Met a very nice lady today....

[Staffordshire Bullterrier]

Currently i'm participating in a job-interview training. I've been unemployed for quite awhile now and since day one i've requested any kind of help with finding a new job or special trainings. So now finally recently i got that training.

You basically get...training for writing a nice looking resume, a letter that you send to the company and the job interview itself, but then in training form. Anyway, Two weeks ago or so i already saw this lady, and i instantly liked her. (that's my problem..when i see a nice lady.....i already get those 'in love' feelings, however at that time it wasn't the case yet) the next training she wasn't there, she was sick. But today she was present again.

During this training you get to talk alot about yourself and your past in terms of work and things like that. I got the impression that she was a very nice and friendly down to earth lady, because i also worked with her with the 'job interview' simulation. At the end of the training when i was heading home again, i did just that. Alittle later on she passed me by on her bike and greeted me and waved too.

But now that i think about it, i should have simply said something to her and maybe started a conversation. Yeah i would really like to get to know her better, maybe ask her out, if she's already seeing someone, i will know and that's fine...but at least i will have tried it.

Am i the only one here who truly sucks at this? Or let's just say..who thinks sucks at this (while this in fact doesn't have to be the case). I've been single for a loooooooong time now, still haven't given the dating sites a shot and the women i spoke to and eventually asked out, unfortunetely were already seeing someone. Furthermore...i don't go out to clubs or anything similar, simply not my thing. My plan is to talk to her alittle more next time, probably something like 'How did it go last week, when you were the one looking for a job in the job-interview training simulation?', next monday is the training again but i can't be there. Next thursday another training and i'll probably see her there and i'm gonna try to spark up a conversation afterwards.

But this is me...always thinking about 'shit...i should've said something or done this...' not only in this case, many other cases. I truly believe that things like these are the most hard things to do in life, of course not for everybody but for me it definitely is. I'm a shy guy...and sometimes i wish i wasn't. I got back home and said to my dog for fun 'Gee...sometimes i wish i could be like you Yoshi. It's all so simple then' hahah.

Anyone who can identify a bit with this?

 

[ginvid]

There's always tomorrow, right?

 

[MJ~And~Me]

next time you see her just go for it hope it works out for you:yes:

 

[Staffordshire Bullterrier]

There's always tomorrow, right?

Haha true, but i don't get to see her tomorrow , but i know what you mean with that saying. I now regret not having spoken to her afterwards, but it is what it is. There's a chance i see her next week on thursday when the last training starts, unfortunetely this training part is already the second part, i missed the first one cause i was sick at home at the time. But she among the others have completed that first part. Long story short...there's a big chance that she and the others can leave the training early , cause they have completed it. And then i'll miss my chance to spark up a conversation with her.

I might try that during the break, but that's very short and i don't like other people being around, i like being alone with someone. I don;t know what it is with me but when i see a particular lady, i just know pretty soon that i really dig her. Even without really knowing her, but when someone starts to talk and explains a few things...it doesn't take long for me to 'know' that this person is really nice and genuine. I can't be leaving the training early only to talk to her, all of that will look weird. If i'm literally dying to ask her out...i can do so during the training at the break, but i'm not sure yet. If all else fails..i have just learned a lesson that next time i should not make that mistake again.

 

[blue_eyed_belle]

If she's a professional lady who's 'tutoring' part of your course, I personally think you've done the right thing by not approaching her and asking her out. I think you should just be friendly and stay professional yourself until the course is over, then maybe you could suggest swapping contact details (e-mail, mobile number) in case you 'need some advice in the future'?! If she's not comfortable with that then you could just leave it and move on. Don't tell yourself you suck at this - everyone's shy or insecure in their own way, and when it comes to asking people out no-one is 100% comfortable with going for it. Good luck hun xx

 

[Erandi]

Currently i'm participating in a job-interview training. I've been unemployed for quite awhile now and since day one i've requested any kind of help with finding a new job or special trainings. So now finally recently i got that training.

You basically get...training for writing a nice looking resume, a letter that you send to the company and the job interview itself, but then in training form. Anyway, Two weeks ago or so i already saw this lady, and i instantly liked her. (that's my problem..when i see a nice lady.....i already get those 'in love' feelings, however at that time it wasn't the case yet) the next training she wasn't there, she was sick. But today she was present again.

During this training you get to talk alot about yourself and your past in terms of work and things like that. I got the impression that she was a very nice and friendly down to earth lady, because i also worked with her with the 'job interview' simulation. At the end of the training when i was heading home again, i did just that. Alittle later on she passed me by on her bike and greeted me and waved too.

But now that i think about it, i should have simply said something to her and maybe started a conversation. Yeah i would really like to get to know her better, maybe ask her out, if she's already seeing someone, i will know and that's fine...but at least i will have tried it.

