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I'm scared for tomorrow

iheartMJJ said:
:better:

Yeah, you're right. The entire summer was horrible last year, but especially June. Every time I think of that month, my thoughts go straight to Michael, and whenever I hear "June 25th", I cringed. I wish I could just forget last year all together.

I know this may be hard to believe at a time like this, but I am convinced that it'll get better.. eventually. Of course I'm sure every MJ fan will forever hate that day, but I hope you get to the point where whenever summer comes around, you don't always think of that horrible day.
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Yeah I really do hope so.


You know the one thing I have been doing this past horrible year. Is questioning myself of why I had to become a fan of Michael's in the first place. I just wish someone would have told me a very long time ago of how painful his lost (I still have trouble saying the d word and Michael in the same sentence.) was going to be. I would have never become a fan of his in the first place. Nor would I have stayed a fan of his this long. I am 30 years old and I have been a fan of his since the early 80s. So for as long as I could remember I have always loved Michael. But I tend to wish sometimes now that I was one of his haters instead. Because they are not going through the horrible intense pain of his lost as we are. All I have been doing almost this past horrible year is just crying or really crying over him on and off. And most of the time it really can not be helped. Since the mere thought of anything that has to do with Michael. I just automatically start crying all over again. Even seeing or hearing past dates when we still had him. I just start to cry or just very sadly think that we still had him on that date. And it just automatically makes me wish that it was that date again. I am still very much suffering from clinical depression over what happen. As well as I am still in deep mourning for him. And I know I always forever will be. Just like my heart will forever remain broken. I have heard stories of how people had died from a broken heart. And I just wish I was one of them. That way I would be with Michael now. Or that I had wish I was killed in that car accident that I was in when back in October of 96 when I was 16. That way I definitely will be with Michael now. Instead of really hating having to live in a world without him in it now. It really does feel like I am living in a parallel universe now. But I just wish I was living in the universe that Michael is still alive in. And we would still be talking about how awesome those This Is It concerts of his were. :sad: :boohoo:
 
Anniversary dates mark timeframes after events, which can be clearly specified. That makes it so hard I believe. Now June 25th will let me realise about the things that could have been if this special person was still with us. It will also let me think about live before what happend, when life seemed to be normal and were I took things for granted. The sad thing is I can't change anything about that :(

However, we can learn from this and change the thoughts of the 'date' June 25th, by start making a happier June 25th in 2010, without sad thoughts. This time we have to make it happen by ourselfs or with others. You can think about everyting around you that you still have, and appreciate those things even more. Great thoughts about Michael is possesion too. Commemorate that. Also wonderful things can happen in June. Like June 13th 2005, marks the victory of Michaels innocence and his freedom. It was one of the greatest days being a fan :)

Stay Positive!
 
MJsBollywoodGirl7 said:
Yeah I really do hope so.


You know the one thing I have been doing this past horrible year. Is questioning myself of why I had to become a fan of Michael's in the first place. I just wish someone would have told me a very long time ago of how painful his lost (I still have trouble saying the d word and Michael in the same sentence.) was going to be. I would have never become a fan of his in the first place. Nor would I have stayed a fan of his this long. I am 30 years old and I have been a fan of his since the early 80s. So for as long as I could remember I have always loved Michael. But I tend to wish sometimes now that I was one of his haters instead. Because they are not going through the horrible intense pain of his lost as we are.
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I can see where you're coming from on wishing you weren't a fan, because dealing with his lost wouldn't be so hard, but if I had a chance to choose between hating him or loving him, I would definitely choose the latter. Despite the pain we are all feeling, I think it's a blessing that we, as fans, can see the genius and beauty in Michael that others fail to see. Don't ever regret being a fan. Loving Michael is a good thing.


All I have been doing almost this past horrible year is just crying or really crying over him on and off. And most of the time it really can not be helped. Since the mere thought of anything that has to do with Michael. I just automatically start crying all over again. Even seeing or hearing past dates when we still had him. I just start to cry or just very sadly think that we still had him on that date. And it just automatically makes me wish that it was that date again. I am still very much suffering from clinical depression over what happen. As well as I am still in deep mourning for him. And I know I always forever will be. Just like my heart will forever remain broken. I have heard stories of how people had died from a broken heart. And I just wish I was one of them. That way I would be with Michael now. Or that I had wish I was killed in that car accident that I was in when back in October of 96 when I was 16. That way I definitely will be with Michael now. Instead of really hating having to live in a world without him in it now. It really does feel like I am living in a parallel universe now. But I just wish I was living in the universe that Michael is still alive in. And we would still be talking about how awesome those This Is It concerts of his were. :sad: :boohoo:
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Please don't ever wish death upon yourself. Michael wouldn't want you to think such things, and on top of that you are so young. You don't want to throw your life away, do you? :no: We would all absolutely LOVE to be with Michael somehow, but instead of dying, I think it's important that we continue loving/supporting him, spreading his message of L.O.V.E. and healing the world. Then, when it's really our time to go, we'll hopefully see him again.
 
The Lost Child said:
gee, I just turned the page on MJ calendar, when I saw what they wrote small font, down on the right side I just couldn't hold my tears back. It was an hour ago and I am still siting down on the floor in my darken room, listening to WYBT and crying my eyes out. It's all coming back all the time. Due the shadows in my room I only see his eyes looking at me from every picture I have here :cry:
I just hate the time is running so fast as it couldn't just for once turn back. One year back... :cry:
:hug: to you beccalovesmj, and every one of you guys here :(
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for me the time is going slow no new news or romours about michael
but you have time to plan something for june 25 1st year whole year without michael
here is 2nd day of june its winter with no snow
 
iheartMJJ said:
I can see where you're coming from on wishing you weren't a fan, because dealing with his lost wouldn't be so hard, but if I had a chance to choose between hating him or loving him, I would definitely choose the latter. Despite the pain we are all feeling, I think it's a blessing that we, as fans, can see the genius and beauty in Michael that others fail to see. Don't ever regret being a fan. Loving Michael is a good thing.
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Yes.

Michael's fans are a very special group of people: Beautiful, creative, and intelligent, just like him. Misunderstood and misrepresented, just like him. Loving and giving, just like him. I'm proud to be part of this group, even if it means that my heart is heavy with the burden of his loss. I am willing to deal with it because I am blessed to know of his beauty.
 
I can't say enough about how much I miss Michael and as we come closer to the 25th of June, how surreal it really is. Even though, I finally came to terms with it, it still haunts me every time i see his tour videos. Or Captain EO at Disneyland.

Surely, a lot of bad things have accumulated, in terms of global catastrophic events, that seems to have just came out of nowhere. But it is very very important to at least try and maintain strength to keep us all united. :(

Michael was a great human being. Like I said once, he was an enduring symbol of love, passion and strength. I don't think he's completely gone. Though I have -0 clue what happens when a person passes on, I do have personal non delusional experiences which tell me enough that there is definitely more to life than life on earth. And where ever he is now, I only hope he's well taken care of. He endured sooo much. Yet, he kept standing. He kept smiling.

Bless you Michael.

And hugs all around for everyone here :huggy:
 
iheartMJJ said:
I can see where you're coming from on wishing you weren't a fan, because dealing with his lost wouldn't be so hard, but if I had a chance to choose between hating him or loving him, I would definitely choose the latter. Despite the pain we are all feeling, I think it's a blessing that we, as fans, can see the genius and beauty in Michael that others fail to see. Don't ever regret being a fan. Loving Michael is a good thing.



Please don't ever wish death upon yourself. Michael wouldn't want you to think such things, and on top of that you are so young. You don't want to throw your life away, do you? :no: We would all absolutely LOVE to be with Michael somehow, but instead of dying, I think it's important that we continue loving/supporting him, spreading his message of L.O.V.E. and healing the world. Then, when it's really our time to go, we'll hopefully see him again.
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I really don't regret of being a Michael Jackson fan. Being a Michael Jackson fan really is one of the best things that has ever happen to me. And I truly do L.O.V.E. being a fan of his. And questioning myself of why I had to become a Michael Jackson fan is something I thought I will never ever do. But it is really just so hard for me having to live in a world without him in it now. He really was my happiness and now having to live in a world without my happiness is just really so very hard for me. It was this time last year I was just so very happy. Especially for Michael for doing these concerts. Not even knowing that on June 25th was the last time I will ever be happy. No I really don't want to throw away my life. But I just miss being happy so much now. I know we should continue spreading his message of L.O.V.E. And I really do hope we will see Michael again. I just kind of wish it was now instead of having to wait. Thankfully I am one of those people that truly believes that the world is going to end on December 21st 2012. So hopefully I don't have that much longer to wait so I can be with Michael. Especially when I had started to believe in God and Jesus again after what had happen to Michael.
 
TarinJade said:
Yes.

Michael's fans are a very special group of people: Beautiful, creative, and intelligent, just like him. Misunderstood and misrepresented, just like him. Loving and giving, just like him. I'm proud to be part of this group, even if it means that my heart is heavy with the burden of his loss. I am willing to deal with it because I am blessed to know of his beauty.
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Absolutely!

MJsBollywoodGirl7 said:
I really don't regret of being a Michael Jackson fan. Being a Michael Jackson fan really is one of the best things that has ever happen to me. And I truly do L.O.V.E. being a fan of his. And questioning myself of why I had to become a Michael Jackson fan is something I thought I will never ever do. But it is really just so hard for me having to live in a world without him in it now. He really was my happiness and now having to live in a world without my happiness is just really so very hard for me. It was this time last year I was just so very happy. Especially for Michael for doing these concerts. Not even knowing that on June 25th was the last time I will ever be happy. No I really don't want to throw away my life. But I just miss being happy so much now. I know we should continue spreading his message of L.O.V.E. And I really do hope we will see Michael again. I just kind of wish it was now instead of having to wait. Thankfully I am one of those people that truly believes that the world is going to end on December 21st 2012. So hopefully I don't have that much longer to wait so I can be with Michael. Especially when I had started to believe in God and Jesus again after what had happen to Michael.
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I'm really sorry you've lost all of your happiness. :( I wish there was something I could do to make you, and other fans feel better, but because I'm in a similar boat as you are, unfortunately there's not much I can do. A lot of fans feel the same way. I guess all we can do at a time like this is stick together..
 
Is it just me, or are all the posts on the second page dated as January 2010?

My bad...
I usually write it as 6-1-2010
 
beccalovesmj said:
Its June tomorrow, I know you don't all need reminding, but I just, I'm physically scared, its the start :mello:
This year has been the fastest in my life I swear :boohoo: when theres nothing to look forward to it goes so fast,

Just :hug: to everyone whos feeling the same as me :(

We miss you Michael :boohoo:
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....................Feel the same hun,it june now,dont want to even think of the date.......
:hug:for you all:yes:
 
We've got two more weeks before that BIG June 25th date hits us! (Oh, God, I don't want to think about it...) Everyone, please hang on as strong as you can and just remember we're all here for each other. Mikey, we miss you!!!
 
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