You Are Not Alone

L.J

New member
Having a bad day/week/month ?? Need a friend, some advice or just a place to rant ??
Let it out in here.

This thread (before GDv3 vanished lol) was always a wonderful source for support and advice for others.


:flowers:


know that you are never alone, because there is always someone on here :)
 

L.J

New member
Gosh ... who knew it.... but I re-opened this thread, and it appears I'm going to be the first one to use it :(


I'm really depressed/hurt and confused.

I can't even explain it because I don't understand it myself. How could my words have been twisted and turned to mean something completely different?

I don't even know what to say that's how miserable I am, I feel like I'm going through some kind of major break up and I know it's going to eat me alive emotionally... I know it because it already is.

why, why, why ?
 

Mechi

New member
Oh sheeeeesh L.J. *hugs* please look for someone who you can talk to about all this.
Feel free to pm me also ok.
 

movingcoolcat

New member
Hope you feel better L.J!

I have been feling very down lately, its hard to explain why and what exactly is the matter. Its a long story. And it has nothing to do with anyone on this board. I just felt like saying something about it here, to get it out of my mind and try to express it in words. Maybe it helps?

I have gone through a lot in this life so far. As has a lot of people, and I feel my story is just one of many, when it comes to what life can give you both as a beginning in life in regards to parents and where you are born etc..and what it gives you as challenges later.
I can see that part of my life have been better/ part has been worse then what people usualy has to handle.

Still, I have always been able to go from being knocked down, to get up and start living again. Its just that some times, like now- I just get so tired of fighting to keep myself up and going. Tired of fighting to keep my faith in people, and trying to trust even though I have had so many bad experiences. Tired of trying to be nice, trying to open up, trying to have faith, and look at the positive aspects of life.

It feels like my soul is tired, its different from being depressed or just sad.
I look at what I have been doing for the past two years, and realice I have changed more then I have wanted to admit, due to some very rough years before that. I was betrayed, and in a very unusual and horrible way.
The change is that even when I do my best to try to have faith, and to dare to open up to people, I hold my guard up, I am more reserved then I used to be. I keep a part of myself completely locked up. And it makes me feel alone. Even if I objectively know I have all the possebilities in this world to not be alone. I am playing it safe. And it hurts me in the long run, I know. I just don`t know the way out of it.

If i could describe it as a picture, i feel like the Frida Kahlo, with a broken column inside her holding her up, and a corset holding her body together.
I just fell extremely vulnerable, and afraid. Still, I know I am strong. And if I am patient, and let my wounds heal, and work on it bit by bit- it will get better. Its just that sometimes, like now, I feel more like giving up, laying down and sleep and escape from the world. I am not saying I want to die, this is not a suicide letter!

I just realice, that with everything that has happened, its not likely that I will heal soon enough to be able to dare to enter in a relationship again while I am still in a age where I can have kids. And that is something that has just hit me, and I feel like I have to redifine what my life will be like. I have never realy thought about it that mutch, but its different when you realice that due to things happening, the choice may actually be out of your hands. And I have to find a purpose in life that makes me feel like its worth the effort.

Thanks to whoever reads this, its not realy something that needs an answear. I just had the need to express what I felt.
 
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Mechi

New member
MCC nope it doesn't really need an answer as there wasn't a real question.
Just you seem really not to be alone... I say seem cuz I've not really an idea about it but I've felt myself a bit in your post to be honest.
Tired of being a strong person at times... angry with all those who call me strong or smart as if their purpose is only to have the lazy weak position.
Asking myself why it should be always me who's intelligent and well balanced and finding understanding for everyone and everything.
I'm not comparing myself to you... I do not know a thing really about your life it just reminded me of my thoughts also about having kids or not... I've made that decision pretty early with a planed different purpose, it didn't save me from doubts with all those years going by when it was still possible. Now it's not anymore and still there are doubts at times torturing if it was a good decision but as a matter of fact also there was never a guy who would have been good enough to be the father of my kids.
Well I have these phases when no understanding boyfried, no understanding any other friend and for sure not anyone in supervision can be of any help... but with me... I just take these times... I send ppl away or cancel appointments with telling no reason, also do not make appointments with telling no reason, if they start to annoy I sometimes tell them to shut up, well they had a fair chance to do so before I had to tell them... sometimes I do nothing... sometimes I start cleaning my place, sometimes I read a book, sometimes I starr on the ceiling, whatever... I just know it goes over.
Ok one exception I do not allow myself to not go to work and I make it to keep up self discipline this way. I don't wanna waste the few days I can take off during the year to my bad times somehow.
I take care not to be bad towards myself.
But everything else can wait... it goes over. The less pressure I put on myself aside from work, the better.

So I hope you'll feel better soon again! Hold on!
 
