cryingangel
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  • How are you coping with Michael's death now? Are you doing much better than before?
    I know that visually it seems rather cruel to break up with a man when he is ill. Even I was rather uncomfortable to agree with his request to break up with him - in this kind of situation. But it was his request as both of us can't fulfill our promises for our future.

    It's hard but it was something that needs to be done.

    However it doesn't mean that I no longer care and will not be there for him as we will continue to be close friends.
    My ex? Ah, he told me that he was going to go to a hospital to treat his leg few days ago but then he did not. He told me that he waited for hours at the hospital and eventually gave up. He also said that the fee is too high and he can't afford to pay them.
    Ah, you ex sounds adorable but I understand the "says a lot of things" part. Yes, sometimes we thought this person would be better as a boyfriend but then realize he is better as a friend.

    I salute to any couple who can break up and still remain as friends. That is kind of rare.
    I tried my best not to crack a hillarious smile at the time. Inside I went, "Gaydar you have failed me" lol

    Again as a gent, he insisted that I walked out from the elevator first.

    As we walked out from the building, I introduced myself and shook his hand. He shook back and introduced himself as Nicholas. Then he stormed out as he was chasing time to go to his college. But suddenly he turned back to smile and babble something again that I couldn't hear. I only managed to catch the last part, which was, "Nice to meet you man" or "see you around man".

    He left me confused. lol

    He was the one who started the whole smiling coyly thing. Now I don't know if he is gay or not. Maybe bi. Maybe straight. But on the safe side, I think I am going to stamp his forehead as straight now lol.

    But anyway, it's good to make a new friend.
    The next day he continued to smile even though I didn't. lol

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    Last Friday we ended up waiting for an elevator to go home together. So we a short chat whilst waiting. I asked what he was studying.

    The elevator opened and he insisted that I entered first. Okay, what a gent.

    Then we continued to chat. Actually he conquered most of the chat. Very talkative guy. Then out nowhere, he sputtered, "I have a boy. But I'm doing okay whist studying."

    I blinked. lol
    Hi Kate sorry for the late reply.

    This is the second version as I accidentally closed down my browser when I wrote the first version.

    Let see how should I start this. lol

    --------------------------------------------------------------

    Few days ago, I had a short chat with him when he was about to leave his office to go home. It was by accident actually.

    I was heading to the gents room at the time. I didn't realize that he was behind me. I heard his voice, "...Hello, how are you?"

    I didn't expect it. But I tried not to panic.

    "I'm good." I replied. "Are you heading home?"

    He said no. Apparently he is studying for MBA at a nearby college after work. Then he went mumbling how he was doing fine studying and working at the same time.

    I just nodded and went, "Ah, yes, yes...okay."

    Then both of us said goodbye.
    M
    Kate,

    It's okay not to reply. I understand.

    Besides the reason why I babbled about my 'social life' in a way is to distract myself from feeling depressed with Michael's death.

    But speaking of Michael, man, I never expected there will be so much love for Michael in Malaysia. He pretty much conquers every newspaper for multiple spreads and stories. His CDs are sold out as well.
    thankyou :hug: :hug:
    and that's amazing cause I was just remembering all the funny moments from the PHM where he made us laugh so much.
    thankyou :hug:
    I just would like him to have a proper burial and people to respect and give him peacefulness. Leave his children alone.

    Michael's death (Still can't consume the d word too) just blankly odd. I am agnostic nowadays but God sure messes up and failed miserably this time.

    To tell you the truth, I'm still hoping for a miracle everyday. A sudden press conference with a doctor announcing that Michael suddenly awake from his coma/death. Sounds ridiculous but I don't know, when it comes to Michael, anything seems possible.
    It's always nice to have a bf but I'm not in the mood and don't feel its appropriate to have a bf right now. I don't feel its right to have a new bf when I still have an ex and my ex is ill but he broke up with me. My ex insisted that we have no future together although I disagree with him. He asked me to respect his request to break up with him. Either that or he will just disappear into thin air and stop communicating with me. I heavily obliged his request.

    Flirting is tempting but I should not go overboard. Friendship is all I'm looking for now.
    Next day same thing but I was busy reading newspaper. He came close to my office entrance, bowed a bit, nodded, smiled and walked away. I didn't see him coming as I was distracted by reading newspaper. I only saw him smile for a few seconds and didn't had time to smile back as he rushed to his office.

