DangerousGal91
You know I'm bad 😎
Also known as "the big one".
I was considering making this a blog post at first, but then I saw @staywild23's beautiful (and relatable!) thread which made me want to post it on the forums instead. Plus, it encourages me to actually participate here, which was my goal all along. (Also, I keep getting server errors when trying to create a blog, so...)
Behold, this is gonna be a long one. But I wanted to say it because I find it important, mostly for myself but still. Perhaps others might relate too. Do note that it gets quite personal near the end.
When I say I was indifferent before about Michael, I'm not actually being entirely truthful, but it was that way for most of my life. The exceptions to this are the current era (which started around 2019 - yeah, your brain is going in the right direction; more on that later) but also when I was very, very little, I'm talking around 4-5 years old. Around the time the HIStory album was released, basically.
We sometimes had MTV on in the house, and we'd have all these music videos playing in the background. Including - obviously! - Michael Jackson. I still remember my first Michael video... The memory of it is vague, but I do remember the song - Earth Song. I also later saw the videos for They Don't Care About Us and Scream (which also introduced me to Janet) and I thought all of these were cool as heck. Now, at the time my uncle would babysit us, and I remember telling him I liked Michael Jackson. Then... um. Well I'm not gonna repeat verbatim what he said, but basically came down to "Ew, Michael Jackson? He's a black man who looks white!" except it was honestly even more racist than that (and less verbose). (Ironically, my uncle is kind of a weird guy himself... But not in a good way, and honestly much weirder than Michael ever was. He's a huge slob, for one.) Now, this didn't make me stop liking Michael mind you; I was only a young child and didn't know what any of that meant. I vaguely remember being like "...huh? What's that mean?" and wondering why any of that mattered in the first place. To me, Michael looked cool and made cool songs, and that was all I cared about. Just shows how un-judging young children can be, I guess. I also knew nothing about the '93 allegations yet, stuff like that wasn't really talked about in our household (and I don't think I would've really understood it anyway, but that's hard to say with my current adult brain).
No, the "indifference era" didn't start until a few years later, when I was a bit older; I can't remember the exact year (probably the infamous early 2000's or so). But basically they were talking about Michael on TV, and I believe this was right after he had some new plastic surgeries done. They showed a very unflattering photo of Michael, together with a photo of his younger self from before his plastic surgeries (and before he was on Benoquin). I remember being disgusted with what I saw, and thinking, "man, I don't remember Michael looking that rough! I knew he was pale, but he didn't look that weird! How sad, he was quite an attractive guy...". And then a few years later, there were the 2003 allegations and promptly, the 2005 trial. Now, opinion about this was kinda mixed among people I knew. I did in fact know a few people who thought he was innocent, but my parents for instance, while I'm not entirely sure whether or not they believe he's guilty, always painted him as "a weirdo", "gross-looking", etc. and given my young age, I just went along with all that, especially after being shocked by his recent surgeries. And mind you, I was actually never 100% sure myself whether he was guilty or not, but I wanted to "play it safe" because I didn't wanna accidentally support a pedo.
Now, you have to understand something, and this is gonna sound extremely blasphemous... but during this time, I actually became scared of Michael! I heard about the pedo stuff, combined with his "weird" face, and... Yeah, I've had nightmares about him when I was a child. I thought Michael was gonna touch me in my sleep... Yeah. I'm very sorry... Ugh. I blame it my kid-brain being easily influenced by what adults said.
Flash forward a few years. When I was 15-17 years old, from around... 2006/7-2009 or so (yeah - again, your brain is going in the right direction) I was a huge fan of Chris Brown, and I mean huge. The way many (if not most) people on here are obsessed with Michael (including myself nowadays), that was younger me with Chris Brown. Now, as we all know, he is a huge fan of Michael and he's basically his biggest inspiration. I remember reading that and thinking, "hmm, well I guess Michael is very talented, but isn't he possibly a pedo? And didn't he want to be white or something? Sounds kinda self-racist to me. Also, he's ugly and weird" but I respected his opinion, especially since many people like Michael's music and performances (even my parents, who think he was a weirdo).
Also in 2008, I remember when Thriller 25 came out and MTV kept playing the new remixes on their channel. I remember thinking, "Gah! I don't want to see MJ, it's... difficult." I'd say this was the "complicated, conflicted mixed feelings" era.
