Beliefs/Morals/Values vs SEX

Travis

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
4,372
Points
0
Location
USA
I'm about to go on a long ramble and I don't expect much support so bare with me...



So, I have been increasingly thinking about something. I've really noticed a decline in what I believe it be good moral values. Is it just me or has sex become the new handshake?

I come from a small town in Missouri. I was taught that sex was something special and you shouldn't just give it to anyone.

Falling in love with with my now husband and getting to know each other stirred many emotions in me and challenged the way I think and feel and how I was raised. At first, when I discovered things about him, I had to ask myself what I could live with and what I was willing to compromise. No, he isn't a bad person at all. He's wonderful. Just like all of us, he's made mistakes but in his case he didn't realize they were mistakes until he got with me. He actually feels shame for his past antics. I guess now that he's content he doesn't really know why he behaved the way he did other than being young and stupid (his words, not mine).

Moving to California I have met so many shady types, but it seems to be so commonly accepted. No one gets married anymore (or worse they do get married but have open relationships which defeats the purpose all together). Hookups are the norm and encouraged. Graigslist is a place where you put up sex ads, selling your body right along with a lamp shade (or soul if you ask me). The internet is a blessing in many ways but also a breeding ground for filth. Now all the pervs have a way to organize and spread. In many ways it's the decline of our civilization as we know it. As much good as it does it can do twice the damage.

I realize the world is a big place and I didn't grow up under a rock but it seems like no one cares about their own bodies and health anymore. It's all wham bam thank you mam. I'm not blaming anyone. I'm not trying to say anyone is bad. I'm really not. This is all just my personal views from what I've experienced.

There seems to be a real disconnect between sex and emotion. I think with the rise of mainstream sexuality and internet porn/hookup sites that many have lost their ability to connect and love. It's harder now. We get our just desserts first and then don't want to take the time to know the person afterward. I think that's why more and more people remain single. I think that's part of why so many people get divorced. They don't know how to hang in there and love one another unconditionally. They're so used to getting the lovin' and then leavin'.

I don't expect anyone to wait to have sex until marriage, but at the same time I wish people had a little more decency and respect when it comes to sex and their own bodies. I wish people had higher priorities for themselves. I wish sex wasn't the common denominator. No, sex isn't bad. It's actually really great. I just think it's better when it's with someone you love or care for in some capacity. As much as people like to say it, no, we are NOT animals and no we shouldn't be humping everything in sight like a common dog.

It might seem odd coming from a Madonna fan but just because I admire someone who is a sexual icon doesn't mean that's who I am as a person. I am a multi-faceted individual and sex is a part of that but not who I am. I am certainly not defined by my sexuality. I guess it may seem like a contradiction and maybe it is. I dunno. I don't think anyone is evil for exploring their sexuality but at the same time I don't think it's good to become a drive-thru window. There needs to be some sort of balance.

I guess I'm just old fashioned. An old romantic who believes and wants love and emotion over cheap and tawdry sex. I'm not expecting much support with this topic. I've spent most of my time at forums being chastised for my beliefs. I couldn't count how many times I've been called a prude and told to come in to the modern world where my beliefs/values/morals are concerned. Usually I am told that I am so against scandalous sex acts like threesomes simply because I've never experienced it. No, I assure that's not why. I am against those things because I couldn't live with myself had I ever done such a thing.

I guess I don't fit in and never will. So has been my life. If being modern and with the in crowd means supporting and being involved in sex parties (orgies), having friends with benefits, or fulfilling my sexual desires with the click of a mouse, then I'll gladly remain a wallflower.

I was raised with too much self respect. I realize right and wrong isn't always black and white, but then again not everything should be gray.

I do believe in live and let live. I would never try to tell anyone what is right or wrong for them. This is just my own personal view. I never judge the people around me or try to make them feel bad. This is just something that stews inside of me. It's life experiences and observations I have made since my move.

As a gay man this may seem odd or contradictory since so many condemn gays and consider my life sinful and damning but I guess that's part of my frustration. Yes, I'm gay, but I do have high standards. I don't sleep around nor would I ever. I don't believe in multiple sex partners. None of that stuff is for me and unfortunately I get grouped in with stereotypes about what it is to be gay. Or rather, what misinformed people think it is that us gays do.

I guess I just long for the days when people connected on a higher level.

Have fun and live your life, just be safe and take care of yourself.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.

