Still Timid

[FullLipsDotNose]

Although I've been a fan for eleven years, I still have trouble sometimes to come out as an MJ fan. A lot of things has changed after 2009 - people seem to respect Michael more - but I still can't get past that perception that being his fan is somehow weird.

I know there's no shame to be a fan, but I still feel a bit uneasy when I post or say something related to MJ. I feel safer talking about my other favourite artists despite being their fan to a lesser extent. I remember the times people would laugh at me for loving Mike. It's away, but old habits die out slowly.

Does any of you feel the same?

 

[Ms. BlueGangsta]

Although I've been a fan for eleven years, I still have trouble sometimes to come out as an MJ fan. A lot of things has changed after 2009 - people seem to respect Michael more - but I still can't get past that perception that being his fan is somehow weird.

I know there's no shame to be a fan, but I still feel a bit uneasy when I post or say something related to MJ. I feel safer talking about my other favourite artists despite being their fan to a lesser extent. I remember the times people would laugh at me for loving Mike. It's away, but old habits die out slowly.

Does any of you feel the same?

I understand what you,re saying (even though I've never felt like that personally), but the funny thing is that the people that laugh at you for being an MJ fan have probably jammed to his music too. :yes:

 

[Michaels Lover]

nope, I do not hide that I am MJ fan! far from it. I proudly show it off by ALWAYS wearing something MJ related, so that people have to just take one look at me and they can tell right away that I'm a MJ fan. and if they have anything to say, I will straight up tell them that I'm not interested in their ignorance. 99% of the time though, the comments are nice. and if they think I'm weird because I'm his fan? I really don't give a rats ass what people think about me, for this, or any other reason. they don't know me, and if they are that small minded that they judge me by being a fan of someone, they're not really worth my time and energy, anyway, if they are THAT ignorant. and trust me, I've experienced it myself plenty of times. I have even been accused of liking men who wants to be a woman and at the same time are pedophile. or even being accused of being pedophile myself...based on the fact alone that I am his fan, and they know nothing else about me. uuhmm...yeah..okay...I'm just gonna back away slowly now :ermm:

 

[MJsBollywoodGirl7]

At one time I did felt like that. I remember after the 93 allegations came out about him. As upset as I was about them. But of course I knew right away he was innocent. About a day or so after it had happen. I suddenly realized that in a couple of weeks I will be starting 7th grade. I was 13 at the time. And I was forced to hide my MJ fandom from the other kids in my school. Because I was just so afraid for my life. Because if those other kids knew I was still an MJ fan. I might not leave that school alive. Before this happen with him. A lot of kids in my school had liked him. And I am an American MJ fan. The American media had always treated Michael so horribly back in the 90s. To me there was really just no need for it. But it wasn't until when I was in my final 2 years of high school. When I finally stopped hiding my MJ fandom. And started standing up to the MJ haters. I didn't care if the haters made fun of me for being a fan of his. But when they started to make fun of him. That was when I really fought back. And literally became an attack dog. When it came to Michael Jackson back then you seriously did not want to mess with. I remember almost putting a girl in the hospital for making fun of him. When I warn her of what I might do if she did not stop. My MJ obsession was extremely bad back then. It remain that way with me even after the 2nd allegations came out. In fact I was so angry that this was happening to Michael again. That I did something that I thought I will never do. I did this drawing of Tom Sneddon behind bars wearing a striped prison uniform. And I had put in bold red lettering 100% Guilty. I still have that picture of him. As well as this old wanted style poster I did of both Diane Diamond and Tom Sneddon. After all these years I still find those pictures I did quite funny. Even though they both had it coming. Especially Tom for making Michael go through this again. When it was nothing but horrible lies. Even though that 99.5% of my hardcore MJ fandom is totally gone from. Thanks to that evil nameless monster for causing my severe depression. But despite of how I might feel about Michael now. Since I can no longer watch Michael without suffering a panic attack. And I haven't listen to him since September of last year. That was when I realized I totally lost the enjoyment I had for him. Shahrukh Khan and my Bollywood music had since replaced him sadly. But despite that there still things I do to always remind me that I still love him. Like my laptop desktop is a MJ picture. I always wear a black MJ t-shirt when I am at home. I used to always wear them out in public. But thanks to my 2 cats and their very sharp claws that is no longer an option for me. Though not all of my MJ t-shirts are like that. Just mostly the black ones. I will eventually get them replaced. Black is the only color I will wear mostly anymore. Since I am still in mourning over him.:boohoo As I probably always will be for the rest of my life. And I am only 36 now. And I always wear my MJ necklaces 24/7. I go no where without those necklaces on me at all times. People out in public had asked me about them. And I always tell them. It is my silver HIStory MJ symbol pendant they ask about. You know this symbol:

The other one is a real sterling silver glove pendant were on one side it says MJ and the other side it says The King Of Pop. Both of those pendants are on real sterling silver chains. My 3rd MJ pendant I wear is a dog tag type picture of him. That I wear it on a black cord. I keep that one almost tightly around my neck. I had knotted it good and tight. So it will never come off of me. Ever since the early 80s I have been an MJ fan. Even though I can no longer call myself the obsessive 100% hardcore MJ fan that I once was. Back when we still had him. I still show my love for him in other ways. Of course I am no longer the attack dog that I once was. I personally really don't care about what anyone says about him now. I had since learn to ignored MJ haters. And their hatefulness towards him. At least as a MJ fan I know the truth when it comes to him. And in a way it is really sad. Because I can still remember a wonderful time where MJ haters were practically unheard of. And Michael was once loved by practically everyone. If only I could go back and relived that amazing time again. :boohoo

 

[Daryll748]

It comes in 'waves' for me lol.

It's tough to explain as MJ for me sums up 'feelings' and they are tough to 'talk' about, right?

I go through 'phases' really... I mean I had times I just 'flaunted' around wearing badges and T-shirts and stuff and I have times I just kinda 'hide' it.

I guess, it's how you 'feel' too. :blush: and maybe part of 'growing up' . I did a lot of that in the last years.

I mean if you showed you loved MJ 'pre 2009' You were laughed and ridiculed and that is why I rather just stayed home 'cocooned' in my room or being HOME here on MJJCommunity.

Then you have 'post 2009' where People act 'differently' as in they smile and seem to have more 'respect' for you as you still love MJ after all the slander and what happened to him.

Anyway, I admit I don't 'flaunt' anymore but I do still wear my white socks and black shoes with pride and I still have my fave piccie of MJ in my wallet which tend to flap open each time I use my bankcard lol. :cheeky:

I don't hide my MJ stuff in my flat though as this is my HOME and anyone that visits is 'invited' so that I know that they at least 'respect' MJ.

To end this ramble lol

I never ever thought of it as being 'wierd' as I grew up with MJ and I still see him as the BIG Bro I never had. I didn't 'idolize' him like a STAR though I call myself a 'fan' :scratch:

MJ is such a HUGE part of me that I had to 'rebuild' my life and like start from 'scratch' again when he was 'taken away' and I thank :wub: MJJCommunity :wub: and the :clapping:MJJCFam :clapping: here for 'supporting' me through these 'trials and tribulations' :blush:

NEVER EVER be ashamed to BE YOURSELF and LOVE someone with all your heart even when it means you have to stand ALONE.

 

[PurdyYungThang84]

Although I've been a fan for eleven years, I still have trouble sometimes to come out as an MJ fan. A lot of things has changed after 2009 - people seem to respect Michael more - but I still can't get past that perception that being his fan is somehow weird.

I know there's no shame to be a fan, but I still feel a bit uneasy when I post or say something related to MJ. I feel safer talking about my other favourite artists despite being their fan to a lesser extent. I remember the times people would laugh at me for loving Mike. It's away, but old habits die out slowly.

Does any of you feel the same?

I get what you mean, but the last thing you should be worried about is what other's think about it. Truly. Not everyone is gonna get being a Michael fan, and that's fine. But if people go out of their way to make you feel bad about it, then they aren't people you need in your life. Not because they need to like Michael too, but because it's something that's meaningful to you and the least they can do if they care about you is respect that. Even if they don't agree or understand it. You should never be made to feel badly about being yourself, that goes for Michael fandom and life in general. :heart:

I will say tho, and this is just my personal choice, I stopped talking about Michael in depth with non-fans. I just got to the point where I was fed up with trying to explain it to people so they'd understand and then needing to get defensive when people didn't get it and the conversation turned ugly lol. I only talk about fan stuff with people that I know "get it".

You can decide who you let be a part of this side of your life. Don't give @ssholes the satisfaction of making you feel bad for what you love. :heart: :cheeky:

 

[Daryll748]

Indeed, I agree with you PurdyYungThang84 :blush:

The balance is what to talk about and with whom. I mean I 'reconnected' with a friend. I know, she's not a fan but she 'respects' MJ and that is why I'm giving her a 2nd chance cause MJ is 'part of your life' and you still need to have a 'plan B' or another part of your life too.

Believe me, I struggle with it too. who to let it and who to shut out cause you take only that amount of heartache in your life but the trick is to be honest about it and just tell the other person how you feel cause the other one can't know if you don't tell them. :blush: