Where Were You?


There are certain moments in history that people will never forget, and they will never forget where they were or how they felt when they heard the news. The assassination of President Kennedy. The death of Martin Luther King, Jr. The death of John Lennon. The Berlin Wall coming down. 9/11. And now, sadly, we can add the death of Michael Jackson to that list.

So where were you when you heard the news? How did you react?

I was at work. Oddly enough, I worked at KFC at the time ;) It was a typical summer day- busy, but at the moment we had slowed down. We had the radio going in the back and there were intermittent reports about Michael being rushed to the hospital. Knowing how the media was with him, I assumed he was just sick or something and they were blowing it completely out of proportion.

"He'll be fine," I remember saying to myself, but I kept listening just to make sure.

A few minutes later, the DJ came back on saying that the Jackson family was holding a live press conference outside the hospital Michael had been rushed to. Again, I figured this was no big deal. They were probably just going to tell everyone that he was sick and to ask everyone to keep Michael in their prayers. I was shocked when I heard Jermaine confirm everyone's worst beliefs.

I wasn't the "fan" then, that I am now, so I didn't cry when I heard the news, and it didn't affect me in any way (at least not right away). But I was still shocked. Some say they saw his death coming. I guess I was so detached from him that I didn't. I knew he had just announced the London shows so then to hear this news... like everyone else in the world I was left with a million questions and no answers.

Many of which, 5 years later, are still not answered.
There goes my broken record :blush:

Since the time difference here... I was asleep and abruptly awoken by my home phone at 6: 15 AM in the morning :blink: That was June 26th. Yep, again, the time difference, you see!

Worried, I picked it up cause I had such premonitions and nightmares that haunted me for months...
My friend, who I sadly have fallen out of grace by now, told me the news...
I was numb at first and then I coldly said to her 'Now, you believe me? '

WHY that 'weird' response? I had nightmares and premonitions as far as August 2008! I first blamed it on the stress of my job. I worked full time as a receptionist in an union so...

My mum didn't dare to call me cause she didn't knew how to break the news...

I remember going into town for groceries that morning... I was so dazed and like sedated... I don't really know how I managed to get home again with only a bottle of water clutched in my hands...

Needless to say, I'm still 'freaked' when that damn phone goes :doh:

At least, I can watch TV and sleep in a bed again :smilerolleyes:

5 years hey :sigh:
I was at work, which at the time was a part-time administrative assistant job at UPS. My job was to answer the phones when a feeder driver (the guys who drive the big, long trailers) picked up, and take down the trailer numbers they were bringing into the building or taking out. I brought in this one driver, and he asked me if I had heard what happened to Michael Jackson. I said "No, what happened?" He told me that he heard on the radio that he had died.

I was completely shocked, and I could feel this void form in my stomach, a feeling that I had never experienced before with any death I heard about. I'm not sure what the rest of the day was like after that, but I do recall reading up about him a lot over the next couple of days, and realizing too late that I "got" him.

Can't believe it's been five years... it seems so much more painful this time. :(
I was in the living room, playing Naruto on the Wii when my sister came home from work and she was in a such a panic that she yelled about the news as soon as she walked in to the front door and I was just stunned. Being a big fan of him since I was a kid and I was still 12 at that time. Then they turned on the news and I couldn't just understand nor believe what was going on (didn't even know he was doing a concert then). I remember between the late 08-early 09, I didn't listen to MJ atm and had interests in other bands, but on that night, my mom was just playing his music and I felt like I was crying inside and oddly enough, that was the first time I heard I Can't Help It when I've seemingly been a fan of his since I was like 3 years old! I'll never forget that night and the days following that, it was very odd and dark even if you weren't a fan. and still 5 years later, everything is not the same without good ol' Mike
I was also at work that Thursday evening, just got back from dinner break, noticing the buzz at the service desk...something about Michael Jackson...not really paying that much attention and feeling a lot like Spyce about the media and their lecherous take on everything surrounding his life, that he must simply be sick, when my mom called me. She never calls me at work but yet, she knew (like only Moms do), how much I loved him, as a teen and into adulthood. I had grown up, moved out, went to college, got married, had kids, and everything about him still captured my attention...I remember saying, "What?" when she told me, my mouth hanging open in disbelief, followed by this...consuming sadness that he had died. Mom wouldn't be calling me if it wasn't true. I couldn't even bring myself to say it out loud for a very long time. We showed the Memorial on the flat screen at work, and it took everything in me not to dissolve in tears during the day, especially when Paris spoke, even though my heart was breaking.