P.S. I think my beliefs are much of the reason why MJ was/is so appealing to me. I could sense the innocence. I felt like he and I could relate. I often felt so lonely and like I didn't belong on so many levels growing up.
 
Last edited:

billyworld99

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
2,021
Points
0
I'm about to go on a long ramble and I don't expect much support so bare with me...



So, I have been increasingly thinking about something. I've really noticed a decline in what I believe it be good moral values. Is it just me or has sex become the new handshake?

I come from a small town in Missouri. I was taught that sex was something special and you shouldn't just give it to anyone.

Falling in love with with my now husband and getting to know each other stirred many emotions in me and challenged the way I think and feel and how I was raised. At first, when I discovered things about him, I had to ask myself what I could live with and what I was willing to compromise. No, he isn't a bad person at all. He's wonderful. Just like all of us, he's made mistakes but in his case he didn't realize they were mistakes until he got with me. He actually feels shame for his past antics. I guess now that he's content he doesn't really know why he behaved the way he did other than being young and stupid (his words, not mine).

Moving to California I have met so many shady types, but it seems to be so commonly accepted. No one gets married anymore. Hookups are the norm and encouraged. Graigslist is now a place where you can put up ads and essentially sell your body (or soul if you ask me). The internet is a blessing in many ways but also a breeding ground for filth. Now all the pervs have a way to organize and spread.

I realize the world is a big place and I didn't grow up under a rock but it seems like no one cares about their own bodies and health anymore. It's all wham bam thank you mam. I'm not blaming anyone. I'm not trying to say anyone is bad. I'm really not. This is all just my personal opinions from what I've experienced.

There seems to be a real disconnect between sex and emotion. I think with the rise of mainstream sexuality and internet porn/hookup sites that many have lost their ability to connect and love. It's harder now. We get our just desserts first and then don't want to take the time to know the person afterward. I think that's why more and more people remain single.

I don't expect anyone to wait to have sex until marriage, but at the same time I wish people had a little more decency and respect when it comes to sex and their own bodies. I wish people had higher priorities for themselves. I wish sex wasn't the common denominator. No, sex isn't bad. It's actually really great. I just think it's better when it's with someone you love or care for in some capacity. As much as people like to say it, no, we are NOT animals and no we shouldn't be humping everything in sight like a common dog.

It might seem odd coming from a Madonna fan but just because I admire someone who is a sexual icon doesn't mean that's who I am as a person. I am a multi-faceted individual and sex is a part of that but not who I am. I am certainly not defined by my sexuality. I guess it may seem like a contradiction and maybe it is. I don't think anyone is evil for exploring their sexuality but I also think it's good to become a drive-thru window.

I guess I'm just old fashioned. An old romantic who believes and wants love and emotion over cheap and tawdry sex. I'm not expecting much support with this topic. I've spent most of my time at forums being chastised for my beliefs. I couldn't count how many times I've been called a prude and told to come in to the modern world where my beliefs/values/morals are concerned.

Well, I'm sorry. I can't. If being modern and with the in crowd means supporting and being involved in sex parties (orgies), having friends with benefits, or fulfilling my sexual desires with the click of a mouse, then I'll gladly remain old fashioned.

I was raised with too much self respect. I realize right and wrong isn't always black and white, but then again not everything should be gray.

I do believe in live and let live. I would never try to tell anyone what is right or wrong for them. This is just my own personal view. I never judge the people around me or try to make them feel bad. This is just something that stews inside of me. It's life experiences and observations I have made since my move.

As a gay man this may seem odd or contradictory since so many condemn my sexuality but I guess that's part of my frustration. Yes, I'm gay, but I do have high standards. I didn't sleep around nor would I ever. I don't believe in multiple sex partners. None of that stuff is for me and unfortunately I get grouped in with stereotypes about what it is to be gay. Or rather, what misinformed people think it is that us gays all do.

I guess I just long for the days when people connected on a higher level.

Have fun and live your life, just be safe and take care of yourself.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.

no i agree with you, i mean half of the girls at my highschool are pregnant and the unborn child's father bailed on them and it is special when you give yourself to the person who love and respect you for who you are, and i skeptical of getting marry to anyone in my state b/c we are the number one with the most sexually transmitted disease, and where i'm from teenagers have sex to prove that cool and being a virgin is embarrasing and sleeping with mulitple people who don't have a connection idk but that's justme
 

BillieJean84

Proud Member
Joined
Oct 29, 2004
Messages
3,039
Points
0
Location
USA
well its just all a matter of principles and what you were raised with. Thats your belief and thats great for you cause not too many girls nowadays wait for marriage, etc. Some girls just think its sex because they don't want to get emotionally involved. It just depends.
 

