Michael Jackson Facts (Chuck Norris Style)

[analogue]

1. Moonwalker is a factual documentary with no special effects
2. When Katherine Jackson gave birth to Michael, she was given the nobel peace prize
3. When Michael illegally downloads music, he gets thank you letters from the artists
4. The special shoes for Smooth Criminal were made for the backing dancers only. Michael didn't need them
5. Michael sold out Wembley Stadium by reading the entire phone book
6. One day Michael got hungry and walked into Burger King. When he left the place was just Burger, and he was the king
7. When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon. Michael came running up to him screaming ''Get off my lawn!''
8. Michael Jordan retired, because he knew there could only be one MJ
9. When Michael is in a movie theater and his cell phone rings, everyone else leaves the theater so he won’t be disturbed.
10. Michael Jackson wasn't blessed with music. Music was blessed with Michael Jackson

 

[Deleted member 9375]

When Michael Jackson began wearing white socks, he saved the entire cotton industry!
When Michael Jackson began wearing white tape on his fingers, wearhouses full of all other types of adhesive tape rotted, their makers cried into their pillows!
When Michael Jackson admitted he didn't drink Pepsi cola, the makers of Pepsi cola desperately tried to invent non-Pepsi cola flavour!
When Michael Jackson would spin around on stage, if he didn't feel like it, he had the resources to have the entire venue spin around while he just stood extremely still thinking "I getting paid for this shit!"
Michael Jackson felt like landing his private jet earlier than scheduled; they had to move the whole airport closer because "I just felt like getting some fresh air!"
When the lyric sheet read 'Come on, Michael Jackson changed the words to Shamon! The songwriter fell to his knees and begged forgiveness for writing the wrong lyrics to his own song!
When Michael Jackson forgot the lyrics to a song in concert, he didn't actually forget the lyrics, "you just didn't listen correctly! And as I've mentioned that, you also weren't watching correctly! When you watch me you scream! And smile, I don't need to be on this billion dollar stage, I simply chose to grace you with my presence!"

 

[SmoothCriminal1995]

Rumour has it, Michael once walked into McDonalds and walked out with a Pizza Hut

 

[analogue]

Chuck Norris knocks people out by doing a roundhouse kick. Michael Jackson doesn't have to lift a finger

 

[Deleted member 9375]

Chuck Norris spent two hours performing an intricate marshal arts demonstration for a large crowd. After the demo he left the stage and said to Michael Jackson "follow that twinkle toes!" Michael Jackson smiled, said "I love you", walked on stage, yawned, and the entire crowd fainted in unison at the mere sight of him!

When Michael Jackson left the stage, Chuck Norris was seen tied down on a stretcher screaming "OMG it's Michael Jackson, OMG It's Michael Jackson!!!!!" Michael Jackson laughed and said "It's so cute. It's magical Chuck. I love you Chuck. It's beautiful." Eventually Michael Jackson left the building.