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Growing Up...

StephluvsMJ

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Do you guys ever feel like you can't grow up? Physically, you're getting older, but you still feel like a kid.

I've just been wondering about it lately because, I'll be 20 years old in April, and I feel like I'm not ready to do certain things that most people my age are doing. Like having boyfriends, partying, drinking alcohol or just acting like a regular 20 year old.

I'm currently completing a secretarial course at the moment, and I'm terrified of getting a job in an office because I'm not sure if I could handle all of the responsibilities. I'm just scared of messing something up. And it doesn't help when you're doing something in class, bookkeeping for example, and you can tell that your teacher thinks you would never be able to do this in real life. I just don't feel like I can do it because I'm too immature. Is it normal to feel like that, or am I just weird? lol
 
oh i definitely feel u.

I'm 20 myself. In college. Never really had a REAL job. had ONE bf...lol I must admit i did my fair share of partying, but i'm not CRAZY about it lol

I think it just boils down to having confidence in urself. How many BF's or wasted parties u have doesn't equal maturity.
 
I always was in a hurry to grow up, but once I legally became a adult, I knew I had to start living up to it. I'd give anything to go back 10 yrs and be 14 again. Not a care in the world.
 
To be honest, about the job thing, i think it's the cause of low self esteem.

However, drinking alcohol and boyfriends? Boyfriends are a pain in the neck unless it's Mr.Right and alcohol is just toxic chemicals.
 
I don't even want to grow up. I'm probably going to move to my own apartment to a city I don't know next fall and I'm not sure if I'll manage on my own. Now my parents are taking care of all important things like bills etc.
 
This is almost like hearing myself talk...
I feel the same. I'm 18 years old now and I have to choose what I want to do at the university. But I don't know what kind of job I want to do for the rest of my life!!! I really think 18 is much to soon:(.
My friends do go out and they always ask if I want to come but I never want to. I like dancing a lot but going to a party isn't really about dancing anymore... For a lot of people it's just about getting drunk or finding a boy/girlfriend and I'm really not interested in that :)
Anyway, my biggest concern now is finding out what I want to study next year. I'm doubting because I always thought that being a doctor would be nice but I've done economics untill now so maybe I better choose something economical... I don't know...
 
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I feel the same way, I'm physically 25 and I still feel like I'm 17. :lol:
 
You know, growing up is not that bad. Its freedom, but with that comes responsebility- thats just how it is.
I would never go "back" in age, and I would not change what I have experienced so far- even the bad things!
I think that if you spend your life doing what you want, and are eager to find out what you want to do, where you want to live, who you want to be- age realy does not matter.
Life is a big gift, and every day you can do what you want with it. Trying to escape from growing up, will eventualy rob you of the joy life can be.
And I don`t mean that everything is always great, or even pleasant- there are things in life that is boring, that restricts your freedom, and that makes you feel you don`t now what to do- but still; you live, here- now. And what you make of it, is up to you.

This is not to say that I don`t understand the feeling you have. But you are in a age where many decisions has to be made. And you make them, even if you try to resist, if you know what I mean? Better make them concious choises, then just drift along. Because ignoring it will still be a choice, and will lead your life in a direction. At least if you make your own desicions, and shoulder the responsebility you know you did it "your way":)
 
I thought I'd bring this up here, instead of creating a new thread since it's a slightly controversial subject, but part of the stress of growing up can sometimes be being confused about your sexuality. I know it is for me at least. I always thought I was straight, and I always enjoyed straight sex. But then at a party late last year I had sex with this guy and now I'm confused about my sexuality because a) I wanted to have sex with that guy and b) I liked it. Anyway, that's another part of growing up that I'm wondering if any else has experience or is experiencing?
 
I think in a sense of understanding the world and knowing what I want to do in my life, i'm mature for my age, but my personality and interests are very childish. LOL

But I dont ever want to change that :]
 
Bob George said:
I thought I'd bring this up here, instead of creating a new thread since it's a slightly controversial subject, but part of the stress of growing up can sometimes be being confused about your sexuality. I know it is for me at least. I always thought I was straight, and I always enjoyed straight sex. But then at a party late last year I had sex with this guy and now I'm confused about my sexuality because a) I wanted to have sex with that guy and b) I liked it. Anyway, that's another part of growing up that I'm wondering if any else has experience or is experiencing?
Click to expand...

Bob George I totally know what you're going through. Heres my very warped sexuality story.. Its absolutely nothing like your story but i'll get to the point once i've finished my monologue.. lol

When I was 14 I realised I liked boys, and in this big rush to label myself I decided to come out as gay when I was 15. I had one boyfriend which lasted about 5 or 6 months and then I left him (he turned into a total asshole). After that I started to question myself again and realised i'd always liked girls too (why I didn't realise that before then I have no idea.. /rolls eyes) But I always supressed it and stayed as gay, because I felt that it suited me better. (in real life i'm quite feminine, and I thought it was better to stay gay, because girls want a masculine guy etc) So I supressed all those feelings I had for girls even though my attraction for women is very much on par with my attraction for men. Cutting a long story short, it felt horrible lying to myself just because I have more chance with men and being gay 'suited' me. About 2 months ago I finally came out as bisexual, it feels really good, and right now i'm looking for a girlfriend again. :]

Like I said, its nothing like your story, but my advice to you is not to rush into labelling yourself. Its so easy to just think "oh I like guys, so i'm gay." But there are so many different things to think about. Its likely that you are just an experimental person and you wanted to try something new, sexually. If you do find men attractive and wish to do the same thing again, then you could be bisexual. Or in the future you might get bored of relationships with women because they lack something which you need, and consider being gay... Many things could happen to sway you one way or the other!!

Just give it time and you will discover yourself. :] Labels are important in the long run but you can take as long as you need to reach your decision.

Much love x
 
raisa said:
This is almost like hearing myself talk...
I feel the same. I'm 18 years old now and I have to choose what I want to do at the university. But I don't know what kind of job I want to do for the rest of my life!!! I really think 18 is much to soon:(.
My friends do go out and they always ask if I want to come but I never want to. I like dancing a lot but going to a party isn't really about dancing anymore... For a lot of people it's just about getting drunk or finding a boy/girlfriend and I'm really not interested in that :)
Anyway, my biggest concern now is finding out what I want to study next year. I'm doubting because I always thought that being a doctor would be nice but I've done economics untill now so maybe I better choose something economical... I don't know...
Click to expand...
Maybe you know which University you wanna go to? If so then look what they do offer and what interests you. Usually they don't offer only programmes with names, usually there's written what the contents of readings, courses etc. is and what you're supposed to learn there or hear more about at least lol... also you can usually find in programmes (at least over here) which course you need for which degree and what kinds of job directions you can do then, but our Universitys also have some kind of job center which offer advice with that. Don't feel stupid cuz you don't know all these things. Ppl who do not ask for advice are more stupid in a way. Just collect all information available.
If you want to study medicine look what you have to study for it. Maybe you have also some kind of student offices where student offer their own experiences in different subjects and give advices to 'maybe newbees'. In germany you can also even go into readings before you're actually a student yourself... try it and find out if it's really interesting for you. It's so exciting.

I started with medicine cuz ppl who thought they know me all thought I'd be a very good doctor and I wasn't really sure... but that subject was boring to me... felt like studying human engine construction... so I got informed and the decision was easy, I changed to psychology. very good decision.^_^
 
StephluvsMJ said:
Do you guys ever feel like you can't grow up? Physically, you're getting older, but you still feel like a kid.

I've just been wondering about it lately because, I'll be 20 years old in April, and I feel like I'm not ready to do certain things that most people my age are doing. Like having boyfriends, partying, drinking alcohol or just acting like a regular 20 year old.

I'm currently completing a secretarial course at the moment, and I'm terrified of getting a job in an office because I'm not sure if I could handle all of the responsibilities. I'm just scared of messing something up. And it doesn't help when you're doing something in class, bookkeeping for example, and you can tell that your teacher thinks you would never be able to do this in real life. I just don't feel like I can do it because I'm too immature. Is it normal to feel like that, or am I just weird? lol
Click to expand...

lol well I'd say I'm still a kid but I do enjoy the freedom of adulthood.
I'm really happy some mistakes are behind me and I've reached some financial independency.
The more you're able to find a good fundament for your life when you're young the better you'll be able to enjoy life when you're lucky enough and stay healthy while getting older I'd say.
 
i think the most important thing is to stay true to urself and not try to fit into some category. just cuz most 20 year olds go to parties all the time, have relationships, drink etc doesnt mean u should do those things as well. just try to be u. try to discover who u really are and dont think ur not mature enough or grown up enough because u dont do things that most grown ups do. i've always been myself and i've never tried to fit into a category not even when i was in puberty.
im 21 and i do and have done things that most ppl in my age havent. it just feels real good to be urself otherwise u just come across as fake to ppl. i've seen ppl drinking and smoking only to be acceptable by "friends" and they seemed so fake. they would curse and drink and flirt with guys only to seem "cool" but they definitely werent.

all u need to do is discover urself. then just follow ur heart and simply be U and nobody else. some ppl will like u others wont. thats the way it goes. u cant please everyone.
 
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xX.Joey.Xx said:
Bob George I totally know what you're going through. Heres my very warped sexuality story.. Its absolutely nothing like your story but i'll get to the point once i've finished my monologue.. lol

When I was 14 I realised I liked boys, and in this big rush to label myself I decided to come out as gay when I was 15. I had one boyfriend which lasted about 5 or 6 months and then I left him (he turned into a total asshole). After that I started to question myself again and realised i'd always liked girls too (why I didn't realise that before then I have no idea.. /rolls eyes) But I always supressed it and stayed as gay, because I felt that it suited me better. (in real life i'm quite feminine, and I thought it was better to stay gay, because girls want a masculine guy etc) So I supressed all those feelings I had for girls even though my attraction for women is very much on par with my attraction for men. Cutting a long story short, it felt horrible lying to myself just because I have more chance with men and being gay 'suited' me. About 2 months ago I finally came out as bisexual, it feels really good, and right now i'm looking for a girlfriend again. :]

Like I said, its nothing like your story, but my advice to you is not to rush into labelling yourself. Its so easy to just think "oh I like guys, so i'm gay." But there are so many different things to think about. Its likely that you are just an experimental person and you wanted to try something new, sexually. If you do find men attractive and wish to do the same thing again, then you could be bisexual. Or in the future you might get bored of relationships with women because they lack something which you need, and consider being gay... Many things could happen to sway you one way or the other!!

Just give it time and you will discover yourself. :] Labels are important in the long run but you can take as long as you need to reach your decision.

Much love x
Click to expand...
My friend has a sort of similar story to yours. He was never good with girls. He couldn't get any of them to go out with him or have sex with him. So he decided to "come out" as a gay guy because he thought he'd have a better chance "scoring" with gay guys. I don't know how he came to that conclusion. I suppose because there aren't many gay guys in my town so they'd be almost as desperate as him or something. I don't know what he's train of thought was. But he's not gay. I know this. But he feels that he's got a better chance of hooking up with a gay guy than with a girl. But I'm sure he will figure it out in the future. As will I, hopefully. You're right that I'm experimental. I wanted to try gay sex, and it turned out I enjoyed it. I could be bisexual. But I still in my experimental stages right now I think. I'm only young. I have a while to find my true sexual identity.
 
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