just some old poems from my past

I didn't have time to read them all, but I think you are very talented.

Ape said:
What does the future hold?

God help me please.
I feel so blank
I feel there is nothing I can do.
I can't continue this way. I have to change something. What is the point of anything? Why are we? in existance.
Sometimes it seems there is no reason for anything at all....

Then I look up and in the distance, I see every shade of green on a hillside. So much beauty He has given us. I am reminded that He does love us. He has given us so much to show that He does care, Each creation He held, He placed out for His children. There can be so much joy. There can be happiness. There can be a reason for all of this.

As individuals, there is nothingness. In solitude, there is question upon question with no answer. What is it that makes this life special? Nothing if I am alone, Nothing if I don't reach out to another. Nothing if I affect no one in this life. What makes this life special, is others.

With each kiss, there is a breath of life. With each touch, there is a magic that brings meaning to this life. With each loving glance there brings with it a joy that fills our hears and spills out to fill every crack and turns stark stretches of barren land into lush sensuous gardens. Here is where we will rediscover our Eden. Here is where we will no longer look for happiness and meaning, because it will be everywhere we look. It will be coursing through our blood. There will be no reason ever to search again.

But what if that kiss we give gets forgotten? What if that touch is not wanted? What if that loving glance is scorned? ......
The garden shrivels up under the scorching heat and the land turns barren once again.

I don't want to live under the fear of "what if". I want to love. I want that pure, real, magical, unselfish, freely giving and happily, thankfully recieving love. I want that predestined, from the heavens, true true true love. No fear love, childlike love, unconditional love. The One love...

this is my favorite. absolutely beautiful :)
 
Thank you WriterGirl :)

I found out about the poetry thread after posting this. I guess it's in the wrong spot.
 
:) thank you for reading and enjoying them, and commenting :D It's nice to get feedback.
 
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I thought I'd post some of my old poems



First poem I had ever written (1993)

I saw a sight, no bit of fright
To taint my solomn soul.
Held hard his hand over untrodden land
'Cross a bridge who was not whole.

Ten thousand feet above the ground
Learing down we both had found
Reality always had been
That of which we'd always seen

Though magic hid it for a while
Tall trees, lush leaves, they made us smile.
But searching deeper, opening eyes
Revealed a truth, no telling lies

A pond so pure, A love so true
Predestined love we always knew
The sight I saw within my soul
He is the one who makes me whole.



-------------------------------------------------------------

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Speak To Me

Speak to me

your words are like soft kisses to my ears

I want to hear your every wish, every dream, every desire..

every fear,



Touch my soul

with the beating of your heart

like gentle fingertips trailing down my back

bringing every part of me in tune with all of you,



Hold me close

in your thoughts and let me be the one

to bring you comfort and joy..

the one to fullfill your every wish, every dream, every desire,



Trust in me

let me wipe away your tears

bathing you in my own

to wash away all your sorrow,



Stay with me

I'll give you strength to face your biggest fears.

I want to care for you when you feel weak

help you grow stronger day by day,



Love me

as I will love you

together

with no ending...

------------------------------------------------------


Friday, February 25, 2005

A kiss from near

The whispered kiss
warmed his lips
as he lay down to rest.

And from afar
wished on a star
he'd always have her best.

Then fast asleep
they both did fall
as hearts did fall as well.

Into the night
a sudden light
two dreams began to swell.

He dreamt of her
she dreamt of him
upon a midnight journey.

And there they met
soul flesh to flesh
with overwhelming yearning.

For on the winds
did passion find
each true loves longing heart.

In sleeps sweet grace
he touched her face
she felt him from the start.

No wind to bring
soft kiss to lips
no air between
their fingertips
for now he felt
her tender lips
upon his own.

mesmerized
his hands caress
sweet ecstasy
flesh touching flesh
lips pressed to lips
and from her chest
escaping moan.

And though the kiss
from last they felt
brought tender love
two hearts did melt.

A kiss from near
wished on a star
was sweeter still
than a kiss from afar.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Take My Hand

I hear you when your calling
Another day is dawning
So could we take this day
and throw your worries all away?

Come here with me my darling
I'll help you when you've fallen
You've given strength to me
It's time I helped to set you free

Come take my hand and
We'll take this world together
Don't you let go now I
I said I'm here forever

Didn't you hear me
When I called to you?
Didn't you hear me
Crying for you?

Those tears are for real
they come from my heart
there is nothing to fear
while we are not apart and

I just want you to know this
Send you neverending bliss
I just want you to feel all
this joy seeping through your walls

Just hold my hand and
We'll help each other through
Won't let go now there's
Nothing you have to prove

It's what you would deserve
I am only here to serve
This battle can be won
The pain forever done
the pain forever done
the pain forever done

------------------------------------------------------


Put yourself in those shoes and glove
Suddenly you are on trapped on display
Who can you trust, who can you love?
Would you ever again be able to play?
Do you shut yourself out from the rest of the world?
Or place your love out and hope it to grow.
Could your grain of love turn into a pearl?
Are they real and sincere, and how would you know?

So strong yet so vulnerably living your life
Woman begging to be your wife
Loneliness takes over causing you strife
Hurts so much more than being cut by a knife

What would you do?
Would you chance it again?
What if that love grew?
There is plenty to gain.
This choice is for you
I pray you're done with the pain.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Share

How can I help? What can I do?
I'll tell you what I'd like to do for you.
Can I bring you a slice of my life?
give it to you for you to taste?
Share with you so you can feel it's freedom?
Could I take you to a coffee shop?
Share a pop, then we'll stop
in for a movie matinee
I would like that anyway
After the show
then where would you like to go?
Visit a friend or two?
It wouldn't have to end for you
Take the kids down to the park
we could play, or sit and talk
together on the park bench
then lay out our picnic lunch
and sprawl out on the grass
I'm sure the time would pass
much too quickly, but there is always
tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow....
This is what I'd like to do
for us two, me and you.

If then you wanted to see
If you could share some of yours with me.
What would we do then?
Just hang out and be friends?
listen to the screaming fans?
Throw signed bed sheets across the land?
Duck behind your bodyguards while we
hold our finger high for all to see
special for the paparazzi?
Would it be scarey for me?
Well, I'm not so easily scared you see.
It wouldn't have to be
just pain and misery
but nothing ever comes for free
Though pain isn't all bad.
If all we ever were was glad,
Life would be pretty bland
and easily taken for granted
If only you would take my hand
I'd be strong and understand
that sometimes this strife
is just another part of life.

--------------------------------------------------------

May 2003

To try to describe
What I'm feeling inside
is like describing a sunset
to one who's never had sight
or to someone in Africa
describing winters frostbite
the succulent flavour of mango
perfect melody or sweet smelling rose
It envelopes my whole body
souls of feet to tip of nose.

Inconcievable and indescribable
Understandable?...no, but inevitable
What can come next? What now?
Can we know the future somehow?
All I ever see is the unknown
We need to hold tenderly the past
to see how much we've grown
Anxiously anticipating what is to come...(and how)WOW!
While lovingly embracing every moment that is now
So all these emotions, is that what is real?
Is it better to think,
Or better to feel?

----------------------------------------------------------

January 10 2005

For my friend Kiz



Feeling a lack of affection one day
I sought out for some attention
acting goofy and wanting to play
but no one responded, no mention..

of joy or emotion
I felt alone
I shrugged it off
said I guess no ones home.

Im talking to myself again..

Never!
was her reply
one moment
one word
and that was the start
I let out a comforting sigh
a friend never to part.

to my special twin

here is my attempt

Your friend Angel

--------------------------------------------------------

January 11, 2005

Stay with me tonight
I need your arms wrapped around me tight,
tender kisses until morning light
I cannot bear to let you go.
My love, I never knew how much a soul could yearn
for another. please come lay with me, feel the burning
of my heart beating only for you, turn
around and let me love you so.
Tonight let us unleash our passion inside
Like a tiger pent up in a cage let it go
nothing exists but you and I
the scent of our love will blossom like a rose.
Your eyes tell me all I need to know
step closer to me now just let it flow
our fingertips lightly touch and ohhhh
oh so much more could be said..

Don't go, not tonight my sweetness,

----------------------------------------------------------


January 11 2005

Sparrows song

sitting quiet amung the brush
a tiny solitary bird
watching fast fluttering feet flow quickly by

silently still she looks toward heaven
safely hidden from harms hands
softly starts to sing a sparrows lulluby

The Angels gather quickly round
perched on their fluffy whispered winds
nodding off to sleep I thought I heard one sigh

A broken wing is what she noticed
grounded from her fairy flight
Angel swooped up the sparrow gently in one try

with one wishful caring kiss
she set the sparrow soaring
a loving touch, a healing hand, a mended wing, I softly cried

the sparrows song was but a prayer
answered as swiftly through the air
as the sparrow who, with the angels, flew so high


Spring

The earths Dawn
A new beginning
Starting fresh
Rebirth and growing
Fairy tale land
everywhere you see
This is springtime
for you and me

Springs VICTORY (and MJ's)

I can feel spring breathing
upon winters back
Anxious to wipe away
frost laden tracks

shivering air's been here
much much too long
Time for the blossoming
of springs fairy song.

Dirty snow's covered
and distorted the earth
Warmth is on his way
to uncover truths birth

Make way for the Spring
will finally arrive
greenery flourishing
veracity will thrive!

Fairwell to you
Mr twisted Jack Frost
against purities wand
you will surely have lost.

I was feeling today like Spring is coming, so on one level this is about Spring coming, on the deeper level........ this is about January 31st. and how Michael Jackson is itching to tell his side, and WILL HAVE VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!

January 28 2005

scaredy cat (just playing with an idea)

Scaredy Cat

You sit there
behind a screen
watching the world
through anyone elses eyes
anyones will do
as long as they aren't your own

What are you scared of?
Living?
take a step outside your dreamworld
Live it
Scared someone will add their own flavour to your fantasyland?
change it too much for your comfort?

So what if it doesn't work out
will you be satisfied to live forever vicariously through the lives of others?
Will you?
What if your plans don't all come to pass?
I know they work perfectly in the dreams
but would it be so bad to take a chance on something real?

Scary stuff.....reality.
Is it really where you want to be?

No, I'm quite content to live inside my head
or in the clouds
where I can control all.
It's a little cold and surreal
but I've become accustomed to it.

Content to be alone?

Who's alone? not I, surely not I...
Look at all the people I have on my contact list! lol
my fingers are stiffening from the cold..

wouldn't it be nicer to have someone holding them
keeping them warm in their own?

yes it would, but the hurt that would come later is just too much..
Im not sure I will trade warmth for uncertainty.

So you won't trust those hands?

if they were only hands, I might be able to..
like the hands typing back to me.
.....just hands

It's safe here

yes

content?

...no

Well that's a start

STAR GAZING Feb 7 2005

shine on oh precious stars

twinkling in morse code

busily spinning destiny's yarn,

two hearts sing out across the sky

meld to perfect harmony

longing to unite their song

magnetic force so strong

two lovers bound to be

not yet met, though belong

kept distant through their own device of

what if's..

in unison the hearts shout out

towards the constellations

Make clear your message

paint our picture on your blackened canvas

so that we may get it right

eons have past since last we read you

we know not the language that you speak.

two hearts beating for each other

if only they would stop searching the skies

and look to each other.





No goodbyes Jan 27



Do you even think about me anymore?
What was it that made you leave?
Most days I leave you out of my mind
It hurts too much to grieve

If I had only known
it would be our last goodbye
I never would have let you go
there would be no tears to cry

To have you vanish from my life
is not something Id foreseen
the emptiness you've left here
will not be filled again.

This part I've set aside for you
your home though you've gone away
I promise to keep it always
for your safe return someday

To think about your absence
brings lonely tears into my eyes
time spent together was heaven
which leaves me questioning why?

I don't know how to end these words
you were my first real best friend
I know the poem will be over soon
But the friendship should have had no end.

Come back please..



----------------------------------


I'm getting rid of the internet



It's time for me to say goodbye,
Some may cheer, some may cry
maybe none will get upset
Im getting rid of the internet.

I've been a little part of all
rocked the boat and had a ball
made some friends I haven't met
Im getting rid of the internet.

Kicked some haters out the door
bashed and battered on the floor
kicked and kicked and kicked some more
(it became my daily chore)
but nevermore

the haters couldn't make me go
it was best friends who made it so
left me in my time of needing
couldn't keep my heart from bleeding
I can't tell now what is real
and I've tried to stop from feeling
maybe they didnt mean to hurt me though
it always comes back to "I'll never know"

There was so much I tried to do
loved so deeply, hurt some too
I tried to do what was right
even if it meant a fight

if I leave without a trace
there's always someone to take my place
so dont get upset or feel blue
soon I'll be forgotten by you

You may think you know me
but even with all I've shared
there is so much I havent told you
and so much I've had to bear


So maybe what it really comes down to is this

YOU'll never know...


P.S.

The ones who really love me
know just where to find me

if you care, give me a shout
I'll always somehow be about

If by chance you come back home
with open arms I'll greet you
and we'll never be alone
part of me will always need you.
What does the future hold?
I found this in an old notebook of mine and thought I could share it with you all. I think I wrote it a little less than 2 years ago.




-----------------------------------------------------------------


What does the future hold?

God help me please.
I feel so blank
I feel there is nothing I can do.
I can't continue this way. I have to change something. What is the point of anything? Why are we? in existance.
Sometimes it seems there is no reason for anything at all....

Then I look up and in the distance, I see every shade of green on a hillside. So much beauty He has given us. I am reminded that He does love us. He has given us so much to show that He does care, Each creation He held, He placed out for His children. There can be so much joy. There can be happiness. There can be a reason for all of this.

As individuals, there is nothingness. In solitude, there is question upon question with no answer. What is it that makes this life special? Nothing if I am alone, Nothing if I don't reach out to another. Nothing if I affect no one in this life. What makes this life special, is others.

With each kiss, there is a breath of life. With each touch, there is a magic that brings meaning to this life. With each loving glance there brings with it a joy that fills our hears and spills out to fill every crack and turns stark stretches of barren land into lush sensuous gardens. Here is where we will rediscover our Eden. Here is where we will no longer look for happiness and meaning, because it will be everywhere we look. It will be coursing through our blood. There will be no reason ever to search again.

But what if that kiss we give gets forgotten? What if that touch is not wanted? What if that loving glance is scorned? ......
The garden shrivels up under the scorching heat and the land turns barren once again.

I don't want to live under the fear of "what if". I want to love. I want that pure, real, magical, unselfish, freely giving and happily, thankfully recieving love. I want that predestined, from the heavens, true true true love. No fear love, childlike love, unconditional love. The One love...


Wow Ape...how breathtaking beautiful~~~
 
Hi!, Sorry I didn't reply. I don't think I saw your reply Sdeidjs, Thank you! I wish I didn't lose all my other poems when that website went down years ago. It's kind of funny to read them again now. Some are not so bad really. Maybe I should add the other ones Ive posted in the poetry thread into here so they are altogether.
 
Thank you! :D To confess...I really don't know what I am doing. Some of them may seem like I do, but I don't...lol. Even after I took a poetry class, it seems I know even less. Still sometimes it is nice to do. Relaxing.
 
no need for me to share these with anyone.
 
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reallly no need to share this with the world.
 
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Hi!, Sorry I didn't reply. I don't think I saw your reply Sdeidjs, Thank you! I wish I didn't lose all my other poems when that website went down years ago. It's kind of funny to read them again now. Some are not so bad really. Maybe I should add the other ones Ive posted in the poetry thread into here so they are altogether.

Awwee...your very welcome...please do add more of them...

As Always

:angel:
 
These poems??? Are these what you are talking about? You know, it would do well to just ask me about something instead of assuming you know what the meaning is or what I was thinking or what it means today. Maybe it would also help if you actually tell me, and told me how you felt in clear words instead of a bunch of vagueness. You can't expect me to read your mind, especially on this stupid contraption. If you love someone, don't make them guess what they mean to you. Don't make them wait 6 or 7 years.. Any SANE person would have just gone on with their lives by now...and I tried to do that. I tried.... I did.... and it was a mistake...but PLEASE please don't let me waiting be a mistake either.

Although I have never met you in person, I see a very kind, smart,loving human being.

Always remember, "One can never give something to someone if they do not want it..! Therefore, if that person you speak of cannot man up...then they are NOT worthy of all the beauty you possess..!

As Always

:angel:
 
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