And... then in 2009, the incident with Chris Brown and Rihanna happened. Yeah, I was shocked too, and my opinion on him did a 180 overnight. It definitely took me years and years to recover from that; much longer than that I've ever been a fan of his (which may sound excessive, and it probably is - I apologize for that, I'm a bit silly sometimes).
It only took me until fairly recently to come to terms with the fact that Chris Brown still has fans. Where I draw the line though is people defending his past actions - I've seen young teenage girls say things like "man, I wish Chris Brown would beat me up!" (ugh, no you don't, trust me). I realize there are people who possibly disagree with me and don't want anyone liking his music anymore, and I respect that. This isn't really about that anyway. But there's a reason I brought him up in the first place - more on that later.
Back to Michael (who even cares about Chris Brown??). In 2009, Michael announced his grand return to the stage and the whole world went wild (understandably so!). I was still in my "complicated, conflicted era" and I thought, "Hmm... well so many other artists I enjoy love Michael, perhaps I should as well?" and the announcements added to that consideration. What if a new album were to drop and I actually enjoy it...? But I never found a conscise answer for myself to that question during that time. Also, I actually sympathized with Michael a bit during this era; I believe he originally wanted to do only 10 shows, and not just in London but all around the world, but I think Sony (or perhaps other people; memory is vague) forced him to do the 50 London concerts instead. During this era, nobody really talked about allegations and whatnot anymore - the world was too excited for Michael's announced comeback. I was watching from the sidelines with curious eyes, even though I was not (yet!!!) a fan.
Then, the morning of June 26th arrived. (Keep in mind that I live in Europe.)
Back in those days, I had my alarm clock set at 7:00 AM to the radio setting (long before I had a smartphone). The first flippin' thing I hear on the news:
"Michael Jackson passed away."
Now, I've always had trouble getting up in the morning, and initially, this was the case for that particular morning as well. But then I heard that. And again, I wasn't even a fan yet during this era - but holy smokes, I felt that. I still remember that shock 17 year old me felt when I heard that news. I was immediately so concerned about his fans all around the world who had bought tickets to his grand return show... It was the final day at school before the weekend, and it was just a very weird day. For a not-yet-fan, I felt absolutely broken, weird, confused... As if the world had lost its heart. And perhaps, we really did.
Obviously, after the news broadcast was over, the radio DJ announced that they were gonna play a lot of Michael Jackson that day as a tribute. Awww.
Now, this is gonna sound a bit heartless... But during what I'll call the "mourning period" that followed (not my own mourning, that had ceased after a bit, but of the world at large), from late 2009 through 2010 or so, I actually got kinda sick of Michael LOL because he was everywhere. Entire TV shows dedicated to him, "Move like Michael Jackson" in my country, video games, etc... all kinds of Michael-related stuff. Again I was not yet a fan, so I was like "Come on, we get it, people like Michael Jackson, can we move on??" Even though I'm obsessed with Michael now, I can still somewhat understand my reaction... Though I'm not sure how I would've reacted now, it's hard to say.
After all that was over, I... honestly didn't think much about Michael Jackson anymore for several years (except for singing Human Nature during singing lessons - God, do I miss that now...). Sometimes I'd see things related to him, but I wouldn't pay it much mind, whether positive or negative. Perhaps this was the second "indifference era".
Flash forward to 2019 - the year of the 10th anniversary of his death.
Now, for other well-beloved public figures, this would've been a year of celebration and remembrance. But for Michael Jackson? Hah! No, instead they felt the need to cancel him 10 years after his death with all kinds of unproven crap. Thankfully, the first time I heard about "you-know-what" (I refuse to mention it by name, and I won't for the rest of this post either), I was on Twitter reading tweets by my friend (funnily enough, her nickname is also MJ LOL though it's not short for Michael Jackson) and she was very supportive of Michael. She retweeted a few tweets that said things along the lines of, "Hey, isn't Michael Jackson dead? And I thought they didn't find any evidence back in 2005? Why are we doing this??" and she also made a few tweets herself in support of Michael. Now, I care a lot about false allegations and people being unfairly cancelled, plus I admittedly never looked much into the 2005 trial until that point (for one, I was unaware that no evidence had been found, though I'm not sure younger me would've realized the importance of that). Honestly, that was already enough for me, but after watching several very well-researched YouTube videos about the allegations and the people who made them, I started forming my definite, current, and hopefully final opinion: Michael Jackson was innocent.
