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My Letter To Michael

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Michael, my Michael,

Ever since I was 10 years old, I fell in love with your voice on the radio. I wasn't old enough to buy your albums, but never changed the radio station when I heard your voice.

When I was in 7th grade in 1982, Thriller was the album that everyone was talking about. I didn't buy it right away, but did buy it eventually.

In 1984, you came to Detroit with your brothers for the Victory Tour. I was fortunate enough to go. After seeing you live in concert, my feelings of admiration grew. It was at this time that my friends had abandoned you. Thriller was over and they had moved on. But I stood by you 100%.

In 1987, Bad was the CD that was released. At this time, I was the only one that I knew that bought your CD. I remember even calling the radio stations to request your songs. Even though I requested a song that was released, the DJ asked me what my favorite song was on the CD. I immediately told him Man In The Mirror and he agreed.

1987 was also the year that Richard Marx was new to the radio. I was a senior in high school at the time and have to admit that even though I never stopped listening to your music, I did sort of not announce it to everyone as I had done in the past.

In 1988, you toured for your BAD CD. I went to the concert not caring that no one I knew listened to you any more. I went and I was glad that I did.
It was also around this time that I became a member of The World Of Michael Jackson fan club. I knew that those letters that I received in the mail were generic letters, but I didn't care, I looked forward to those letters that I received four times a year, just the same. For some reason or another, The World Of Michael Jackson fan club became The Michael Jackson International Fan Club. I didn't care, I was just happy to be a part of your fan club. I still have everything from those fan clubs. Just yesterday I wore my sweatshirt that said The World Of Michael Jackson on it.

Over the years, I continued to purchase your CD's. In 2001, when Invincible was released, it was also the year that my son was born. I listened to it as much as I could in the beginning, but didn't listen to it as much as I wanted to. I had a baby to take care of and that was my priority. I feel really guilty for not being there for you as much as I had in the past.

I couldn't believe how everyone's feeling for you were changing. Everyone that had praised you in the past were now saying such terrible things about you. I remember hearing some jerk on the tv make some derogatory comment about Invincible, and I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I didn't believe a word of it, and continued to support you.

As the years went on, there were all sorts of horrible things that people were accusing you of. I was busy with my family and never paid much attention to what was being said because I knew that none of it was true.

When the announcement came that you would be touring in London, I was happy for your London fans. I was unhappy that I wouldn't get the chance to see you, but still happy for them.

June 25, 2009 I was down in Orlando, Florida, at Walt Disney World with my family. On that day, I had turned on my phone to access my Facebook account, just like I always do. But this day was different. I noticed that it had said that Michael Jackson Dies. I was in total shock. At first I thought that it was a cruel joke. I couldn't believe it. I never told any of my family for fear of ruining their vacation, so I kept it to myself for the whole day, but inside I was dieing. It was also on this day that I learnt that Farrah Fawcett had also passed away. I didn't tell my mother about that either for fear of ruining her vacation. My mom is around Farrah's age. Later on in the week, my family starting hearing about your death. My husband was a true blessing. He let me watch the news and buy newspapers so that I could stay current with what was going on. I felt so guilty for emotionally abandoning my family. I was supposed to be enjoying my vacation, but I just couldn't. And the reason why I didn't tell anyone in the beginning was because I knew that once I started focusing on you, I could no longer focus on them. To my mom, dad, and husband, you were just an entertainer, but to me, you were everything!

After I came home from vacation, I joined a Michael Jackson fan forum, and I have to tell you that without the love and support that I had received, I would've needed to have been locked up in a looney bin. I was so thankful for having some place to go and share my feelings with.

I don't understand why I miss you so much. I don't see you any less than I did before you died. I watched you on tv or on YouTube, or listened to you on the radio or on my CD's. And now that you're gone, I still do those same exact things, so why is now any different? Why can't I seem to get over this.

I miss you and love you like crazy.

And someday when I die, I hope that God will give me the chance to meet you in Heaven. Because if you're not there, it won't be Heaven to me.

I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!

Yours Forever,

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Updated 22-04-2011 at 10:07 PM by mjfanforever777

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  1. Billie_Jean09's Avatar
    Dear Beth.
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings about Michael. You are definately not alone, when you say that you miss him so much, but cannot fathom why as you dont see him any less that you did before. But just knowing that he is no longer with us is so very difficult to comprehend and accept. I feel this pain of his loss too, very much so. Much love to you, and thanks again for