I gathered all my CDs and started playing his music in my car very loudly, every day. I remember the joy I felt watching Michael YouTube videos and discovering Michael forums, creating new and wonderful friendships with other MJ fans. These things continue for me still, five years later, with more smiles than pain, as time goes by.

Will you save a dance for me, Michael, your librarian girl? I love you, I miss you, I love you, I miss you. I love you.
5 years already passed, but it still stings in a real way! :(

I had a doctor's appointment that day (follow up on my right knee pain, plus an evaluation on chest pains I started having in mid-May.) I was waiting for my doctor to write up a prescription for my knee and a follow up appointment for my chest pains when suddenly my phone lit up like Christmas. I was going to send the call to voicemail until I saw the number: my sisters and nephew in Michigan (my home state), my coworkers, my Air Force friends and my Aunt Nora were the ones blowing my phone up.

When I stepped outside of the veterans hospital/clinic to answer the calls and check my voicemails, the text messages began flowing in from them:"Sheila, are you sitting down? It's about Mike" and "MJ was rushed to the hospital", etc. I wasn't absorbing what they were texting (denial, folks), then I answered the phone when my sister Freda called. I started having chest pains again when she told me "He's gone, Sheila! Mike is GONE!" and she started crying! She freaked me out at first, because we have a brother named MICHAEL, so I stupidly asked 'What happened to Mike and what's going on with Michael Jackson?!' Between sobs she told me our brother was fine, but Mike had died. I don't know how I got back home, because I zoned out, my chest hurting, my head hurting, still not fully believing it until I saw a replay of Jermaine's statement to the press. I think I screamed, because my neighbor was knocking on my door like he was the police (he later told me he thought I was being attacked), then I let him in and he was crying TOO.

Everybody was CRYING, my neighbors all came out of their apts and we gathered in our little courtyard where we BBQ and party. Someone pulled their car up to the spot and blared Mike's music (Off The Wall, mainly), then we just sat there, crying and listening in shock. Then someone poured some of their beer out on the ground and said, 'this is for you, Mike, forever our KING'. :boohoo:

That is burned into my brain, into my heart. I'll NEVER forget that day, unless I get Alzheimer's or something.
Oh boy lol....

So I was at my cubicle at work, must've been either on or shortly before/after my lunch break. I was on an MJ forum and the news came through that he'd been rushed to the hospital. I remember joking to myself "great, there goes the London concerts" because it was only about a week before I was supposed to leave for London. Of course, at that point, no one knew how serious the situation was. Suddenly the words "cardiac arrest" and "coma" started to get bounced around and I went from feeling sarcastic concern to pure panic. I tried calling all my fan-friends in LA, most just blurted a few rambling sentences about being on their way to UCLA hospital and not knowing what was happening before hanging up mindlessly; everyone was confused and unsure of what had really happened. Then the confirmation came through.

I grabbed my phone mumbling something to the tune of "this can't be happening" to myself on my way to the stairwell. I was desperate for anyone to answer their phone. I was about an hour and a half's drive from LA so I felt so trapped and isolated. I prayed for the reports to be bullsh-t, that someone would answer and say the reporters jumped the gun and that he was still fighting. My good friend answered my phone call scream-crying, and it was almost as if that phone call made it real. I started hyperventilating. I was out of sick days so I couldn't leave work early. By the grace of God I stuffed all that sh-t back down into my throat and went back to my desk. I had to go through the rest of the work day pretending as though everything was normal; my cell phone was blowing up with texts from damn near every person in my contacts list. My hands never stopped shaking.

