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I leave this world now....

ItsNotTrue said:
I really am touched that so many people here care. I don't know if this is the right place to talk about such things, but I don't know where else to post and talk about it. But I've been reading up a lot about depression and I've figured out that it's what I have.

I circled all of the symptoms that I feel daily and it scares me to know that I'm suffering from depression. How I have no desire to live, no desire to do anything. See no point to life when it's just going to end eventually for all of us. http://i623.photobucket.com/albums/tt316/RobertPattinson2/Picture2-3.png?t=1247942892

I don't want to talk to family or friends about it, because they won't understand, and I don't want to get professional help either...I don't know how to deal with all of these problems. I know you've all been telling me "things will get better" and "the pain will ease". But how do I overcome all of these symptoms by myself? I want to, but I don't know how. You guys are the only people I can talk to.
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In case you haven't gone to this site, here is an awesome resource for your condition. You are not alone. There is help available! Please go to http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/

Thanks and Take Care!!
 
Please don't, we need you... :(
Michael needs you to continue his dream, to help the world. I know the pain is unbearable, I know how you feel, but just try to stick it through a bit longer... Michael is right beside you and I holding our hands, I can almost hear him whisper in my ear, listen patiently and you will too. I love you all as much as our Michael did, God bless you. xoxo
 
This might be a ridiculous suggestion to some of you, but it's one that's close to my heart and I hope you listen.

If you are not happy in your life, if you are willing to leave it all behind, if you feel the world is cruel... there is another solution, actually. A friend of mine did it when he was really depressed - he was actually quite religious but had given up on the world. He left behind his life in the UK and sold his things to go to Africa and help there. Of course, this requires prior planning/contact/research - but he hoped it would give his life purpose. It did. He changed 180. He is now the most upbeat, shining person I've ever met. In fact, I work for him now, as he's started his own organisation to help orphans in Africa. It gave him perspective on happiness and goodness and purpose.

This may be an unexpected story in such a sad, sad thread, but I felt it was worth mentioning, since Michael himself wanted to make the world a better place, too. Your life can still mean something to others, and helping others might just heal you, too.
 
Don't forget if you need to talk you can send me a PM anytime, OK? I understand you, and you're right in many aspects, I must say... But don't do anything stupid, please.
 
ItsNotTrue said:
Thank you all so much..You're the only people that I can talk to about my true feelings.

I want so badly to feel happy, but when I hear "you're life is worth living" I just can't fully understand why. There's nothing good in it right now, and death feels like a release. But I know there's no way back, so I'm trying to think so hard about reasons to stay here.

You guys have been my number one reason so far...
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Hang in there, hon. And know that many of us here (myself included) are more than happy to talk anytime. It's a difficult time for all of us who love Michael, so we need to all stick together.
 
ItsNotTRue,you are experiencing a chemical imbalance...it happens to the best of us, even to Michael I am sure...It is triggered by a trauma ..and may have been underlying for a while now, you have probably been experienceing low level depression for some time, and now it is exasperated by this trauma...There are medications to help balance the chemicals in your brain..Once you feel a bit better you can address you life issues and start making changes...but you cant think straight as long as you are experiencing the imbalance of chemicals...THerapy can help...it is not just for sick people,,,,many of the most successful people in the world talk to therapists and pyschiatrists on a weekly basis and there lives are better for it, they are successful because of it. Please see a doctor as soon as you can, and please tell others that are close to you so they can monitor your mood changes. Dont keep it to yourself and dont be alone with it.

Your love for Michael is very unique, why would you want to take it away from the Earth? I have a feeling you see the good in people, the good that others dont...That is a gift you have, and it shouldnt die with Michael..Michael didnt create it, you did, it is your masterpiece...He may have been the recipient of that love, but it is yours, all yours and you have to use it for good in your life, now.

But before you can do anything you need medicine, so please go see a doctor as soon as you can.
 
I can feel you...i have the same thought and i wish God would have killed me too that day
I still prefer to die now....but in my religion,if you suicide you are going to hell. that believe make me think that Michael is in heaven,if i suicide i will go to hell and will not see him either so just try to be strong...
 
ItsNotTrue said:
I'm sorry. I thought I was coping. I thought by joining in and talking would help me, but it's not. I feel absolutely heartbroken. My life is not going good either and I miss Michael so so much. I don't understand it when people tell you not to harm yourself because "Michael wouldn't want it". Am I suppose to live a life full of heartache and pain with the mere thoughts of "it's not what Michael would have wanted"? How can I live just for that? He's probably happy now, and that's what I want to be. I want to be happy with Michael. I can't bare another day knowing he's not living with us anymore. I want to believe he's in hiding. But he's not. He's gone and his sweet smile and laugh are gone too. I want to be with Michael. I want to be free of pain like him...
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Please my friend do not hurt yourself!!! If you do, you will not be in the land of heaven and paradise like Michael, you will be trap in limbo!!!:(. Please my friend, we are all devastated and it is hard to sleep at nights, but we have to wait for the angels to call our turn, earn our wings, then that day we will be pain free and we will be with Michael!. Please DO NOT HURT YOURSELF!!! PLEASE!!!
 
suicide is not the answer. living is the answer. I go to school everyday with the same muted, dull outlook. I come home with the same outlook. I'd rather listen to Who Is It and Gone Too Soon than talk to people sometimes. Every time I realize Michael is dead, I feel sad. don't kill yourself. learn to accept that your whole life is going to be miserable and meaningless, but don't kill yourself. you need to live this miserable life if you want to get into the next, good life. good things are worth waiting for, apparently -_-".
 
Angie85 said:
This might be a ridiculous suggestion to some of you, but it's one that's close to my heart and I hope you listen.

If you are not happy in your life, if you are willing to leave it all behind, if you feel the world is cruel... there is another solution, actually. A friend of mine did it when he was really depressed - he was actually quite religious but had given up on the world. He left behind his life in the UK and sold his things to go to Africa and help there. Of course, this requires prior planning/contact/research - but he hoped it would give his life purpose. It did. He changed 180. He is now the most upbeat, shining person I've ever met. In fact, I work for him now, as he's started his own organisation to help orphans in Africa. It gave him perspective on happiness and goodness and purpose.

This may be an unexpected story in such a sad, sad thread, but I felt it was worth mentioning, since Michael himself wanted to make the world a better place, too. Your life can still mean something to others, and helping others might just heal you, too.
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This is such a great post and so true. When I was having a particularly hard time with dealing with things that were happening in my life, I started work as an assistant at a special needs school. It's something I had always wanted to do and it changed my outlook immediately. I felt useful, needed and the love that I was able to give (not to mention the love that was given back tenfold) stopped me feeling so wrapped up in myself and my problems. The problems were very real but it's so important to get things into perspective, there will always be people people worse off than ourselves and if we can help them in any way, it will take the focus off our own worries.
Michael got a huge amount of joy in helping others, that is what made him so special, not just hit records...
I pray that you know you are loved for who you are, you are special, you are unique, you are beautiful. Do not leave this world until your time is through, you have so many important things to do here. xxxx
 
Hey...I know you feel terrible right now and we can all understand 100% but we need you, we need you to help continute to spread Michael's love and message to the world.

Like some people have suggested, maybe changing your life will help you at this time. I know since the day Michael left us I've been making plans and doing them. I can't bare to live in this screwed up world either, humans are horrible things, so I'm gonna use this life I've been given the best I can.

Please don't hurt yourself, because it won't be just you you're hurting it will be your family, friends and every single MJ fan there is. We love you!!!
 
I don't want to be rude but suicide is a selfish act. I understand you are having a really hard time now but harming yourself won't do any good. Please, also think of the people who care for you. They will feel as heartbroken as you do now. :(

Michael would want you to lead a happy life and cherish the memory of him. Don't do any stupid things and get professional help if you really think you can't handle it any longer.
 
Think about what you'll be missing if you go now...how many things and emotions you have to live...
think about your family and people that love you, that will have such a great pain...

don't even think about that, PLEASE
 
Chrystal said:
Why? I know ur trying to pursuade people not to do it but this statement is pants.

Indeed though, taking ones life is just not what you want to do - esp. for your loved ones. It causes soooooooooo much grief and upset that your parents or members of your family may never ever get over or come to terms with.
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because it is a form of murder, and is a sin, and to get to heaven you cannot murder.
 
I know how you feel, I feel the same but I found one reason not to harm myself... I don't want my family and friends to feel the pain I feel now! I care to much for them! I am sure you also don't want your family to feel the way you feel now! Because Michael learned us to care for the others! And because we care, we have to stay alive, if not nor us, for the ones we love!
 
imehollis said:
Hang in there, I believe in you. But it's about fighting becoming a warrior, fighting for your life (remember this is the good fight). Imagine if Michael would have given up on music because of vitiligo, or allowed the scrutiny and ridicule and the lies from the media to stop him. You may not realize this but someone depends on your smile, your joy, your voice, YOU. We often go through this life not realizing the effect we have on people, and usually it's just the simplest things. Remember in order to be happy it takes courage. You can do it. :)
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Good post!

ItsNotTrue said:
Thank you all so much..You're the only people that I can talk to about my true feelings.

I want so badly to feel happy, but when I hear "you're life is worth living" I just can't fully understand why. There's nothing good in it right now, and death feels like a release. But I know there's no way back, so I'm trying to think so hard about reasons to stay here.

You guys have been my number one reason so far...
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We will be here for your ItsNotTrue! And like other members said, although it may not appeal to you, seeking professional counseling would probably do you good. You will not be judged for what you tell and whatever you speak about stays between you and the counselor. Speaking about your feelings and maybe being perscribed medications can makes things easier for you to deal with. It's worth considering, really.
With that said, try to hang in there ok. You're as much a part of this community as anyone else, and we don't want to lose you! :better:
 
Oh come on, how do you even know that you'll meet Michael after you dead? You "just know it", right? lol. After rain there's sunshine. It will get better.
 
As much as you are both trying to help (you both who mentioned the following), I don't think calling suicide "selfish" or "a sin" stops someone at rock bottom. They already feel miserable, I don't think you can make them feel any worse about themselves. It doesn't really help. I know you mean well, but I just wanted to express what I think you're doing with the best intentions, which is trying to guilt talk someone into living, and that doesn't work for someone who feels so lost that they don't care about anything anymore. It's unproductive to condemn suicide to someone who already feels condemned by having to breathe. I know you mean well, but maybe rephrasing it is somewhat wiser.

Life is full of joys. You can still make so many people happy - and that is what should be emphasized. You can still change so many lives and love so many people who need your love. If it looks like a dead-end street, you've forgotten how to look up and see that you can climb that wall in front of you. There's a field of opportunities behind that wall. Don't stop for it, climb it.
 
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