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movingcoolcat

New member
Thank you Mechi. Its more or less my approach to it too. Time out. I know it will pass, eventualy. Its just been a bit hard to handle everything, and sometimes I "go back", and have to face past experiences once more. Part of healing, part of grieving I guess.
No, I am sort of not alone. But feeling alone sometimes has nothing to do with being alone? Its just the knowledge of the distance between people, that are there no matter what. Existencialism?
 

xX.Joey.Xx

New member
I'm feeling very down lately because I recently found out my family are moving abroad, and I have to go with them, and i'm leaving all my friends. :(

I'll come back, when I can, but it wont be for a year or two, and i'm going to miss everyone sooo much. :(

Its always nice to express your feelings when you feel a bit down and I think this thread could be useful to lots of people. :] Thanks L.J. for making this thread!!

I wish my first post wasn't a depressing one... lol

Hi everyone. :]

Much love
xx
 

rockstar

New member
i love that song i listen it when i'm feeling down and upset and i listen to it alot when i was sick in hospail
 

rockstar

New member
oh i forgot too that everynight when i go to bed i isten to you are not lone helps me sleep and think of MJ voice
 

MissyJackson

New member
I'm feeling very down lately because I recently found out my family are moving abroad, and I have to go with them, and i'm leaving all my friends. :(

I'll come back, when I can, but it wont be for a year or two, and i'm going to miss everyone sooo much. :(

Its always nice to express your feelings when you feel a bit down and I think this thread could be useful to lots of people. :] Thanks L.J. for making this thread!!

I wish my first post wasn't a depressing one... lol

Hi everyone. :]

Much love
xx

awww where you moving too hun

im moving to NY in the summer if i can save enough in time
 

xX.Joey.Xx

New member
Well I will chat with friends on the internet but its so different from seeing them and spending time with them. :( I love my friends a lot.

At least i'll come back to England eventually. And while i'm in Aus I can enjoy the sun and meet new people, so i'm trying to think of it as a very long holiday!

xx
 

Mechi

New member
Thank you Mechi. Its more or less my approach to it too. Time out. I know it will pass, eventualy. Its just been a bit hard to handle everything, and sometimes I "go back", and have to face past experiences once more. Part of healing, part of grieving I guess.
No, I am sort of not alone. But feeling alone sometimes has nothing to do with being alone? Its just the knowledge of the distance between people, that are there no matter what. Existencialism?
Well I agree with 'feeling alone has nothing to do with being alone'... not necessarily, it doesn't have to be connected, just it helps me to be alone with myself then... (please know I responded about myself and didn't respond that much to what you typed or might your problem could be. Again I don't know your experiences, circumstances in life etc. and please know I didn't respond any professional way. I constantly refuse to do so here on the board) but my crises, I sometimes go through, have a lot to do with me losing contact to myself in all what's going on in life. Seperating myself and taking all pressure away (even pressure as stupid as to be with my boyfriend or family , spending time with them -only- cuz they like it) helps me with that. I'm not there to make -only- others happy.
I don't know if this could help you also.
But I am someone who needs to know exactly really myself what's going on with all my doubts, grieve about what happened in my life or went wrong and all my weaknesses and mistakes, let's say I need to be open to myself, feel and accept myself like that.
Sometimes it helps to talk with someone to get things clear but sometimes before I can be open with others I need to be open to myself again.
It's not too hard to be myself then, to be open as much as I want someone close... but yeah it's also about going for my own wishes to keep or to decrease distance between me and ppl.
 

Mechi

New member
I'm feeling very down lately because I recently found out my family are moving abroad, and I have to go with them, and i'm leaving all my friends. :(

I'll come back, when I can, but it wont be for a year or two, and i'm going to miss everyone sooo much. :(

Its always nice to express your feelings when you feel a bit down and I think this thread could be useful to lots of people. :] Thanks L.J. for making this thread!!

I wish my first post wasn't a depressing one... lol

Hi everyone. :]

Much love
xx

Wow that's really hard. But you're only leaving them for some time and I hope you'll make it to keep such friends.
One of my very best friends is living thousands of miles away. It's amazing how much warmth and love I feel coming from him even though. I hope he feels the same coming from me but he says he does lol so.
Feeling closeness has nothing to do with physical distance. It's hard, hardest if he or I are in problems and would need some physical closeness like a hug or something also...no it's certainly not the same... but the rare moments we get together, we were together and will be together again, those are all worth it.
I hope you'll find even more friends and I hope you'll be able to keep those you have now also! It will make you guys stronger!
 

xX.Joey.Xx

New member
I know what you mean, definately! My best friend is actually someone I met on the internet about a year and a half ago. And I haven't met her yet, but am planning to soon! We get along so well, and we're so alike, I feel like i've known her all my life! Its so strange but I do think of her even more fondly than the friends who live close that I can see every day. So I know exactly what you mean. :]

But still, my other friends arent the sort of people who I chat to over the internet/phone much so I am scared that we'll just lose touch and slip away, while i'm in Aus. :(

And I will feel strange about meeting new people in Aus because in the end i'm only going to be leaving them too to come back to the UK. :/

Its a big predicament LOL
 

rockstar

New member
you know that you are not alone with us in this thread we'll be in your hearts and see yea soon in here and chate
 
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