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Member Support thread - come on in.

StaceyMJ

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None of you are alone. Please use this thread to talk to each other, comfort each other and support each other. Together we are Michael's army of love. On this very hard day, please keep talking to us. We will get through this together. :hug:
 
Seeing this forum made me cry... It's really happening isn't it? One year anniversary... Time really flies too quickly... I can't believe it's been this long already. I remember that day so vividly. As if it was just yesterday...

It was the worst year of my life.
 
This is just so surreal to me.....All I know is that I'm very grateful that I've found all of you.....and I'll be here for anyone that needs to talk
 
June 25th 2009 is so vivid in my mind..I am still filled with so much sadness and horror. Each day hits me like the last...time is not making this any easier...in fact it makes it worse...hugs for everyone :cry: :huggy:
 
i,ve never really excepted michael being gone,i can,t let go of him,this is worse than the day we lost him,
 
This day is sad but his legacy lives on...he is everywhere right now! Television is praying tribute to him all week, memorial gatherings are set up all over the world and concerts are honoring his memory. Its amazing the affect he had on people!

I just pray that the love for him never fades. Like Elvis, as time went by people remember but its not as big of a deal. I dont want MJ to be like that.
 
If only we could zoom past tomorrow. Its not exactly a day I want to remember, in fact I would block it out of my memory completely if I could.

If I really think about it, I still feel a slight bit of the feeling I had that horrible day.

It was a day I didnt think I would have to encounter until I was in my 50's. The death of my idol, I imagined seeing it on the news and telling my kids all about how he was the most famous man on the planet and the greatest entertainer that ever lived. Suddenly im struck with it at 18 years old and in the midst of summer.

All of that excitement built up for Michaels comeback, we had waited literally years for something from Michael. This was the time, we all had our tickets and were getting closer and closer to opening day. Suddenly everything was ripped away, when news came of him being taken away in an ambulance I assumed it was a employee in the home. Everything was just ripped away.

I think the real hardest part was seeing peoples reactions on Facebook and stuff, it just made it so much more surreal.

Honestly if there was ever one day in my life that I would erase from my memory, it would be June 25th 2009. I already avoid thinking about it as much as possible. I cant wait till the 25th passes and we can move on even further. Hopefully.
 
JMie said:
Seeing this forum made me cry... It's really happening isn't it? One year anniversary... Time really flies too quickly... I can't believe it's been this long already. I remember that day so vividly. As if it was just yesterday...

It was the worst year of my life.
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yes unfortuantely it is happening at much as we all want to wake uo and its going to be one big dream it's actually something we have got to face and deal with, but as stacey has said in this thread none of us are alone and if we keep talking to each other we'll get through it :huggy: to anyone that's having troubles and is needing a little support.
 
I won't cry cuz' I know he's in better place now.

We have gone through a hard time, but you guys never stopped working to keep his legacy alive. Thank you so much.

Michael would be very proud of you.
 
It hit me right now when I saw the forum... :cry: all this time I have been avoiding, trying to be busy with everything else in my life so I dont have to think about this day. I cant believe its been a year, thats crazy, how fast time flies, its almost as if he is still alive. But I guess now he will be alive, in each and one of us.
 
My tears and headaches won't go away. I hold him in the most loving and tender part of my soul.
 
I don't think I'll ever get over him being gone...We will always miss him and he should still be here :(
 
It's still the 24th of June where I am, but I still feel my emotions starting to turn for the worst. :(
 
I am sitting here crying over Michael again. I am missing him more than ever right now. I just don't know how to move forward. I am almost afraid to put my thoughts into words. I feel like I am waiting for my turn to die.. so that I can be with him. The thought brings tears to my eyes, but the pain of living without him is just so unbearable sometimes. This all hurts so much that I don't know how much more of it I can bear without him here. I am trying to survive... But I am not doing a very good job. I just want to hold Michael. I want to feel his heartbeat. I want to look into his brown eyes. I know it will never happen though. :weeping: I am so sad right now. I really hate living. Every day is torture. I can't stand it anymore.
 
Ever since I had gotten the worst news ever on June 25th at 6:30 pm last year. My old life that I once had just forever died with Michael. The second I had saw the years 1958-2009 on my tv screen. I was once a very happy person who used to really L.O.V.E. life. But it is not like that for me anymore. I can never ever feel happy ever again. That is the one feeling that I really miss and crave the most. But happiness as well as other feelings like that are feelings now I can no longer feel or process. All happiness type feelings has been forever ripped out of me the second I had gotten the news. Now all I feel now is sadness, misery, and deep depression. Because of that depression I am still very much in. I still tend to have suicidal thoughts even now. I have been suffering from clinical depression ever I had gotten the one news I thought I will never have to hear until maybe 30 years or so later. Never did I thought at the age of 29 (I am 30 now) that I will lose the only person that I had ever truly L.♥.V.E. the most in the entire world. I have been a Michael Jackson fan ever since the early 80s. And the one thing I have been finding myself doing something that I thought I will never do. Is questioning myself of why I had to become a fan of his in the first place. I so wish I could go back 25 years ago. And if someone back then would have show me through a crystal ball. Just how painful the lost of Michael Jackson was going to be. I would have never ever stay a fan of his this long. I knew the lost of him was going to be painful but I didn't think excruciatingly painful. I can usually handle pain quite well but this is one pain I can not handle. So tomorrow I am definitely going to spending most of the whole day in my MJ shrine bedroom. In my bed asleep it is really the only way it is going to keep me from thinking what day it really is. Even though I am going to be a real mess when 6:30 pm comes tomorrow. :sad: :boohoo:
 
*Billie Jean* said:
I am sitting here crying over Michael again. I am missing him more than ever right now. I just don't know how to move forward. I am almost afraid to put my thoughts into words. I feel like I am waiting for my turn to die.. so that I can be with him. The thought brings tears to my eyes, but the pain of living without him is just so unbearable sometimes. This all hurts so much that I don't know how much more of it I can bear without him here. I am trying to survive... But I am not doing a very good job. I just want to hold Michael. I want to feel his heartbeat. I want to look into his brown eyes. I know it will never happen though. :weeping: I am so sad right now. I really hate living. Every day is torture. I can't stand it anymore.
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:huggy: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
I'm not quite sure if this forum is making things better or worse...there's just so much L.O.V.E. and beautiful thoughts at the moment I can't read anything without crying. :cry: But I guess it's better to be here instead of crying alone :mello:
Big hugs to everyone :huggy:
Let's try to stay strong for Michael :heart:
 
*Billie Jean* said:
I am sitting here crying over Michael again. I am missing him more than ever right now. I just don't know how to move forward. I am almost afraid to put my thoughts into words. I feel like I am waiting for my turn to die.. so that I can be with him. The thought brings tears to my eyes, but the pain of living without him is just so unbearable sometimes. This all hurts so much that I don't know how much more of it I can bear without him here. I am trying to survive... But I am not doing a very good job. I just want to hold Michael. I want to feel his heartbeat. I want to look into his brown eyes. I know it will never happen though. :weeping: I am so sad right now. I really hate living. Every day is torture. I can't stand it anymore.
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:hug: We are all here for you
 
I just wish I could fast forward to Saturday.I'm dreading tomarrow.Physically sick.A year later,and I've still not accepted it.It's so tiring,but it's how I feel.I just can't imagine a world without Michael, it's like the joy has been sucked out of my world.There will always be a piece of me missing.I would have given anything to take his pain away.Anything.That's what hurts me the most,that he suffered so much time and time again,why?Why should he have gone through so much in his life?The kindest,sweetest human being ever.How I wish I could just for a minute hug him,and tell him I love him.My heart breaks at how he was going through so much on the inside,but never once lashed out and always had that beautiful smile on his face,no matter what.I know that he's in a better place,away from this cruel,terrible world and he's no longer in pain,but I still feel empty.I'm so,so grateful for places like this where everyone understands my feelings,and can relate.It's so hard not having too many people around you in your life, who don't feel the same.Hugs to everyone. (((HUGS)))
 
It's just great to see all of you here. I remember thinking some weeks after Michael's passing that next year I will be all alone in this.... that this forum and others will have been closed or not enough people will be around. But so many of you are still here and that means so much to me... so so much. I know now we're so many that love this man and always will do, and togehter we can do so much.
 
MJsBollywoodGirl7 said:
Ever since I had gotten the worst news ever on June 25th at 6:30 pm last year. My old life that I once had just forever died with Michael. The second I had saw the years 1958-2009 on my tv screen. I was once a very happy person who used to really L.O.V.E. life. But it is not like that for me anymore. I can never ever feel happy ever again. That is the one feeling that I really miss and crave the most. But happiness as well as other feelings like that are feelings now I can no longer feel or process. All happiness type feelings has been forever ripped out of me the second I had gotten the news. Now all I feel now is sadness, misery, and deep depression. Because of that depression I am still very much in. I still tend to have suicidal thoughts even now. I have been suffering from clinical depression ever I had gotten the one news I thought I will never have to hear until maybe 30 years or so later. Never did I thought at the age of 29 (I am 30 now) that I will lose the only person that I had ever truly L.♥.V.E. the most in the entire world. I have been a Michael Jackson fan ever since the early 80s. And the one thing I have been finding myself doing something that I thought I will never do. Is questioning myself of why I had to become a fan of his in the first place. I so wish I could go back 25 years ago. And if someone back then would have show me through a crystal ball. Just how painful the lost of Michael Jackson was going to be. I would have never ever stay a fan of his this long. I knew the lost of him was going to be painful but I didn't think excruciatingly painful. I can usually handle pain quite well but this is one pain I can not handle. So tomorrow I am definitely going to spending most of the whole day in my MJ shrine bedroom. In my bed asleep it is really the only way it is going to keep me from thinking what day it really is. Even though I am going to be a real mess when 6:30 pm comes tomorrow. :sad: :boohoo:
Click to expand...

I use to be such a "giddy" person but after Michael died it's nothing but depression and sadness. Granted I was dealing with Michael's death a little better for the past 4 months, but seeing how it's going to be June 25th, all the new documentaries and everything going on in the media, the wounds are re-opened again.

I haven't stop crying since I saw Latoya in Animal Planet doing that special about bubbles.

Fuck. When will the pain go away?

Don't do anything to harm yourself. I too suffer from depression (am on Prozac for that and OCD for the past year after Michael died) and all I can think is that Michael would never want us to harm ourselves. We need to stay alive.

PM me if you want. Do you have a facebook? So we can stay in touch.

Same goes for everyone here on this thread.


*Billie Jean* said:
I am sitting here crying over Michael again. I am missing him more than ever right now. I just don't know how to move forward. I am almost afraid to put my thoughts into words. I feel like I am waiting for my turn to die.. so that I can be with him. The thought brings tears to my eyes, but the pain of living without him is just so unbearable sometimes. This all hurts so much that I don't know how much more of it I can bear without him here. I am trying to survive... But I am not doing a very good job. I just want to hold Michael. I want to feel his heartbeat. I want to look into his brown eyes. I know it will never happen though. :weeping: I am so sad right now. I really hate living. Every day is torture. I can't stand it anymore.
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I am crying with you :hug: :sad: :cry:

I wish there was a 1-800 hotline for us. I swear to god we need one.
 
It just reminds me that the 1st worst year of my life is over and another one begins. God knows how many more is there to come.
 
Miss_star said:
:huggy: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Tsukiji said:
:hug: We are all here for you
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prettygirlmj said:
I am crying with you :hug: :sad: :cry:

I wish there was a 1-800 hotline for us. I swear to god we need one.
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Thank you. :huggy:

I am crying again. I miss him so much. I hate life without him. I've cried every day since he died but today the tears just have not stopped. It feels like a grey blanket of sadness and I just hate this life without him. :weeping:
 
I have had a difficult time today as it is the 25th where I am but being here on MJJC has helped me to express some of my feelings. I have always had a fear since Michael passed away that he would over time be forgotten, fade away I guess as combs already stated. I know it is a strange feeling to have but the thought of people forgetting Michael and all he stood for frightens me so much.

I can't believe it has been a year without Michael my world changed when he died and I know I will never get over the loss of him!!
 
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