Whos is Michael to you?

Michaels Lover

Guest
I was born september 22=boyfriend :p

idha89.jpg
 
My son??????? :agree: We're the same age.

I'm changing my birthday to August.
 
haha-I would have taken husband, boyfriend, best friend or son, because he's felt that way to me at different times-sometimes more than one at once-

but I got Dad. That's the one thing I never thought of Michael as. Lol. I need to change my birthday too.
 
January 4th=Enemy


In a way that is correct now. Since I replaced him with Shahrukh Khan and Sonu Nigam. And hopefully before this year is over. I would have replaced every single one of Michael's songs. With the right Bollywood song for that MJ song. So far I found about a dozen. I still have long ways to go yet. My MJ fandom is practically still on life support. Especially since there is absolutely nothing to look forward to in the MJ fandom world anymore. With Bollywood there is always something to look forward to. Same goes for computer and video games. Which is another thing I replaced him with. Thanks to my depression, insomnia, the nightmares, and the anxiety attacks that I have now. Which were all brought on by that nameless ahole by doing what he did. I am never going to be that devoted 100% hardcore MJ fan ever again. Back when we still had him he was my total obsession. Now I realized just how very stupid I was of ever becoming a fan of his in the first placed. And I been one since the early 80s. I so totally regret it now. I just wish now I could burn every single one of my MJ items. That I had wasted all those years collecting.
 
MJsBollywoodGirl7 said:
January 4th=Enemy


In a way that is correct now. Since I replaced him with Shahrukh Khan and Sonu Nigam. And hopefully before this year is over. I would have replaced every single one of Michael's songs. With the right Bollywood song for that MJ song. So far I found about a dozen. I still have long ways to go yet. My MJ fandom is practically still on life support. Especially since there is absolutely nothing to look forward to in the MJ fandom world anymore. With Bollywood there is always something to look forward to. Same goes for computer and video games. Which is another thing I replaced him with. Thanks to my depression, insomnia, the nightmares, and the anxiety attacks that I have now. Which were all brought on by that nameless ahole by doing what he did. I am never going to be that devoted 100% hardcore MJ fan ever again. Back when we still had him he was my total obsession. Now I realized just how very stupid I was of ever becoming a fan of his in the first placed. And I been one since the early 80s. I so totally regret it now. I just wish now I could burn every single one of my MJ items. That I had wasted all those years collecting.
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Care to explain what happened? I find it odd (and sad) that you wish you were never a fan and would want to burn all of your MJ items.
 
Well, according to the piccie Michael is my 'neighbor' since I'm born in June. I would have liked that really!
Though, I see Michael as my BEST friend, my Rock, my Hero, my Brother I never had :blush:
 
FortéFord;4181669 said:
Care to explain what happened? I find it odd (and sad) that you wish you were never a fan and would want to burn all of your MJ items.
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That mother fcking ahole is what happen. If he hadn't done what he did to Michael. I will still be one of the world's most biggest MJ fans. He was my total obsession when we still had him. Thanks to that nameless ahole not only did he brought on major depression for me. But he also cause me to suffer from horrible insomnia, horrific nightmares about MJ, and anxiety attacks. 4 things I can not get help on. Just even thinking about it again just really angers me to no fcking end. I want nothing more to see that ahole pay for what he has done with his life. That ahole should be on death row awaiting the same exact kind of execution that he gave to Michael. Not out walking the streets doing what ever. I would so totally love to get my revenge on that ahole. Since the justice system didn't do it. I would love to do it myself. Thankfully I have a brother who has a gun collection. But I will rather become the real life Shivani Chopra. The way she had gotten her revenge on the 4 people that destroyed her h word life. In the 1994 Bollywood movie Anjaam is just way too perfect. And to hear the revenge song Partighat Ki Jwala playing just makes it even more perfect. So is the way Pratap got his revenge on the people that destroyed his life in the 2010 Bollywood movie Rakht Charitra. That movie is just a blood bath of one revenge killing after another. And to make that movie even better it was based on a true story that happen in India. Any way monsters like him needs to be dead now. Eternally burning in that Lake Of Fire. Not out walking the streets. Why the fcking hell should he being able to live his life the way he wants to. When Michael will never be able to do that again. Because of what he did I had to replace MJ with Bollywood and video/computer games. Out of hopes of getting out of this depression of mine. And they are the only things that I found that will bring some kind of comfort to me. And help take some of my mind off the constant miserable life that he forced me to have now. I will never know what it is like to be the nice h word person I once was back when we still had him.:( :boohoo
 