He was innocent. And that realization freed me from years, possibly decades, of mental blocks and hurdles.
I did have to get used to it quite a bit. "So... I can actually enjoy Michael Jackson's music now without guilt? I can do that?? Wow! This is... a bit, haha." And fear? Dude, what fear?? All I see is a beautiful man, inside and out. Yes, even with the plastic surgeries, unflattering photos be damned.
But the story does not end there - in fact, it's only the beginning! The beginning of me loving Michael (again, arguably), that is.
Obviously, as a result of this realization, I started looking into him more and more; his music and performances, but also who he was as a person. What I found was a shy, kinda socially awkward, soft-spoken man who nevertheless had great talent, a great sense of humor, impeccable stage stamina, swift and graceful moves (even when he isn't dancing!), amazing fashion sense, immeasurable philanthropic endeavors, and a great love for children (and no, not in that way!). And... well, I just relate to him a lot, I found out.
You see, I'm autistic and I've been shy and socially awkward my entire life. I don't really have any friends and I'm very lonely. People always tell me how "great of a person" I am, but I've been ostracized (even mentally abused, by an adult when I was a child no less) in the past for things I enjoyed and opinions I've held (even when voiced respectfully) that I find it difficult to share the "real me" with other people. So I've spend most of my life in loneliness, ever since I was a child. Yeah, people liked it when I sang, or drew art, or whatever... But they only liked that facade of me. As soon as I opened my mouth, I was just a weirdo.
Sounds familiar? Well, I'm not done yet.
I used to be obese; the beginnings started when I was still a child (I was always "the chubby one" at home), but it got especially bad once I got out of high school. This lasted until I reached my highest weight in my late 20s and I could no longer fit into my favorite brand of clothing. That's when I said, "no more". I then successfully lost the weight and kept it off (even now! Still going strong, hehe). I've become passionate about healthy eating and fitness as a result. However, and this probably sounds relatable to other people who have lost weight, I still struggle with my body image. I still have a tendency to see myself as "fat" (even though I'm not!) and I keep seeing imperfections everywhere. "No, my skin is too saggy, my stomach is still fat (IT'S NOT but my brain thinks so), I'm not lean enough, I suck and I fail...". No, I have not had any plastic surgery (can't afford it), but that insecurity and the mismatch between brain and body... man, do I feel that. (Clarity edit: I brought this up due to Michael's own body image issues, even if the context is a bit different.)
Can I go on?
In general, I'm a perfectionist, it's in everything I do, not just my body. I suffer from anxiety-related issues and I'm always obsessed that everything has to be fitted right, sorted right, look right... It adds to my insecurities since I have a tendency to go "blegh, it fails, I suck", when even one (1) tiny thing isn't right.
And I like fashion, and I sing, I write songs, my dancing isn't as swift and smooth as Michael's but I can dance somewhat (sadly no moonwalk though), I like cartoons and theme parks, I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old... Yeah? You get it now?
And Michael's hot. He just is. But I won't gush too much about that here.
Though I will say I love love love men with long hair, especially long black hair in a ponytail, and guys with eyeliner and with good fashion sense... Yeah, you get the idea, hehe.
Also, Chris Brown who?? I was stanning a future proven domestic abuser yet dismissing a man who had no evidence against him whatsoever? Teen-me, you were wild. Gosh darn it.
I also think we should be focusing on actual, proven pedophiles and sexual abusers instead (or, if not proven, at least have credible allegations against them). People like R. Kelly, Gary Glitter, Harvey Weinstein... You know the deal. Also, I love how nobody mentions how Michael was forced to perform in adult 21+ venues as a child, among the strippers and hookers (I personally think this should be illegal). But nope, instead they focus on unproven, money-motivated false allegations rather than this extremely unhealthy environment he had to be in.
I wanna close this overly-way-too-long borderline-diary post by saying that Michael was just a great, beautiful, talented and generous person, and that the harpies can suck it.
I think that was all. To those who made it all the way to the end, I salute you. Here, have a cookie.
For real though, for those who have read this post in its entirety, thank you.
I hope there's at least someone who relates to this post, or that people can at least understand it even if their experiences have been different. Perhaps I might've forgotten some things, but this post is already so long that I'll probably talk about it elsewhere instead.
I'll see you around, hopefully.
