Heart aching for MJ right now. Reaching out to like-minded people.

LateToTheMJParty

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
1
Points
0
I just want to post my story of how I came to be here on this forum, aged 47.

I was never an MJ fan. His music never connected with me. I lived near Wembley and saw the strobe lighting of his concerts but it never occurred to me to go to them myself.

However I have always been fascinated by the man himself, but not necessarily always positive fascination, I confess. I could not look away from Bashir’s documentary at the time but I just did not know what to make of him. I was dimly aware of his court case, feeling he could not have done those things but not having a visceral reaction to it at that time.

Now though, when I watched the Leaving Neverland docu, something inside just screamed No! He did not do this, I just KNOW! I don’t know where it came from. It seemed suddenly so ugly and obscene that a man who loved children in such a pure way could still be being sullied by these disgusting accusations.

Since then I have watched and read stuff about MJ every day. I am reading the Tarraborelli book and I am connecting more and more with who MJ was and who I instinctively felt him to be from Leaving Neverland onwards.

I have been crying over his life and over how these accusations must have torn him up - how he could not have been accused of anything worse. I know it is silly but I am hoping to be around people who might understand, on this forum. I heard the slurred tapes from Dr Conrad and, my god, even when he was in that state he was still thinking about helping children and building children’s hospitals. How anyone can believe the accusations baffles me. Truly baffles me.

I know I am among lifelong fans here but yet I feel I need to connect with you. I hope you will not judge me for not having been a fan all my life. I cannot talk about this stuff anywhere else. I am moved beyond words by his life, by his plight, by the gilded cage society put him in and then pointed and laughed at him in. He was denied normal life and normal development by the fame we all accorded him, but then the world mocked and derided him when he did not behave and act like normal people. His heart was so pure and the world betrayed him over and over again. Human nature disgusts me when I contemplate his life.

I have been crying today about it all. I never understood before this year. Please don’t revile me just because I did not see and understand before. I was just busy living my life and I did not truly stop to really look.

PS my MJ-flavoured contempt is particularly reserved for, apart from his latest two lying accusers of course, Evan Chandler, Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jacobshagen, Melanie Bagnall. Not sure about Lisa Marie. I feel like she could have been more loyal and vocal in his defence. I have a feeling this list will be added to soon, as I read and learn more.
 
Hello. Welcome to MJJC. :)

Leaving Neverland actually created a bunch of new fans who found the truth after seeing through the lies in that film. One of the positive things to come out of this mess.
A lot of MJ fans are not lifelong fans, so don't worry. We all found Michael at various points in our lives, through various means. How or when you become a fan isn't what matters. What matters is that you found Michael and you came to see him for who he really is.

I'm sorry you are suffering emotionally. But know you are not alone. We understand that suffering and we share it with you. Through March till the end of June, I cried many times. The injustice of Leaving Neverland and then the fresh wave of grief and sense of loss from the approach of the 10th anniversary of Michael's passing was immensely painful. It completely drained me. It's been a very hard time for everyone these last few months. It still is. The tears will continue to flow for many of us, because we miss Michael and it's hard to think about how much he suffered in his life and the continued injustice. But Michael isn't suffering anymore. He's free. Hold on to that, breathe, and let his beautiful spirit fill your heart. We are his soldiers of love. We will fight for justice and continue his legacy of love. Together.

I hope you can find solace and a sense of community at MJJC.
 
LateToTheMJParty;4263610 said:
I just want to post my story of how I came to be here on this forum, aged 47.

I was never an MJ fan. His music never connected with me. I lived near Wembley and saw the strobe lighting of his concerts but it never occurred to me to go to them myself.

However I have always been fascinated by the man himself, but not necessarily always positive fascination, I confess. I could not look away from Bashir’s documentary at the time but I just did not know what to make of him. I was dimly aware of his court case, feeling he could not have done those things but not having a visceral reaction to it at that time.

Now though, when I watched the Leaving Neverland docu, something inside just screamed No! He did not do this, I just KNOW! I don’t know where it came from. It seemed suddenly so ugly and obscene that a man who loved children in such a pure way could still be being sullied by these disgusting accusations.

Since then I have watched and read stuff about MJ every day. I am reading the Tarraborelli book and I am connecting more and more with who MJ was and who I instinctively felt him to be from Leaving Neverland onwards.

I have been crying over his life and over how these accusations must have torn him up - how he could not have been accused of anything worse. I know it is silly but I am hoping to be around people who might understand, on this forum. I heard the slurred tapes from Dr Conrad and, my god, even when he was in that state he was still thinking about helping children and building children’s hospitals. How anyone can believe the accusations baffles me. Truly baffles me.

I know I am among lifelong fans here but yet I feel I need to connect with you. I hope you will not judge me for not having been a fan all my life. I cannot talk about this stuff anywhere else. I am moved beyond words by his life, by his plight, by the gilded cage society put him in and then pointed and laughed at him in. He was denied normal life and normal development by the fame we all accorded him, but then the world mocked and derided him when he did not behave and act like normal people. His heart was so pure and the world betrayed him over and over again. Human nature disgusts me when I contemplate his life.

I have been crying today about it all. I never understood before this year. Please don’t revile me just because I did not see and understand before. I was just busy living my life and I did not truly stop to really look.

PS my MJ-flavoured contempt is particularly reserved for, apart from his latest two lying accusers of course, Evan Chandler, Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jacobshagen, Melanie Bagnall. Not sure about Lisa Marie. I feel like she could have been more loyal and vocal in his defence. I have a feeling this list will be added to soon, as I read and learn more.

Why would we judge you for that? Michael Jackson was a complicated soul with a complicated life. It's good that you're taking the time on your own to come closer to an understanding of what he was during his time on Earth.

And hello.
 
Back
Top