Hi Kate,
How are you doing? Hope you're doing well Kate.
Well I had a long discussion with Dylan yesterday. We have officially broke up.
He has proposed the idea since last week. But I couldn't accept it.
It is too difficult for him to live without me. 3 years of distant relationship. Waiting is painful.
I apologized to him for giving him too many promises that I haven't yet fulfilled.
Deep down we both still love each other but time does not permit us to be together.
But he asked if it's possible for us to stay friends. Best friends.
I said yes, it would be nice. But it takes time to face and accept the reality that he is no longer my man.
It is sad. I really believe that he is the one for me. Same thing for him as well.
I'm not sure how I can continue without thinking of him. Knowing that I still love him, that he is lonely and not doing well. Even though that I know he could possibly move on with his life without worries.
He has told me so many times that I have to find someone else. He said that I'm good looking etc that I do not need to worry to find someone else. I could care less about looks etc. I'm an old school type of guy who believes in one relationship till the end of life. To get married etc. To find Mr. Right. But a lot of gay guys just want to have fun to death.
Just to let you know Kate, I'm haven't been 'touched'. I'm saving myself for the one.
I joked at him that i should sell myself at Ebay or Amazon yesterday. We both laughed sadly.
But on a serious note, I once told him that if I cannot find the right one, then I shall stay virgin for the rest of my life.
I'm tired of falling in love.
But "What if". I still have hopes to be with Dylan. But I shall keep it quiet to myself and see where time will lead us both.
Regards,
JJ