~DangerousGal91
I was considering making this a blog post at first, but then I saw @staywild23's beautiful (and relatable!) thread which made me want to post it on the forums instead. Plus, it encourages me to actually participate here, which was my goal all along. (Also, I keep getting server errors when trying to create a blog, so...)
Behold, this is gonna be a long one. But I wanted to say it because I find it important, mostly for myself but still. Perhaps others might relate too. Do note that it gets quite personal near the end.
When I say I was indifferent before about Michael, I'm not actually being entirely truthful, but it was that way for most of my life. The exceptions to this are the current era (which started around 2019 - yeah, your brain is going in the right direction; more on that later) but also when I was very, very little, I'm talking around 4-5 years old. Around the time the HIStory album was released, basically.
We sometimes had MTV on in the house, and we'd have all these music videos playing in the background. Including - obviously! - Michael Jackson. I still remember my first Michael video... The memory of it is vague, but I do remember the song - Earth Song. I also later saw the videos for They Don't Care About Us and Scream (which also introduced me to Janet) and I thought all of these were cool as heck. Now, at the time my uncle would babysit us, and I remember telling him I liked Michael Jackson. Then... um. Well I'm not gonna repeat verbatim what he said, but basically came down to "Ew, Michael Jackson? He's a black man who looks white!" except it was honestly even more racist than that (and less verbose). (Ironically, my uncle is kind of a weird guy himself... But not in a good way, and honestly much weirder than Michael ever was. He's a huge slob, for one.) Now, this didn't make me stop liking Michael mind you; I was only a young child and didn't know what any of that meant. I vaguely remember being like "...huh? What's that mean?" and wondering why any of that mattered in the first place. To me, Michael looked cool and made cool songs, and that was all I cared about. Just shows how un-judging young children can be, I guess. I also knew nothing about the '93 allegations yet, stuff like that wasn't really talked about in our household (and I don't think I would've really understood it anyway, but that's hard to say with my current adult brain).
No, the "indifference era" didn't start until a few years later, when I was a bit older; I can't remember the exact year (probably the infamous early 2000's or so). But basically they were talking about Michael on TV, and I believe this was right after he had some new plastic surgeries done. They showed a very unflattering photo of Michael, together with a photo of his younger self from before his plastic surgeries (and before he was on Benoquin). I remember being disgusted with what I saw, and thinking, "man, I don't remember Michael looking that rough! I knew he was pale, but he didn't look that weird! How sad, he was quite an attractive guy...". And then a few years later, there were the 2003 allegations and promptly, the 2005 trial. Now, opinion about this was kinda mixed among people I knew. I did in fact know a few people who thought he was innocent, but my parents for instance, while I'm not entirely sure whether or not they believe he's guilty, always painted him as "a weirdo", "gross-looking", etc. and given my young age, I just went along with all that, especially after being shocked by his recent surgeries. And mind you, I was actually never 100% sure myself whether he was guilty or not, but I wanted to "play it safe" because I didn't wanna accidentally support a pedo.
Now, you have to understand something, and this is gonna sound extremely blasphemous... but during this time, I actually became scared of Michael! I heard about the pedo stuff, combined with his "weird" face, and... Yeah, I've had nightmares about him when I was a child. I thought Michael was gonna touch me in my sleep... Yeah. I'm very sorry... Ugh. I blame it my kid-brain being easily influenced by what adults said.
Flash forward a few years. When I was 15-17 years old, from around... 2006/7-2009 or so (yeah - again, your brain is going in the right direction) I was a huge fan of Chris Brown, and I mean huge. The way many (if not most) people on here are obsessed with Michael (including myself nowadays), that was younger me with Chris Brown. Now, as we all know, he is a huge fan of Michael and he's basically his biggest inspiration. I remember reading that and thinking, "hmm, well I guess Michael is very talented, but isn't he possibly a pedo? And didn't he want to be white or something? Sounds kinda self-racist to me. Also, he's ugly and weird" but I respected his opinion, especially since many people like Michael's music and performances (even my parents, who think he was a weirdo).
Also in 2008, I remember when Thriller 25 came out and MTV kept playing the new remixes on their channel. I remember thinking, "Gah! I don't want to see MJ, it's... difficult." I'd say this was the "complicated, conflicted mixed feelings" era.
And... then in 2009, the incident with Chris Brown and Rihanna happened. Yeah, I was shocked too, and my opinion on him did a 180 overnight. It definitely took me years and years to recover from that; much longer than that I've ever been a fan of his (which may sound excessive, and it probably is - I apologize for that, I'm a bit silly sometimes).