After work I threw some clothes into a bag and headed for LA. After picking up one of my best friends in Orange County we headed for Encino, another fan-friend of ours was house sitting for her bf and that's where my group of friends headed after leaving UCLA. I'd floated through the afternoon in this sort of zombie-esque stupor, zoned-out and completely not present. I walked into the house and hugged everyone that I came across hello. I walked into the bedroom to see a few people sprawled out on the bed watching CNN, there was a replaying shot of the stretcher with a white sheet strapped to it. One look at that stretcher and I ran from the room.

I couldn't catch my breath and all of a sudden I started wailing at the ceiling, I must've sounded demonic lol. I screamed and wept at the sky, my heart was shattered. Shattered. I've never cried like that before, I've never felt absolutely disemboweled like that. He was my most offbeat, most poetic love affair and he was gone forever, just like that. The universe literally shifted that day. The lives that we all had just hours earlier that day, died when he died. Everything changed and we were all finally forced to grow up. Well, there's still a few of us stubbornly resisting the transition lol. :heart:
Instead of hitting the 'thanks' button, I wish I could give everyone here a HUG :better: and tell you guys and gals, you are not alone :angel: That day is forever carved in stone, hey :cry:
I was sitting at the computer doing somethings and all of sudden i saw MJ was rush to the hospital so i started to read and then the news came on all of the channels giving all kind of details and i said oh my god what has happen to Michael. The hospital was full of fans i just started to pray please let MJ be okay.

Then the news came the radio station start to play Off the Wall then i knew that The King Of Pop has pass away i was in shock and later on that night it was so sad to see the news reports saying that the King Of Pop has pass away at the age of 50 and as the music was play the tears came down and i just cry the whole night.:(
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On Thursday, June 25, 2009 I was preparing for a small family reunion from Friday evening to Saturday. Some cousins and their kids were coming to town. We were going to have dinner at my house Saturday so my sister came by to drop off all of the sodas and paper plates, etc. she bought for the dinner. A couple of minutes after she left she called on her mobile phone to tell me that on the car radio they said Michael had been rushed to the hospital. I told her that it probably wasn’t anything serious and that he was rehearsing for his concerts and probably suffered from dehydration or exhaustion. She said ok, we hung up and I turned on CNN. A couple of minutes later my best friend called with the same news. I told her the same thing I told my sister but by now the news was sounding more serious than dehydration. My best friend called again a few minutes later and said “Es, it’s bad”.

I really don’t remember much after that. I guess I went into shock and my brain went on auto-pilot. Luckily the dinner was catered so I didn’t have to cook. I don’t remember weekend, but somehow I got through it. I didn’t cry. I was numb.
I didn’t shed one tear until his memorial service when the choir sang the first line “Soon and very soon, we are going to see the King, soon and very soon, we are going to see the King, alleluia, alleluia” while his casket was carried in.

I spent the next 3 hours on the floor.

I love you and miss you Michael.
i was at work. my colleague told me: he saw the news "MJ was dead ". i thought it must be a joke.....
I am from Scotland but I was living in Australia at the time. At this point I was working on a strawberry farm doing backbreaking work from 0730 in the morning until late afternoon.

We had only just started our shift, minutes into it, I was picking the fruit surrounding by around 100 other 'backpackers' from all over the world. Then I overheard the manager tell one of the other pickers 'Michael Jackson just died of a heart attack...'. My ear's pricked up straight away. He was a big Crocodile Dundee type of guy in a hat, he was pretty hard on us workers and he'd give plenty out. At first I dismissed it, i though it had been some kind of poorly worded joke as I couldn't hear the end of it. Then minutes later I saw him on his phone and I heard him say 'so it's true...' and my heart sank. He then announced the news to all of us working and the news spread like wildfire amongst us all. I could hear people speaking in their native languages all around me and constantly hearing the words 'Michael Jackson' every so often. There were trucks positioned around the field with speakers on and they were turned on to a radio station. They were talking about Michael and playing songs the DJ confessed he had 'wanted to play for a while'....sad songs, aspirational ones, meaningful stuff. I'll never forget some of those songs. Even when I hear them today, it takes me back to that day.

Then I realised my phone had been buzzing away in my pocket. People from back in Scotland texting and calling me. "Michael in hospital, he's in a coma, it doesn't look good" etc. Then it got worse. We were expressly forbidden from using our phones while picking but I grabbed an opportunity when no one was looking to sneak it out. My dad was calling me, I answered. He was holding back tears and calling it a 'disaster'. I was numb. Lost for words. My heart felt heavy. I kept gazing skywards...I wrestled with the horrible reality of it all. I felt so isolated. In a field in the middle of rural Australia. My friends and family so far away. The people who knew what Michael meant to me thousands of miles away. I had to grieve for Michael alone, working my ass off, surrounded by people I barely knew or didn't know at all. It was awful. All I wanted to do was quit and go home, but I had no way of getting off the farm until the end of the working day. Of course there were people there too who didn't like Michael and seized the opportunity to make jokes. I found this further isolating.

It was the hardest of days. When I got home that evening I cut up an old t-shirt so that I could wear a black armband. I wore it 'til it felt right to take it off.

My friend remarked on my Facebook wall how people had been sending condolences as though Michael had been part of my family. He may as well have been.
I came back from college, then I took a nap but I don't remember for how long. I was about to take a shower when some friends texted me if I saw the news and saying Michael was at the hospital, when I turned on the tv Jermaine was on announcing Michael's passing. :boohoo: At that moment I felt in denial telling myself it had to be cruel joke or a nightmare, then I was in the shower sobbing and screaming like crazy. I'm an easy crier but that day, I cried like I had never cried before. It literally hurt. Since that day I've been grieving alone because my parents and brothers mocked mehow I was acting like I lost a family member. Fortunately my friends gave me condolences.
Due to the time difference we got the news next morning. My father was shouting for me to wake up from the living hall. I came running to see what was happening and he said "Michael Jackson passed away". I was shocked and surprised. I knew about "This Is It" and I kept thinking "how could he die?". It was so abrupt it took time for everyone around us to process the news. Also the headlines kept saying he was too young to have a cardiac arrest and that he was just fine a day before during the rehearsals. They were throwing in all sorts of stupid theories to explain his death. We watched the news confused and then we got back to our routine. Back then even I wasn't a fan, but I used to watch news everyday and that way knew what was going on with MJ. I remember very well how our news channels used to report stories of MJ right from 2003 which seemed to come straight from the tabloids. Even our most sought after news channels where you have so-called "respected" journalists were talking trash and were very unprofessional when it came to anything MJ. That very month also happened to be very unlucky for me personally, a lot of things in my life was changing too fast and too quickly then.
The next few months I had to concentrate on my studies so I avoided going out for movies or watch TV at home. I read newspapers and their reviews on "This Is It" and I wanted to watch the movie very badly.
My heart broke 3 years later when I got my own laptop in college and when I watched "This Is It" online, it was well over 3 AM in the morning, my roommates were asleep but I was crying my heart out having just realised what a wonderful and misunderstood man MJ was. :(
I was also at work and I actually found out on my lunch break I had came home and turned the tv on and my whole body just started shaking. I never felt myself tremble as much as I have that day. I was already sick, I had the swine flu that week and after I found out the news I went back to work on the register and I have tears coming down my eyes while I was working and talking to people. My coworkers are asking me if i'm okay and I just said no. It was hard for me to talk to the customers and pretend everything was alright or hold a conversation with anyone. Eventually my manager was nice enough to send me home and she gave me time off she knew I had the swine flu but she didn't know why I had an emotional breakdown on the register. It was very hard for me to cope. I came on MJJC right away and probably muttered a couple things saying its not true it cant be. I wanted to talk to my best Michael friend, I was worried about him and eventually got to talk to him for a bit. I had a 103 temperature and I just remember sleeping for days. During that time I had a very vivid out of body experience and a lot of other spiritual things happen to me involving Michael. These spiritual things eventually calmed me down after a tirade I had screaming at the sky I was so so distraught and crying to the point of not breathing. Maybe I was hallucinating from my fever but the things I saw were pretty sensational and out of this world, like Michael floating above me wearing all white trying to say it is okay I will be okay do not hurt yourself. A few years later I watching a special Latoya Jackson, Life with Latoya and learned she had a similar experience and I wonder if this happened to anyone else. I got a tattoo immediately on my birthday. His funeral was a day after my birthday, it was my way of coping with this. I am so glad I did it, Michael is part of me forever and is always in my heart.
First, I remember hearing the news of Farrah Fawcett's death on the internet and not thinking much of it. A few hours later, I heard the news that he went into cardiac arrest and had to be rushed to the hospital. At first I thought that it would just end up being just a small inconvenience, like when he got the flu during the trial or something like that, and I just expected that the first handful of concerts in London would have been pushed back and that he could have easily bounced back from this. I was concerned, but didn't mind it very much at all.

