My_HeartBreaker
Proud Member
I'm depressed. Literally depressed. I'm stuck in shock and I'm finding it hard to cope. I don' feel suicidal, but there isn' a moment when Im not thinking and wishing of Michael. I have never experienced death before.
I can't eat properly, sleep, having IBS issues I just cant feel happy....I wear a support button and a white glove everywhere. Yeserday I held my MJ doll and just cried into it's hair. I'm obbessing about it and I can't focus. I wake up and the first thing I remember is "Michael's gone..." yesterday, I cried harder than I ever had in my life. I was driving and I had to pull over and I pounded my steering wheel and screamed out his name over and over.
I feel numb, and in so much pain. I keep thinking of his children.
And I think of horrible questions like, when he realized he was gone, did he feel regret? Can the passing feel regret? Did he realize he had left his kids alone?
:no: I'm sorry for being so morbid. It's all these things that I just cant stop feeling. All this hurt and pain....
I can't eat properly, sleep, having IBS issues I just cant feel happy....I wear a support button and a white glove everywhere. Yeserday I held my MJ doll and just cried into it's hair. I'm obbessing about it and I can't focus. I wake up and the first thing I remember is "Michael's gone..." yesterday, I cried harder than I ever had in my life. I was driving and I had to pull over and I pounded my steering wheel and screamed out his name over and over.
I feel numb, and in so much pain. I keep thinking of his children.
And I think of horrible questions like, when he realized he was gone, did he feel regret? Can the passing feel regret? Did he realize he had left his kids alone?
:no: I'm sorry for being so morbid. It's all these things that I just cant stop feeling. All this hurt and pain....