spoonie
Proud Member
I need to vent a little bit at the moment. I have little support from anywhere or anyone, so thought I would do it here seeing how Michael followers are notoriously caring people.
Things are kind of bad at the moment. Not just because of Michael leaving this world. To be honest I have had nobody I can talk to about Michaels passing, other than on here. But now I can't even talk about anything that I'm going through with anybody thanks to the nasty attitude of people. And it really upsets me because we are all in this world together, why do so many people get off on making others unhappy? Shouldn't we all be helping each other to live through this crazy life? "Make a little space, make a better place" to quote Michael.
I think a big reason why I'm feeling like this is because two years ago this week exactly my best friend from childhood and her little son were cruelly murdered by a man who had abused her, myself and others when we were children. It isn't as painful now the man has finally been brought to justice. He pleaded not guilty at first therefore delaying the whole sentencing thing and many of us, including myself were to be called as witnesses for what happened when we were kids. Luckily at the last minute he pleaded guilty so we didn't have to go through that in the end, but just giving the statements, AND preparing for court for a whole 18 months was pretty hard. But it's done now.
The other thing that has upset me deeply is that I actually attend a support group that is doing more harm than good. The idea of this place is that people who have had a hard time and who don't have a large support network can gather and kind of talk things out and support each other, just so you don't feel alone. This was fine for ages but for the past month it has been awful. There is a new girl there who is extremely judgemental. The idea of group is that you don't judge or be judged but this girl ignores that. In the group she's fine and portrays herself as lovely and understanding. Outside the group she goes around calling people names behind their backs and being harsh and judgemental. I can't give examples of this as you have to sign a confidentiality agreement (even though she doesn't take that seriously) and if I explain what the judgements were I would essentially be telling you why other people were there and I would be in breach. I just think it's awful to be feeling that you can't say what you want without feeling fear of being judged, laughed at or bitched about. I know bitching can come from a lack of understanding, but if that is the case she still could keep her opinions to herself and not try to make others behave the same way. I think being outright catty at a SUPPORT group is out of line and I feel really uncomfortable speaking there now.
Anyway, rant over. Just feel very much alone at the moment and don't know who to turn to.
Things are kind of bad at the moment. Not just because of Michael leaving this world. To be honest I have had nobody I can talk to about Michaels passing, other than on here. But now I can't even talk about anything that I'm going through with anybody thanks to the nasty attitude of people. And it really upsets me because we are all in this world together, why do so many people get off on making others unhappy? Shouldn't we all be helping each other to live through this crazy life? "Make a little space, make a better place" to quote Michael.
I think a big reason why I'm feeling like this is because two years ago this week exactly my best friend from childhood and her little son were cruelly murdered by a man who had abused her, myself and others when we were children. It isn't as painful now the man has finally been brought to justice. He pleaded not guilty at first therefore delaying the whole sentencing thing and many of us, including myself were to be called as witnesses for what happened when we were kids. Luckily at the last minute he pleaded guilty so we didn't have to go through that in the end, but just giving the statements, AND preparing for court for a whole 18 months was pretty hard. But it's done now.
The other thing that has upset me deeply is that I actually attend a support group that is doing more harm than good. The idea of this place is that people who have had a hard time and who don't have a large support network can gather and kind of talk things out and support each other, just so you don't feel alone. This was fine for ages but for the past month it has been awful. There is a new girl there who is extremely judgemental. The idea of group is that you don't judge or be judged but this girl ignores that. In the group she's fine and portrays herself as lovely and understanding. Outside the group she goes around calling people names behind their backs and being harsh and judgemental. I can't give examples of this as you have to sign a confidentiality agreement (even though she doesn't take that seriously) and if I explain what the judgements were I would essentially be telling you why other people were there and I would be in breach. I just think it's awful to be feeling that you can't say what you want without feeling fear of being judged, laughed at or bitched about. I know bitching can come from a lack of understanding, but if that is the case she still could keep her opinions to herself and not try to make others behave the same way. I think being outright catty at a SUPPORT group is out of line and I feel really uncomfortable speaking there now.
Anyway, rant over. Just feel very much alone at the moment and don't know who to turn to.
