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Being one of many, many extras for "Hold My Hand"

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Sometimes you just feel like life is a story. Or you suddenly find yourself being in a story that you want to retell.

"Hold My Hand" is such a story. What are the odds of the first single of a posthumous album to carry such a message? And what are the odds that is would be fans who would be the extras in that first single?

I remember coming to MJJC last Wednesday, checking. And then I saw that thread. "Do you want to be in the video". I read it and although all my instincts said, naaaah, you will never get there- I popped off an email, never expecting even an answer, even wondering if that email address was legit. I then decided for something like a leap of faith.

On Friday evening, after 8PM I looked at my blackberry that "pinged", indicating a message. I was in the middle of cooking dinner for my family, with a hungry child literally hanging off my legs of my jeans.

I read the words "Congratulations". And that is when my red beans and rice turned into black beans on my stove. Guess what was blasting through my kitchen as I stood there, thinking the kitchen is spinning around me just a little bit faster? HOLD MY HAND.
Earlier that day "Have a little faith" played. I spun out into my imaginary world- of being there.

I said, yes, Michael, I will have a little bit of faith.

On Sunday I was on my way to Burbank. The plane was already on the field, while I was singing in my hand, Hold My Hand, things will get better if you just hold my hand.

And- suddenly we are turning around. There's that Indiana Jones feel again- we are turning around. If you know "The last Crusade" you also know that the movie featured a blimp turning around- and Hold My Hand was shot with a blimp hangar present. Anybody else think Michael would like the Indiana Jones style??

The plane had an issue- the Captain decided that a late plane is worth more than a crashing plane with dead people. We rolled back to the gate and waited for Southwest to find another plane (in the middle of nowhere...on a Sunday)
Finally I was on my way. I was the only person on that entire plane that was NOT late for her connection. I remember the sounds that came through the speakers: Ontario, you are rebooked for later, San Jose, you are rebooked for later. BURBANK- YOU ARE ON TIME. I don't know how that happened, it made me grin a wide smile. I ran like a maniac through Phoenix, Arizona.

I got to Burbank, just as the sun went down over California in a beautiful sunset.

Woke up the day of the shoot to a fake message telling us that the shoot was cancelled. I decided, well, time for another 'leap'.

It just didn't ring true- and besides, my arms were already falling off from that damn curling iron, trying to reach the back of my head. Might as well finish the job.

Why is it that roads related to Michael Jackson don't show up on the GPS???
But I found it- and it became very real, when security outside the area indicated, yes, drive through the entrance and then follow instructions.

We signed our life away on numerous sheets of paper and I personally respected the rule of no photography of the set or the shooting. I've been a good girl overall and nobody seemed to mind the extras photographing one another as long as we kept it to that- but being a parent myself I can't post pics of other people's children on an internet forum without their consent.

People danced, people laughed and some of us tried not to cry when one scene got emotional. The music had stopped but our scene was still going. We kept going and going, clapping in silence to an invisible song, to the song inside of us. Some of us looked at each other, hap hazardly joking, oh, please, don't let me be the one 'hysterical' fan that confuses this with Forest Lawn.
But if you were there, you felt it.

We shot the last scene, just before the sun went down, surrounded by rolling hills. A beautiful day in November in California. And it all made sense. We lined up for one last shot of this, joking with each other, outdoing each other in weird little MJ jokes that only fans understand. You know, when one "rabid MJ fan" just says one line, and everyone knows what is meant. It was that feeling.
Random strangers parted hugging each other and giving each other rides back downtown.

And we all looked at each other and saying, I can't believe this, I can't believe I am here doing this.
Sometimes I shake my head- I remember how the wall came down, I was there, just a little girl and now I somehow live in the US. I discovered MJ in is next to impossible to describe how much this meant to me and to those of us who cherished that day. Never in the world did I think in 1992 of this. I literally lived under the proverbial rock- I had never heard of the "Jackson 5", I had never heard of "A,B,C", I had no clue who this guy was. All I remember was seeing him on TV, you could have cut my arm off, I would have said, here, have the other one, just please let me watch this. I couldn't have known less off him back then, yet he felt extremely familiar.

So my only visual contribution for the moment is the butterfly I chose to wear that day. (no pic from the set...)

I actually had 2 butterflies, one that I attached to my bag- and the one that I wore. I also had 2 pairs of these little ballet shoes. I figured he'd like the golden ones. :cheeky:
[IMG][/IMG] (yeah, I am not only "rabid" and "die hard", I am also a FREAK, TMZ! :wild

The next day I went to Forest Lawn and brought Michael one of the butterflies and one pair of the mini ballet shoes from the shoot. He may not be with us physically, but I thought I'll bring a piece of HOLD MY HAND to him.

This one's for you, Maestro.


I attached some of the items from the shoot to the flowers I got for my visit.




And I know he enjoyed us living love, not fear. And I'm sure the control freak in him did his best to whisper to the director.

I didn't actually mean to share all of this, but hey, why not. I see so much fear and hatred, I'd like to contribute with some good ol' fashioned "rabid, die-hard" L.O.V.E. in all it's cheesy, make-your-toes-curl-up-from-high-blood-sugar-sweetness and glory- until the love goo seeps from your ear canal.

It was a glorious day and "we gotta remind people that love is important."

We were a large crowd, but there was something different about that. People were kind to one another.
People whom I have never met wrote me an email telling me where to find x,y and z. I wrote someone else who had her map stuck in her printer, trying to find out where to go.

People helped one another, when people manage to approach one another without fear, without this constant mistrust.

We were a big group and I remember how we just admired each others tattoos, clothes and just swapped stories on how we got there.
All of us have a story- that was so notable. I spoke to one fan with claustrophobia and fear of flying- the love for Michael made that fan overcome the fear to be able to take part in that shoot. THAT is what Michael stands for.

All of us had a story of why we were there. TMZ said we were "die hard" fans, nope, we are love-hard fans. We were older, younger, skinnier, fatter, taller, shorter, male and female, kids. We were of all colors and all races. We were- we were exactly what Michael stands for.

I thank the crew for being kind and friendly, I know the director turned this into a beautiful celebration. I can't wait to see the end result. Thank you, Mr. Pellington, thank you.


And thank you Gaz, for posting this here. I would have never found that on the

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  1. Lucilla's Avatar
    wow, is all I have to say
  2. Pace,MioDolceCuore's Avatar
    :wild:, was my reaction when I got the first news.
  3. xthunderx2's Avatar
    Thank you o much for sharing your experience in such detail...thank you for bringing the shoes and butterfly to Forest Lawn...Michael definitely knew you were there ..He had to of. .:hug: