Whos is Michael to you?

MJsBollywoodGirl7

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Renaissance;4181810 said:
I feel your pain. Only people who are highly sensitive and love very much are capable of such a deep sadness and grief that these emotions finally turn into physical pain. If Michael was still here he would have wanted you to enjoy your life and make the best of it each day. Remember: life is a gift from God and there are still so many beautiful things to experience and see. Give it a try. Michael loved his fans dearly and he would cry to see how sad you are.



This does not bring Michael back. Otherwise his enemies would be long gone. During the trial against Murray I often wondered what a human life is still worth in our society… But that’s a philosophical question and belongs not in this thread ;)



This phenomena does not just apply to Michael… Most People find themselves pretty comfortable belonging to the mainstream and stop questioning certain things. “Hey, when the media tells you that Michael Jackson was a child molester, it must contain a grain of truth”. It’s sad, but that’s exactly how most people think. Who likes to be a soial outcast? Right, nobody.
PS: Your room looked awesome! :)

Thank you at least someone can understand me. Which is why I have turn to Bollywood and video/computer games. As my way of enjoying life. I mean what else do I have. Since I don't have any friends. I don't go on sites like Facebook. Mainly because I don't have any use for those sites. And yes my room did looked awesome at one time. And I so totally miss how my room used to be.

Doggone;4181814 said:
I'm sorry MJsBollywoodGril7, but I find you really pathetic. I know it sounds harsh, but you're just next level. People may attack me or hate me for saying this, but that's how I feel. You need to get over with it. Your therapist doesn't want to talk about it? Sounds weird. He is getting paid to listen to you and to talk about your problems. It seems when each time someone here on the forum gives you an advice, there's always something wrong that won't help you. The only thing you talk about is your Bollywood movies, actors and music. If you don't feel like listening to Michael or if you don't want to be confronted with Michael, what are you doing on this forum?

How the hell can I get over it. When I am suffering from insomnia and those horrific vivid nightmares over what happen to him. It is the same vivid nightmares I was continuously plague by during that first summer without him. I didn't asked to have those nightmares. That ahole forced them on me. Back when we still had him I used to always have the most greatest dreams about Michael almost every night. And I so totally miss not having those dreams. What do you really think I want to have those nightmares? No I don't. There are nights where I am up the entire night. Out of total fear I might have one of those vivid nightmares again. There has been times when that vivid MJ nightmare is so bad that I will wake up crying and shaking uncontrollably. So how can I get over it. When I am still suffering from those horrific vivid nightmares about him. When I am still haunted by some of the ones I had back in the summer of that horrible year. And the reason why I am still on here. Is because it is very hard for me to break old habits. Like it or not I still see myself as an MJ fan. Even if I don't show it by watching or listening to him. And plus I still like to know what is going on in the MJ world. Even though it is not much anymore. I am still hoping that one day I will get back to watching and listening to him again. Like I used to back when we still had him.
 

Renaissance

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Thank you at least someone can understand me. Which is why I have turn to Bollywood and video/computer games. As my way of enjoying life. I mean what else do I have. Since I don't have any friends. I don't go on sites like Facebook. Mainly because I don't have any use for those sites. And yes my room did looked awesome at one time. And I so totally miss how my room used to be.

I got the overall impression that talking about MJ calms you down quite a bit and that it even has a therapeutic effect on you. So when the question of the thread is “Who is Michael to you?” he is actually not your enemy. You are mad at the people who are responsible for his death and sufferings. That suggests that you are a very protective ad caring person over MJ. The answer to the question of the topic would be that MJ is a kind of protégé for you ;) I know that this solution isn’t mentioned above, but it really suits you anyway!! I’m not a therapist, but your description also suggests that you were heavily traumatised by his sudden death and its weird circumstances. That should not be taken lightly and needs professional help. When your psychologist isn’t willing or able to get you out of this hole, it would be good to search for alternatives (e.g. life crisis counselors, pastoral care). Becoming friends with new people who share your interests would be great too and helps a lot.
 
M

Michaels Lover

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And just to let you know I am seeing a therapist. But unfortunately just like everyone else in my life. He is an MJ hater because the few times I did brought up Michael's name to him. He did not want to hear about it. And he just changes the subject. And he is the only therapist available in my town.
Whether your therapist is an MJ hater or not, is irrelevant. He can't let his personal feelings and likes get in the way of helping a patient. Its his job to help you. And the reason he changes subject isn't necessarily because he's an mj hater. It could be he don't understand what he has to do with it. Insist to keep talking about mj, just say what it is that makes you sad and if he changes the subject, just say you don't want to talk about it and say again what makes you sad, and say it again and again if you have to
He's the only therapist available in your town? Must be a very small town you live in. Also, I'm curious, if you don't talk about mj with him, what do you talk about? I mean, the reason for your sadness, what do you say to him it is?
 
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HumbleBee

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I was born in April...so best friend. I mean that's cool and all but I feel like August works better for me.
Lmao who got January? Sorry 4 u :)
 

MJsBollywoodGirl7

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Whether your therapist is an MJ hater or not, is irrelevant. He can't let his personal feelings and likes get in the way of helping a patient. He's the only therapist available in your town? Must be a very small town you live in

Not quite there are other therapists in my town. But the one that I am seeing was the only one available. All the other therapists was not taking any new patients. But it really doesn't matter to me anymore. Since I am always going to be suffering from severe depression and anxiety attacks. As well as continuing to have horrible vivid nightmares about Michael. I have since excepted that I am never going to escape those horrible vivid MJ nightmares. As well as constant horrible insomnia. You know there have been times where I had thought about contacting that fcking ahole. And ask him if he could give me the same exact stuff that he gave to Michael. Then I realized after spending over 7 years with horrible insomnia. That people really don't need to sleep. And they are absolute idiots thinking that they do need to sleep. When they really don't need it at all. But what really hurts me the most is all the wonderful memories I have of being an MJ fan. Those memories goes all the way back to the mid 80s. When my country was experiencing MJ mania. I might only remember little bit of it. But let me say this it was truly the most greatest time to be an MJ fan. And always knowing the fact I am never going to experience any new wonderful MJ memories like that. I have probably nearly a dozen tv celebrity gossip news shows on here in America. And absolutely none of them are worth watching. At least not any more they are not. Since I am never going to hear about the latest gossip news about Michael and what he is doing. You know back in the 90s and up until what happen to him. I used to have this obsession of having to tape all the latest news stories about him. Good or bad it didn't matter to me. If it was about Michael Jackson it had to be tape no matter what. And you know I still have those news stories on blank video tapes. Some of them goes back to 1993 when I started doing that. Now it just hurts like hell when ever I go in to my computer room closet just to look for something I might need. And to see all of those blank video tapes of mine on those shelves. And knowing that there is so much MJ related stuff on those blank video tapes. Not just news stories. But concerts, interviews, performances, and just anything else that has to do with Michael. And most of that MJ related stuff was what I had taped over the years. The rest like the concerts was bought on Ebay back when we still had him. And those MJ concerts had cost me around 200 dollars alone. But they were well worth the price.

I have probably over 2,000 maybe even over 3,000 dollars worth of MJ related stuff. And all of that is now meaningless to me. I mean what is the point of having those MJ items. When you can no longer enjoyed them. I was such a truly devoted hardcore fan of his at one time. But now it just really hurts looking at those MJ items and video tapes. And knowing I am probably never going to look at those videos ever again. Most especially the private home movies, The Elizabeth Taylor Birthday special, my J5 cartoons, and the 90 minute BET special they did about Michael back in 1997. It was only ever aired about 3 or 4 times. I remember making my mother tape that special for me. Since it was going to be on at a time when I was still in school. I was 17 at the time. That special not only showed some of Michael's music videos. But it also showed 4 of Michael's HIStory Tour performances. And what he did while he was on his HIStory Tour. Like seeing him going on that roller coaster. Every single time I had watch that special. I would imagine myself going on that roller coaster with him. Since that was the only way I will ever get on one of those things. I had so loved that special. It just really hurts knowing I am never going to see really great MJ specials like that on tv anymore. It hurts even way more knowing that the music awards shows like The Grammy's and the American Music Awards are no longer worth watching. I am never going to see Michael there. Or hear one of his albums or songs up for another award. And I just find it extremely upsetting to hear about these no talented singers of today. Getting those awards when they should only be given out to truly talented singers. Which is why I have turn to India now. Since that country reminds me of how my country used to be at one time. India is still full of talented singers, dancers, and actors. Which is something my country almost no longer has. I have since excepted the fact that MJ fandom will always remained on life support. Sonu Nigam and Shahrukh Khan are now my Michael replacements. Since thanks to that fcking ahole there is absolutely nothing to look forward to as an MJ fan. At least not to me there isn't. Which is why I have replaced Michael with Bollywood and video/computer games now. At least there is always something to look forward to with those 2. Like looking forward to seeing the latest Shahrukh Khan movie. Or getting the latest Sims 4 related game item. Or the latest Nintendo game that I find interesting. That I so badly want to get. I so can not wait for early March to come. So I can finally get my hands on The Switch. And that newest Zelda game coming out then. As well as all of the other amazing looking Switch games there is. That will be coming out. The only way I can ever go back to be that kind of MJ fan. Is to hear or read about that fcking ahole's death. It is still just so very sickening knowing that ahole is out there somewhere walking free. And not on death row awaiting the same kind of execution that he gave to Michael. I always been a believer in the death penalty. Because to me that is true justice being served. Is when that murderer gets the same punishment that they gave to their victims. Which is death. It just really makes me very angry and sick to no end that he did not get that. I just wish my country's justice system was like China's justice system. In China over a 1,000 or 2,000 people a year are executed. Where it is way less than that in this country. Last year alone only about 20 people were executed in my country. Ever since what has happen to Michael I became an even bigger supporter of the death penalty. Thanks to what that ahole did. I no longer show any kind of remorse or sympathy towards people anymore. Most especially the ones that are awaiting their execution date. Why should I show any kind of remorse or sympathy towards them. When they didn't give their victim any. And I was never this cold hearted of a person that I am now. That ahole made this way by doing what he did. I so wish I could be the real life version of Shivani Chopra or Pratap Ravi. What they did to their victims that they were seeking revenge on. In the movies Anjaam and Rakht Charitra is what I would so totally love to do to him. Same thing goes for Sanjay Singhania in the movie Ghajini. He was out for revenge on the person that caused the death of his beloved Kalpana. And causing him to suffer from short term memory loss. Aamir Khan was just so beyond amazing in that movie.
 

