New Fan and Thoroughly Addicted to Everything About This Man!

zinniabooklover

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Now why would you do that! Just Give Into It and contribute your thoughts to that thread :p @MacMandy90 definitely set that thread on fire yesterday!

This man makes me want to learn how music is made, how videos are put together shot by shot. After hearing him talk about bass and beat and what not in the Dangerous deposition, I want to become a music engineer! Or a video producer. This is 20 years too late! But what an inspiration!!
Three things:

1 - Funny you should mention Give In To Me. One of my faves and I definitely loved it immediately and yet I did have a sort of 'give in to me' period with it. Not sure why but there was definitely a whole process of just, well, giving in. It was really interesting.

2 - Yeah, me as well. I wanna be a studio tech but also a pop music video editor. But I also wanna talk to Michael about all of this stuff. Just think how much he knows about all of this.

3 - er, no way. Are you kidding? You all stay over there doing your thing and I'll stay over here and sort out my laundry basket. It's safer!

It's a red-hot job but someone's gotta do it and you all volunteered. And the community is grateful. :D
 
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staywild23

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I'm posting this over here for safety. Feeling very nosy plus waiting for kettle to boil. Decided to hop over to Manhood thread to see what you all get up to over there. First thing I see is a photo posted by MacMandy90 at 10.18pm. Clearly from the Black Panther dance but not an image that I remember from the short film.

Um, it's kinda red-hot, girls. As in RED hot!

I'm going to step away carefully and leave you all to it.

As you were :D
3 - er, no way. Are you kidding? You all stay over there doing your thing and I'll stay over here and sort out my laundry basket. It's safer!

It's a red-hot job but someone's gotta do it and you all volunteered. And the community is grateful. :D

LMAO I will say...we have a great time on that thread... but I do often wonder what the rest of the community thinks of it, since there are only about 4 of us who are VERY active on there. Do you think others just quietly lurk and observe? I hope it doesn't put anyone off. It's just....undeniable! I truly can't help but bringing his sexiness up in almost any conversation about him on here. Somehow, it always comes back to that, despite the fact that I do very sincerely see him as sooo much more than that. He's just....ugh. So much to handle!

I do wish you would join in since you enjoy it, but I completely understand and am glad you appreciate it! It is ALWAYS extraordinarily hot over there. Michael continues to overwhelm all of us in the best possible way! As I've said a couple of times over there, I do not feel worthy but I am very grateful to him.
 

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This man makes me want to learn how music is made, how videos are put together shot by shot. After hearing him talk about bass and beat and what not in the Dangerous deposition, I want to become a music engineer! Or a video producer. This is 20 years too late! But what an inspiration!!
LOL I literally watched the deposition AGAIN like 2-3 nights ago while my husband was hanging out with a friend of his in another room. Later that night he asked me, "Did I seriously hear you watching the deposition AGAIN? Lawyers watch stuff like that." And I was like DO YOU KNOW HOW AMAZING THIS MAN IS?! lol he just laughed, because, of course I made him watch one of the compilation videos with me once and he was totally entranced too.

Anyway, yes, those depositions are amazing. As horrifying as they are. Something that struck me while watching the other night was that every year of Michael's life was packed with chaos. I mean, that was late 1993. He had performed in the SuperBowl earlier that year, did the Oprah interview, won the Legend Award at the Grammy's, went on world tour, met the Chandlers and then had the allegations thrown at him, AND while dealing with all of that, participated in multiple depositions of people claiming he stole their music. The year would end with the horrifying photoshoot by the LAPD and his livestream from Neverland....GOD I just can't stand it. I am sorry to bring this up in this thread, so feel free to ignore it if you want to.

It's just that when you consider the full context of Michael's life and the sheer chaos and stress of it, his behavior in the deposition is even more extraordinary. He is so kind, so humble, so gracious and sweet. He apologizes for coughing so much when he JUST HAD DENTAL SURGERY and performed THE NIGHT BEFORE...like, what?! How is he even human with how kind and polite he is all the time? I just marvel at everything he is all the time.
 