A few hours later, I was helping my mother and sister clean our swimming pool with the radio on when after some crappy pop song was playing on our local top 20 station when they said that he was dead. My mother and I looked at each other in disbelief, and I automatically that it was just some overblown tabloid BS. I went inside to look up to see if this actually was just some tabloid junk, but after seeing minute-by-minute updates on TMZ and on the local news, I had to accept the fact that this wasn't some hoax.

For a while, I just lied on my couch staring at the wall barely even blinking. My mother tried to see if I was okay but I told her I needed some time alone. For the following 2 weeks, I was expecting to just start breaking down and crying my eyes out like every other fan around the world was doing, but I just couldn't will myself to shed a single tear; not even during Paris' heartfelt impromptu speech at the memorial service or even while watching This Is It in theaters. I just felt so ashamed of myself that I couldn't bring myself to cry over the passing of my idol. Over the past few years after the trial ended, I just patiently waited for any possible announcement of a new album from MJ with no results, so I wasn't as attached to him at that point as I was in the past. Not to mention, I've always been picked on at school for being an MJ fan right in the middle of when the allegations were happening, especially since I was about the age of the boy involved in the trial.

On the other hand, it's because of MJ's passing that my love and loyalty to him has rejuvenated tenfold. I've been able to gain enough confidence to proudly state "I Love Michael Jackson" in public without being ostracized, since many more people have grown respective of the man and the music, not what the press says about him. I've also been introduced to much more of his music since his passing, including the music from his under-appreciated Motown solo albums as well as a treasure trove of unreleased music from the Jackson 5 and from his vault of solo material.

I've been able to rediscover just how amazing MJ was in his lifetime after taking him for granted in the years prior to his death. I can also take comfort in the fact that his legacy will live on through new fans discovering his old music in the years to come, as well as all of the unreleased material that will eventually find it's way out of the vaults years from now.
I am just going to give you the short version of where I was on that horrible day. Since I am literally on the verge of crying right now. Just from thinking about it.