I'm not a mother (and nowhere near old enough to be his) but let me just say that I would be proud to have Michael as my son. :lol:
 
MJsBollywoodGirl7 said:
That mother fcking ahole is what happen. If he hadn't done what he did to Michael. I will still be one of the world's most biggest MJ fans. He was my total obsession when we still had him. Thanks to that nameless ahole not only did he brought on major depression for me. But he also cause me to suffer from horrible insomnia, horrific nightmares about MJ, and anxiety attacks. 4 things I can not get help on. Just even thinking about it again just really angers me to no fcking end. I want nothing more to see that ahole pay for what he has done with his life. That ahole should be on death row awaiting the same exact kind of execution that he gave to Michael. Not out walking the streets doing what ever. I would so totally love to get my revenge on that ahole. Since the justice system didn't do it. I would love to do it myself. Thankfully I have a brother who has a gun collection. But I will rather become the real life Shivani Chopra. The way she had gotten her revenge on the 4 people that destroyed her h word life. In the 1994 Bollywood movie Anjaam is just way too perfect. And to hear the revenge song Partighat Ki Jwala playing just makes it even more perfect. So is the way Pratap got his revenge on the people that destroyed his life in the 2010 Bollywood movie Rakht Charitra. That movie is just a blood bath of one revenge killing after another. And to make that movie even better it was based on a true story that happen in India. Any way monsters like him needs to be dead now. Eternally burning in that Lake Of Fire. Not out walking the streets. Why the fcking hell should he being able to live his life the way he wants to. When Michael will never be able to do that again. Because of what he did I had to replace MJ with Bollywood and video/computer games. Out of hopes of getting out of this depression of mine. And they are the only things that I found that will bring some kind of comfort to me. And help take some of my mind off the constant miserable life that he forced me to have now. I will never know what it is like to be the nice h word person I once was back when we still had him.:( :boohoo
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Sorry to hear that :( I too have gone through a great deal of pain from the hell Michael had to endure. It's very difficult to be a fan nowadays because unfortunately a lot people think he is a pedophile and that's not fair because he is innocent.

I haven't been a fan of MJ nearly as long as you, so I'm sure you probably feel a lot worse than I do. The only advice I can think of is moving all of you MJ merchandise out of your house or something so you don't have to be reminded of him everyday, and of course avoid his music as well. I know it's tough but I believe in you :)
 
MJsBollywoodGirl7 said:
January 4th=Enemy


In a way that is correct now. Since I replaced him with Shahrukh Khan and Sonu Nigam. And hopefully before this year is over. I would have replaced every single one of Michael's songs. With the right Bollywood song for that MJ song. So far I found about a dozen. I still have long ways to go yet. My MJ fandom is practically still on life support. Especially since there is absolutely nothing to look forward to in the MJ fandom world anymore. With Bollywood there is always something to look forward to. Same goes for computer and video games. Which is another thing I replaced him with. Thanks to my depression, insomnia, the nightmares, and the anxiety attacks that I have now. Which were all brought on by that nameless ahole by doing what he did. I am never going to be that devoted 100% hardcore MJ fan ever again. Back when we still had him he was my total obsession. Now I realized just how very stupid I was of ever becoming a fan of his in the first placed. And I been one since the early 80s. I so totally regret it now. I just wish now I could burn every single one of my MJ items. That I had wasted all those years collecting.
Click to expand...