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It's just that when you consider the full context of Michael's life and the sheer chaos and stress of it, his behavior in the deposition is even more extraordinary. He is so kind, so humble, so gracious and sweet. He apologizes for coughing so much when he JUST HAD DENTAL SURGERY and performed THE NIGHT BEFORE...like, what?! How is he even human with how kind and polite he is all the time? I just marvel at everything he is all the time.
and one more thing lol...

The thing that strikes me about Michael all the time is how remarkably consistent he is. He is so consistently polite, kind, generous, patient, soft-spoken, sweet, etc. I mean, since he was a child. Since the earliest interviews of his career up until the latest. He is never anything but a sweetheart. Yes, you can feel tension in his voice sometimes and you can tell he gets upset here and there. But he has such a grounded sense of himself, I think. It's something I watch in him and just admire. Since becoming obsessed with him, I have thought many times about what of his many wonderful qualities I can strive for and one of them is just his quiet contemplation and his politeness, as well as his openness in talking about spreading love.
 

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I tend to believe that the genuine goodness of his heart sustained him through all of that chaos. If you have not done so already, listen to Dangerous deposition. We only have the audio, but he is lot more relaxed in it, much less prepped, so talking lot more.
 

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I tend to believe that the genuine goodness of his heart sustained him through all of that chaos. If you have not done so already, listen to Dangerous deposition. We only have the audio, but he is lot more relaxed in it, much less prepped, so talking lot more.

Oh I have! I think only once though. I also really enjoyed it, but don't remember it as well....guess that mean's I'll have to listen to it again! Too bad lol
 

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I tend to believe that the genuine goodness of his heart sustained him through all of that chaos. If you have not done so already, listen to Dangerous deposition. We only have the audio, but he is lot more relaxed in it, much less prepped, so talking lot more.
Currently listening to it and he is sooooo cuuuuuute omg. I’ve listened to this before but it’s been a few months. He’s so precious. I love his little chuckles and stuff. Also I’m not at the part with the female attorney yet but from what I remember it gets ridiculous lol.
 

zinniabooklover

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@staywild23

Plonking this over here so as not to clog up the picture threads more than I already have.

Bad era Michael and the light in his eye. I'm so glad you said this. This is going to sound ridiculous but it isn't just a case of 'the language to describe Michael hasn't yet been invented' (although I agree with that statement). It's more than that. For me it's also that, in trying to use existing language, I can't even get to first base. For example, I agree with you that in this era he's just glowing, radiating something awesome. When I look at him in the APOM video I see his eyes are just lit up. And I've always thought, 'oh Michael's eyes are really twinkling'. And I know that is the wrong word, not the word I want, it's not doing the job I need it to do. Twinkling. Just no. But that's the word I've always used because I literally couldn't find anything better than that.

You've offered up the words 'glowing' and 'radiating'. I mean, that's fairly normal, straightforward vocabulary. And yet I couldn't find it in my brain.

What is that? How does he scramble my brain like that? It's weird. No-one else scrambles my brain like that. What's going on?

You can see it in the APOM video but also in many photos from that era, as well. That spirit or energy or love or excitement or ... something. Maybe all of those things. But he's radiating them outwards. I mean, I get the whole energy exchange between a performer and the audience but this looks like something beyond even that.

The thing about him as a sex symbol. Can't remember where but out there somewhere in the ether there is a quote from Michael (from the 1980's, I think) where he says he feels embarrassed about being a sex symbol and can't think about it too much. I think he means it would do his head in if he focused on it. He says he gets embarrassed by the letters some fans send him and I believe him. Sounded like some of the letters were quite explicit. Personally I think it would be weird and kinda unpleasant to receive stuff like that. I'm sure he was flattered in general to be loved so much but I can't imagine him being all that comfortable with too much explicit stuff. I dunno. Maybe he was just being coy or playing the media game. But I don't think so. I think this quote was from the period when he was still in the JW church so that might have something to do with it.