I was spending the entire day in my room. Watching my taped shows and very happily playing my Sims 3 game. I was happy because it was getting close to those concerts and I just could not wait for them. So I could come here and read about what it was like and everything. Well later that day I went to put the one main channel on. So I could watch the national news at 6:30 pm to see what they had to say about Farrah Fawcett. Who I knew died that day. Instead of seeing Farrah at that time. It was Michael's Jam performance at his 92 Dangerous Bucharest Concert. And then they show the years. And thank god I had the whole house to myself. Because I was screaming because I could not believe what I was seeing. I started to cry. Even though I was more in shock. But then I realized something this is America and I know how the American media has always been with him. So I came to this site since no MJ fan would ever say something so very evil, cruel, and downright sick about our beloved Michael. And it turns out it really was true. I had spent the rest of that night crying. All I had for my supper was a bowl of cereal. It was the only thing I could stomach. Then I went up to bed early. Thinking that maybe when I wake up this whole nightmare will be over. And I can finally go back to being happy and excited over these concerts. Well of course that never happen.:( :boohoo And ever since that horrible day. I have been a constance Eeyore with a black rain cloud over the head. All thanks to that evil nameless monster that cause all of this.
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It was Friday morning and I remember being in Maths class. It was about an hour after Jermaine announced Michael's death, and I remember people literally going in my class "Holy shit did you hear? Michael Jackson's just died". I kinda shrugged it off because well, how often does someone that big die? I was a fan of him, not as big today, but definitely a fan nonetheless. I remember going to check out the This Is It website when it came out back in February :p

Anyhow, we had interval (aka recess) maybe 10 minutes later and my friend came up to me and told me the same thing, that his class had even crowded around his teacher's laptop as he read the articles. I didn't believe him entirely so I pulled out my phone and went to the website of a local paper and I remember it saying "Pop Star, Michael Jackson, dead at 50" or something (it was a crappy phone with a numberpad still so I believe the title was condensed slightly). I didn't really know what to think to be honest, I was shocked and I didn't cry right away. I do recall it was about then it started to rain, which it did on and off for the rest of the day.

I don't think you could've walked around without walking a few meters with out hearing his name, over and over and over and over and over.

I remember the lesson after that, most people were talking about it. After that we had lunch, followed by the usual Friday assembly. The school orchestra played a tribute to MJ by performing Thriller. One of the higher ups at the school went up on stage and said "And that was a tribute to Michael Jackson, who passed away this morning."

People started talking about it at that point, I remember this dick (who no one in the class liked btw) beside me went "HAHA that pedo got what he asked for!” or something like that. Don't worry, I elbowed that f**ker in the stomach. Hard.

As we were leaving, I remember saying to my friend "Wow, it feels a bit... weird... doesn't it?" and he agreed. It was the first 'big' death we had experienced I suppose, the last one before MJ that gripped the world was Princess Diana and we were way too young to remember that.

A day I'll never forget :(
It is very painful to talk about or think about even to this day. Big hugs to you all :hug:
I was just woke up and I began to get ready to go to work, so I turn the button of the radio to listen to the news like I do every morning, I was just about to go to shower and then I heard it : "The King of Pop, Michael Jackson has passed away ..." Oh no ! this can't be ! I ran downstairs to turn the tv, then I saw the reports... I remained literally glued on tv almost an hour, I was in tears, my heart was hurting me, I couldnt believe it.
This day, I was very late to work, and everyone talked about Michael. I stayed all day in my office, closed.

I'll never forget this so sad day.:(
was going to somewhere
received a phone call from a friend of mine saying "Please don't be alarmed from what I'm going to say."
I felt something is wrong and told him. "Is Michael dead?"
The friend was so surprised and asked me "How did you know that?"

I just knew by my feelings.

And about for a month, I cried a lot and suffered from the feelings of lost, couldn't remember time and dates.
On here, I followed that horrible horrible ambulance thread. First thought was it was an employee or one of the children, then it just started escalating and escalating.

As it came out he had died, news spread to here and it was just horrible......I lost someone very close to me that night and only people on here can understand that feeling. I've had a lot of people say to me 'you didn't even know him', but I feel like I did know him and he knew all of us.