    He kept looking at me whilst waiting for elevator when he was going home. But wasn't smiling this time. Probably because I didn't smile at him that morning and during lunch time (as I was distracted with my work). I wanted to smile but for some reason, I was slightly nervous to do so.

    Maybe I am hallucinating this whole thing. lol
    Next day I was having a moody day due to job. Again I stared at him whilst he was waiting for elevator. Then I saw his face cracked into a small smile. But I wasn't sure. I continued to stare at him like a dumb guy. Then he nodded and smiled sheepishly. Then I went like, "Okay did he just smile?". Then he nodded again, smiled sheepishly again and rushed into the elevator.

    Next day I came early to work at 9.00. He usually came late at 10 something. But not that day, he arrived around 9.15 am. The elevator swung, he came out from it and automatically smiled at me whilst walking. I was still trying to confirm whether he was smiling. Then he nodded and cracked a big smile. I finally confirmed, "Yep, he's smiling." So I smiled back.
    Know about me being gay? Nah. He doesn't know I am gay. I don't know if he is gay. I never spoke to him before. I just used my uh, gaydar, which could probably be wrong.



    Pic Above: The only way he can go to his office is through passing by my office and I can see anything from my office since my office has huge glass door.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    It was actually like this.

    At first he didn't take notice. Hell, I didn't take notice either.

    Then one day he was waiting for elevator and I just stared at him from my desk. I had no idea why. I guess he eventually noticed but didn't do anything.
    I'm glad to be back and see some old friends once again. Although how I could wish I could return in a different circumstances instead of a death.

    I find his death to be bizarre and disturbing due to time, age and circumstances. Few weeks before a concert, darn it. I never thought that he would pass away before his other Motown seniors and no offence, his older siblings and his own parents.

    Take care Kate.
    I wrote a long message just now and my Firefox decided to close down.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Pfft, I'm a guy and even I don't understand my own species. lol

    Like I told LJ, there's an Aussie guy that constantly smiling at me. Not your usual smile. That coy flirty smile. Slightly geeky but a hunk as well. His office is right beside mine. Seems like a shy and friendly guy. Six feet tall and successfully makes me feel like a midget.

    I don't know if he is gay though. Seems like one.

    Nonetheless I am not ready to go steady again. My ex just broke up with me -officially- on last March. But I don't mind friendship. Nothing more than that. At least not for the time being.

    I didn't tell my ex about this though as I don't want to disrespect and dishearten him.
    I managed to pull myself together yesterday but today, I am somewhat miserable. I can't consume Michael's death into my mind.

    I am not in the mood to talk to anyone in the real life unless if its really necessary.

    Michael's death has left a big hole in me. It feels like losing a best friend, big brother and a family member.

    Just like I've mentioned to LJ, my boyfriend has broke up with me. But we remained best friends and still talk to each other on Skype everyday. Although sometimes he hinted that he wants our relationship back. It's rather confusing but I respect the decision.

    I hope you are doing well in your personal and professional life too, Kate.
    I have no choice but to be ok, but yeah I am life got busy and that's always helpful... but now I'll want it to get super busy cause... damn when I stop and let my brain think I just keep thinking how crap it is
    Hey Kate,

    Long time no see. I'm sorry for not replying earlier before. I left MJJC to pursue further into my social life as well as my work.

    I returned due to Michael's death. I am stunned. I didn't expect Michael to go too soon and actually, I never thought that Michael Jackson would ever pass away as he is literally immortal in my eyes.

    Like other fans, I was sulky and had my shares of tears yesterday and today.

    I hope everyone stay strong facing this news.

    Hugs.

    Btw when is Michael Jackson's funeral?
    *sigh* i love these deep discussions. i'm going to give you a deserved constructive reply when i figure that question out for myself during the summer! i await your post-life-changing thoughts by then too,,,, not to sound too dreary that is =P

    seriously, i do wish you all the best because you truly deserve it.
    (damn this 1000 character limit, lol).......

    and Japanese?? wa hey. i'm really inept in the languages department, i admire folk who go on to study multiple cultures. let me try my Jap on you:

    トイレはどこですか。

    i think i said "nice to meet you". =P =P

    now i don't want to flatter you too much, but you sound like you have your head geared in the right place, and i think you'd be perfect for uni. it would be a whole new life, are you excited, scared or both about the whole process?
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