I think he'd be OK with the Manhood thread. I've only seen a couple of pages but I haven't seen anything unpleasant on there.

I'm with Antwort on this. I'm not entirely comfortable with this aspect of Michael's life as a celebrity, tbh. I'm not sure it's even healthy to be on the receiving end of this type of attention. I'm not criticising anyone on the Manhood thread. At this stage, I don't think this is an issue anymore for obvious reasons. But I think if Michael was somewhat detached from that type of attention it was probably a protective thing he was doing. And that's good. I'm glad he knew how to instinctively protect himself.

Back to the language thing. Where are the words we need? Where are they to be found? What sort of words could encompass Michael? I have no idea.
 
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Hiker

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The thing about him as a sex symbol. Can't remember where but out there somewhere in the ether there is a quote from Michael (from the 1980's, I think) where he says he feels embarrassed about being a sex symbol and can't think about it too much. I think he means it would do his head in if he focused on it. He says he gets embarrassed by the letters some fans sen d him and I believe him. Sounded like some of the letters were quite explicit. Personally I think it would be weird and kinda unpleasant to receive stuff like that. I'm sure he was flattered in general to be loved so much but I can't imagine him being all that comfortable with too much explicit stuff. I dunno. Maybe he was just being coy or playing the media game. But I don't think so. I think this quote was from the period when he was still in the JW church so that might have something to do with it.
Totally agree with both of you about not being able to find words to describe Michael, not that I am someone who is good with words anyway. So I don't even try. He is also full of contradictions - sexy and cute at the same time, owns the stage like no one else but shy when speaking at the same time ..... I can keep going.
Though I would have to differ on the assessment that he did not like this type of attention. With full acknowledgement that you guys have been a fan much much longer than I have, so I am probably just being ignorant ..... but looking at the evolution of his dancing, on stage presence, I don't see him being reserved or trying to move attention away from his sexuality. The very explicit movements like crotch grabbing, hip movements, body rolls got bolder and bolder over time, even in TII Billie Jean. So in my opinion, he enjoyed even that part of the attention he got from his fans, and I also don't think there is anything wrong with it as long as he did not take advantage of such attention. Which based on what we know, he did not unlike many other rock stars. Its just one more way of connecting with fans.
 

zinniabooklover

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Totally agree with both of you about not being able to find words to describe Michael, not that I am someone who is good with words anyway. So I don't even try. He is also full of contradictions - sexy and cute at the same time, owns the stage like no one else but shy when speaking at the same time ..... I can keep going.
Though I would have to differ on the assessment that he did not like this type of attention. With full acknowledgement that you guys have been a fan much much longer than I have, so I am probably just being ignorant ..... but looking at the evolution of his dancing, on stage presence, I don't see him being reserved or trying to move attention away from his sexuality. The very explicit movements like crotch grabbing, hip movements, body rolls got bolder and bolder over time, even in TII Billie Jean. So in my opinion, he enjoyed even that part of the attention he got from his fans, and I also don't think there is anything wrong with it as long as he did not take advantage of such attention. Which based on what we know, he did not unlike many other rock stars. Its just one more way of connecting with fans.
Yeah, it's a tricky one, this. The quote I saw (it was a YT clip), I'm pretty sure it was from the 1980's and he def looked proper uncomfortable. Which seems reasonable. I'm sure over time he got more comfortable, he was away from the JW influence, even away from his Mum's influence up to a point.

Yep, his dancing got more explicit over time but he's in control. I think people sending you really explicit letters which you are not in control of is something different. I'm not gonna get into this too much cos I think Antwort has explained this much better than I could. I imagine it's entirely possible to enjoy the attention that you've sparked off in your audience but to not be so keen on being confronted with the explicit contents of someone's fantasy about you. He's very uninhibited and sexual onstage, and then, as we know, very different offstage. The guy in that photo that MM90 (or A&D, as I call her) found is absolutely comfortable with his sexual power. Whether he wants to read 200 letters detailing endless fantasies about where that display of sexual power led people's thoughts, I'm not so sure.

But who knows. And it's none of my business, anyway.

I'm the person who has fantasies about asking Michael what he thought of the backing vocals on one of my fave 1970's songs! :D
 

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I guess we will have to just agree to disagree on this one :) No one time after time perfects those kind of moves if they did not enjoy or were bothered by the off stage attention it brings. Take the panther dance for instance, I get the anger and the statement it was trying to make, but it is also very explicit in a sexual frustration way. It was choreographed, it did not just happen. I am not judging or implying in any way that Michael invited that attention or there was anything indecent in his behaviour, but I also don't think it made him too uncomfortable or he hated it, perhaps a healthy level of discomfort when fantasies went too far :)

..... and agree, who knows what's the truth and it is none of our business anyway. I won't complain about anything he brought on stage ;)
 

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@staywild23

Plonking this over here so as not to clog up the picture threads more than I already have.

Bad era Michael and the light in his eye. I'm so glad you said this. This is going to sound ridiculous but it isn't just a case of 'the language to describe Michael hasn't yet been invented' (although I agree with that statement). It's more than that. For me it's also that, in trying to use existing language, I can't even get to first base. For example, I agree with you that in this era he's just glowing, radiating something awesome. When I look at him in the APOM video I see his eyes are just lit up. And I've always thought, 'oh Michael's eyes are really twinkling'. And I know that is the wrong word, not the word I want, it's not doing the job I need it to do. Twinkling. Just no. But that's the word I've always used because I literally couldn't find anything better than that.

You've offered up the words 'glowing' and 'radiating'. I mean, that's fairly normal, straightforward vocabulary. And yet I couldn't find it in my brain.

What is that? How does he scramble my brain like that? It's weird. No-one else scrambles my brain like that. What's going on?

You can see it in the APOM video but also in many photos from that era, as well. That spirit or energy or love or excitement or ... something. Maybe all of those things. But he's radiating them outwards. I mean, I get the whole energy exchange between a performer and the audience but this looks like something beyond even that.

The thing about him as a sex symbol. Can't remember where but out there somewhere in the ether there is a quote from Michael (from the 1980's, I think) where he says he feels embarrassed about being a sex symbol and can't think about it too much. I think he means it would do his head in if he focused on it. He says he gets embarrassed by the letters some fans send him and I believe him. Sounded like some of the letters were quite explicit. Personally I think it would be weird and kinda unpleasant to receive stuff like that. I'm sure he was flattered in general to be loved so much but I can't imagine him being all that comfortable with too much explicit stuff. I dunno. Maybe he was just being coy or playing the media game. But I don't think so. I think this quote was from the period when he was still in the JW church so that might have something to do with it.

I think he'd be OK with the Manhood thread. I've only seen a couple of pages but I haven't seen anything unpleasant on there.

I'm with Antwort on this. I'm not entirely comfortable with this aspect of Michael's life as a celebrity, tbh. I'm not sure it's even healthy to be on the receiving end of this type of attention. I'm not criticising anyone on the Manhood thread. At this stage, I don't think this is an issue anymore for obvious reasons. But I think if Michael was somewhat detached from that type of attention it was probably a protective thing he was doing. And that's good. I'm glad he knew how to instinctively protect himself.

Back to the language thing. Where are the words we need? Where are they to be found? What sort of words could encompass Michael? I have no idea.

I appreciate you continuing this conversation over here! I personally never mind with the picture threads get filled with convo too, but it may annoy others. I LOVE talking about all of this at length though. I could talk about it all day lol

It's so interesting you bring up the APOM video because in that, and the performances of that song, is the energy I am talking about! When I think about the essence of Bad era Michael, I think about him smiling so hard when he's singing "we're bringing brighter days" that his actual voice changes and you can hear him unable to sing without the smile ringing through the stadium. It is so beautiful. Watching him perform it is stunning. But even today, I was listening to the live version while driving, and without the visual of the video I could still feel the love just emanating through the speakers. It was unreal. He conveyed so much with his voice, alone, in that song that when you add the visuals of his bright, beaming face and the dancing around the stage and calling out to the audience, oh boy. It's just overwhelming.