Can't believe it's been 5 years, I am able to block out the memory of that night pretty well. Sometimes I'll come across videos which show news reports of his death and the feeling comes right back for a moment before I push it away again. All made all the more painful by the fact I was a month away from my one and only dream of seeing him live.

5 years and it still hurts, R.I.P Michael. I hold out hope for an afterlife for a chance to meet you one day.
I was 21 and still living at home at the time, chatting to my friend (another huge MJ fan) on msn in my bedroom. It was night time here in England and my mum was sat in the living room watching something random on tv when she suddenly called me into the room, saying there was some breaking news about Michael. Walking in, the first thing I saw was a birdseye view of the medical centre where he had been rushed to and the newsreader saying that there were reports that he had gone into cardiac arrest.

My first thought was that it probably wasn't as serious as they were making out, but with it being Michael Jackson, the media love to exaggerate. I sat down and continued to watch and listen and remember my step dad coming in from his office, saying that the rumours on the internet were that he'd just died.

With it being the internet, I didn't believe that either, so many hoaxes happen on there! As soon as my step dad sat down with us, the news flashed up that there was actual confirmation that Michael had died. I even switched over the channel to see what other news channels had to say, because I initially refused to believe it. He couldn't be dead!

Realising that every other channel were now saying the same thing, it hit me hard! :cry: I felt a mixture of emotions...shock, sadness, anger...then devasted. The man I had looked upto since I was old enough to walk was gone. I had tickets to one of his shows and was absolutely thrilled and excited that I would finally get the one chance to see him perform live! This just couldn't be happening!

I wandered back into my bedroom (my mum knew I wanted to be left alone) and just burst into tears. For the next few weeks I was a mixed bag of emotions....MJ music was blasting out everywhere, tributes laced over all the papers, people talking about it over and over...

As time has gone on, I've got used to the idea that he's no longer with us, but the pain never goes and I still think of him every day. At least I know he's in a better place now and that at least makes me smile.

R.I.P Michael, love you always & forever :wub: xXx
I was an eighth grader. Strangely, "I Can't Help It" had been stuck in my head for two weeks (This had happened with Whitney Houston. Her song "Heartbreak Hotel" had been stuck in my mind the day before and the day she died.) but I couldn't think of who sung it though I should have as much as Off the Wall had been played in my house. That day was too sunny. Too warm. Too perfect, like a calm before the storm. My mother and I both comment on how weird the day was. I just bought S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders for my summer project. And I spent the rest of the day in our living room. My father had told me a phrase in response to something I said, "Why don't you act like Michael Jackson and beat it." Haha, I hadn't heard him say that in years and on this particular day he had. Then around 5 or 6 o'clock I got texts from everyone, my mom got calls from siblings, it was like we had lost a loved one with the reactions. Of course, I got a couple that were like I respect him as an artist but not as a person. And even though I was not a fan at the time, I still could not comprehend how someone likes his music and not him. Perhaps because I am artistic and create pieces of my own, I understood that you cannot simply separate the art created and the man through which the art comes through. I cannot be a fan of a musician, actor, or whatever else if I don't like the person myself. His death shocked me and the pain from his death shocked as much as his death did. I didn't understand why it had to be him. So I spent the rest of the night watching interviews and news reports. My mom was deeply hurt and I had cried myself to sleep that night. And that was when I decided I had to know who Michael Jackson is and why he meant so much to me before I even realized it that fateful night.
I was on the computer in my parent's room, browsing the internet as usual. I was 14 at the time, and didn't have a working internet connection set up in my room yet, so I was always holed up in theirs. It was still pretty early in the day when I had heard the news.

My mother burst into the room and told me turn on CNN.

"Why?" I asked. I thought she was going to tell me about Farrah Fawcett's death, which I had already heard about earlier, thanks to the internet. That was when she told me that Michael Jackson had just had a heart attack, and that there was a live report about it going on right then.

I remember not believing her at first, recalling an article that I had read months earlier saying something similar, only for it to have been proven false. So I told her not to worry, that the media says things like that all the time, and that Michael was fine.