Am i the only one here who truly sucks at this? Or let's just say..who thinks sucks at this (while this in fact doesn't have to be the case). I've been single for a loooooooong time now, still haven't given the dating sites a shot and the women i spoke to and eventually asked out, unfortunetely were already seeing someone. Furthermore...i don't go out to clubs or anything similar, simply not my thing. My plan is to talk to her alittle more next time, probably something like 'How did it go last week, when you were the one looking for a job in the job-interview training simulation?', next monday is the training again but i can't be there. Next thursday another training and i'll probably see her there and i'm gonna try to spark up a conversation afterwards.

But this is me...always thinking about 'shit...i should've said something or done this...' not only in this case, many other cases. I truly believe that things like these are the most hard things to do in life, of course not for everybody but for me it definitely is. I'm a shy guy...and sometimes i wish i wasn't. I got back home and said to my dog for fun 'Gee...sometimes i wish i could be like you Yoshi. It's all so simple then' hahah.

Anyone who can identify a bit with this?

Hehe, you know what my personal philosophy is?! - Better to say what's on your mind and regret after (if it was wrong), than to regret not saying anything at all. You never know what answer you're gonna get, so the best thing is to try. Trust me (and trust yourself while trying), it works! And, if you receive a negative answer, no problem. You haven't lost anything...

 

[Staffordshire Bullterrier]

If she's a professional lady who's 'tutoring' part of your course, I personally think you've done the right thing by not approaching her and asking her out. I think you should just be friendly and stay professional yourself until the course is over, then maybe you could suggest swapping contact details (e-mail, mobile number) in case you 'need some advice in the future'?! If she's not comfortable with that then you could just leave it and move on. Don't tell yourself you suck at this - everyone's shy or insecure in their own way, and when it comes to asking people out no-one is 100% comfortable with going for it. Good luck hun xx

Tutor? You mean like she's the teacher of me and the others? Cause it's not like that at all, just like me she's unemployed and looking for work. And is participating in this training/course, she's no tutor

For some reason she keeps being stuck inside my head, i believe that means something...that i should at least try something before i can't. Cause after next week i might not see her again, so basically i should try to ask her for a drink or lunch in town the next time i see her. There's not much time anymore for chatting and such..so if i really want to get to know her and find out if that feeling is mutual, i should go for it. Even if it's in the middle of the training during the break..or whenever. Like Lilishor said...i'm not gonna lose anything, which is very true.

 

[Staffordshire Bullterrier]

Sometimes.....i just hate myself, cause i truly am a huge whuss, i'll try to explain it and keep it short.

Today was the last job-interview training, for the whole training today i practically sat next to her behind the computers, i could have said a few nice things but i didn't at all,because i'm a chicken. Eventually most of the people left and it was just me, her and the trainer. Again...i could and should have something to break the ice, a nice compliment or hell...even a joke, but nope.

When the training was nearing the end i sparked up a conversation to my trainer who sat next to me about recent things in the news and happenings, and the trainer and that girl both listened to what i had to say. Basically the ice was broken i guess, even if the conversation wasn't one on one. Right before the ending of the training, the trainer left the room for a minute or so and that was the moment i should have asked her that simple fucking question...but nope. I decided to wait till the training was completely over and so i could talk to her outside, which i really wanted to do now. But completely unexpectedly she grabbed her bike and went the opposite direction, unlike last time. And it's not like i'm gonna holler 'yooo wait up, i got something to ask' nah.

As messed up as i feel about this and hate this about myself, i don't think i should. Cause recently i checked the internet and i saw countless of sites where they give men (of any age) advice on how to ask a girl out...hell...even how to start a conversation with a girl, and i saw countless replies of people asking for help. So that makes me fee less bad about myself. My problem is...after my previous relationship died, so to speak....i didn't do much to find a new girl, except for maybe two or three tries, but never any real dating. I've been out of it for too long and i should begin with it again, that's for sure. I know for sure when i;ve had a bit more experience with women again, in the sense of just talking to them,getting to know them,just being around them more..that i can be myself more quickly and more comfortable. I lost that...i need to regain it .

 

[Hocus]

:bugeyed:bugeyed Oh nooooo! Now give yourself a kick! Just joking...

It's just the way you speak about women it's like we're from another planet or something...lol! There's a lot of nice girls out there. Just talk to them! About anything really...
Hey isn't there a way to find her phone number? Or perhaps her Hyves page or Facebook page? You could still ask her out! :yes:

But always trust in yourself, remember what Michael said :

No matter what, the most powerful thing in the world is the human mind and prayer, and belief in yourself and confidence and perseverance. No matter how many times you do it, you do it again until it's right. And always believe in yourself. And no matter who's around you that is being negative or thrusting negative energy at you, totally block it off. Because whatever you believe, you become.​

Good luck! :wink:​

 

[Victory2004]

I've never asked anybody out & am too shy to do so cus of fear of rejection. If it happens to me then it happens but if not then it doesn't. Besides I sometimes I feel like I wasn't meant for stuff like that like I couldn't maintain a relationship or keep impressing her day after day. Too much work. (atleast for me it is)

 

[Mechi]

Just go for what you feel is right for you.