Travis

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
4,372
Points
0
Location
USA
well its just all a matter of principles and what you were raised with. Thats your belief and thats great for you cause not too many girls nowadays wait for marriage, etc. Some girls just think its sex because they don't want to get emotionally involved. It just depends.

Well, if you read my whole insane rambling you'd actually know that I'm a guy. A gay guy at that. Surprised? Yeah, I know, we're all supposed to be sexed up pervs who can't control ourselves.
 

raz2911

Proud Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2009
Messages
3,697
Points
48
Location
Blackburn, England
I find it very sad that this is the kind of world we live in, where sex and money rule the world !!!
I would never do anything like that with any of my girlfriends, I'm way too young. Most people in my school wouldn't agree with me though I'm affraid...
 

elusive moonwalker

Guest
So, I have been increasingly thinking about something. I've really noticed a decline in what I believe it be good moral values. Is it just me or has sex become the new handshake?

I come from a small town in Missouri. I was taught that sex was something special and you shouldn't just give it to anyone.
yeah i agree
 

kottur13

Proud Member
Joined
Oct 15, 2009
Messages
1,549
Points
0
My town or maybe even the whole county is full of whores. Damn them to hell.
 

xo_lola_xo

Proud Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2007
Messages
12,806
Points
0
I completely agree with you. Love is more important. I'm a virgin at 16 and I'm not even thinking about losing it any time soon. It's not important. Love and my career is.
 

Gyrl4MJ

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
218
Points
0
Location
Texas. USA
In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with any type of sex/relationships -- just as long as everybody consents. I could care less if 20 people want to have an orgy with each other. Or if two random people just want to have sex. If you want to wait for marriage, then it's okay. If you don't, then it's okay too. I have no right to say when or how you should have sex. It's your sex life.

Like you said, have fun and take care of yourself :yes:
 

suzynyc

Proud Member
Joined
Aug 31, 2009
Messages
3,857
Points
0
Location
Brooklyn/Manhattan, NY
Part of it is the media. You can't take a step outside without being bombarded with sexual images. Go to a movie theater...sex. Turn on the TV...sex. Turn on the radio...sex. Open a magazine...sex. And most of it gratuitous. So young people (even adults) see this stuff and think "I should be doing that too".
 

sunny2

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
22
Points
0
This is just a random thought, but you asked has sex become the new handshake. That took me back to the sixties (yeah, I'm older) when there was a saying that went "sex is nature's way of saying 'hi' ". It seems like all the weirdness that went on then has recycled back to now. In my opinion, taking that route will eventually result in a train-wrecked life. Staying true to yourself will lead to happiness.
 

BillieJean84

Proud Member
Joined
Oct 29, 2004
Messages
3,039
Points
0
Location
USA
Well, if you read my whole insane rambling you'd actually know that I'm a guy. A gay guy at that. Surprised? Yeah, I know, we're all supposed to be sexed up pervs who can't control ourselves.


Oh well I meant in general - it was not directed to you specifically....
 

Travis

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
4,372
Points
0
Location
USA
Oh well I meant in general - it was not directed to you specifically....

No problem.

And I want to make it clear that I am not judging or condemning anyone. Our personal lives and decisions are just that, personal. No one has the right to make anyone else feel less than over differences of opinion/moral upbringing.

I personally have done many things in the past that I am not proud of and wish I could change, but alas, I can't and so therefore had to learn from it and improve myself as best as possible. We live and we learn.
 

Thriller_MJ

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
4,834
Points
63
Wow I thought I was the only Gay guy with respect for myself lol nice to know that I'm not, I just find it ridiculous all these people in open relationships are still sleeping around with other people when they already have a partner! It's like there sleeping with the whole town/city and acting like giant whores.
 

Travis

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
4,372
Points
0
Location
USA
Wow I thought I was the only Gay guy with respect for myself lol nice to know that I'm not, I just find it ridiculous all these people in open relationships are still sleeping around with other people when they already have a partner! It's like there sleeping with the whole town/city and acting like giant whores.

That's my biggest issue with the gay community or the perception of the gay community. We are portrayed us whores who will sleep around with anything and aren't capable of a stable relationship. That may be true with some, just as with heteros, but that doesn't and shouldn't represent us all. I refuse to be lumped in to a group with those types. I have too much respect for myself and my body and the person I choose to share my life with (not to mention that type of risque behavior is the reason HIV/AIDS and other diseases spread so rapidly).

The whole "open relationship/marriage" mumbo jumbo is something that is growing not just among the gay population, but straight as well. I don't understand the concept at all. If you love someone so much and want to be with him/her, why would you sleep with someone else or share your loved one with another? You have no sense of attachment? No loyalty? Not even jealousy at the thoughts of someone else having their paws on your man? It's just so... creepy. It totally defeats the purpose of a relationship or marriage in my opinion. It's especially bad in my eyes if you're married like myself. If you aren't content with one person, stay single, and sleep around all you want. Don't deface marriage because of your out of control libido.

I love my husband with all my heart. I would never dream of cheating on him. I don't even talk or lust after other men. That's how much I am in to him and love him. No fantasies. I'm not saying it's wrong to have fantasies but I simply don't because I'm that content. Plus, I would feel like I was disrespecting him and our relationship together. If he ever told me he wanted an open relationship I would send him packing. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't know what he wants from life and love. Someone who wants his cake and eat it too is not for me.

I know there are those who believe us to be animals like any other and are meant to be with lots of people, but I don't believe that at all. We aren't just like any other animal on the planet. You can look at it scientifically or religiously. Take your pick. What separates us is our hearts and minds. We think and feel like no other creature. We were given those greatly perceptive tools for a reason. Humping everything in sight like a dog that doesn't know any better is shameless imho. The whole "I'm a guy, it's what we do" bs doesn't work with me.

DISCLAIMER (cuz you can't express yourself freely these days): I don't expect anyone to agree with me and I am not personally judging anyone. These are my feelings. My beliefs.
 
Last edited:

Sdeidjs

Proud Member
Joined
Feb 7, 2008
Messages
3,805
Points
0
Location
Ohio
I'm about to go on a long ramble and I don't expect much support so bare with me...



So,
I have been increasingly thinking about something. I've really noticed a decline in what I believe it be good moral values. Is it just me or has sex become the new handshake?

I come from a small town in Missouri. I was taught that sex was something special and you shouldn't just give it to anyone.

Falling in love with with my now husband and getting to know each other stirred many emotions in me and challenged the way I think and feel and how I was raised. At first, when I discovered things about him, I had to ask myself what I could live with and what I was willing to compromise. No, he isn't a bad person at all. He's wonderful. Just like all of us, he's made mistakes but in his case he didn't realize they were mistakes until he got with me. He actually feels shame for his past antics. I guess now that he's content he doesn't really know why he behaved the way he did other than being young and stupid (his words, not mine).

Moving to California I have met so many shady types, but it seems to be so commonly accepted. No one gets married anymore (or worse they do get married but have open relationships which defeats the purpose all together). Hookups are the norm and encouraged. Graigslist is a place where you put up sex ads, selling your body right along with a lamp shade (or soul if you ask me). The internet is a blessing in many ways but also a breeding ground for filth. Now all the pervs have a way to organize and spread. In many ways it's the decline of our civilization as we know it. As much good as it does it can do twice the damage.

I realize the world is a big place and I didn't grow up under a rock but it seems like no one cares about their own bodies and health anymore. It's all wham bam thank you mam. I'm not blaming anyone. I'm not trying to say anyone is bad. I'm really not. This is all just my personal views from what I've experienced.

There seems to be a real disconnect between sex and emotion. I think with the rise of mainstream sexuality and internet porn/hookup sites that many have lost their ability to connect and love. It's harder now. We get our just desserts first and then don't want to take the time to know the person afterward. I think that's why more and more people remain single. I think that's part of why so many people get divorced. They don't know how to hang in there and love one another unconditionally. They're so used to getting the lovin' and then leavin'.

I don't expect anyone to wait to have sex until marriage, but at the same time I wish people had a little more decency and respect when it comes to sex and their own bodies. I wish people had higher priorities for themselves. I wish sex wasn't the common denominator. No, sex isn't bad. It's actually really great. I just think it's better when it's with someone you love or care for in some capacity. As much as people like to say it, no, we are NOT animals and no we shouldn't be humping everything in sight like a common dog.