bluemoon7

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MJsBollywoodGirl7;4182328 said:
Then I realized after spending over 7 years with horrible insomnia. That people really don't need to sleep. And they are absolute idiots thinking that they do need to sleep. When they really don't need it at all.

This is very insulting. Peolpe who have had sleeping issues for years are no "absolute idiots". And if you really do not know what lack of sleep / inability to sleep can do to a human being, you havn´t seen anything. Or your physician / neurologist is a moron.

I just wish my country's justice system was like China's justice system. In China over a 1,000 or 2,000 people a year are executed.

Are you f u c k i n g kidding me?




 
M

Michaels Lover

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Not quite there are other therapists in my town. But the one that I am seeing was the only one available. All the other therapists was not taking any new patients. But it really doesn't matter to me anymore. Since I am always going to be suffering from severe depression and anxiety attacks. As well as continuing to have horrible vivid nightmares about Michael. I have since excepted that I am never going to escape those horrible vivid MJ nightmares.

You can if you want to, but something tells me you don't want help? Since you say it doesn't matter to you anymore. Don't you want to get rid of those nightmares, depression and anxiety attacks? If you try and talk to your therapist like I explained, I am sure he will listen to you.
 

Renaissance

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@MJsBollywoodGirl7 : The main problem is that the death of Michael left a big gap in your life. You are trying to fill the gap (or emptiness) by being a fan of Bollywood stars and movies. I saw Shah Rukh Khan once at the Berlinale. The Berlinale is a German film festival that takes place in January or February in Berlin each year. There is no doubt – Khan is a great and famous actor who is known all over the world. But I wonder whether focusing on Bollywood movies is enough to fill your gap? Michael was really unique - Not only in his special gifts and talents, but also as human being. There is probably no one that will be ever able to fully replace him. But isn’t it the goal of people to create something lasting and unique in their life instead of just following the footprints of others or fangirling about people who are already famous? Didn’t Michael say that everyone has special God given talents and that the purpose of life is the discovery of your talents? Why don’t you try to find yours and make something great out of it?

Unfortunately there are some therapists that shouldn’t be therapists. The profession requires a great deal of empathy which – no matter how good ones grades are at university – can’t be learned. I’d try to tell him either directly that you wish to talk about Michael (“Michael has been a huge part of my life since I was a child. His death affected me on a deep level and it feels as if I’d cut off a part of my own body”) or search for an alternative?

Is when that murderer gets the same punishment that they gave to their victims.

An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth could be your motto :D You sound a lot like Immanuel Kant here who considered the punishment as retaliation for a committed evil. The thing is that the purpose of punishments is more than just taking revenge. As I said before, killing the delinquent does not bring the victim back to life. Let’s make a thoughtexperiment: Imagine you would kill the killer of Michael and Michael would come back to life. Would he be proud of you or happy about it? Probably not, because you put yourself on the same level as those who are responsible for his early death. Instead of that, try to take Michael and his ideals as an inspiration. Try to better yourself each day and be noble, helpful and good. I think that’s a wonderful way to make Michael proud and be close to him :)
 
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