New here. Not really new to Michael though...


Proud Member
Jul 25, 2011
... I'm one of the, I'm sure, many returning fans. Yes, hello! :hello: Where do I start? From the beginning, I guess. This might turn out to be a long story.

Back in the 1980s I was a huge Michael Jackson fan. :heart: As huge as a teenager can be in a small town and in a country which wasn't quite on the forefront of the developments of the music world. No internet either back then. I loved Thriller and I pretty much wore out my Thriller VHS too. I was so proud to get my hands on it! I loved Michael's earlier work too. To cut a long story short, for a few years there was none greater than Michael for me. Then Michael just dropped off the radar. Well, not completely but I really wasn't following news about him etc. that much. Fast forward to 1993. I saw these huge headlines screaming you-know-what. Again, I admit I didn't follow closely but neither did I believe that Michael would have done what he was accused of doing. In 1997 Michael visited my country. So did my all-time favourites U2, who I saw four times that summer. Later I thought maybe I should have given up one of their shows and gone to see Michael too. At the time of the second allegations I followed the media coverage more closely. I admit I was a teeny weeny bit worried that I might actually have been wrong about Michael. Shudder the thought now. I still cared about Michael and did not want him to be guilty. Some of the coverage was weird and I became again more certain Michael was innocent. I was so happy when he was found not guilty! Any shadow of a doubt that might have still lingered evaporated. I was pretty naive in thinking that everyone would now accept Michael was innocent. Obviously, I have since discovered this thought couldn't have been further from the truth! Around this time I bought CD versions of Thriller and Off the Wall, which are my favourites. Then, once again, I hardly heard or saw anything worth mentioning about Michael in the media. Oh, I did hear about his upcoming shows Fast forward to a month ago...

I was getting ready for bed and husband told me he'd just read Michael Jackson had been taken to a hospital. Huh? I stayed up to see further developments. Some time later husband said Michael had died. I wasn't expecting that! Not in a million years. I didn't cry but I felt weird. How did this happen? I started to read news, I saw the incrediblle outpouring of love and grief and was deeply touched. I watched countless videos on YouTube and really started to appreciate Michael as a performer. I don't think I'd seen much live footage earlier. I must say I fell in love all over again. Michael was (is!) an amazing performer. I also found new fave songs from his post-Bad albums, which I either hadn't liked before or had not even heard. As overwhelmed by this newfound love I was, I still hadn't cried. I wondered if and when the tears might come. A couple of days after Michael's passing they came, while I was watching a live version of You are Not Alone. The spoken part of Will You Be There wrecked me too. I found this forum among other MJ sites and have been reading ever since the forums which are open to all to read. I've found this place both informative and helpful. It was so tough watching the memorial! I ended up crying a whole lot more than I thought. The spoken part of Will You Be There opend the floodgates and Paris... :cry:

My husband has been great with me but I don't know anyone else who likes Michael, so I was starting to get frustrated for not having anyone to really talk to about my feelings. That's when I decided to join here. I'm so glad I've rediscovered Michael! Hi Michael, I'm back and I love you! :heart: I wish I never went away, I've missed a lot of great things. I just so wish you'd still be around and this tragedy hadn't happened. It would be so great if I could have come back having been blown away by a random live clip from This Is It instead of this... :cry:
cool to have you back and i really liked reading about your past experiences! welcome!!
Hey nice to have you (back) here!!! Guess a lot for you to explore! Feel welcome! *hugs*
Thank you once again for the welcomes! :) I know! There's so much to explore here! I'm still learning to navigate through all the subforums. :neverlandsign Just looking at the extensive list of smilies leaves me breathless. :shock: It'll take ages to learn the ropes! But I'm in no way complaining. :read:
*Sorry this post is long*...
Ahhhhh... You're a come-back as well? As you predicted well, I guess, there's more of us here. Maybe we should start a thread for newly signed Michael's old fans to share memories and our ways back.

I was born in '81, in Poland still behind the "curtain". Not that much of Western music has made its way there and then, but Michael's Thriller did. I don't *remember* getting to know Thriller, but I do remember seeing the video on Polish tv when I was like 4 or sth, and how scared I was! :)

I loved Bad. That was the moment when I started to get more of that thing called music. There was no one bigger than Michael then. It was automatic, like the response to the basic questions. "
Who's your mom - This is my mom. Who's your dad - this is my dad. Who's the biggest, brightest star in the whole world? - Michael Jackson". Natural.
I remember falling in love with Liberian Girl, as a child. I loved that song. The only words I could make out of it were "I love you" (I just started to learn this weird foreign English language), but I loved the song nevertheless.
Then it was first MTV connection :) and moonwalking in the kitchen (its floor was most slippery of the whole house). And dangerous, always close to Michael. My sister had "Moonwalker" recorded on the old VHS, and we watched it over and over, and over again. She was also blabbing something about the black panther video, but I only managed to catch the censored MTV version :)

Fast forward - 1996 - first Michael's concert in Poland (and last tour, sadly. HIStory). Didn't manage to go, no money, and they wouldn't let me travel to Warsaw at the tender age of 15 (old days... I guess kids have more freedom now).
1997 - Michael's second visit to Warsaw... not a concert this time, but a business plan. People, that was amazing. Michael wanted to open something similar to Neverland in Poland, with rides, carousels and all that wonderful stuff. He singed some business papers for that. He was also looking at property in Poland, especially loving some old aristocracy houses (we all know his taste :p). Sadly, those plans never came to fruitition, but even that was enough for us, in a symbolic way. My generation went from the state of shock "who? Michael Jackson? where?? In Poland??? what does he want to do here???? LIVE???" (it was SO UNBELIEVABLE) to this really proud moment, giving us that nice taste of freedom and respect - in a blink of an eye. "We are not a second category citizens of the world anymore. Michael loves us. He wants to live here". He said that specifically at the conference in Warsaw :) and we were just so proud. He was the first superstart to treat us this way, with kindness and openess. I guess we all know now, it wasn't about the world or superstardom, it was just all in Michael's heart.

2000 came, my life moved on, I wasn't following anything to do with pop world anymore. Pop music seemed very, very boring. I went to explore jazz, blues, other amazing stuff. I lost touch with Michael, didn't know much about Invincible or the trial, but never ever ever bought even one crappy tabloid in my life (luckilly, even though they develop, there wasn't that many in Poland). I never believed the allegations, but I never took time to read about anything. I lived in Sweden-Poland-Ireland. Changed places, people, jobs, environments.

2009... June. I heard it first on tv, that he went into coma. I run to my computer, and googled it... this crappy website first came out with this information, that he died. I couldn't really believe it. My sister called me, crying. It took a few days to settle inside my mind, and it just all came back to me. How much he meant to me. I felt like a huge part of me died with him... I became "obsessed" with anything Michael Jackson related for weeks... Watched back all that I've seen in childhood, and discovered so much more... I cried my heart out at the memorial... really, never cried that much when my grandparents died, which makes me feel slightly uneasy about myself! I miss him, and he is making an active difference to my life and my way of thinking!

I just came here a few days ago, 'cause I really had enough of all the news coverage for last few weeks, and wanted to find a place where I see intelligent commentary to the news, coming from people that care about Michael, where there are people that I can "trust" with my newly found old love. I felt so ashamed I didn't stand up for him more during his trial :( I felt so guilty that I fell out, though I know it was just my life going on... but I should have stuck out more for him, for all that he gave to me. I miss him and I am so happy I can be a part of this forum! Happy I found my way back to him.
Thank you for your sharing nature, Michael's fans! I've already learned a lot, a lot about him... back... from you. Thank you.