MJsBollywoodGirl7 said:
That mother fcking ahole is what happen. If he hadn't done what he did to Michael. I will still be one of the world's most biggest MJ fans. He was my total obsession when we still had him. Thanks to that nameless ahole not only did he brought on major depression for me. But he also cause me to suffer from horrible insomnia, horrific nightmares about MJ, and anxiety attacks. 4 things I can not get help on. Just even thinking about it again just really angers me to no fcking end. I want nothing more to see that ahole pay for what he has done with his life. That ahole should be on death row awaiting the same exact kind of execution that he gave to Michael. Not out walking the streets doing what ever. I would so totally love to get my revenge on that ahole. Since the justice system didn't do it. I would love to do it myself. Thankfully I have a brother who has a gun collection. But I will rather become the real life Shivani Chopra. The way she had gotten her revenge on the 4 people that destroyed her h word life. In the 1994 Bollywood movie Anjaam is just way too perfect. And to hear the revenge song Partighat Ki Jwala playing just makes it even more perfect. So is the way Pratap got his revenge on the people that destroyed his life in the 2010 Bollywood movie Rakht Charitra. That movie is just a blood bath of one revenge killing after another. And to make that movie even better it was based on a true story that happen in India. Any way monsters like him needs to be dead now. Eternally burning in that Lake Of Fire. Not out walking the streets. Why the fcking hell should he being able to live his life the way he wants to. When Michael will never be able to do that again. Because of what he did I had to replace MJ with Bollywood and video/computer games. Out of hopes of getting out of this depression of mine. And they are the only things that I found that will bring some kind of comfort to me. And help take some of my mind off the constant miserable life that he forced me to have now. I will never know what it is like to be the nice h word person I once was back when we still had him.:( :boohoo
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You need professional help, like real professional help. Or you're just a troll.
 
Doggone said:
You need professional help, like real professional help. Or you're just a troll.
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I don't think she's a troll. She's posting things like that for years now.
But I agree; MJsBollywoodGirl7, and suggest, you need professional help to handle the situation you are in. Life's got more to offer than dealing with celebrity's deaths or PC games or Bollywood.
 
I am not a troll. I was an MJ fan at one time. I became one back in the early 80s. I have the pictures proof to you that I was once a fan of his. Here is a picture of what my bedroom used to look like.

my_bedroom.jpg




This was taken probably over 10 years ago. And it still makes me very sick that my bedroom is no longer the MJ shrine that it once was. I so totally miss seeing my MJ posters and pictures on my walls and doors. Out of all the MJ posters I once had on my walls and doors. My Who Is It poster and my framed gorgeous silk TWYMMF poster are the ones I miss the most. This was that poster:

DSCI0011.jpg


Michael just looked so gorgeously sexy in that poster. And just to let you know I am seeing a therapist. But unfortunately just like everyone else in my life. He is an MJ hater because the few times I did brought up Michael's name to him. He did not want to hear about it. And he just changes the subject. And he is the only therapist available in my town. Life has more to offer yeah like what? Unlike you I can't drive so I can't go anywhere. Nor do I have the money to go anywhere. I am 37 and I never been on an airplane before. I don't have any friends to go out with. I never really did have friends. All thanks to what Michael was accused of being back in 1993. People do not want to be friends with someone who is a fan of a supposed child molester. You try going to a school totally full of MJ haters and see how you like it. I had totally had to hide my MJ fandom from the other kids at the time. Out of total fear that I would not leave my school alive. He was that hated in my school. And before those allegations came out the other kids in my school had liked him. If you saw Shahrukh Khan's movies Darr and Fan. You will understand the obsession I once had for Michael. Though I didn't go to the crazy lengths that Shahrukh's characters went through in those 2 movies. But he was still my obsession. Hell I remember during my senior year of high school. I almost nearly put a girl in the hospital. Because she had made fun of Michael right in front of me. I warned her that she better stopped it or else. Well she didn't take my little warning seriously. And I really let her have it. Back during my last 2 years of high school. You seriously did not want to mess with me when it came to Michael Jackson. I almost gotten myself expelled once because of it. But you know I did not care. Because at the time I just finally had enough of these MJ haters in my school. And hearing him being called a child molester and a freak. All because they choose to believe the horrible lies that the American media was saying about him at the time. Despite how I might feel about him now. Which you can clearly blame that ahole for. My MJ fandom still exist in some ways. I still have my SIM picture as my laptop's desktop. That I will never change since I just love that picture of him so much. To want to change it. I still wear 3 MJ necklaces around my neck. And at home I wear all black clothes. Black MJ t-shirts and black pants. Is what I always wear when I am at home. I am also wearing a black sweatshirt as well. I am still in mourning over what happen to him. As I probably will be for the rest of my life. Since I did saw Michael as the love of my life.:( :boohoo
 
^^

I do not want to offend you, but maybe there is a reason your therapist does not want (you) to talk about Michael Jackson? To encourage you to build a life of your own maybe and overcome the grief you still seem to live in ...