If you do not have any relation to that lady, what is it really you have to lose if she should reject you. At the end of the day this is an only winning situation for you if you can encourage yourself to go for it.

 

[Staffordshire Bullterrier]

:bugeyed:bugeyed Oh nooooo! Now give yourself a kick! Just joking...

It's just the way you speak about women it's like we're from another planet or something...lol! There's a lot of nice girls out there. Just talk to them! About anything really...
Hey isn't there a way to find her phone number? Or perhaps her Hyves page or Facebook page? You could still ask her out! :yes:

But always trust in yourself, remember what Michael said :

No matter what, the most powerful thing in the world is the human mind and prayer, and belief in yourself and confidence and perseverance. No matter how many times you do it, you do it again until it's right. And always believe in yourself. And no matter who's around you that is being negative or thrusting negative energy at you, totally block it off. Because whatever you believe, you become.​

Good luck! :wink:​

Hahhaa, nah woman ain't from another planet. Something in me i guess, which i dont have control over yet, makes me scared of nervous to approach a woman and ask her out. But this ONLY happens when i truly dig a woman, when i'm just talking to a relative or just a female friend or stranger, it's absolutely no problem for me, hell...i even look them in the eyes constantly, no shyness ,no problems.

It's ALWAYS when i am really liking a particular woman that i get into these difficulties with myself. That i start to get nervous and get trouble sleeping, seriously...the night before my last training was gonna happen, i had a horrible time sleeping. And i hate this, a girl who i barely really know, and neither even know if she's already seeing someone,, and i get all worked up and losing sleep. I don't want any of that, but that's the thing i don't have under control...i dont understand it.

As for her phonenumber, well...i tried several things. Last monday there was a event about health and home-care, we both are interested in finding a job in there. I was going to the event, and thought it be good for her to go there too. So i emailed my trainer(tutor) and asked if she could send this information to her. My plan was to get her to that event so we could see eachother there and that way talk alittle and get to know eachother. But eventually she didn't go to the event.

After yesterday when i 'failed', lol...i sent my tutor anothr email and i explained her a few things, that i basically wanted to ask her out and if she could give me her email adress, not phonenumber cause i find that too private/personal. But she mailed me back saying she can't do that without her permission...which i can perfectly understand.

I've never asked anybody out & am too shy to do so cus of fear of rejection. If it happens to me then it happens but if not then it doesn't. Besides I sometimes I feel like I wasn't meant for stuff like that like I couldn't maintain a relationship or keep impressing her day after day. Too much work. (atleast for me it is)

It's not good to think like this, i really can see where you are coming from but you shouldn't say this. I know for sure there's someone who would love to meet you and apreciate you for who you are. I believe in...that it can happen 24/7...well..except of course when you are sleeping. But ....when you go outside in the morning to walk the dog in the park, or buy some food, anywhere...you can meet a nice lady and it can lead to anything. But there's also nothing wrong with trying out dating sites, i am seriously considering it and think pretty soon i'll do it.

I don't think any guy is capable of impressing a woman every day, neither should that be nessecary .

Just go for what you feel is right for you.

If you do not have any relation to that lady, what is it really you have to lose if she should reject you. At the end of the day this is an only winning situation for you if you can encourage yourself to go for it.

This is very true, i don't have any relation to her but unintentionally i get worked up over it, i don't want it, but it happens automatically, i could say to myself, dude don't worry..just go to sleep, but that wouldn't work.

You know..it's not only because of a woman i really like. When i still had a job, and i had off from work for three weeks...well, the night before i had to go back towork again, i had a horrible time sleeping, because something 'new' was gonna happen again. New in the sense of...that i had gotten used to living without any work for three weeks,doing what i wanted, and this was gonna change again. It's really not even nessecarily with a nice woman. I wish i could change this, ah well.

I am sure if i was to get a new job now or anything else that changes my regular daily life that i have gotten used to, i would sleep bad the first night.

 

[Misayko]

as a woman i can tell you its always nice to get that kind of compliment
even if shes not interested, she will appreciate it that you asked her out.
so do it the next time

 

[Victory2004]

Just go for what you feel is right for you.

If you do not have any relation to that lady, what is it really you have to lose if she should reject you. At the end of the day this is an only winning situation for you if you can encourage yourself to go for it.

Gonna have to respectfully disagree & what I have to lose is being rejected so not sure how that is a "winning situation". IMO not worth it.

 

[Victory2004]

It's not good to think like this, I really can see where you are coming from but you shouldn't say this. I know for sure there's someone who would love to meet you and appreciate you for who you are. I believe in...that it can happen 24/7...well..except of course when you are sleeping. But ....when you go outside in the morning to walk the dog in the park, or buy some food, anywhere...you can meet a nice lady and it can lead to anything. But there's also nothing wrong with trying out dating sites, I am seriously considering it and think pretty soon i'll do it.

I don't think any guy is capable of impressing a woman every day, neither should that be necessary.

Not sure if I believe that & I don't have a dog, I don't really go outside alot & dating sites are definately out of the question for me.

 

[Mechi]

Gonna have to respectfully disagree & what I have to lose is being rejected so not sure how that is a "winning situation". IMO not worth it.

Well that's certainly the question or better everyones decision... what's more important to you, your own happiness or just one of billions of women on this planet maybe saying no to you.
If a 'no' from a women is already like 'killing' your self esteem then your self esteem is only an illusion to me personally anyways.
If it makes you happy to live with only yourself in your world then of cuz don't get over yourself... that's cool. And I really mean that.
But if it doesn't make you really happy and it does sound like that you maybe should risk a bit for maybe winning some happiness?

How is it said... no risk no fun. But yeah... it's up to everyone to make that choice!

 

[Victory2004]

Well that's certainly the question or better everyones decision... what's more important to you, your own happiness or just one of billions of women on this planet maybe saying no to you.
If a 'no' from a women is already like 'killing' your self esteem then your self esteem is only an illusion to me personally anyways.
If it makes you happy to live with only yourself in your world then of cuz don't get over yourself... that's cool. And I really mean that.
But if it doesn't make you really happy and it does sound like that you maybe should risk a bit for maybe winning some happiness?

How is it said... no risk no fun. But yeah... it's up to everyone to make that choice!

Some things in life aren't worth the risk. Like I said earlier if it happens then it does & if not then it won't.

 

[kekesmiling878]

Be yourself. And speak out to her.she is a great girl. if you talk to her about yourself I think she will open to you. Then your happy life is coming.

 

[Staffordshire Bullterrier]

Not sure if I believe that & I don't have a dog, I don't really go outside alot & dating sites are definately out of the question for me.

I think you need to have alittle more positivity in your life. I used to feel and think exactly like that, was very negative about alot things. But recently that has completely changed, i'm open to a new relationship now, i'm actually looking for it now too. If you don't have a dog, you can still go out to the park and just walk or just sit on a bench,read something.Anything, not even nessecarily to meet a nice lady, it can always happen, but going outside..there's nothing wrong with that. I wish i could help out more, but i can't really..

At the end of the day...one thing matters, your happiness. If you are happy and enjoy life, than who gives a damn if you are seeing a girl or not, happiness is everything.

A lady friend of mine recommended me something recently, it's called Speed dating, basically it's a evening organised by someone, you go to a certain bar/club and there will be like around 25 women who are all looking for a partner. Around the age of 20-35 and basically you talk to them for like 10 minutes or so, one on one conversations and that way try to get an impression of eachother. That way i meet alot of women on one evening and who knows, i may just walk out of there with a real date, a woman i find really interesting and would like to get to know better. It costs 33 euro though,which includes a meal and something to drink. I might do it.

 

[Mechi]

http://www.askmen.com/video/dating/1004-how-to-attract-women-video.html

this is for all the guys who want a girl!

 

[Victory2004]

I think you need to have alittle more positivity in your life. I used to feel and think exactly like that, was very negative about alot things. But recently that has completely changed, i'm open to a new relationship now, i'm actually looking for it now too. If you don't have a dog, you can still go out to the park and just walk or just sit on a bench, read something. Anything, not even necessarily to meet a nice lady, it can always happen, but going outside..there's nothing wrong with that. I wish I could help out more, but I can't really..

At the end of the day...one thing matters, your happiness. If you are happy and enjoy life, than who gives a damn if you are seeing a girl or not, happiness is everything.

A lady friend of mine recommended me something recently, it's called Speed dating, basically it's a evening organised by someone, you go to a certain bar/club and there will be like around 25 women who are all looking for a partner. Around the age of 20-35 and basically you talk to them for like 10 minutes or so, one on one conversations and that way try to get an impression of eachother. That way I meet alot of women on one evening and who knows, I may just walk out of there with a real date, a woman i find really interesting and would like to get to know better. It costs 33 euro though,which includes a meal and something to drink. I might do it.

There are no parks near me. I'm not one who likes to go outside much except when i'm required to or when I go see a movie in theaters.