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J5master

  1. Part 2: Adult Lessons from Michael Jackson

    After June 25[SUP]th[/SUP] when I removed myself from all things MJ and the fandom, I saw tasks as tasks, days as days, and nights as nights. The richness of creativity and inspiration – although I cannot deny - it was THERE, and I DID experience it without MJ in my life, but it was dulled somehow. My internal self was really just going through the motions and we became separated in a way.

    On the tennis court today when I decided to suspend not only my belief in any USEFULNESS of bringing ...
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  2. Adult Lessons from Michael Jackson (and how he improved my tennis game!)

    Im back again spamming the blog section! lol

    As some backstory, I used to play tennis all the time since I was about 10 years old. I never really “liked” it, as it wasn’t really a passion of mine. It was good enough as a form of exercise, but I always found myself getting bored at practice unless I was playing a game against someone. My parents and coach pushed me to keep with it until adult hood. After college, I naturally stopped playing as often. But this summer, I’ve managed to ...
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  3. Being on Team Michael: Part 3

    Finally I read Cascio’s book – and with all the controversy surrounding Cascio – just like the rest, his very detailed portrayal of his time with MJ had aligned with common threads I’ve seen throughout all of them. And after reading his book, it brought one of those threads home really well: MJ’s life and death was COMPLICATED. There was no solution to this puzzle I was desperately searching for. The more I took all these accounts in, the more layers were added to my, at first, simple interpretation ...

    Updated 03-09-2014 at 02:19 PM by J5master

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  4. Being on Team Michael: Part 2

    After MJ’s passing, it was easy to go right into tragedy-mode. As with any one who dies so unexpectantly, just like when one loses a big championship game – everyone goes over all the things that could have gone on differently. What had we missed? What could have been done? What were our (his) mistakes? How could this happen?

    For those who have read previous blogs of mine on here, you would know that I personally did not participate in such post-game analysis. In fact, I had checked ...

    Updated 03-09-2014 at 01:46 PM by J5master

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  5. What it really means to be on TEAM MICHAEL: Part 1

    After much reflection recently, I’ve realized being a MJ fan or on “Team Michael” is a lot like rooting for your favorite sports team or player. I recently saw a segment on TV about how the brain tricks you into getting a ‘payoff’ when YOUR team wins, or in other words you get a dose of dopamine. That’s why people are so hyped up and pumped about their teams. And I notice even when the team loses ALL the time, fans of that team still get pumped up about the next game. There’s something instinctual ...
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  6. Regressing...back to Neverland

    So remember that long 3 part essay I did when i first came here?

    Well after feeling very good after I wrote that, I woke up this morning (several weeks later) with this looming sadness. I had a...I guess I would categorize it as horrible?...dream. It was very vivid and it was about reliving through Michael's death. I heard on the news that MJ was hospitalized, and just like on June 25th, they kept saying they were trying to revive him. But that day, it turned out they succeeded. He ...
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  7. Joy in the Sorrow: What it means to Xscape Part 3

    Continuation from part 2 of this super long essay lol....

    GOTTA MAKE A CHANGE

    So during those two weeks of playing the album on repeat every second of the day (lol), I quit my job, without a problem. Again, the decision wasn't really related at all to MJ - there were a lot of issues going on and I needed to leave, but in hindsight I think its a funny coincidence that I decided to do so while I truly rediscovered MJ's music. And as recently as some weeks ago (I think ...

    Updated 08-07-2014 at 08:45 PM by J5master

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  8. Joy in the Sorrow: What it means to Xscape Part 2

    Continuation from Part 1 of this super long essay lol....

    LEAVING NEVERLAND

    I grew up. I did so not realizing it had anything to do with Michael at all. I just assumed...I was just facing reality.

    But really waaaaay in the back of my mind I was thinking 'whats the point in striving to be good and honest when someone like MJ can end up the way he did?" And it didn't matter what you believe, whether you think he was a hopped up on drugs for the majority ...
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  9. Joy in the Sorrow: What it means to Xscape Part 1

    So just recently, I came to somewhat of an epiphany (a good one!). For context, I'd like to share my journey over the last 5 years, because I haven't been able to vent to anyone about it. Like, ever. I just need to get this out, so forgive me. This is just a brain dump of epic proportions.

    STARTIN SOMETHIN SERIOUS!

    For those who don't know me, Michael Jackson was my idol ever since I was 9...which was like, late 90s. lol I didn't get to experience a lot of him at ...

    Updated 08-07-2014 at 08:44 PM by J5master

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