Therapy - in general - can be tough, I´ve been there, too :)
 
moonstruck87;4181771 said:
^^

I do not want to offend you, but maybe there is a reason your therapist does not want (you) to talk about Michael Jackson? To encourage you to build a life of your own maybe and overcome the grief you still seem to live in ...

Therapy - in general - can be tough, I´ve been there, too :)
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Which is what I am trying to do. By turning to video games and Bollywood as my way of dealing with what happen to him. Hey at least it is better than committing suicide. And didn't I mention I was 3 times suicidal. During that first horrible year without him. I was so ready to go through with it each time as well. Since it was a vow that I had made to myself back in December of 1995. When Michael was sick in that New York City hospital. I was so extremely upset over that. I had wanted so badly to be one of the fans that was there. And I told myself if anything horrible should ever happen to him. I will kill myself. Because I would rather be dead than to live in a world without him in it. Having video games and Bollywood in my life has got me to stop with my suicidal thoughts. I can't ask my aunt of how she dealt with Elvis Presley's death. Since in her mind she still believes that Elvis is still alive. Thanks to her son telling her that he is alive. My aunt is a massive Elvis Presley fan. She loves Elvis the way that I love Michael. And she hates Michael Jackson. Just like I hate Elvis Presley.
 
I feel your pain. Only people who are highly sensitive and love very much are capable of such a deep sadness and grief that these emotions finally turn into physical pain. If Michael was still here he would have wanted you to enjoy your life and make the best of it each day. Remember: life is a gift from God and there are still so many beautiful things to experience and see. Give it a try. Michael loved his fans dearly and he would cry to see how sad you are.

But I will rather become the real life Shivani Chopra. The way she had gotten her revenge on the 4 people that destroyed her h word life. In the 1994 Bollywood movie Anjaam is just way too perfect. And to hear the revenge song Partighat Ki Jwala playing just makes it even more perfect. So is the way Pratap got his revenge on the people that destroyed his life in the 2010 Bollywood movie Rakht Charitra. That movie is just a blood bath of one revenge killing after another. And to make that movie even better it was based on a true story that happen in India. Any way monsters like him needs to be dead now.
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This does not bring Michael back. Otherwise his enemies would be long gone. During the trial against Murray I often wondered what a human life is still worth in our society… But that’s a philosophical question and belongs not in this thread ;)

“And before those allegations came out the other kids in my school had liked him.”
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This phenomena does not just apply to Michael… Most People find themselves pretty comfortable belonging to the mainstream and stop questioning certain things. “Hey, when the media tells you that Michael Jackson was a child molester, it must contain a grain of truth”. It’s sad, but that’s exactly how most people think. Who likes to be a soial outcast? Right, nobody.
PS: Your room looked awesome! :)
 
I'm sorry MJsBollywoodGril7, but I find you really pathetic. I know it sounds harsh, but you're just next level. People may attack me or hate me for saying this, but that's how I feel. You need to get over with it. Your therapist doesn't want to talk about it? Sounds weird. He is getting paid to listen to you and to talk about your problems. It seems when each time someone here on the forum gives you an advice, there's always something wrong that won't help you. The only thing you talk about is your Bollywood movies, actors and music. If you don't feel like listening to Michael or if you don't want to be confronted with Michael, what are you doing on this forum?
 
Renaissance;4181810 said:
I feel your pain. Only people who are highly sensitive and love very much are capable of such a deep sadness and grief that these emotions finally turn into physical pain. If Michael was still here he would have wanted you to enjoy your life and make the best of it each day. Remember: life is a gift from God and there are still so many beautiful things to experience and see. Give it a try. Michael loved his fans dearly and he would cry to see how sad you are.



