I wish I knew what to say to make it better, but I really don't. I'm up and down in emotion myself. I'm 'fine' one moment, then I'm really sad the next moment. I'm still crying from time to time, I did just before I came to this thread actually. When I'm 'fine' I'm mostly just putting a brave face on and 'going through the motions', I think of him every day.
Most of the time I'm just numb.. I really am. I know that's a sign of depression, along with other behaviours and feelings I have. You know.. I've been clinging onto an impossibility that seemed slightly possible..(I think you know what I mean).. as time goes on, it becomes less and less likely. Initially I thought I wasn't in denial, just 'investigating', I wasn't in denial at the beginning, but the more I read/watched and got into the mindset.. the more I wanted to believe. It turned to 'want'. I
want him to still be here. I
want to wake up one morning and find this was all a very bad dream. I
want to wake up and have the TV News tell me this was all a hoax. Anything. I just want him back so everything can be normal again, because right now everything feels so wrong and I actually feel like I'm waiting for him to come back. I feel like there is something wrong with me. I want to take a pill and make this all go away. I've never felt the way I've felt since June 25th ever before.
I really didn't have anything useful to say to you did I, sorry for 'jackin your thread hun. :huggy: