I am really really sick. Asthma attacks are killing me. And I also have recently been diagnosed with anemia. And my doctor has told me I have a low white blood cell count. He has said that it could be because I have had a lot of infections recently, and the reason for my infections could be due to low white blood cell count. But I have all the signs of leukemia. I just don't know have to tell my family that I think I might have leukemia. Especially my grandmother who's sick and worries when something is wrong with some one in our family. I just don't know what to do. I have no energy and I cannot concentrate on anything. I feel like I'm dying..
Yeah, thats cool. Some Blackmore's Night songs reminds me of Michael. :depressed:
I feel the same exact way I am very angry that Michael's killer hasn't been arrested yet. My brother asked me yesterday if there was any news on the doctor who killed MJ. That hit me like a ton of bricks for some reason. He killed Michael and Michael is gone. :rantingIt's harder than I thought it would be. Actually I'm having a bad day today. For me it's getting worse with time, instead of better :sad: It still hasn't sunk in yet, I'm waiting for it to finally hit me, maybe after I've accepted it I'll be able to find things easier?
I just miss him so much, as time goes on the pit at the bottom of my stomach just keeps getting deeper and deeper :/
Thank God for this forum, all the people on here are the only ones keeping me sane!
I love Blackmore's night too. *-*
Today is not a good day. I was doing okay, but I'm back to being sick and depressed. It will never end. Michael was too much apart of my life and always will be. I will never get over him dying. :depressed: I've found out that if I stay away from MJ sites, I can make myself believe that it's a bad dream, and he's still alive. I know it's not the case, but it gives me comfort.
Glad to hear you are feeling at least a little bit better. Today I am listening only to MJ's music. Started hours ago, still going... Sometimes it is breaking my heart, depending on the song. I put them to play in random order, the first I got was "Morphine" :weeping: We are so powerless... We cannot save each other, we cannot turn back the time... We are coming and going... Daily life is hard and complicated sometimes....and trying to cope with Michael being dead on top of it......not easy.....
However, you are not alone and you know that...I hope you'll feel better soon. Big hugs and much love! :heart:
I completely understand. My heart aches... My head aches... I can't eat... I was looking at the sky hoping somewhere, in the middle of the clouds, Michael was going to appear. I'm so depressed too.. Have you tried therapy, or talking about your feelings? Sometimes we can bottle our emotions, and then we're left with a pressure-cooker situation where our emotions become too much to handle and sometimes the only way that they express themselves is anger or rage. When I'm sad or depressed I play piano. Often times music is my release when I'm going through a tough time. I also write poetry and paint. ...write a poem.. writing is good. ^^ sorry if that didn't help...
If you ever need anyone to talk to, you know where to find me. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere!
Just wanted to tell you that. You are never alone.