Michael passed almost two years ago now.

In that time, there has been pain and sadness.

However, in that time there has also been joy and laughter.

I don't deny my feelings when they are negative, but I do not and will not let them consume me and dictate the course of my life. I especially want to enjoy myself now, as the trial is starting very soon and lord knows what's going to be coming out then.

I guess to some, that's the wrong thing to do. I suppose I should have reacted to Michael's death by quitting my job and shutting myself in my room for the rest of my life, only emerging to wash myself and squirrel bits of food back to my hideout.


I've been growing increasingly frustrated over what I see as people disrespecting his wishes, and pretty much his message of love and togetherness. This was the last straw.

Do you really think that Michael wants us to be constantly unhappy? To wallow in grief non-stop? To stay home and feel sad rather than go out and live our lives?

It's okay to do. It doesn't mean that Michael is no longer important in our lives. It does NOT mean that we no longer miss him or care about him. It means that we are choosing to live.

Let's not forget these words from "Angel of Light," in Dancing the Dream:

"You can pray to the angels and they will listen, but the best way to call them, I am told, is to laugh. Angels respond to delight, because that is what they are made of. In fact, when people's minds are clouded by anger or hatred, no angel can reach them."

If we cannot do these things, how will we ever heal?

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