I was so sure. I really did not think Michael was in any danger. He couldn't be, he was Michael Jackson! and to me, that name was synonymous with Superman.

I did a quick search on Google, though. There were a few articles mentioning Michael, but nothing I took seriously. One article said he had a heart attack, another said it was a heart murmur, and another still said it was cardiac arrest.

"Well, if no one knows what it is for sure, then it must not be serious." I thought. I returned to my browsing, occasionally checking Google if any more on the story had popped up. Now the news was spreading, and soon everyone had heard about Michael's condition. That was when I knew, maybe there was something to this?

Later on in the day, Mom called me out into the living room, just as Jermaine was about to announce Michael's passing. I remember standing there in stunned silence, hoping that what I was about to hear next wasn't true, anything but that!

But it was true. I was despondent at first. I went back into my parents room and onto Deviant Art, then MySpace. My closest friends had asked me how I was feeling, and told me how sorry they were. Mom turned on a radio station that was taking request for Michael's music, and my aunt called in to request some songs for me. I thought that was nice, considering.

I went to bed that night, completely in disbelief.

Every now and then, I still find it hard to believe that it's been this long since his passing. It still feels so surreal, y'know? Ah, but I'm grateful for having him for as long as we did.
I was actually listening to Michael's music on my radio on that terrible day. I suddenly turned off my radio. I just had the feeling that something was wrong with Michael. I came here to MJJC and I read that he had been taken to the hospital. And I got scared. I tried to tell myself that he would be okay. But I couldn't stop worrying about him. Then when I heard that he died, I started crying. And I immediately packed all of my Michael Jackson things away. And I was so upset that I couldn't sleep that night. I don't think I will ever get completely over what happened to Michael. Even after all this time, his death still bothers me. I think about Michael every day. I will never forget him.
The night before, I was in Alpharetta, Georgia, attending a Stevie Wonder concert. After that, I didn't have any Stevie's music in my car, so I put in Michael's. That was one of the greatest nights in my life. Unfortunately, it was short lived.

The next day, I learned about Farrah Fawcett's death. "She's not suffering anymore" I thought. Went to work at the time, as usual. Then around 5:00, I got a text message from my co-worker at the time, saying that Michael Jackson had died. I immediately said "Don't pay attention to it. It's false." I went to the internet and there it says that Michael had been rushed to the hospital. "Maybe it's a panic attack or dehydration. He'll be alright." I called my Mom to see if she heard anything. She said that he died, but I still didn't believe that. My heart started pounding, I couldn't breathe. Next thing I did, I emailed my boyfriend and that's when I knew it was true. I was totally numb after that, but I had to keep my composure because I was still at work. I was in a daze for a few days, I couldn't eat or sleep. It was one of the worst days of my life.

Tragedy became more frequent for me since then. April 3, 2011, I lost my father due to complications of heart failure. February 11, 2012, the legendary Whitney Houston had died. This year, I lost my job ("safe zone") and two months ago, I lost my aunt to cancer.

It's been five years now, time flew quick, but still seems slow. I'll never get over this, ever.
I was at home. This will sound like a lie but it's true.
I was asleep, and for some reason I woke up and went downstairs (it was about 10pm our time), turned on the TV. The news was on and they where reporting Michael was in a coma. At first I brushed it off thinking hoax, but as I kept watching and the people were gathering outside the hospital, I began to believe it. I was praying he was okay (I'm not religious), then the press started speculating he had gone, and I just fell back down in grief. I was hoping it was a dream. Then when I saw Jermaine before he spoke I knew. It was one of he worst moments in my life, Michael has always and will always be like an elder brother to me, he has been there for me with his music and his gift. That's why I will always defend him till the end.
It's the only time in my life part of me was glad my Mum wasn't alive to see this, because it would have hurt her so much.
R.I.P Michael, thank you for all you have done for me.