understand our OWN spiritual path because once we understand it, life has a different meaning.
Everything changes, the world around you changes.

In some African traditions ppl say: We do not have to think about man’s passing. We have to think about WHERE he is going ..... We all have to think WHERE we are going...

Universe is a miracle itself and our life given by God is like a little universe. We all dead or alive are little parts of One.

I do not know if my explanation was good enough to help you.
I hope you will be all right :huggy:
 
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Aw JMie, I don't know you but I'd like to give you a big hug right now. I know what you're feeling. I hope God soothe your heart and give you wisdom to overcome all this things.
 
JMie I know exactly how you feel. It is like this for me probably every single day ever since it first happen. I know now my depression over Michael is never going to go away. I am still just learning how to live with my depression. Cause no matter what I do or get thinking it might help me with my depression it really doesn't. And I know I am always forever going to be in mourning for him. It really can't be help because of the fact I have been a fan of his since the early 80s. And the one thing I still can no longer feel is happiness. I still haven't felt a single ounce of pure happiness since before it happen. My happiness is just forever gone from me. Sadness and misery just forever took the place of where my happiness should be. And I have since truly gotten used to feeling this way. Especially since Michael has always been the only person in my life that has always made me feel happy and always made me L.O.V.E. life. Now ever since what had happen to Michael feeling any of those happy type feelings is something I am never going to know again. And I just plain hate living anymore. I just want to be with my Michael so badly anymore. And I just hate that I am still not with him. :sad: :boohoo:
 
thank you so much guys.. your words mean a lot. I feel a bit better today...

*hugs everyone in this thread*
 
I am sorry you are feeling so sad. Do you think you may be suffering from clinical depression? x
 
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