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  • Well, I do believe in God very much. And I am Catholic. But I pray constantly that God will take my life and free me from this feeling of pain that I can't escape. I'm tired of the pain, of being alone, I want to die. I lost my heart, and half of myself. My life has lost all meaning. I have just finished writing a letter to Michael. I feel very sad but I think it has helped me to write some of my feelings down, rather than keeping them inside. I want the pain to stop. But it just keeps on getting worse. I don't know what to do with myself. I eat once a day only because I'm forcing myself. I need to eat but I just don't have the energy or appetite for food. Yes, I have asthma. Sometimes I feel like I can never get a big enough breath, and I have to keep trying to inhale longer and deeper until I do-or I feel like I'm suffocating. I have an inhaler but it doesn't help much. And I can't breathe without Michael but I have to. I'm tears all over again. I cant take it anymore :weeping:
    I've seen the movie 12 times... I'm planning a few more yet. I couldn't breath and my heart was racing when he came on stage, it really caused so many different emotions. I cried like a baby. Every time I go and see the movie my heart breaks all over again. Seeing him, so beautiful, so perfect. And now he's not here anymore. It's not the concerts, it's that we lost perfection so soon. It's just so hard to deal with this and I feel so painful. When will the pain go away? I really can't stand it. I just want my baby back. :weeping::weeping::weeping:
    No better ... my heart still aches all the time. I am feeling empty its like a part of me died with him that afternoon of June 25th. Right now I'm not living, only existing. I feel like I'm about to faint.. Goodnight..
    I'm not feeling better. I am devastated. If it is getting worse I don't know what is gonna happen. I am really going crazy. I can't live without Michael... And I won't. :weeping:
    I agree with you and yeah, I'm feeling a bit embarrassed over my dismay. You're right and thank you. You're a sweet soul. Take care. :hug:
    No problem.
    Your post was really touchin :)

    I totally agree with what you said.
    I wish I can tell him how much he means to me, how much I miss him :cry:
    Michael knows his fans love him very much but he still feels very lonely deep inside his heart..and that hurts me.
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