No one could save him, It was always about him (Michael).

[Maturerastan]

I’m so sorry if there’s any thread about it or not but I couldn’t find it, so I made a separate one. I hope it’s okay?
One thing I will always hate is when people/fans say things like “oh Michael needed a black woman in his life..” like it was some woman’s job to save him or fix him, like he needed someone to keep him alive. And it really gets on my nerves because it’s not about a woman, it’s not about the race, it’s not about some angel who could swoop in and make everything right. Michael didn’t need that, he didn’t need anyone to save him, he needed to help HIMSELF ! It’s so sad when people imagine that someone could carry the weight of his life, like a woman’s whole purpose should have been to rescue him, to fix his mistakes, to hold him together. And the women he actually had in his life, they get hated for no reason. Lisa Marie or any woman who cared for him, they get blamed because “they didn’t save him”, as if they were born to erase his pain and sacrifice themselves for him. But no, no one is born for that, life doesn’t work like that. You can care for someone, love someone, try your best, give advice, try to guide them but you can’t step into someone else’s head and make them do the right thing. You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to save themselves!
I imagine myself in that position as if I were one of those women, trying to talk to him, trying to tell him look, you’re making mistakes and you’re trusting the wrong people, don’t go there, don’t do that, don’t spend all this money, don’t invite people into your life you shouldn’t. But he would just live in his own world. He would think he’s right, he would do it his way and no matter how much you care, no matter how much you try to guide him, it doesn’t matter, it didn’t work. And that’s what makes it so frustrating, so sad! They forget that it wasn’t just women. There were men too, people who really cared about him, people who saw the dangers, people who tried to warn him. And yeah maybe sometimes he listened, maybe a little but mostly he just kept going. And then he would get in trouble and people would look at the women or anyone close to him and say “why didn’t you save him?” But saving him? That wasn’t their job, It wasn’t anyone’s job. Even if it hurt them, even if it made them suffer, even if it broke their hearts, you can’t sacrifice your life for someone else and expect the world to thank you for it. I hate that they reduce it to “he needed a woman!” No. He needed Michael, himself and that’s it. And he had people in his life who cared, who loved him, who tried to help him but sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. Sometimes they were right and he did what he wanted anyway. And he would push people away if they told him “no” or said something he didn’t want to hear. If you said don’t do that, sometimes it was enough for him to remove you from his life completely. That’s how it worked with him and it wasn’t because he was stupod or because he was naïve or whatever. It was just who he was= stubborn, human and thinking he does everything right.
That’s what makes it so hard. Even when people loved him, even when they warned him, even when they tried to save him, he was still Michael and he thought he didn’t need saving. He lived his life in his way and sometimes that hurt him, sometimes it hurt others but that’s how he’s brain was working? So it’s frustrating and yes, it makes you want to scream at him, to shake him, to say please, don’t do this. Like to go to the past and do everything, to help him give him some advice but knowing that he will think that he believes everyone will be kind to him, that’s what killed him

 

[StarlightXX]

I agree. In the first half of 2009, I was going through some issues but had never had thought that Michael was addicted to propofol. After he passed away and I recovered from my issues, I often thought if I, from another country, could have somehow helped Michael or at least persuade him not to be reckless with hospital medicine.

I’ve heard stories of his family and doctors/ nurses warning Michael of the danger of propofol. I really wished that in 2009, someone or something stopped him from doing such dangerous things. I still wish there was some chance of having him alive.

 

[Maturerastan]

I agree. In the first half of 2009, I was going through some issues but had never had thought that Michael was addicted to propofol. After he passed away and I recovered from my issues, I often thought if I, from another country, could have somehow helped Michael or at least persuade him not to be reckless with hospital medicine.

I’ve heard stories of his family and doctors/ nurses warning Michael of the danger of propofol. I really wished that in 2009, someone or something stopped him from doing such dangerous things. I still wish there was some chance of having him alive.

It’s really hard for me to imagine him being addicted to anything like medication. Pills are basically dr#gs, that’s a fact and for most of his life, he actually tried to stay far away from that “world”. From a very young age, he avoided anything that could numb the pain, even though he was living with so much of it. Now knowing how his life ended and that he eventually became dependent on medication, is just deeply sad. Not only in his case but in general, if a person truly wants to escape something and start a new chapter, they usually find the strength to do it. And Michael was someone who, when he wanted something, he always did it! That’s why I don’t think it was that simple. I don’t think he wanted to fight it anymore. Maybe for him, it felt easier to slowly disappear into that numbness than to face life without it.
I try not to judge him because you really have to live the same life to understand someone like that. And in my opinion if a person doesn’t want to save themselves, there’s no way anyone else can do it for them

 

[PrinceLucien]

It’s very sweet of you that you imagine being one of those women that wanted to help him make decisions. But if you listened to the Schmuley tapes Michael expressed that while sometimes he leaned into his vulnerabilities, he felt a bit frustrated when people had that maternal instinct towards him. There’s people who want to be with someone because they love them, and then you have the people who want to be with someone because they are selfish and have a savior complex.

People want to feel loved. They want to be treated as an equal. An individual with valid feelings, needs and wants. True love isn’t something that is supposed to be viewed through the lens of pity or constant neediness. That is manipulation and I wouldn’t be surprised if some people tried to use it to gain closer proximity to his fame. And not on just a romantic level either. Which is another reason why he had a deep seated distrust of people.

It is possible that the ‘support’ and advice he was given by those concerned about him went about it in completely the wrong way. No one likes the feeling of being ‘handled’ by someone else or having their competence critiqued. Especially if that person doesn’t have an established level of loyalty with that individual.

Michael viewed himself as a “path-maker” not a “trail-follower.” He was a perfectionist who believed that he could achieve anything he set his mind to. Successful collaborators often worked within his grandiose ideas, they didn’t simply tell him ‘no.’

I think he may have been less inclined to push people away if they approached him with genuine kindness and framed their advice to aid in bringing his creative visions to life and protecting his children’s future.

 

[Markus-MJ]

His sister la toya said in an interview the family wanted to take Michael to an addiction clinic but you have to want it yourself otherwise it makes no sense

 

[PrinceLucien]

His sister la toya said in an interview the family wanted to take Michael to an addiction clinic but you have to want it yourself otherwise it makes no sense

While some of his family members did try interventions their motives and reality of the situation were often complicated by business and financial issues. And as a matter of fact, a few of his family members and Michael’s mother denied that some of his siblings even tried to help.

According to Michael’s staff they usually just wanted something from him.

It’s also important to note that Latoya was estranged from her family for a time being. Don’t take everything she says at face value.

Michael struggled with a system of exploitation his whole life. It’s unfair to shift the burden of responsibility onto a person who is suffering. It’s not a simple manner of “willpower.” He had very serious medical conditions and a physical dependency. The poor man was in pain and couldn’t even sleep.

 

[SmoothCriminal1984]

I agree. In the first half of 2009, I was going through some issues but had never had thought that Michael was addicted to propofol. After he passed away and I recovered from my issues, I often thought if I, from another country, could have somehow helped Michael or at least persuade him not to be reckless with hospital medicine.

I’ve heard stories of his family and doctors/ nurses warning Michael of the danger of propofol. I really wished that in 2009, someone or something stopped him from doing such dangerous things. I still wish there was some chance of having him alive.

You couldnt stop him once mike got a idea youcouldnt make him change it -lisa marie did and she ended up really sick after their divorce

 

[someplace_else]

While some of his family members did try interventions their motives and reality of the situation were often complicated by business and financial issues. And as a matter of fact, a few of his family members and Michael’s mother denied that some of his siblings even tried to help.

According to Michael’s staff they usually just wanted something from him.

It’s also important to note that Latoya was estranged from her family for a time being. Don’t take everything she says at face value.

Michael struggled with a system of exploitation his whole life. It’s unfair to shift the burden of responsibility onto a person who is suffering. It’s not a simple manner of “willpower.” He had very serious medical conditions and a physical dependency. The poor man was in pain and couldn’t even sleep.

I don't think it's anyone's fault, it's just the circumstances that made everything happen just the way it happened.

But it's true that you cannot "save" people, you just can accompany them along the way. But first they have to decide themselves that they want to change something...sad topic.