It only took me until fairly recently to come to terms with the fact that Chris Brown still has fans. Where I draw the line though is people defending his past actions - I've seen young teenage girls say things like "man, I wish Chris Brown would beat me up!" (ugh, no you don't, trust me). I realize there are people who possibly disagree with me and don't want anyone liking his music anymore, and I respect that. This isn't really about that anyway. But there's a reason I brought him up in the first place - more on that later.
Back to Michael (who even cares about Chris Brown??). In 2009, Michael announced his grand return to the stage and the whole world went wild (understandably so!). I was still in my "complicated, conflicted era" and I thought, "Hmm... well so many other artists I enjoy love Michael, perhaps I should as well?" and the announcements added to that consideration. What if a new album were to drop and I actually enjoy it...? But I never found a conscise answer for myself to that question during that time. Also, I actually sympathized with Michael a bit during this era; I believe he originally wanted to do only 10 shows, and not just in London but all around the world, but I think Sony (or perhaps other people; memory is vague) forced him to do the 50 London concerts instead. During this era, nobody really talked about allegations and whatnot anymore - the world was too excited for Michael's announced comeback. I was watching from the sidelines with curious eyes, even though I was not (yet!!!) a fan.
Then, the morning of June 26th arrived. (Keep in mind that I live in Europe.)
Back in those days, I had my alarm clock set at 7:00 AM to the radio setting (long before I had a smartphone). The first flippin' thing I hear on the news:
"Michael Jackson passed away."
Now, I've always had trouble getting up in the morning, and initially, this was the case for that particular morning as well. But then I heard that. And again, I wasn't even a fan yet during this era - but holy smokes, I felt that. I still remember that shock 17 year old me felt when I heard that news. I was immediately so concerned about his fans all around the world who had bought tickets to his grand return show... It was the final day at school before the weekend, and it was just a very weird day. For a not-yet-fan, I felt absolutely broken, weird, confused... As if the world had lost its heart. And perhaps, we really did.
Obviously, after the news broadcast was over, the radio DJ announced that they were gonna play a lot of Michael Jackson that day as a tribute. Awww.
Now, this is gonna sound a bit heartless... But during what I'll call the "mourning period" that followed (not my own mourning, that had ceased after a bit, but of the world at large), from late 2009 through 2010 or so, I actually got kinda sick of Michael LOL because he was everywhere. Entire TV shows dedicated to him, "Move like Michael Jackson" in my country, video games, etc... all kinds of Michael-related stuff. Again I was not yet a fan, so I was like "Come on, we get it, people like Michael Jackson, can we move on??" Even though I'm obsessed with Michael now, I can still somewhat understand my reaction... Though I'm not sure how I would've reacted now, it's hard to say.
After all that was over, I... honestly didn't think much about Michael Jackson anymore for several years (except for singing Human Nature during singing lessons - God, do I miss that now...). Sometimes I'd see things related to him, but I wouldn't pay it much mind, whether positive or negative. Perhaps this was the second "indifference era".
Flash forward to 2019 - the year of the 10th anniversary of his death.
Now, for other well-beloved public figures, this would've been a year of celebration and remembrance. But for Michael Jackson? Hah! No, instead they felt the need to cancel him 10 years after his death with all kinds of unproven crap. Thankfully, the first time I heard about "you-know-what" (I refuse to mention it by name, and I won't for the rest of this post either), I was on Twitter reading tweets by my friend (funnily enough, her nickname is also MJ LOL though it's not short for Michael Jackson) and she was very supportive of Michael. She retweeted a few tweets that said things along the lines of, "Hey, isn't Michael Jackson dead? And I thought they didn't find any evidence back in 2005? Why are we doing this??" and she also made a few tweets herself in support of Michael. Now, I care a lot about false allegations and people being unfairly cancelled, plus I admittedly never looked much into the 2005 trial until that point (for one, I was unaware that no evidence had been found, though I'm not sure younger me would've realized the importance of that). Honestly, that was already enough for me, but after watching several very well-researched YouTube videos about the allegations and the people who made them, I started forming my definite, current, and hopefully final opinion: Michael Jackson was innocent.
He was innocent. And that realization freed me from years, possibly decades, of mental blocks and hurdles.
I did have to get used to it quite a bit. "So... I can actually enjoy Michael Jackson's music now without guilt? I can do that?? Wow! This is... a bit, haha." And fear? Dude, what fear?? All I see is a beautiful man, inside and out. Yes, even with the plastic surgeries, unflattering photos be damned.
But the story does not end there - in fact, it's only the beginning! The beginning of me loving Michael (again, arguably), that is.
Obviously, as a result of this realization, I started looking into him more and more; his music and performances, but also who he was as a person. What I found was a shy, kinda socially awkward, soft-spoken man who nevertheless had great talent, a great sense of humor, impeccable stage stamina, swift and graceful moves (even when he isn't dancing!), amazing fashion sense, immeasurable philanthropic endeavors, and a great love for children (and no, not in that way!). And... well, I just relate to him a lot, I found out.
You see, I'm autistic and I've been shy and socially awkward my entire life. I don't really have any friends and I'm very lonely. People always tell me how "great of a person" I am, but I've been ostracized (even mentally abused, by an adult when I was a child no less) in the past for things I enjoyed and opinions I've held (even when voiced respectfully) that I find it difficult to share the "real me" with other people. So I've spend most of my life in loneliness, ever since I was a child. Yeah, people liked it when I sang, or drew art, or whatever... But they only liked that facade of me. As soon as I opened my mouth, I was just a weirdo.
Sounds familiar? Well, I'm not done yet.
I used to be obese; the beginnings started when I was still a child (I was always "the chubby one" at home), but it got especially bad once I got out of high school. This lasted until I reached my highest weight in my late 20s and I could no longer fit into my favorite brand of clothing. That's when I said, "no more". I then successfully lost the weight and kept it off (even now! Still going strong, hehe
). I've become passionate about healthy eating and fitness as a result. However, and this probably sounds relatable to other people who have lost weight, I still struggle with my body image. I still have a tendency to see myself as "fat" (even though I'm not!) and I keep seeing imperfections everywhere. "No, my skin is too saggy, my stomach is still fat (IT'S NOT but my brain thinks so), I'm not lean enough, I suck and I fail...". No, I have not had any plastic surgery (can't afford it), but that insecurity and the mismatch between brain and body... man, do I feel that. (Clarity edit: I brought this up due to Michael's own body image issues, even if the context is a bit different.)Can I go on?
In general, I'm a perfectionist, it's in everything I do, not just my body. I suffer from anxiety-related issues and I'm always obsessed that everything has to be fitted right, sorted right, look right... It adds to my insecurities since I have a tendency to go "blegh, it fails, I suck", when even one (1) tiny thing isn't right.
And I like fashion, and I sing, I write songs, my dancing isn't as swift and smooth as Michael's but I can dance somewhat (sadly no moonwalk though), I like cartoons and theme parks, I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old... Yeah? You get it now?
And Michael's hot. He just is. But I won't gush too much about that here.
Though I will say I love love love men with long hair, especially long black hair in a ponytail, and guys with eyeliner and with good fashion sense... Yeah, you get the idea, hehe.Also, Chris Brown who?? I was stanning a future proven domestic abuser yet dismissing a man who had no evidence against him whatsoever? Teen-me, you were wild. Gosh darn it.
I also think we should be focusing on actual, proven pedophiles and sexual abusers instead (or, if not proven, at least have credible allegations against them). People like R. Kelly, Gary Glitter, Harvey Weinstein... You know the deal. Also, I love how nobody mentions how Michael was forced to perform in adult 21+ venues as a child, among the strippers and hookers (I personally think this should be illegal). But nope, instead they focus on unproven, money-motivated false allegations rather than this extremely unhealthy environment he had to be in.
I wanna close this overly-way-too-long borderline-diary post by saying that Michael was just a great, beautiful, talented and generous person, and that the harpies can suck it.
I think that was all. To those who made it all the way to the end, I salute you.
Here, have a cookie.For real though, for those who have read this post in its entirety, thank you.
I hope there's at least someone who relates to this post, or that people can at least understand it even if their experiences have been different. Perhaps I might've forgotten some things, but this post is already so long that I'll probably talk about it elsewhere instead.I'll see you around, hopefully.
~DangerousGal91
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I know he's looking over us all proudly! 
I really hope they all learn about the seriousness of domestic abuse one day, thankfully they were all still quite young at the time.
I honestly don't like to think about it much... I prefer to celebrate his amazing legacy instead. I think in the end, we all do. 