Anyway, I know what you mean about "twinkling" and feeling like it's not enough, but it's all you cay say. That's how I feel when I use the words sexy, gorgeous, beautiful, radiant, glowing. NONE of these words feel like enough. Don't even get me started on "hot." He is hot as hell, and I use that word for him a lot, but that feels like such an understatement I want to throw it in the trash lol. Right now I feel like "shimmering" captures his essence during APOM. But it captures the spiritual essence, not necessarily the sexiness. It's just so difficult with him. He escapes language.

I LOVE this conversation about him as a sex symbol. No surprise, I have a lot of thoughts. First of all, I would love to know from your perspective as someone who grew up alongside Michael, how broadly was he considered a sex symbol? Did this exist among his fans, or was this a mainstream thought? I was born in 1988 and I came of age during the 2000s, so I wasn't of age during a time where anyone was really "allowed" to see Michael in a positive, or sexy light. It legitimately blew my mind when I discovered how attractive he was. So, I've always wanted to understand the cultural context in the height of his career. Frankly, I don't see how anyone can become the biggest superstar on the planet without mass sex appeal. It just doesn't seem realistic. But I'd still love to hear your perspective on this. It's very obvious that his fans were IN LOVE with him at award shows, performances, any appearances he made. But...was this accepted broadly?

Anyway, when it comes to this topic my thinking aligns more with you @zinniabooklover. But to @Hiker I want to clarify what I said. I absolutely think Michael knew he had sex appeal and he knew that his female fans, especially, were in love/lust with him. No doubt in my mind, whatsoever, that he knew what he was doing and was feeding into it (especially in the 90s). I am sure he was enjoying it too, especially while on stage. But the issue for me is that I don't think Michael EVER saw himself through those eyes. I think he saw himself, quite literally, as an instrument of nature. As a being that existed to perform and bring other people happiness. I don't want to say he saw himself as a product, because that totally cheapens what I mean. But I do think he saw himself as existing for others. The ultimate empath, who happened to be the greatest entertainer ever. Don't get me wrong; I believe everything about his performance style and his music was sincere. I believe it was a true representation of him coming into and owning his sexuality, of finding independence and freedom, of taking ownership of his appearance and the perception people had of who he was. But I also believe within that was a desire to reveal parts of himself to his audience that would help them understand who he was. That, of course, includes his sexuality.

However, I do believe that Michael was probably very self conscious, off stage, not thinking of himself in those terms at all. I mean, we all know he was very unhappy with his appearance. He straight up says during the Oprah interview that he avoids the mirror and tries not to look at himself and that he is never satisfied with what he sees in the mirror. We know he had deep wounds attached to his appearance. It's mind-blowing trying to understand how a person who is so objectively gorgeous, and who was so openly feeding into this could actually hate his own appearance, and feel uncomfortable with being seen as a sex symbol, but this to me is the separation of the person and the performer. His performances were authentic, but they were still performances. He gave everything he could on stage, but was supremely private off stage. There's a reason for this. I believe he wanted and needed the separation in order to stay grounded. If he allowed himself to buy into all of it, I don't think we would see such a humble, gracious man. He gave everything he possibly could when it was asked of him, but I imagine otherwise he really needed to retain a part of himself that wasn't for fans. So him being sexualized off stage is crossing that boundary, if that makes sense. Sexualized on stage, sure, fair game, he likely loved that kind of positive attention. But off stage? He was a gentle, quiet, thoughtful, intellectual, artistic man who felt that sexual conversations and feelings should be private. So this dichotomy, as strange as it might seem, does make sense to me.

I can only imagine how receiving letters with explicit sexual thoughts and fantasies probably made him feel humiliated and maybe even degraded at times because it crossed that boundary. I remember an interview he did in the early 80s when he was asked how he feels about his fans trying to touch him and kiss him and stuff, and he said it's wonderful because it's all love. But being mobbed is horrible and scary and painful. So I see this as kind of along the same lines. Having his fans adore him, love him, and desire him was one thing, but being "attacked" with that desire (i.e. receiving unwanted, explicit sexual attention) might have been very uncomfortable for him.

I also think because he was sort of mixed up about sex given his upbringing, family, religion, etc. that he probably felt very confused and in turmoil at times about the feedback he received. He probably instinctively as a man and person loved the sexual attention on stage, while also experiencing an inner guilt. I often wonder how much this personal stuff ate away at him in reflection of his own performances, or in reflection of how his fans responded to him.

I don't know, I am really going on and on here lol. I feel like I am still talking around the main point I"m trying to articulate. I guess that would be summed up as this: I think he could love and feed into the sexual attention, but still crave separation and boundaries. I can honestly say that as much as I scream about this man and basically suggest I would get myself fired if I worked for him because of my open lust (lol) I can't imagine ever crossing any kind of line that would make him feel uncomfortable. I would never ever in a million years write an explicit letter to him with the hope that he'd read it, because I would worry it would make him feel disrespected in some way. However, I would absolutely indulge in those fantasies on the Manhood thread (I'm talking back in the day, when Michael was alive and likely read it here and there). I wouldn't mind that, because in that context it was his choice to enter those conversations and observe them. But to force them on him...I couldn't do that.

NONE of this is to say that I don't completely understand why fans would want to share those thoughts lol. They are overwhelming and they need to be expressed somehow. I'm just grateful we have a fan community like this to do that :)


Also...so sorry about this long rambling response. It's a lot, I know!
 
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zinniabooklover

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@staywild23

Ooh, I'm in trouble now! Just dropped a huge comment over on Manhood thread. Had a LOT to say about Dangerous stage outfit. Probably should keep a low profile for a while :D

Will try to answer some of this tomorrow. Won't be able to do all of it. But, just real quick, 'shimmering'. That is so perfect. That sums up what I'm tapping into when I focus on Michael when I do the Major Love Prayer. That is it exactly. Glowing. Shimmering. Radiating. OK, they might not be perfect words but they work. They do capture some of his essence and beauty and spirit.

Shimmering. I love it. I'm gonna use that now, gonna do a mini-Major Love Prayer before I go to bed.
 

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@staywild23

Ooh, I'm in trouble now! Just dropped a huge comment over on Manhood thread. Had a LOT to say about Dangerous stage outfit. Probably should keep a low profile for a while :D

Will try to answer some of this tomorrow. Won't be able to do all of it. But, just real quick, 'shimmering'. That is so perfect. That sums up what I'm tapping into when I focus on Michael when I do the Major Love Prayer. That is it exactly. Glowing. Shimmering. Radiating. OK, they might not be perfect words but they work. They do capture some of his essence and beauty and spirit.

Shimmering. I love it. I'm gonna use that now, gonna do a mini-Major Love Prayer before I go to bed.
What a contribution lol! :ROFLMAO:

I absolutely agree with you on those words, they just sum up his whole being 🥰
 

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@staywild23

Ooh, I'm in trouble now! Just dropped a huge comment over on Manhood thread. Had a LOT to say about Dangerous stage outfit. Probably should keep a low profile for a while :D

Will try to answer some of this tomorrow. Won't be able to do all of it. But, just real quick, 'shimmering'. That is so perfect. That sums up what I'm tapping into when I focus on Michael when I do the Major Love Prayer. That is it exactly. Glowing. Shimmering. Radiating. OK, they might not be perfect words but they work. They do capture some of his essence and beauty and spirit.

Shimmering. I love it. I'm gonna use that now, gonna do a mini-Major Love Prayer before I go to bed.
oh, by all means, take your time! I didn't mean to go so crazy with my response 🤐

Honestly, I am catching up on all the threads right now and I am writing SO much. I hope it's not annoying for other people. For what it's worth, I'll be here whenever you're ready to chat it up more! haha

And I'm glad shimmering worked for you. Definitely use it as you see fit! :)
 

zinniabooklover

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What a contribution lol! :ROFLMAO:

I absolutely agree with you on those words, they just sum up his whole being 🥰
Don't they just? I came up with 'twinkling'. Made me sound about 5 years old. And didn't do the job, anyway.

sw23 comes up with glowing, radiating and shimmering. You can really do something with those words. They have a beauty of their own that conjures up something of Michael's essence.
 

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Don't they just? I came up with 'twinkling'. Made me sound about 5 years old. And didn't do the job, anyway.

sw23 comes up with glowing, radiating and shimmering. You can really do something with those words. They have a beauty of their own that conjures up something of Michael's essence.
I just want to write poetry about him so I can begin to grasp how he makes me feel. I genuinely believe I need to make up words so I can capture it. As much as I like the ones I presented, I insist they are not enough!
 

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You two need to write some fan fiction so that poor lost for words people like me can find their voice!
 

zinniabooklover

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You two need to write some fan fiction so that poor lost for words people like me can find their voice!
Oh, that's a job for sw23 not me. That and she could also work on inventing a new language that is worthy of Michael. That could be her mission if she feels up to it. Someone needs to do it. All I ever say is 'awesome', 'beautiful', 'beyond'. All of which are accurate but also are unworthy of Michael and freakin' repetitive.

Sometimes I throw in OMG if I'm feeling creative. I don't know how much more I can take. :D
 

zinniabooklover

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I absolutely agree with you on those words, they just sum up his whole being 🥰
So far this is what we have from sw23:

Glowing
Shimmering
Radiating
and now she's just added - Dazzling (which I think is a cool addition)

This is progress :)

13.54pm (GMT) Part 2 - yes, exhilarating is a great addition. Noted.
 
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staywild23

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So far this is what we have from sw23:

Glowing
Shimmering
Radiating
and now she's just added - Dazzling (which I think is a cool addition)

This is progress :)

Here's the problem: we are trying to capture Michael in singular phrases. Flimsy little adjectives. Michael necessitates clauses, full robust sentences, pages of text with no break... The list above is simply what I lean on in moments of overload when I can no longer grasp the full breadth of language available to me. But I am convinced I can do better. I WILL do better.

In all seriousness though, I have considered writing a book or a series of essays about him. I have no idea what they would truly be about. I just feel overwhelmed by my feelings. He's a force of nature I want to understand. He exhilarates me in every way and it's too much to not honor in some kind of art...yes, he is exhilarating! Add that to the list!

Still not sure about the fan fiction though :LOL:
 

zinniabooklover

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Here's the problem: we are trying to capture Michael in singular phrases. Flimsy little adjectives. Michael necessitates clauses, full robust sentences, pages of text with no break... The list above is simply what I lean on in moments of overload when I can no longer grasp the full breadth of language available to me. But I am convinced I can do better. I WILL do better.

In all seriousness though, I have considered writing a book or a series of essays about him. I have no idea what they would truly be about. I just feel overwhelmed by my feelings. He's a force of nature I want to understand. He exhilarates me in every way and it's too much to not honor in some kind of art...yes, he is exhilarating! Add that to the list!

Still not sure about the fan fiction though :LOL:
I want to add the word 'panache' to the list.
 

zinniabooklover

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God, this is getting complicated, lol. Did a big old response on the other thread and then thought, 'hm, maybe should move this'. So here I am.

OK, Moonwalk.

When I was reading it and feeling like I was all cuddled up inside a lovely, cosy blanket I did think, 'oh, THIS is what staywild must have meant'. It was a bit of an 'aha' moment. I don't feel like that about Michael (even now, after reading the book) but I understand a little better now why you do and what you meant by that. I was slightly confused, much clearer now. Reading the book definitely feels like spending time with Michael. It's a real tangible thing. A very lovely thing.

I did a tiny review on Moonwalk on the book club thread but, briefly, there was a 1970's song by a guy called Clarence Carter (American guy).
Song is called 'Patches' about a kid whose poor sharecropper father dies and the kid has to step up and support the family. Big hit in the UK. So this is Blame it on the Boogie era. And Michael references this song.

However, this isn't *just* about an emotional revelation from Michael. It's also the excitement. I cannot TELL you how excited I was by this. It was the best. I thought my Herman's Hermits moment (will explain another time, Mexico depo) was the best but this blew it out of the water. Because he referenced a song from that era, because it's a song I love, because it was a big hit but is not really well known. All of that, besides his feeling of connection to the lyrics. Plus, if I was doing my fantasy interview, knowing what I know now, I'd wanna have quite the conversation about that song. Not even in relation to his own reaction to the song but just for the song itself. It's so brilliant and, in an era when there was a massive amount of variety in the UK charts, this still stood out as massively different. Some parts are sung, some are spoken, the backing vocals and strings are very pretty, the lyrics are very tough and harsh. It's a magnificent piece of work. Even if you didn't like the song, it's really interesting.

So that's why it blew my mind. See? This is why I wanna interview Michael about the music he and I would have been listening to. Because I know there would be so many moments like this.

Sorry about splitting the conversation again across different threads. I did a big thing about Michael and the song and then thought, 'er, isn't the person who started this thread called Jackson?' I'm sure they're long gone but I just thought, take it somewhere else. Although, now that I have brought it over here, I haven't even reproduced the whole big bit that I wrote, anyway. :D

In fact, no response needed to this. Just me, thinking out loud.
 
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zinniabooklover

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@staywild23

Quick FYI - Bob Dylan Center in Tulsa opens May 10. Just saw a 2 page piece in Uncut mag. Looks pretty awesome.

You prob know this already but thought would flag up, anyway. They have 100, 000 items. They have everything.
 

Kenn K

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!! Girl, I'm right there with you. I'm 33 and my story is very similar. The only big difference is my mom was a big fan and she passed away in February 2009, aged 50... due to the negligence of medical "professionals" (I didn't even realize the parallel of that last aspect until typing this, wow). Then, as we all know, a few months later... and of course, I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing at both moments. So it's hard not to associate the two sometimes.

All that aside! I've always been a very casual fan, the only song I ever put in my rotation was "Dirty Diana." I didn't really pay much attention to the rest of his catalog but I was obviously aware of it. Honestly, more than I knew. There's been a lot of songs that I've listened to since becoming a "real" fan that have blown my mind when I found out they were performed by Mike or J5 ("Wait... Mike did the 'mama-say-mama-sa' song??" "Whoa, 'let's dance, let's shout' is by the Jackson 5???" 😂 I felt like the uncultured swine that I was!). It's funny that I didn't appreciate it all like I do now, looking back, and I couldn't imagine not listening to this music or watching this performances and videos. Every once in a while, I try to track my steps back to what initially made me finally fall in love about a year and a half ago, but I've consumed so much MJ and Jackson-related media in that time, this is one of those moments where I can't remember what it was. But it had the exact same effect as what you're experiencing, haha! And I don't think it goes away any time.

I'm also a lifelong Sonic fan, and funny enough, an Alien Ant Farm fan, so Mike has kinda always been intertwined with my life, lol. It was bound to happen one day, I just wish it was sooner because the impact and the influence the man has had on my life in such a short time is nothing less than incredible. No one else's art brightens my spirits like Michael Jackson's 💘 I'm glad you've discovered the magic, welcome to the fam!

P.S. I don't know how much you like modern sounds, but my love for Mike has led me to also falling in love with Michael Trapson. Yes, I consider him a legitimate artist, This Is Lit is constantly in my rotation! The concept is basically what if Mike was our age and came up on the same music we did, lol he's not exactly for everyone but I adore him and I personally think he's doing a great job keeping the vibe alive.
 

Hiker

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I was reminded of words 'addicted to the man', 'withdrawl symptoms', 'cant believe he is real!' :) And thought I had so much to write after 3 days, but then nada! Can't collect my thoughts. But will try for rest of the day.
 
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