Hello forum, I am a new member. I found lots of useful information on this forum so I've decided to signup.

For my introduction I would like to share my latest realisation about the world around Michael Jackson.

You see, inside of my circle of friends, I can easily be labelled as an insane MJ fan. Bare in my that I don't have any MJ pictures on my walls, I don't have any MJ stickers on my car, I have only one MJ shirt and I don't have MJ as my PC background (only on my phone, haha). I don't have any memorabilia, don't have any statues or figures, not even a keychain of MJ. What I do have are most of his albums on vinyl and CD and I listen to him 24/7. That's it. I mean, compare this to some of the real hardcore collector fans and from 0 to 10 you could label me as a 3. On the other hand, when it comes to my devotion to his music and his mindset you can label me as a 10 since I am convinced that Michael was the greatest entertainer the world has ever seen, but this isn't showing in an "unhealthy" way if you know what I mean.
So what I'm trying to say is that I am well inside the boundaries of sanity when it comes to my MJ experssion. I just talk about the facts. It is a fact that his Bad tour was one of the most physically demanding things any human beaing can pull off. It is a fact that his music is timeless and multilayered. It is a fact that he single-handedly lifted the entire music industry to a completely new level. It is a fact that he was a super kind and emphatic man and that he remained true to himself despite being the most famous human on this planet. These are just facts, it has nothing to do with my devotion to him.

And now we come to the difference between being a fan and being a fanboy.
I consider myself a person who runs on extremes. If I start a project, I want to bring it to perfection. If I start playing a sport I would like to find the best player who I can look up to (Vasek Klouda in footbag, Magnus Carlsen in chess, Adam Ondra in climbing, Daigo Umehara in Street Fighter,..). I like extremes and I believe there is always someone who is objectively the best at something. I don't like the modern hippy mindset where we are all the winners just by competing.
Naturally I have to find the best in rap (Ice-T), the best in electronic music (Umek) and the best in pop (MJ).
So what is the difference between a FAN and a FANBOY? A fan is someone who is devoted to something because that something is objectively the best at that particular moment. However, if things change and that certain something is no longer the best, a fan will change their mind and not be a fan anymore.
On the other hand, a fanboy will remain devoted to that thing just because that thing is that thing. Even if it is objectively not the best anymore.
It is a lot like science vs religion where science wants to be proven wrong and actively searches for proof that will change its mind. Religion however sticks to its dogma and tries to find evidence that the thing is still the best.

I like to think of myself as a rational man, a scientific man. I have left many idols and obsessions behind me since they proved not to be the best anymore. For example, I love Casio watches from the 90' and can't wear any other watch on my hand ever. However I don't like the modern Casio designs and will never buy any of them. I believe this makes me a fan instead of a fanboy.
I am not a Michael fanboy. At least I am certain I am not. Maybe someday I will realise that I was nothing more than a misguided fanboy and that MJ was actually not the best in the world. However, I find that possibility to be reaaaaaly slim. Next to impossible.

So we now come to the thing that I was actually trying to say. My friends are labelling me as a fanboy. At first it didn't bother me since we are all open and honest and we tell it like it is. And we also joke a lot so sometimes not even we can tell the difference between a joke and reality. So yeah, it didn't bother me at first. I played an MJ song and I got an instant "you are such a fanboy". I found it funny and cute at first and even liked it in a certain way.
But I'm afraid that now things have gotten under control. It has slowly come to the point where I can no longer say or do anything MJ related and not be called a fanboy. I don't like it anymore because it is not true. And my friends are subconsciously looking for any small detail that will prove me wrong.
Let me give you an example. The other day I showed the Wembley Bad tour to one of my friends who is muscially educated a lot more than I am. He plays the guitar and has a vast knowledge of many genres since he is intelligent enough to find joy in almost every genre of music. The moment I pressed play he went into a defensive mode because my "fanboyism" instantly got to him. He watched Michael jumping around and singing and said:"Well he just walks up and down the stage, it really isn't THAT physically demanding." This was not something I was expecting of him. In fact it was not something to be expected of him in general. This was not him talking because I know him too well. He is much more intelligent for a statement like that. So why did he say it? Simply because he couldn't help himself. All that he saw was me being a fanboy and proclaiming nobody on this world can pull this off.

This is just one example, there are more. I am now afraid to even mention Michael's name in the presence of my friends. I'm afraid to put on his music when they are around. I simply can't do it. I mean, I COULD do it but I have to be smarter than that and not cause problems.
So I guess...I guess this analogy can be applied more globally. Michael was so good on so many levels that most people just can't understand it. They don't want to understand it because the MJ fanbase gives the impression of being fanboys instead of fans. Can you imagine the paradox in this? Michael was objectively so goddamn good that people who realise it can never appear as fans to general audience. They can only appear as fanboys. Because how could one single person be better at almost everything than everybody else? It just isn't possible, right? Those guys are such fanboys.

Is this something we can or should change? Do we really need to control our enthusiasm and be careful how we show it? Is there even a way we can do that?
How can I say Michael was the best without sounding like a fanboy? Well, one thing are hard cold facts. Just by giving the facts, you are educating your friends and you avoid sounding like a fanboy. Facts don't lie, right?
However in my case even facts don't cut it anymore, because my friends don't care about facts. They don't want to hear proof that he was the best.

So what would be the takeaway of all this? I guess the moral would be to kindly and moderately present facts to your friends. Dont just say:"GUYS, MJ IS THE BEST, OMG OMG!!". Because I did that and look where it got me. I feel more and more alone with my love for MJ and ironically that only helps to strengthen that bond because MJ probably felt a lot like that in his life. The loops and irony are just piling up and there is no one that I can talk to about it. This whole thing is like an event horizon of a black hole. Once you get past it there is no turning back. And while outside observers can see you stuck in place and not moving (because the light from you can no longer reach them), you yourself keep falling faster and faster and your body starts stretching like a spaghetti.

I do know one thing, however. I am NOT a fanboy. I follow logic and reason. It is the outside world that refuses to see the facts.
Am I ok with this? Can I continue listening to him and not be bother by that fact? Not today, no....but maybe tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow...