Billie Jean 78;4215909 said:
It's kind of surreal thinking about Michael and 60.
I wonder what he would be doing at this age? Where would his career have taken him?
'Surreal' is indeed the word for it. It is beyond incredible to think that if the man had lived, he would be one month away from entering his
7th decade on earth........I truly wonder what Michael would be doing now. To be frank, at this point in time, I don't really care about his career. I don't think he had anything to prove anymore, career-wise. He had, after all, broken just about every record there is in the music industry. A special performance here or there & some recordings for the sake of doing something that he loved,
without the pressure of charts/sales and any of that other silly stuff, sure; I can very well picture those. But beyond them, I don't really see the point and the effort, especially at such a age.
I know there are plenty of people out there who stuck it out on stage in their mid 70s, but somehow I can't picture Michael like that. Didn't he speak/write more than once about those who worked themselves to death and into poverty? Surely, after all the decades he spent on stage entertaining people, the man deserved some time off and serenity, at least when approaching the dusk of his life. What I find more intriguing to think about is his life and what he understood by happiness. I would hope that at least by the age of 60, he would have found it.
Been Told;4226985 said:
Is it only me that has a heavy heart contemplating Michael's birthdays? Especially this one coming up. 60 years. 9 years since his passing. The things he could have done by now...
Oh no, Been Told. You're definitely not the only one weary of that day in August. I've always had a very hard time coping with that day, obviously during the last 9 years. I'm sure there are plenty of others out there who have similar feelings.
Now that I think about it, I've done all kinds of things around that time - some crazier than others and not just on that day, but on Michael-related days throughout the year. If Michael had this thing about trees and he loved them so much, I have this thing about calendars and the passing of days & years and the marking of special moments.
I remember how once I took the day off from work on Michael's birthday because I didn't want to face people and just wanted to wallow alone in my sorrow, while another year I purposefully worked that day, just to keep my mind busy. I'm mercurial like that and my coping mechanisms, when they do function, differ in time. In yet another year, I wanted to have his birthday as the day when a certain contract ended, but other people's schedule prevented it. I did however manage to link other Michael-related days in the calendar with very special events in my life, once in 2012 and another time in 2015. The details are irrelevant though.
The question now is what I'll do this year? I am contemplating a couple of ideas, but I still haven't made up my mind yet. In any case, it's bound to be something pure and loving, from the depths of my heart and soul. I'm sure it will include some sort of playlist as well, although the contents may not be quite as obvious. Without Michael, the songs are just empty vessels and clanging cymbals.
And to return to your point, Been Told - it is awful to think about the things he could have done by now, truly awful. I remember being soooo hopeful for him back in August 2008 when he turned 50 and foreseeing so many wonderful things into the future. Reality thought otherwise and felt I deserved more than one lesson. I definitely didn't see June 25 2009 and so many of the things which unfolded after.
Don't know about others, but for me it's been a rather horrid decade. Everybody goes through rough periods and some even have a horrible year or so, as the Latin-coined phrase goes. However, there are some of us out there, who are so 'lucky' to enjoy not just a year of 'horridness', but decades and entire lifetimes even. I didn't have an exactly easy time before 2008, with some special peaks of terror early on and on my 21st birthday, but the last decade has been even more frightful in the sheer accumulation of issues on top of old traumas. In a 2012 document I was brazen, bold and boastful enough to think that the time had come for me to teach others lessons. Boy, was I wrong??? Life smacked me from the height of my stilettos and landed me in the very dust. When I look back at this entire period starting with August 2008 up until now, all I see is a decade of terrible losses, some of them irrevocable, awful fears about the future and just a myriad of wasted opportunities. And Michael's disappearance only adds to all of those.........
It is downright awful to think that Michael was carried through that terrible trial in 2005 only to die four years later. I used to have this sense of unfinished business, as petty as that sounds. I was thinking – surely, he wasn't saved from that trial initially, only to subcome to its consequences a few years later. It all felt so unfair and cruel. There must have been so much more in store for him, so many more good things to compensate for the decades of pain, unjust accusations and terrible loneliness. But perhaps I was wrong, as always.
Perhaps the man had accomplished all he was meant to here on earth and perhaps he had attained all the bliss he craved; it could very well be the case. I hope some day (sooner so much rather than later) I will be able to come to terms with that and accept it myself. I honestly hope to see the fruits of the serenity prayer in my life and I hope the Lord will help me accept the things which I cannot change. And I definitely cannot change anything about Michael. He is in a world well beyond the reach of mere mortals.
Sorry if I prolonged this post over any sensible measure and made it a bit too personal, but as I said from the very start, August 29th is a day which has had a most profound impact on my life.