It might seem odd coming from a Madonna fan but just because I admire someone who is a sexual icon doesn't mean that's who I am as a person. I am a multi-faceted individual and sex is a part of that but not who I am. I am certainly not defined by my sexuality. I guess it may seem like a contradiction and maybe it is. I dunno. I don't think anyone is evil for exploring their sexuality but at the same time I don't think it's good to become a drive-thru window. There needs to be some sort of balance.

I guess I'm just old fashioned. An old romantic who believes and wants love and emotion over cheap and tawdry sex. I'm not expecting much support with this topic. I've spent most of my time at forums being chastised for my beliefs. I couldn't count how many times I've been called a prude and told to come in to the modern world where my beliefs/values/morals are concerned. Usually I am told that I am so against scandalous sex acts like threesomes simply because I've never experienced it. No, I assure that's not why. I am against those things because I couldn't live with myself had I ever done such a thing.

I guess I don't fit in and never will. So has been my life. If being modern and with the in crowd means supporting and being involved in sex parties (orgies), having friends with benefits, or fulfilling my sexual desires with the click of a mouse, then I'll gladly remain a wallflower.

I was raised with too much self respect. I realize right and wrong isn't always black and white, but then again not everything should be gray.

I do believe in live and let live. I would never try to tell anyone what is right or wrong for them. This is just my own personal view. I never judge the people around me or try to make them feel bad. This is just something that stews inside of me. It's life experiences and observations I have made since my move.

As a gay man this may seem odd or contradictory since so many condemn gays and consider my life sinful and damning but I guess that's part of my frustration. Yes, I'm gay, but I do have high standards. I don't sleep around nor would I ever. I don't believe in multiple sex partners. None of that stuff is for me and unfortunately I get grouped in with stereotypes about what it is to be gay. Or rather, what misinformed people think it is that us gays do.

I guess I just long for the days when people connected on a higher level.

Have fun and live your life, just be safe and take care of yourself.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.

P.S. I think my beliefs are much of the reason why MJ was/is so appealing to me. I could sense the innocence. I felt like he and I could relate. I often felt so lonely and like I didn't belong on so many levels growing up.


Mr.Jackson sings it best...when HE shares in composition...HIS reflective thoughts about the very same subject matter posted in this thread...




Love Always

:angel:
 

Thriller_MJ

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
4,834
Points
63
That's my biggest issue with the gay community or the perception of the gay community. We are portrayed us whores who will sleep around with anything and aren't capable of a stable relationship. That may be true with some, just as with heteros, but that doesn't and shouldn't represent us all. I refuse to be lumped in to a group with those types. I have too much respect for myself and my body and the person I choose to share my life with (not to mention that type of risque behavior is the reason HIV/AIDS and other diseases spread so rapidly).

The whole "open relationship/marriage" mumbo jumbo is something that is growing not just among the gay population, but straight as well. I don't understand the concept at all. If you love someone so much and want to be with him/her, why would you sleep with someone else or share your loved one with another? You have no sense of attachment? No loyalty? Not even jealousy at the thoughts of someone else having their paws on your man? It's just so... creepy. It totally defeats the purpose of a relationship or marriage in my opinion. It's especially bad in my eyes if you're married like myself. If you aren't content with one person, stay single, and sleep around all you want. Don't deface marriage because of your out of control libido.

I love my husband with all my heart. I would never dream of cheating on him. I don't even talk or lust after other men. That's how much I am in to him and love him. No fantasies. I'm not saying it's wrong to have fantasies but I simply don't because I'm that content. Plus, I would feel like I was disrespecting him and our relationship together. If he ever told me he wanted an open relationship I would send him packing. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't know what he wants from life and love. Someone who wants his cake and eat it too is not for me.

I know there are those who believe us to be animals like any other and are meant to be with lots of people, but I don't believe that at all. We aren't just like any other animal on the planet. You can look at it scientifically or religiously. Take your pick. What separates us is our hearts and minds. We think and feel like no other creature. We were given those greatly perceptive tools for a reason. Humping everything in sight like a dog that doesn't know any better is shameless imho. The whole "I'm a guy, it's what we do" bs doesn't work with me.

DISCLAIMER (cuz you can't express yourself freely these days): I don't expect anyone to agree with me and I am not personally judging anyone. These are my feelings. My beliefs.

I'm fully with you 100% I am only 20 years old myself but people expect me to have as much "fun" as possible like to totally give my body away to the first person that hits on me well that aint gonna happen anytime soon I love myself too much to give myself away so freely so someone who doesn't even deserve my love or attention and just wants to get in my Pants.
 

D.Electric

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
681
Points
0
Location
London
and i thought surrey was so nice lol

Unfortunatly not, I moved here 18 months ago and all Ive witnessed is rich kids buying drugs and booze with Daddy's money before crawling on top of each other.

To be honest, you get that everywhere in England, just not Daddys money.
 

D.Electric

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
681
Points
0
Location
London
Travis, believe it or not, I agree with on this one (I know, I know, shocker).

Now, I have no idea what goes on across the pond. But in terms of sexual relations, Im disgusted by my country.

The U.K has the highest rate of teenage pregnancies in Europe, and STD's are on a constant increase, in particular females under the age of 20, bear the burden of sexually transmitted infections, with an estimated one in ten contracting chlamydia before they reach 19.

But why is this? I have a few theories... Firstly, look at the generations in UK families. My grandparents were married for nearly sixty years before my grandmother died, both my parents however, are on their fourth marriages and both of them have had affairs. I find that to be the case in many of my peers families (age range of 27-35).

Whilst our parents will have been raised with both mother and father married, they will have witnessed the hard of times in marriage as well as the good. In living through the awful moments with their parents, they may have wondered 'whats the point? I never want to go through that.'

It is my belief that marriage then became a throw away document with no meaning or sanctity. When our parents generation found marriage difficult they simply jumped ship, especially with divorce becoming easier and with less of a stigma attached to it. What our parents didnt realise, is that riding out the bad and fighting the fights is what made a marriage strong and less likely to fall apart. I truly believe that the money focused, materialistic vibe of the 80's made people very selfish and self centred, which will have also contributed to a lack of commitment when times got tough.

So, what hope do the youth of today have with this example? That marriage is nothing but a piece of paper weak enough to be subjected to a £10 shredder by some suit from 'Discount Divorce Lawyers 4 U'.

Sexual content is readily available to our children on the internet..and worse, they are subjected to it every day in our media and advertising. Sex has become an every day social activity.

We dress our toddlers and children to look like 'sex bombs' in provocative clothing, and then are surprised when the local paedophile comes knocking (sorry if that offends anyone, but its true). We subject them to games and movies based on violence and sex. sometimes combined - Grand theft auto anyone? I was once horrified to find a friends 8 year old son killing a prostitute on that game. Ive also been shocked to see another friends five year old little girl dancing like a stripper to a Pussy Cat Dolls video...she was just copying the ladies on the TV screen.

Family is no longer a unit, children have no support system and the majority of the time will have to grow up very quickly, learning things for themselves. There is minimal sexual education in schools, and parents today are too busy with work or social lives to listen to their children or teach them good values.

I have so many other theories, but perhaps Ill share them another time.

Personally, my body is for my partner, and my partner only. When we marry, it will be forever, no pussying out at the first or 100th hurdle... and above all, our marriage will be about love and respect, something very much lacking in todays society.

I am constantly find myself shocked at the, often public, behaviour of our generation when it comes to sex. Seriously, if Im in a club - Im there to have a drink and socialise, not watch you 'bump and grind' with some bloke against the bar, or witness the sounds of your illegitimate childs conception whilst Im having a piss.


I disagree with you on one note, but only because I want to be difficult ;) ...

to me sex is not personal, it is sacred to two people... and should be kept that way, not shared...either vocally or physically.
 
Last edited:

Travis

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
4,372
Points
0
Location
USA
Travis, believe it or not, I agree with on this one (I know, I know, shocker).

Now, I have no idea what goes on across the pond. But in terms of sexual relations, Im disgusted by my country.

The U.K has the highest rate of teenage pregnancies in Europe, and STD's are on a constant increase, in particular females under the age of 20, bear the burden of sexually transmitted infections, with an estimated one in ten contracting chlamydia before they reach 19.

But why is this? I have a few theories... Firstly, look at the generations in UK families. My grandparents were married for nearly sixty years before my grandmother died, both my parents however, are on their fourth marriages and both of them have had affairs. I find that to be the case in many of my peers families (age range of 27-35).

Whilst our parents will have been raised with both mother and father married, they will have witnessed the hard of times in marriage as well as the good. In living through the awful moments with their parents, they may have wondered 'whats the point? I never want to go through that.'

It is my belief that marriage then became a throw away document with no meaning or sanctity. When our parents generation found marriage difficult they simply jumped ship, especially with divorce becoming easier and with less of a stigma attached to it. What our parents didnt realise, is that riding out the bad and fighting the fights is what made a marriage strong and less likely to fall apart. I truly believe that the money focused, materialistic vibe of the 80's made people very selfish and self centred, which will have also contributed to a lack of commitment when times got tough.

So, what hope do the youth of today have with this example? That marriage is nothing but a piece of paper weak enough to be subjected to a £10 shredder by some suit from 'Discount Divorce Lawyers 4 U'.

Sexual content is readily available to our children on the internet..and worse, they are subjected to it every day in our media and advertising. Sex has become an every day social activity.

We dress our toddlers and children to look like 'sex bombs' in provocative clothing, and then are surprised when the local paedophile comes knocking (sorry if that offends anyone, but its true). We subject them to games and movies based on violence and sex. sometimes combined - Grand theft auto anyone? I was once horrified to find a friends 8 year old son killing a prostitute on that game. Ive also been shocked to see another friends five year old little girl dancing like a stripper to a Pussy Cat Dolls video...she was just copying the ladies on the TV screen.

Family is no longer a unit, children have no support system and the majority of the time will have to grow up very quickly, learning things for themselves. There is minimal sexual education in schools, and parents today are too busy with work or social lives to listen to their children or teach them good values.

I have so many other theories, but perhaps Ill share them another time.

Personally, my body is for my partner, and my partner only. When we marry, it will be forever, no pussying out at the first or 100th hurdle... and above all, our marriage will be about love and respect, something very much lacking in todays society.

I am constantly find myself shocked at the, often public, behaviour of our generation when it comes to sex. Seriously, if Im in a club - Im there to have a drink and socialise, not watch you 'bump and grind' with some bloke against the bar, or witness the sounds of your illegitimate childs conception whilst Im having a piss.


I disagree with you on one note, but only because I want to be difficult ;) ...

to me sex is not personal, it is sacred to two people... and should be kept that way, not shared...either vocally or physically.

Great post. I agree with you on many points. There's nothing in particular that I don't agree with.

I feel that we have progressed so far and yet lost ourselves in the shuffle. It's all consume, consume, consume. We eat up this and that until we get our fill and then spit it out and move on to the next new thing. Our attention spans have shortened and our hearts shrunken.

The modern age with our technology has brought us out of touch with humanity. You don't have two say two words to one another to hop in the sack. With a click of a mouse you can have yourself a one night stand. Even a bar is better than that!

I know the world has never been perfect, but I miss the days when love was considered and taught to be more important than anything else. Now it's all about being selfish. We're supposed to go out and use others to get what we need and then move on. Love and marriage is no longer in fashion or relative.

I know I'm old fashioned, but I'm proud of that. I'm so thankful that my love changed the way my husband felt about himself and his ways. I never condemned him for his past relationships but us being together brought a change within himself and he no longer could ever imagine doing the things that he once did. No, now, he feels remorse and wants to be better because he had never felt true love before. He thought he had, but he hadn't until he met me (which makes me feel so good inside).

I'm no miracle worker but I do love strong. I give of myself as much as I can. I have so much love inside of me and I could choose to spread it around if I wanted, but I don't. My heart and soul belong to one person, as it should be.
 

summer

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
6,003
Points
0
Great post/thread and I agree. It seemes like these days sleeping around is trendy and "cool" and also it seems that one should be in a relationship with someone at all times, and if not...there MUST be something wrong with you. Just look at MJ's life. Just because he wasn't seen with a woman ALL the time and just because he didn't have a player image people were calling him gay and a *I refuse to even type that word*. Anyone ever thought that maybe he had some morals and values which was why he maybe wasn't interested in being a "player"? Or maybe he just wanted to focus on his career and children and knew he wouldn't have "time" for a serious relationship (or he just hadn't found someone he could fall in love with) and wasn't interested in just being "eff buddies" with someone? Not saying any of that necessarily applies because I don't know what went on in his private life and it's not my business either...I'm just saying...it could have been possible...but it seems that not many people ever seemed to consider those aspects or wouldn't have even accepted those reasons IF they could have applied. It's like either you are married ...or a player...or if not, you MUST be gay or whatever. (And I don't mean "gay" as a bad thing...I just mean that if people don't see someone with the opposite sex at all times, the next thing in their minds is "gay"...or "asexual"...you know, like one just can't be NOT having some kind of relationship and sex at ALL times...).
 
