so angry

I am so angry and sick today after hearing the news about that doctor...I guess on some unconscience level I had accepted Michaels death, I believed that maybe he was in so much pain that he needed those prescription drugs and that that is what had stopped his heart...and maybe he was at peace and it kind of made sense....but after reading todays news I am so frightened and sick and so damn angry!!!!!

I am sick to think Michael went to sleep believing he was being monitored through the night, that he was safe, that it was OK. I now see that he didn't use that drug because he was weak, or frail, or an addict or to get high, he did it IMO simply to get the best possible sleep so he could give the best performance of his life. To be able to work hard like a perfectionist during the day and make the best possible success of the show. He wasnt using that drug unmonitored. He took precaution, he tried to be as safe as possible.

I am so angry to think the greatest entertainer in the world was being monitored by some hack doctor...He was a nobody doctor, the best heart doctors in the world are from Boston or NY not Texas!!!...where did they find this idiot...he was supposed to be watching Michael..My God I am so sick and angry!

I realize all the facts are not in so I will give it a rest...but it is just so hard, like its happening all over again.

I feel your pain....try and keep it together.

Nothing can hold down truth. We're all in for a wild ride for the next who knows how long. I just hope that at the end of the day justice is served and that this "doctor" and all the others involved are stopped from doing this ever again.

Stay strong.

A_Powerful_Mind said:

I feel your pain....try and keep it together.

Nothing can hold down truth. We're all in for a wild ride for the next who knows how long. I just hope that at the end of the day justice is served and that this "doctor" and all the others involved are stopped from doing this ever again.

Stay strong.

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thank you for your response...and you are right this is going to be for a bumby ride...but I thought I had put it all behind me, now I see it is just beginning. Michael didnt want to die, he wasnt in pain like the media said..He just wanted some rest. I dont want to see another person suffer, like that doctor, so seeing him punished will not make me feel any better...and I am so afraid of what he will say in order to defend himself. I am still so angry this happened. Sometimes I have to admit I get so mad at Michael, he should have had better medical care, better equipment and not given that hack doctor such power over his life and the lives of his family. Maybe he wasnt thinking clearly, maybe he really trusted that doc. who knows? It is just harder now thinking he died a happy healthy man rather than some unhappy drug seeking person that the press was saying. I am just so sick overthis now, I thought it was over.

I know how you feel. I think it is a long way from over but I think we need to stay strong and just keep praying for the real truth to come out for Michael's sake. I'm not holding my breath it will but we need to hope for it at least.

NYC_Chris said:

I realize all the facts are not in so I will give it a rest...but it is just so hard, like its happening all over again.

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That feeling I have it all the same way!!
I couldn't listen to any Michael's music yesterday, or watch him. I felt my throad going all numb and sore :-(
It's one thing trying to accept he is not here with us anymore and another accepting that he could have been murdered when he wanted to go on!!
God.. I can't go on :-(!!!!!

Limonali said:

That feeling I have it all the same way!!
I couldn't listen to any Michael's music yesterday, or watch him. I felt my throad going all numb and sore :-(
It's one thing trying to accept he is not here with us anymore and another accepting that he could have been murdered when he wanted to go on!!
God.. I can't go on :-(!!!!!

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Yes you can go on, we need to seek the truth out for Michael. We need to give to charities and help others like he wanted. Please don't do anything hasty. If you are tempted please call the Samaritans, you can email them too. Michael would want you to stay Also life is too intriguing to go, yes dreadful things happen but so do great things too! A GREAT BIG HUG for you! x

Limonali said:

That feeling I have it all the same way!!
I couldn't listen to any Michael's music yesterday, or watch him. I felt my throad going all numb and sore :-(
It's one thing trying to accept he is not here with us anymore and another accepting that he could have been murdered when he wanted to go on!!
God.. I can't go on :-(!!!!!

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yes that is how I feel now, like he wanted to go on... before I believed the media saying he was in so much pain, but now I dont think that was true. I dont know what is better to believe, It was easier the first way.

Thank you all for your thoughtful responses, I wasnt sure how others would feel and I didnt want to stir up emotions...but it is comforting to know that some of you are feeling what I am feeling.

I know anger is one of the stages of loss, but I am just suprised at how much it hurts, as if I knew him and it is happening just now....So strange but I know that there is no rule book on grief, it is different for everyone, there is no right or wrong and not everything makes sense...i just hope it passes sooner than later...I hope for all of you as well.

I'm feeling it too. I'm between broody and angry right now. I don't really know how to handle this feeling, so I'm trying to distract myself through work etc. also, listening to his music helps. and for the first time in my life I've become a youtube junky. I never used to watch YT so much before. believe me, it helps to hear his voice.

listen to this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXOcqfX1qXg&feature=PlayList&p=CF137442BE861FE0&index=11

and this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DExMNdStZU&NR=1


hang tight!

thanks everyone for your support...i still feel angry and confused...The latest reports say he was an addict but even so...I know many addicts and that doesnt mean they want to die...He may only been addicted to this drug to get sleep, doesnt mean he was a druggie that was always looking to get high....In some ways I hope this isnt a murder case because then maybe all this personal info about him won't be all over teh news and maybe his autopsy report should be kept private...I dont understand how the world has the right to know about his autopsy, only unless it is a murder case...

Also I am afraid of that hack coroner's office...They already let too many people see the death certifiacte...what about the pictures that are taken during the autopsy who has them?, How do we know if they are in safe hands and will never be leaked to the public.

Answering this old post because I too wonder about something. "where did they find this idiot"

Why this man when there were others far more qualified? In the past 2 years there have been much discussion over whether this doctor or that doctor who had attended to Michael in the past would have gone with him for 8 months. Someone was willing to pay this "nobody" $150,000 a month, that's 1.2 million for their time and expertise. I doubt any where pulling in that kind of money annually, most had partners who could have stepped in during their absence and Klein could have been had for less and he was familiar with MJ's medical history. He obviously was also living off Michael, this is shown by the speed in which he had to file for bankruptcy after Michael's death when the money stopped coming in. Regardless to our thoughts about Klein he was considered a A-list doctor, meaning he was one the people in the entertainments would have recommended.

So why this man who was not familiar with propofol, did not really know MJ's medical history, did not know how MJ interacted with the anesthesia as did his other doctors and was to be paid a sum of money that most physicians find suspect?

By claiming Michael wanted this man above any other qualified and knowledgeable doctor it allows questions not to be asked. Why this man, who actually hired him and why that amount?

We will never get to the truth until the right questions are asked and answered.

Point is a lot of people wanted things wrapped up in a haste. This sense to get it over with bothers me a lot. Questions have been there since day one but nobody seems to bother to provide the answers.

Maria MJ said:

Point is a lot of people wanted things wrapped up in a haste. This sense to get it over with bothers me a lot. Questions have been there since day one but nobody seems to bother to provide the answers.

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I agree. It always seems like some people just want to have the last word without any real proof and say like "Michael was to blame for this and that. End of story." Why is it that everyone around Michael gets treated like they're so perfect while he himself gets villified, both in his life and after his death? And any wrong that they are found to have done gets swept under the rug with no questions asked, such as stealing from Michael, breaking laws regarding professionalism by talking about his medical issues to the media, being found on tape planning to extort money from him, Making crazy claims in order to explain away glaring inconsistencies in accusations made against him, and finally, having a lapse in ethical judgement, showing a tragic failure to meet the utmost principals for the standard of proper medical care and then blaming Michael for everything after he dies. However, the list goes on and on. And nobody with the least amount of good sense is supposed to see anything wrong with all of that? I don't believe it. In my opinion, alot of people did Michael really dirty and got/get away with it by crying the blues with crocodile tears to the media. I believe the average Joe would get thrown in jail for alot of the things these people did to Michael. So why are there people out there (besides MJ fans), making excuses for them? This is all just my opinion. I'm sorry about going on a rant. But these are things that really make me mad.