Chapter 13 was all about the news of the allegation and the fallout from it.
DB begins the chapter elaborating on the various projects he had going on. He finally had the master of the Dangerous home VHS and that was the last piece of the Dangerous promo campaign. DB mentions his work with Luther Vandross, and Gloria Estefan. He relates how LV had a tendency of firing people due to his high standards. Additionally, he compliments GE on being media savvy with a tour ready attitude.
By summer 1993 the Dangerous home VHS was ready, and as MJ was on tour, DB had no further contact with him. He clarified that the phone conversations with MJ were always 'goal-driven, collaborative and upbeat' and never 'negative'. But that incessant calls from MJ when he became overly obsessed with an idea were 'draining', however, now that the calls had ceased, DB felt a 'vacuum'.
During this period, the news of the allegation drops. DB shares the news as 'jolting' and 'surreal'. He narrates his thinking at the time as he came to grips with this news. His first thoughts were on MJs love of children and how MJs relationship with women appeared platonic. He found himself questioning whether he had been working for a child molester. He concludes 'I just couldn't buy it'.
He remarks how even though he only knew MJ on a professional capacity, he had observed and interacted with MJ enough to realise that MJs love of children was nothing sinister. He theorises that MJ drew inspiration from the innocence of children, just as he drew the same inspiration from the innocence of pets/animals, and this was because neither wanted anything from him and appreciated him for who he was. He reflects on MJs career as a child star who had to cater to adult demands, and how this had only morphed into a career of being the biggest star and having to give in to more hefty adult demands, and how a lifetime of unhealthy adult interactions would've skewed MJs relationship with adults. DB comments how he understood that MJ might have felt relief from such a life amongst the presence of children and animals who wanted nothing from him.
DB then pondered on MJs naeivity. He was convinced that MJ wouldn't have caused any deliberate harm to any child, but suggests his 'privileged, isolated and rarified' upbringing could have led him to innocently make others feel uncomfortable due to poor social skills. On further examination of his own interactions with MJ, DB couldn't qualify this perspective, as he never experienced MJ exhibiting anything 'disquietening or eliciting any discomfort' in any social context he had witnessed.
DB felt ill equipped to deal with such a serious subject matter in the superficial world of marketing. He felt pride in his work with MJ and felt the urge to defend him. He recalled how friends and colleagues wanted answers from him, but as there was 'no proof either way' he 'couldn't give any answers'. Epic remained 'mute' with no formal discussions, similarly to DB, the few that knew MJ at the label, only knew him in a professional capacity, and lacked the full story to defend him deservedly. And all this silence was translated as guilt by said friends and colleagues.
MJ decided to do a photo op at Euro Disney with a group of children. DB and his colleagues contacted Sandy Galin to urge him to stop MJ from conducting this, to prevent providing the press with more 'ammunition'. SG relayed that MJ was not going to let the media 'dictate how he lived' and that the allegations were untrue and just an extortion attempt. DB felt 'helpless'. He questioned himself on whether MJ was in denial or not acknowledging how serious the allegation was. DB shares that MJ had lived a very high-pressured existence of unrelatable proportions, and didn't know how MJ was coping with the embarrassment on the world stage.
DB writes how his thoughts were on delaying the release of the Dangerous home VHS which was due out soon, with an impending interview with LA Times scheduled for Monday 12th October. DB then learnt that MJs lawyer was set to give a press conference at the exact same date and time as his interview. DB details his internal panic over being questioned about the allegations instead, and the sickening feeling he experienced at being associated with something as disgusting as child abuse. He reached out to Sony, the message from Tommy Mottola was to go ahead with the planned interview. DB continued to panic and called Sony two more times trying to cancel it, TM affirmed his position both times. The interview took place and much to DBs huge relief, the allegation is not mentioned. DB reckons the precarious position he holds in MJs world as a point of contact, and how such a serious subject matter now made his position a vulnerable one.
MJ contacted DB after this time to confirm that the proceeds from the release of the Gone Too Soon track will go to the Ryan White Foundation, and passed on Ryan Whites mother's information for DB to communicate with her. DB was surprised by the nature of a call that MJ could have had someone else conduct for him, he surmises that MJ was handling it personally because it was important to him. DB describes MJs 'warmth' from the conversation. DB provides background information on Ryan White. How RW contracted AIDs through a blood transfusion and passed away aged 18, while bringing awareness to the stigma surrounding the AIDs virus at the time. MJ showed his support to RW, arranged for him to visit Neverland and even gifted RW a car he wanted. MJ attended RWs funeral along with other celebs. MJ made GTS for RW and had repeatedly asked for it to be released as a single, it released on World Aids Day in 1993.
Around mid November, before the release of this single, DB heard MJ news which felt like a 'gut punch'. MJ had cancelled various tour dates due to ill health, now the unexpected news arrived that he was cancelling the whole tour as he was seeking treatment for addiction to pain medication. Elizabeth Taylor had arranged for MJ to go to rehab. A taped conversation was released where MJ explained the addiction was the result of a combination of reconstructive scalp surgery and the pain from the extortion attempt. DB narrates parts of this taped message.
DB narrates how the darkness the allegation bought was now eclipsed by the pitch blackness of addiction. He specifically mentioned demoral and morphine. DB felt MJs 'career was lost', using the metaphor of a rocket that explodes so far in the distance that the devastating explosion is neither seen or heard or even witnessed.
DB didn't hear from MJ again and everything felt 'final'. He remembers the 'silence in the hallways' at Epic. Epic staff consisted of younger staff by that period who largely viewed MJ as a 'relic from the past'. DB ends the chapter describing the whole situation as 'sad. Numbing. And weird'.
My commentary:
This was a hard read, and I took extra time summarising the chapter with due diligence to DBs narrative owing to how upsetting fellow fans will find this subject.
I found the taped conversation for the cancellation of the tour. MJ voice lacks flow and comes across as slow and laboured in parts, possibly pained.
So this was a very sad read. DB gives a real sense of how unprecedented the situation was. I was too young to acknowledge all this when it happened in 1993. By the time 2003 came around, we had a blueprint from 1993. But in 1993, there was no blueprint, and such news must have been earth shattering.
I found myself feeling sympathetic when following DBs train of thought as he was trying to rationalise the news he had heard. Although some of it was uncomfortable, I think it's the type of thinking we have all had to wrestle with when we heard about the allegation for the first time at some point during our own fandom. It's certainly the type of thinking I could see myself experiencing if a colleague had been accused of something so nefarious. And although DB finds himself questioning things, he affirms the negative.
I appreciated how DB had a moment of realisation when he questioned whether he had been promoting a child molester. No one MJ has ever worked with has ever expressed concerns that MJ was guilty. It's one thing if deluded fans defend MJ over anything, but it says something else when not a single work colleague believed the allegations with all their personal interactions with MJ. These people were not going to actively promote/work with a child molester, just as most people in any workplace wouldn't. The fact that the same people still continued to work with MJ does vouch for MJs character. And by implying MJ is guilty, the implication is that all these people deliberately turned a blind eye to a child molester.
It was however sad to read how no one defended MJ at the label, even the ones who did believe in his innocence. I can understand that they did not have the full picture, but I felt they were in a position to vouch for his character based on their experience of him. I didn't think total silence was the only solution, especially as they were answering to colleagues and friends, not the press.
Although, DB does not highlight this, I'm beginning to see a split between MJs personality, and MJs decision making skills. DB comments on how easy MJ was to interact with, he sounds by all accounts a delight to speak with, and DB appears to even miss the incessant phone calls. But then MJ goes to a photo op with children in the middle of this disaster. Of all the places he could retreat to, he chose Disneyland. He criticises the media for trying to 'dictate' his life when it wasn't the media that made the allegation. He stubbornly goes ahead with the photo op. I can rationalise that MJ didn't do anything wrong so wasn't going to change his behaviour over an extortion attempt. I can also rationalise that this was early on and MJ hadn't had the full breath of the experience and was acting out of naeivty. But, as a reader, this does show that MJ was oblivious to how he came across at the time. As a fan, I can appreciate that MJ was grappling with a tour/head surgery/allegation and was struggling to cope at this time. SG also comes across as a weak manager, he relays MJs message and doesn't appear to be concerned or add anything different to the situation.
(Edit: could not find any info online about MJ being in Disneyland at any time period after allegation broke and before the tour was cancelled).
I was surprised that DB relates the RW conversation with MJ so casually. MJs life was blowing up and he was still thinking about charity with 'warmth', even making personal calls when he didn't have to. While DB rightly plays up the horror of that period, he makes no mention of a man still trying to persevere with his values and his promises through that said horror.
While I can appreciate that the allegation along with the news of addiction may have appeared a fatal combination for MJs career, I found the last words conveying the situation as 'And wierd' inappropriate, and only served to perpetuate a media narrative that was unnecessary at this point of the story. DB also expressed no sensitivity/compassion for a colleague suffering addiction to the point of needing rehab, I found this markedly cold which is not how DB has come across so far. But it could be that he was still in shock at the situation.
As a reader, there's an evident change in the pace of this chapter, and it's turning into a page turner.
I found this clip on YouTube, I haven't verified how accurate it is in its claim to be the exact moment MJ was notified of the allegation:
Edit: the dates in the video description line up but as there is no date on the actual footage, I'm not sure how this information can be verified.
Also found the Dangerous home VHS, the classical segment appears to be identical to the one in History home VHS:
That's all folks!
As this was a long summary, I will leave it for today and post more tomorrow.