Last edited:

MJKing985

Proud Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2011
Messages
144
Points
0
Location
New York, France
Great post/thread and I agree. It seemes like these days sleeping around is trendy and "cool" and also it seems that one should be in a relationship with someone at all times, and if not...there MUST be something wrong with you.


To respond generally about this statement though there is 2 things you should remember many people from this generation have sex because like you say it is "trendy" or "cool" thing to do and for some others it is mainly because it is addicting, i have heard many stories of people saying that they are addicted to it like a drug but simply can't control their urges.

personally i think everyone should lead their own lives how they want as long as it is done safely, people's sexual lives is none of my business. What i don't understand is why people are so concerned about what others are doing in their lives?
 

Travis

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
4,372
Points
0
Location
USA
To respond generally about this statement though there is 2 things you should remember many people from this generation have sex because like you say it is "trendy" or "cool" thing to do and for some others it is mainly because it is addicting, i have heard many stories of people saying that they are addicted to it like a drug but simply can't control their urges.

personally i think everyone should lead their own lives how they want as long as it is done safely, people's sexual lives is none of my business. What i don't understand is why people are so concerned about what others are doing in their lives?

No one is saying it's our business. Not a single one of us. No one is judging. We are simply a few people here with a common sentiment. Sharing our own personal thoughts. You either agree or disagree or are indifferent. It doesn't mean we are condemning anyone or are obsessed with other peoples love lives or lack thereof. This is about a lot of topics involving sex and how it effects people but not about judgment. Please get that straight.
 

Gina_Marie

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
234
Points
0
Location
Brooklyn, NY!
Interesting convo. I believe in morals, values as well as the saying "live and let live." I just wish it was all that simple, but unfortunately people resort to name-calling when someone is not seen with a significant other (weirdo, loner, etc..) and someone is harassed with names if they are seen with a significant other or others (whore, slut etc..). I've just started to hear the word poly-amorous...Whoa! Yes, we have morals and values, and perhaps a poly-amorous person has his own morals and values as to why he/she acts the way they do. But it would be wrong for me to say my values are better than his/hers because I don't agree.

Personally, I'm going through a situation right now where I'm dating this guy who feels we're at that point to "go there" in our relationship, and I can't knock him for feeling that way...but I tend to disagree. I'm at a point in my life where I'm practicing abstinence, but I really...really have strong feelings for this guy. So yeah, there's the pressure. But I'm still going try and stick with this until I'm ready, and if he wants to move on, so be it.

Anyway, as long as the person is doing what they want to do without any pressure then, kudos to them :) I'm glad people are different from you and I or else this world would be a very boring place. So, I say all that to say the ever so cliched "live and let live." This, my friends, is one of the trillion reasons why life is beautiful.

my two cents.
 
Last edited:

MJKing985

Proud Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2011
Messages
144
Points
0
Location
New York, France
No one is saying it's our business. Not a single one of us. No one is judging. We are simply a few people here with a common sentiment. Sharing our own personal thoughts. You either agree or disagree or are indifferent. It doesn't mean we are condemning anyone or are obsessed with other peoples love lives or lack thereof. This is about a lot of topics involving sex and how it effects people but not about judgment. Please get that straight.

i understand, but yes i feel indifferent about it, i mean the reason this was brought up is mainly because you feel there is a lack of emotional connect these day, I can certainly agree with that. What i don't agree with is the push to sexualize our society because everything from magazines,movies,ads etc is a form of manipulative way to get even the younger generation in the loop
 

ginvid

Proud Member
Joined
Oct 25, 2009
Messages
6,308
Points
0
Location
NYC
^^ I don't see how you can disagree that our society is heavily sexualized. Detrimentally so. When we see the constant breakdown of morality, we can look at a very common world power to see where it could lead: Rome.
 

144000

Proud Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
10,310
Points
0
Location
united states
i understand, but yes i feel indifferent about it, i mean the reason this was brought up is mainly because you feel there is a lack of emotional connect these day, I can certainly agree with that. What i don't agree with is the push to sexualize our society because everything from magazines,movies,ads etc is a form of manipulative way to get even the younger generation in the loop

u ever hear of Tom Leykis? he had sex at 13. and, there are men in high places that find ways to 'justify' having sex with children in the single digits, of age...

..i think there has to be a line drawn...somewhere...
 
Top