JaneBender
Proud Member
**raises hand**
I'm right there with you guys.
MJ has always been a part of my life and I'm 32. His passing has affected me so much more that I ever imagined it would. It's been almost a month now and honestly not a day goes by when I don't cry. I'm tearing up even writing that.
My dad played Off The Wall and Thriller for me when I was a kid, and I spent COUNTLESS hours listening to the ET album on my own Fisher Price record player.. I still have it. (... the record, not the record player) as well as Bad on tape and all of MJ's CDs after that. I even bought Invincible when it came out and loved it despite his issues with the record company and the negative reviews. It helped me and my BF at the time deal with 9/11, I have a distinct memory of us just laying in bed in the dark together listening to Butterflies and Break of Dawn.
MJ made it difficult for me to stick by him as he got older because he just became more eccentric and made himself unrecognizable to me after 2001 with all the surgery. I do remember steaming at that Bashir interview and feeling so sorry for MJ because I could tell before he (MJ) even made ANY statement about it, that this Bashir guy was a POS who had tricked MJ into confiding in him and then using that footage to create a negative image of MJ that he was never able to shake off. I remember thinking that MJ had said things that told me that he meant well, but I knew his statements would be misunderstood by people who watched it. I even saw the rebuttal video and remember seeing on the news the next day that not even half the amt of people who watched the Bashir interview watched MJ's reubttal. That pained me. I knew then that no matter what MJ did the media and the public would never be able to see this man's good intentions towards people and children especially no matter what he did after that.
Only God knows why I'm so upset by MJs death. I never thought I would ever feel this upset over someone I didn't know and never met, but I do. I've gone almost broke buying tribute mags and things. (Although I can't wait to get my tshirts from the This Is It shows!) I do know that the more I watch youtube videos and rewatch interviews that he did with Oprah and Geraldo and the Home Videos thing that he did and even that really early one at the Jackson home where he's singing Peter Pan and showing us Louie the Llama that MJ was a sweet, kind, loving and generous man and his death is a great loss to all of us. I feel like a light has gone out inside of me, and I kind of struggle to get back to "normal." It gets better each day, but since I tell no one how I really feel and how upset his death has made me it's nice to know that there is this forum. I can't imagine what some of the die hard long time MJs fans must be feeling. My thoughts go out to you guys. (((hugs)))
I'm right there with you guys.
MJ has always been a part of my life and I'm 32. His passing has affected me so much more that I ever imagined it would. It's been almost a month now and honestly not a day goes by when I don't cry. I'm tearing up even writing that.
My dad played Off The Wall and Thriller for me when I was a kid, and I spent COUNTLESS hours listening to the ET album on my own Fisher Price record player.. I still have it. (... the record, not the record player) as well as Bad on tape and all of MJ's CDs after that. I even bought Invincible when it came out and loved it despite his issues with the record company and the negative reviews. It helped me and my BF at the time deal with 9/11, I have a distinct memory of us just laying in bed in the dark together listening to Butterflies and Break of Dawn.
MJ made it difficult for me to stick by him as he got older because he just became more eccentric and made himself unrecognizable to me after 2001 with all the surgery. I do remember steaming at that Bashir interview and feeling so sorry for MJ because I could tell before he (MJ) even made ANY statement about it, that this Bashir guy was a POS who had tricked MJ into confiding in him and then using that footage to create a negative image of MJ that he was never able to shake off. I remember thinking that MJ had said things that told me that he meant well, but I knew his statements would be misunderstood by people who watched it. I even saw the rebuttal video and remember seeing on the news the next day that not even half the amt of people who watched the Bashir interview watched MJ's reubttal. That pained me. I knew then that no matter what MJ did the media and the public would never be able to see this man's good intentions towards people and children especially no matter what he did after that.
Only God knows why I'm so upset by MJs death. I never thought I would ever feel this upset over someone I didn't know and never met, but I do. I've gone almost broke buying tribute mags and things. (Although I can't wait to get my tshirts from the This Is It shows!) I do know that the more I watch youtube videos and rewatch interviews that he did with Oprah and Geraldo and the Home Videos thing that he did and even that really early one at the Jackson home where he's singing Peter Pan and showing us Louie the Llama that MJ was a sweet, kind, loving and generous man and his death is a great loss to all of us. I feel like a light has gone out inside of me, and I kind of struggle to get back to "normal." It gets better each day, but since I tell no one how I really feel and how upset his death has made me it's nice to know that there is this forum. I can't imagine what some of the die hard long time MJs fans must be feeling. My thoughts go out to you guys. (((hugs)))
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