This does not bring Michael back. Otherwise his enemies would be long gone. During the trial against Murray I often wondered what a human life is still worth in our society… But that’s a philosophical question and belongs not in this thread ;)



This phenomena does not just apply to Michael… Most People find themselves pretty comfortable belonging to the mainstream and stop questioning certain things. “Hey, when the media tells you that Michael Jackson was a child molester, it must contain a grain of truth”. It’s sad, but that’s exactly how most people think. Who likes to be a soial outcast? Right, nobody.
PS: Your room looked awesome! :)
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Thank you at least someone can understand me. Which is why I have turn to Bollywood and video/computer games. As my way of enjoying life. I mean what else do I have. Since I don't have any friends. I don't go on sites like Facebook. Mainly because I don't have any use for those sites. And yes my room did looked awesome at one time. And I so totally miss how my room used to be.

Doggone;4181814 said:
I'm sorry MJsBollywoodGril7, but I find you really pathetic. I know it sounds harsh, but you're just next level. People may attack me or hate me for saying this, but that's how I feel. You need to get over with it. Your therapist doesn't want to talk about it? Sounds weird. He is getting paid to listen to you and to talk about your problems. It seems when each time someone here on the forum gives you an advice, there's always something wrong that won't help you. The only thing you talk about is your Bollywood movies, actors and music. If you don't feel like listening to Michael or if you don't want to be confronted with Michael, what are you doing on this forum?
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How the hell can I get over it. When I am suffering from insomnia and those horrific vivid nightmares over what happen to him. It is the same vivid nightmares I was continuously plague by during that first summer without him. I didn't asked to have those nightmares. That ahole forced them on me. Back when we still had him I used to always have the most greatest dreams about Michael almost every night. And I so totally miss not having those dreams. What do you really think I want to have those nightmares? No I don't. There are nights where I am up the entire night. Out of total fear I might have one of those vivid nightmares again. There has been times when that vivid MJ nightmare is so bad that I will wake up crying and shaking uncontrollably. So how can I get over it. When I am still suffering from those horrific vivid nightmares about him. When I am still haunted by some of the ones I had back in the summer of that horrible year. And the reason why I am still on here. Is because it is very hard for me to break old habits. Like it or not I still see myself as an MJ fan. Even if I don't show it by watching or listening to him. And plus I still like to know what is going on in the MJ world. Even though it is not much anymore. I am still hoping that one day I will get back to watching and listening to him again. Like I used to back when we still had him.
 
Thank you at least someone can understand me. Which is why I have turn to Bollywood and video/computer games. As my way of enjoying life. I mean what else do I have. Since I don't have any friends. I don't go on sites like Facebook. Mainly because I don't have any use for those sites. And yes my room did looked awesome at one time. And I so totally miss how my room used to be.
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I got the overall impression that talking about MJ calms you down quite a bit and that it even has a therapeutic effect on you. So when the question of the thread is “Who is Michael to you?” he is actually not your enemy. You are mad at the people who are responsible for his death and sufferings. That suggests that you are a very protective ad caring person over MJ. The answer to the question of the topic would be that MJ is a kind of protégé for you ;) I know that this solution isn’t mentioned above, but it really suits you anyway!! I’m not a therapist, but your description also suggests that you were heavily traumatised by his sudden death and its weird circumstances. That should not be taken lightly and needs professional help. When your psychologist isn’t willing or able to get you out of this hole, it would be good to search for alternatives (e.g. life crisis counselors, pastoral care). Becoming friends with new people who share your interests would be great too and helps a lot.
 
I guess according to that he's my neighbor
 
MJsBollywoodGirl7 said:
And just to let you know I am seeing a therapist. But unfortunately just like everyone else in my life. He is an MJ hater because the few times I did brought up Michael's name to him. He did not want to hear about it. And he just changes the subject. And he is the only therapist available in my town.
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Whether your therapist is an MJ hater or not, is irrelevant. He can't let his personal feelings and likes get in the way of helping a patient. Its his job to help you. And the reason he changes subject isn't necessarily because he's an mj hater. It could be he don't understand what he has to do with it. Insist to keep talking about mj, just say what it is that makes you sad and if he changes the subject, just say you don't want to talk about it and say again what makes you sad, and say it again and again if you have to
He's the only therapist available in your town? Must be a very small town you live in. Also, I'm curious, if you don't talk about mj with him, what do you talk about? I mean, the reason for your sadness, what do you say to him it is?
 
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