Wish Upon A Star

Sitting here with countless thoughts clouding my mind. I can read every fan fiction ever written and loose myself in them, but it still wouldn't be enough to fill this empty space in my heart. I sit here dreaming of what could have been, and I can only wish upon a star that in the after life my dream may come true and that I may live in eternal bliss with my soulmate by my side. Can this be real? It seems like these past few months have just passed me by, an hour, a day, a month. It's all the same to me. I've lost track of time because of your beauty captivating my entire being. I long to hold on to those beautiful dreams of you and I, talking, laughing, holding each other and passionately making love. My life is entirely consumed by you, my entire being revolves around you. In my world you are mine and I am yours. My peculiar world is slightly different then the world of most. When does a fantasy become reality? When does a dream become eternal? Are you truly my soulmate? Are we meant to be together in another life? Or am I just crazy and absurd? So many questions, so many thoughts, so many emotions pounding in my heart. I know I need to move on with my life but I don't really want to. I love you. I'm so in love with you. My love for you will live on forever, regardless of what may happen in the future, you will always hold the other half of my broken heart. Goodnight, my loving soulmate. I will wish upon a star that our love may one day be fulfilled, in a more perfect, more gracious, and more loving after life. :wub:

Hey Billie Jean, beautifully written as usual.
No, you are not crazy and absurd. I think lots of us feel the same way. Yes, there is a feeling that you can't explain but its there. And when I have this feeling, I'm wondering if I had the chance to meet Michael and to get to know him personally..will I still have this feeling? he's a human being after all (many of us tend to forget that) and there are so many sides of him that we don't know.. just in one thing I'm sure, we could have been good friends but lovers? that will always stay just as fantasy. :wub: :hug:

Thanks for appreciating my writing. :flowers: I just wrote out what I was feeling.
Well, I know what you mean. But I feel he is my soulmate & I am his soulmate. I understand him so much and I understand his love for the planet and love for other people because I'm just like that. Michael is my dream man and I know nobody will ever be like him. I had dreams about traveling the world with him and going to hospitals with him to visit sick children and make their day, playing in Neverland. He didn't like those sexual women who just wanted to "play" if you know what I mean. He wanted a women just like him and wanted to play hide and seek and run around. But at the same time be sweet and gentle and I'm that on the dot. :heart:

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*Billie Jean* said:

Thanks for appreciating my writing. :flowers: I just wrote out what I was feeling.
Well, I know what you mean. But I feel he is my soulmate & I am his soulmate. I understand him so much and I understand his love for the planet and love for other people because I'm just like that. Michael is my dream man and I know nobody will ever be like him. I had dreams about traveling the world with him and going to hospitals with him to visit sick children and make their day, playing in Neverland. He didn't like those sexual women who just wanted to "play" if you know what I mean. He wanted a women just like him and wanted to play hide and seek and run around. But at the same time be sweet and gentle and I'm that on the dot. :heart:

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You’re so welcome, my dear! :wub: I really like your writing style, you speak straight from the heart.
Yeah, I can relate to everything you say. I know Michael is not perfect because no one is but I think he’s the closest thing to perfection. I’ve never met someone like him in my life. He has so much inner beauty and a heart of gold.. he is an angel. I will always have a special place for him in my heart. I also feel like we have so many things in common.
I just hope that Michael experience love with other woman, if there is anyone who really deserve it, its him. I hope he was happy at the end.

aaliyah said:

That was beautifully written! It is torture knowing that Michael isn't here but I know his presence is everywhere with us and in our hearts.

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Thank you. :flowers:

LoveMJackson said:

You’re so welcome, my dear! :wub: I really like your writing style, you speak straight from the heart.
Yeah, I can relate to everything you say. I know Michael is not perfect because no one is but I think he’s the closest thing to perfection. I’ve never met someone like him in my life. He has so much inner beauty and a heart of gold.. he is an angel. I will always have a special place for him in my heart. I also feel like we have so many things in common.
I just hope that Michael experience love with other woman, if there is anyone who really deserve it, its him. I hope he was happy at the end.

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I totally agree with you. I think this is exactly what Michael needed in his life, a good woman. Someone who loved him unconditionally. You know, I remember an interview - can't remember which one and he said he did want to get married again but did it bad twice so was a bit apprehensive to do it a third time. But it did make me kinda sad to know that he wanted to get married again and did not find the right person, even if it wasn't me.... (I was still waiting though). I dreamt of that so much through my life, and especially since he passed away. In fact, he's the only man I ever dreamed of marrying... losing my virginity to... but I know it's impossible now, because he's so so far away from me. I'll probably dream about it for the rest of my life. That would've been wonderful. :weeping: I would just wanted be everything that he ever wanted in a woman. I would like to take care of him and offer him much love and affection. I would remind him constantly how beautiful he was and how much he was loved. If he had trouble sleeping, I would have stayed up all night reading or singing to him. I would hold him in my arms and whisper in his ear all the things I love about him, he would eventually fall asleep because I would go on forever, there was so much that I loved about him. I would kiss him softly look him in the eyes and smile at him, I would let him fall asleep in my arms and make him feel loved and protected. :heart:

*Billie Jean* said:

Thank you. :flowers:



I totally agree with you. I think this is exactly what Michael needed in his life, a good woman. Someone who loved him unconditionally. You know, I remember an interview - can't remember which one and he said he did want to get married again but did it bad twice so was a bit apprehensive to do it a third time. But it did make me kinda sad to know that he wanted to get married again and did not find the right person, even if it wasn't me.... (I was still waiting though). I dreamt of that so much through my life, and especially since he passed away. In fact, he's the only man I ever dreamed of marrying... losing my virginity to... but I know it's impossible now, because he's so so far away from me. I'll probably dream about it for the rest of my life. That would've been wonderful. :weeping: I would just wanted be everything that he ever wanted in a woman. I would like to take care of him and offer him much love and affection. I would remind him constantly how beautiful he was and how much he was loved. If he had trouble sleeping, I would have stayed up all night reading or singing to him. I would hold him in my arms and whisper in his ear all the things I love about him, he would eventually fall asleep because I would go on forever, there was so much that I loved about him. I would kiss him softly look him in the eyes and smile at him, I would let him fall asleep in my arms and make him feel loved and protected. :heart:

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OMG you made cry. What you wrote is so beautiful and moving. That’s exactly what Michael needed, a woman who would love him unconditionally and help him when its hard. You know, I keep thinking about it all the time, he needed a woman who would tell him how beautiful and amazing he is.. I would like to think that he had someone who've whispered in his ear those things and made him happy because its killing me inside to think that he wasn’t happy and didn’t find new love. His happiness, that’s all what matters to me. I understand you honey, and I’m sure Michael would like to see you happy too..he was so caring and loving. Stay strong, my dear..its hard time, I know. Keep the faith! :heart:

:clapping: love it as usual you have such a way with words :flowers:

LoveMJackson said:

OMG you made cry. What you wrote is so beautiful and moving. That’s exactly what Michael needed, a woman who would love him unconditionally and help him when its hard. You know, I keep thinking about it all the time, he needed a woman who would tell him how beautiful and amazing he is.. I would like to think that he had someone who've whispered in his ear those things and made him happy because its killing me inside to think that he wasn’t happy and didn’t find new love. His happiness, that’s all what matters to me. I understand you honey, and I’m sure Michael would like to see you happy too..he was so caring and loving. Stay strong, my dear..its hard time, I know. Keep the faith! :heart:

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raz2911 said:

:clapping: love it as usual you have such a way with words :flowers:

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Thank you, Ryan. :flowers:

*Billie Jean* said:

I'm sorry that I made you cry. :hug: Thank you so much for your support. It is hard.. it is so damn hard. But I'm trying to be strong for Michael. I love him so much it hurts, sometimes! I wish I could be wherever he is now. :depressed:I am so sad that he never felt some love from anyone because he deserved it so much. I wish I could have met him to give him so much love, so much love. I am sure that I could have make him sleep every night with my love without taking any medicine. I love him so much. So every night I tell him goodnight and I tell him, please Michael come in my dreams to give you so much love.
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No need to apologize, that’s ok. :hug: And you’re welcome, I’m always here if you want to talk, you have my full support. It helps me too.
I know its hard, honey. It seems so surreal that Michael is not here anymore because it feels like he’s still alive..you know? Life was unfair to Michael because he gave so much love to the world and contributed so much and what he got in return? Unfortunately, we all know already. I just hope that at least he had a few good friends who showed him their support..but I guess it wasn’t enough. He needed more. much more..

Billie :heart: I agree with you and LoveMJackson. It also feels, well it is, but as if they have taken all that we wanted in just one blow. In a couple of seconds they took away our Michael, they took away our happiness, our joy, our dreams... I'm gonna tell you something, when I was little my biggest dream was to meet Michael, I knew FOR SURE that when I turned 18 I was going to take the first flight to where he was living. The thing is that I was so so convinced about that that when he died I couldn't believe that I wasn't going to see him, and I still can't. I don't know, the thing that I desire most was completely stolen from me. Now I feel that I don't have nothing else to desire, no dreams anymore, no goals to achieve. I sometimes even feel a bit selfish but all feels so wrong, so unfair to all of us. So in a way it's what you're saying, meeting him, being with him, showing him the love, hugging him, kissing him... where has gone all of that? Anyway... I think I haven't helped you but I've told you this so you know that I understand you. :hug:

LoveMJackson said:

No need to apologize, that’s ok. :hug: And you’re welcome, I’m always here if you want to talk, you have my full support. It helps me too.
I know its hard, honey. It seems so surreal that Michael is not here anymore because it feels like he’s still alive..you know? Life was unfair to Michael because he gave so much love to the world and contributed so much and what he got in return? Unfortunately, we all know already. I just hope that at least he had a few good friends who showed him their support..but I guess it wasn’t enough. He needed more. much more..

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Thanks for being here for me. Thanks a million. :huggy:
You know, Michael said in an interview from not too long ago. Maybe back in 2004, that he can count all his true close friends on one hand. :weeping: Poor Michael at least he had his Family.

Tin Angel said:

Billie :heart: I agree with you and LoveMJackson. It also feels, well it is, but as if they have taken all that we wanted in just one blow. In a couple of seconds they took away our Michael, they took away our happiness, our joy, our dreams... I'm gonna tell you something, when I was little my biggest dream was to meet Michael, I knew FOR SURE that when I turned 18 I was going to take the first flight to where he was living. The thing is that I was so so convinced about that that when he died I couldn't believe that I wasn't going to see him, and I still can't. I don't know, the thing that I desire most was completely stolen from me. Now I feel that I don't have nothing else to desire, no dreams anymore, no goals to achieve. I sometimes even feel a bit selfish but all feels so wrong, so unfair to all of us. So in a way it's what you're saying, meeting him, being with him, showing him the love, hugging him, kissing him... where has gone all of that? Anyway... I think I haven't helped you but I've told you this so you know that I understand you. :hug:

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I know how you feel. It's still very difficult to accept that he's gone, I still speak about him in present tense because everytime I say he was or he used to be it makes me really sad it feels like a punch in the heart. I don't know if this wound will ever heal or if this sadness will ever turn into acceptance but I know I'll always love him. There's days when I smile thinking about him often fooling myself into believing he's not dead and there's days when reality strikes me hard and I cry myself to sleep. :weeping: