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June 25, 2011: How we feel today...

ForeverKOP

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I don't know where to post this... I didn't want to write this in the Book of L.O.V.E. thread because those are all messages for Michael... So...I was wondering, can we just have a thread solely for expressing how we feel today? Not what we're doing, or where we're going - just how we're feeling..

As for myself, the two words I could use to describe how I feel right now would just be extremely sad & hopeless. Which is really weird...because I thought I had gotten over the "sad/depressing phase" a long, long time ago. I was fine yesterday, the day before that, and the day before that, etc. But today, it's confusing, because suddenly all the gloomy feelings from the past come out of nowhere and replace the cheerful & happy memories I've been enjoying. Why is today so hard for me - for all of us? What really makes today different from all of the other days that he's been gone? How are you all feeling right now?

:cry:
 
I feel like killing myself. I can't imagine my life without Michael. I miss and love him so much..
 
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Sending hugs to everyone who's hurting so much today. I can't believe how much pain I'm feeling. I've never had a problem listening to Michael's music, but today it's killing me :( I hope we can all find strength in one another and slowly the pain will ease again ... until the next anniversary.
 
Ive been at my bed so im going to walk with my dog, i hope that makes the feeling a little less hurtfull.
 
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It sucks big time. Kept myself busy and promised I wouldn't go behind the computer. But here I am. Just have to. Although I have a feeling there's less goind on then last year. Not too many photos from Forest Lawn yet. What I've seen it's looking beautifull there. And Michael would be so proud.
 
I feel fine a little bit but you kown I'm going to be alright, my firends didn't talk about june 25th yesterday but they just go about thier bizness! for me I don't follow the bad corwd I wanna follow what Michael Jackson has to ofter.
 
I feel like killing myself. I can't imagine my life without Michael. I miss and love him so much.
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I wish u wouldn't say that. MJ wouldn't want that. :( But, I do understand what u feel it is hard. But, let's be grateful for the memories and keep his LOVE and Charity ALIVE! God bless!

Well, as for me. I'm definitely crying! Still unreal...and a lot of questions, unanswered. I am so grateful that he was part of my lifetime. I will forever keep his message and memory alive. And continue to share his greatness with others! :) I LOVE U MICHAEL! God bless u my love. =,(
 
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I feel fine.
I feel peaceful.
I decided a date will not change big thing and I refuse to give in to sorrow.
Today I choose to remember Michael with a smile.
Difficult as it might be, good as it might feel.

I love you, Michael.
 
I actually don't feel so bad... 'cos instead of mourning his death, I celebrated his life today. The only way I could even get up from the bed today. I have cried, but I have also laughed... I've been listening to his songs the whole day and watched TII earlier.

I have a big hug to you all, especially those who need it:)
 
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I feel sad...I feel angry...I feel numb today,,I usually deal with Michael's death ok on a daily bases...but not today.
 
his music is being played on 98.7 kiss fm and WBLS 107.5 fm out here in New york i just been listening to the radio here and there went and did shopping as well just to walk the streets of harlem and feels the love MJ has is so serious and heart broken he left a strong legacy behind there will never ever be another MJJ he is truely miss reasons i couldn't cry today because i was able to have three decades with him from videos, awards show interviews etc i watch him on TV sense i was 1yrs old he had a great impact on my family and many other peoples' family he change the face of the Industry and those higher ups couldn't handle his force to be reecken with at least he was able to have millions of fans continue to seek justice and fright again the industry and their garbage misleadings i thank the heavenly father for him because he went through hell and finally made it to heaven may he sleep in peace god bless u all...
 
Thetruthbetold said:
his music is being played on 98.7 kiss fm and WBLS 107.5 fm out here in New york i just been listening to the radio here and there went and did shopping as well just to walk the streets of harlem and feels the love MJ has is so serious and heart broken he left a strong legacy behind there will never ever be another MJJ he is truely miss reasons i couldn't cry today because i was able to have three decades with him from videos, awards show interviews etc i watch him on TV sense i was 1yrs old he had a great impact on my family and many other peoples' family he change the face of the Industry and those higher ups couldn't handle his force to be reecken with at least he was able to have millions of fans continue to seek justice and fright again the industry and their garbage misleadings i thank the heavenly father for him because he went through hell and finally made it to heaven may he sleep in peace god bless u all...
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Thank you for this post...every word of it is the truth.. :clapping:
 
I feel so grateful I've got to know about him and his music during the time I did, so grateful.
But what can I say? Still hurts a lot, yesterday I spent the day crying, this morning I woke up feeling a little better but I don't feel like listen to his music, not yet.
It's rainy and cold here, there were different MJ activities but I didn't feel like going, maybe I'll go somewhere tonight.
Hugs to everyone, I hope you guys feel fine :better:
 
EDIT: Omg, I haven't visited MJJC in such a long time..that I totally forgot how the whole board works, but I was talking about thunderx) This is so weird, but I dreamed about someone saying this a while ago. The exact same words..and yes, it was a dream about MJJC (IDK why I dreamed about MJJC, it was just this random thing I dreamed a couple of weeks ago and I didn't payed any further attention to it)...

