Thank you so much for your reply!! I love that we are the same age because you know, then, exactly what it was like at that time and the weird narratives around Michael! I love that you discovered him through the 30th anniversary concert. I wonder how many people did! Side note: I hear people say those performances are not good, but honestly I love them. While I'm sure they are not his *best* I genuinely think they are amazing still. Anyway, I can't even imagine the kinship you felt/feel with him as a dancer! I have never danced in my life and now I dance all the time and have an actual interest in dancing!I absolutely get what you mean! I’m your age too and fell in love with him in 2001 in 7th grade when my mom sat me down to watch the 30th anniversary concert special, and she said, “this is important.” Boy was she right. I was completely enamored. His music got me through some rough times, and being a dancer myself and an artist too (did you know MJ could draw?! Look up his drawings!) I felt such a kindred spirit in him.
As a young person with only message boards and no youtube or facebook yet, keeping up with the 2005 trial was exhausting especially when none of my friends understood. It was a lonely time. I prayed so hard for Michael.
In college I was busy with other things and fell away from MJ, (2007-2009 when he was a hermit) but was SO excited when he announced his comeback, but also had a strange feeling about it. A gut feeling he had suffered too much on earth and he needed to go.
When he died I remember being glued to the tv, and as well watching the funeral. I’ll never forget how absolutely broken I felt. Jennifer Hudson singing Will You Be There absolutely effed me up.
Time heals, but I had mostly fallen away from MJ again. I never watched LN, but started to have my doubts. Then, much like you, about 2 months ago I saw a reel on Instagram of him performing You Are Not Alone and him embracing a fan, kissing and hugging her. It flooded back memories of how I knew how much he truly LOVED his fans, and I crumbled to the floor. Another video of him breaking down at rehearsal when he heard about the ‘93 allegations destroyed any doubts that crept up that he was innocent.
Instagram and tiktok (Gen Z LOVES Michael!) has revealed video footage of all the still photos from events I remember reading about on message boards and news sites back in the early 00’s, before there was much video on the internet. It’s been really special for me to see and hear his voice on those videos, like a long lost home movie.
I’ve been struggling with my faith lately, but getting back into MJ has reminded me to truly live my faith in everything I do. He really tried to do that in his life. I really think he was an angel on earth.
And yes, he is SO sexy. Those gold pants, OMG. And the most beautiful smile in the world. (You should Google the most beautiful smile in the world) 😉❤️
Oh, and yes, I did know he could draw! I can't remember how I learned that, but I love his drawings! It actually reminded me that when I was a kid and teenager I used to draw constantly and loved it. So recently I started drawing again partly due to my inspiration from him. I even signed up for local drawing classes
Ugh I feel so sad for you and all the fans (and OF COURSE Michael during the 2005 trials). It makes me sick to think about. I didn't follow it at all, but I had a good friend who was extremely obsessed with Michael and I remember she had a hard time with it. Honestly, I feel so guilty when I think back to that time because not only was I not a fan, but I think I probably made fun of the whole situation like everyone else did then. It literally makes me sick to think about that now. I feel like people have always been cruel, but the late 90s/early-mid 2000s was sickeningly cruel. It really bothers me that I didn't take a serious look at what was happening to him and chocked it up as just celebrity gossip. I truly wasn't at all invested in any of that stuff, so it's not like I actively took issue with him, but I didn't try to understand him either and I hate that. On a side note, I do remember watching the Living with Michael Jackson documentary in 2003 and thinking he seemed like a really nice person, but then once I heard everyone thought he was a freak after that, I sort of changed my thoughts about it. Ugh...I was a teenager, that's all I can say.
ANYWAY, It is CRAAAAAZY that you had that thought about how he had already suffered too much and needed to go. Oh God, in some ways I am glad I wasn't a fan when he died because I don't think I could have handled it. I truly cannot bring myself to watch his memorial. Will You Be There is one of my favorite MJ songs and the idea of Jennifer Hudson performing it is too much lol.
Aww I'm so glad to hear that social media has connected you to him again!! I bet that is happening with a lot of people right now. I also LOVE that Gen Z loves Michael. I teach college and he has come up several times in class discussions and I even had a student write a paper about him and the misrepresentations of his vitiligo. Honestly, the fans that run the various TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube accounts are amazing. There are so many compilations and edits including not only his music but highlighting how special he was as a human being.
I understand completely what you mean about him being an angel. I am not a very faithful person (in a traditional religious sense) but I'm very spiritual. I feel like Michael was doing something far beyond pop music, or even art. The way he connects to his audience, the way he transforms fans and people like me 13 years after his death who never knew anything about him, is just remarkable. Like I said in my post, I am not a celebrity crazy person and I've never been affected by an artist in this way. I really think there is something more spiritual going on with him. Obviously he was still very much a human being with flaws and whatnot, but that doesn't mean he didn't have a more spiritual presence (or purpose).
Oh girl...I have googled that "most beautiful smile" so many times just to feel the happiness that it's all him lol. I am so glad you agree on the sexiness...I mean, I don't know how anyone couldn't! But I am currently obsessed with him in that regard and it takes everything in me to not talk about it all the time haha. I absolutely LOVE the gold pants and the whole look during that tour. But I'll admit, Thriller/Bad/Dangerous era are my absolute weak-in-the-knees favorites. I can barely contain myself when I'm watching any performances or interviews from those times. He's just so young and vibrant and effortlessly sexy. I'm obsessed with the curls too, especially during the bad tour. But also, I think a big part of my attraction to him in those times is that it's before things really started to fall apart for him, personally. He radiated joy, while owning the stage like an absolute beast, and....I gotta stop because I could go on all day lol.