I already posted this, but this is how exactly how I feel:
Today is such a weird day for me. As cruel it might sound, I kind of blocked Michael out of my mind for a long time. I don't know why, but I tried to think less and less of him, stopped visiting fanboards (and if I did, I only read the non MJ related topics), didn't payed any attention to 'Michael'. Whenever I started to think of Michael, everything just seemed like a vague memory, something that happened a long time ago.

I guess I did this, cause im some way...it still hurts. I'm listening to Better on the Other Side right now..I remember the day when this song came out. I couldn't stop crying, all of these emotions I felt that summer of 2009 are starting to come back to me right now at this very moment. I just miss how things were, being happy when we saw new pictures of him shopping, talking and getting excited about the TII concerts, when Hold my Hand was leaked...I just get so frustrated when I think, that we will never get moments like those back..I guess that's why I wasn't excited about ''Michael''..nothing feels the same anymore now that he's gone.

In someway I feel like I let him down, when he passed away it was my goal to keep his legacy alive. Lately I've done nothing that shows that I even care bout him. It wasn't untll I just listened to Better on the Other Side, that I realized that he still means so much to me...

I'm sorry MJ...R.I.P

I just want the old days back, so so so badly
 
I've spent the day in MJs spirit. I've been to Disneyland in Paris with a bunch of other fans. We saw Captain EO a bunch of times! Cheered when Michael appeared on screen, kept the legacy alive! I spent the day being joyful. I feel as though that's how Michael would have wanted it.

I love you Michael.
 
I was fine all week, but yesterday and today I feel so sad. I'm in a daze. I think I'll end up crying :cry: It still hurts so much.
 
I am watching his HIStory concert in Munich right now and still can't believe he is not with us anymore....
 
Well, as long as you didn't mention the date I was fine... smiling and babbling about Michael :heart:
Realizing what date we are is just 'mixed' emotions... Sadness and anger...
I did vent to my friend and she vented too...
WHY is still a HUGE question... WHY did no one SAVE him? WHY ')
Wish I could go back in time and somehow WARNED him of all the BAD things that would have happened to him including June 25 :(
WHY did he leave us so soon? Much too soon :(
 
the why question is a big one.. I feel sad but also blessed to have michael in my life. He made me a better person. To watch over children, the earth. He did amazing things and i hope we as fans can make that true after his passing.
 
I feel completely empty and emotionally exhausted... I cried quite a few times today, but there's a part of me that has become much more calm since last years anniversary, seeing all the negative and cruelty that Michael had to deal with in his every day life makes me wonder if he's not better now... that he's finally getting the peace he's always wanted, away from the horrible people, away from the emotional stress, away from the physical pain, away from all the sorrow... he's finally at peace amongst the angels, feeling our love and smiling...

Today I went to church, I spent 2 hours on a bench talking to him and listening to his ballads, and I felt inner peace, I felt this comforting cold breeze around me and his voice made me feel like I was in heaven... I promised to stop crying (even tough it's hard and I tend at times not to keep my promise, but I'm trying) and asked god to protect him. I'm in pain, but I want to fight it so that I can let Michael bring happiness to me again like he has for the past 23 years!
 
snorlaaax said:
Omg, I haven't visited MJJC in such a long time..that I totally forgot how the whole board works
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Same here. Too many private issues. :wacko:
But despite all that there is not one single day I don't tell Mikey that I love him ...

How I feel today? Torn somehow. On one hand I don't want to get lost in sadness and anger, I think life is too short for this. And I am so grateful to have "known" him for so many years, even decades. But then again ... on the other hand - especially on days like this, when there are many MJ songs on the radio remembering the King of Pop - my stomach starts aching again. The movie in my mind started anew, the same pictures I saw two years ago ... will it ever stop? :sigh: I really don't know.
:rip:
 
I feel like crying. The radio and tv has been tributing him yesterday. Where was all this when he was here to see it?

I just feel so sad for Michael right now. And I wish he was here.
 
well i feel like MJ started social media, because he scored a victory over traditional media. he's the first artist that i see keeping a mass of fans, despite media bias against him. and genuine constant rememberance of his music, by fans, despite media trying to make fans forget. other artists feel like media creations without fan support. Michael feels genuinely famous..like a fan creation without media support. i know which one is stronger, and which one i prefer, and which one all artists dream of possessing. the latter. and it makes the media forever envious. and i get satisfaction from that. i have a lot of jumbled feelings, right now, otherwise..and i play his music. i can't not play his music. it has always, and still always, helps me to survive.
 
I'm angry at Bieber fans tweeting that he is the new king of pop.. I'm angry at haters telling me Michael was a ped


I can't even be bothered to write any more, im depresed and im angry and i cant wait for ustice bcause it has been two fucking years.
 
i wanna say here in my country 25 june is over, its now 26. I could not watch or hear michael this day. Its weird mostly i tear up when i hear him or see him, today i felt num. (dont know the spelling) no emotion just nothing.
I want to watch him but june 25 is to hard, i couldnt :( im sorry michael if i let you down, tomorrow i will watch and listen, i love you
 
All I can say is I hurt......
I have been doing things today to take my mind away from the fact that it has been 2 years. Seeing friends, having a good evening,
but it still hurts....
we were soo lucky that he was part of our lives and always will be
 
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