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Should I forgive? I need help plz!!

Lady with the Tramp

Lady with the Tramp

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I wish I had a dad like Michael.
My dad NEVER educate me, NEVER comforts me when I’m sad, NEVER ask “how’s school?”, NEVER appreciate people who’s good to him. I don’t like him and he doesn’t like me either.

Should I forgive him???? Michael always wants us to love and forgive people unconditionally, but I’m not sure if I’m capable of doing it. What do I do??? Can you guys tell me what to do??
 
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everyone shows love in different ways. maybe he feels providing for you, putting you through school etc is enough. everyone is different, appreciate him the way he is and for the good things he does. my dad was a hard ass but that's just him. he loved me the best he could. as a parent i can guarantee the man must care, it's impossible not to, he just doesn't know how to show it the way you need him to. cheer up *hugs*
 
are you asking because Michael forgave his father?
or do you want his love and want to forgive?

if you are thinking number 1 - you should forgive him. his attitude it's between him and God and you have to let go your pain. because your pain if it stays within - sooner or later will start to destroy you. set yourself free. be higher than that. if your father treats you like that, don't answer in the same way. be better than that and show yourself and him that you are stronger than that.

if you are asking because of number 2 because you want him to love you and to treat you right - then again, forgive him and TEACH him how to love. show him what love is. he might not know. ask him "how things at work", "did you enjoy this TV program?", "what's your favorite book?", "let's go biking together or to movies". TEACH HIM love and respect. dont think that parents are always adults. sometimes parents are scared or angry children that never knew how to love or show their love. he might not even know that you are offended. ask him calmly and in a caring manner so not to hurt him why he never asks you how things at school? because you would love to share things with him. tell him that you want him to be in your life. it will make him think and it will make him respect you. and he might change.

if nothings works and he doesnt change - forgive him anyway. and keep trying to teach him by your behaviour. be generous.

my father cheated on my mother, spend all his money of his lover so we lived in poverty, when i asked him some money on my little sister because i was studying and Mum was working for us alone, so we couldnt afford much and my sister needed new shoes - he simply sent me away. he always was a liar, but he did some good things for me in my childhood. i remember that. it shows me that he wasnt all bad. now i speak to him from time to time. i decided to forgive him because it only destroys you when you keep this pain inside. i feel sorry for him and try to be polite and friendly with him. it set me free. it made him slightly better.

forgive your father. forgiveness is a key to become a better person
 
the reason why I think you should forgive him is because you reminded me of myself.My dad and I never really got along very well. And he passed away suddenly almost 2 years ago. I wish I forgave him while he was alive and I think life is too short to hold grudges.
 
CatherineNZ - "TEACH HIM love and respect. dont think that parents are always adults. sometimes parents are scared or angry children that never knew how to love or show their love."

wow...very profound. Wisest words i've ever heard ... (from a scared parent)
 
Thank you u guys so much for those heartfelt words!
You are right that If I hate someone, I feel more pain. So, I promise, starting from today, I will try to forgive my dad. I know I can do it! ^^
 
Yes, you should forgive him. I'm sure that deep in his heart he loves you, even if he doesn't know how to show it :)
 
He loves you, he's your father. Try talking to him more, bonding with him. You're lucky to have a Father in your life, don't let that relationship go to waste because you are both afraid to show your feelings.
 
I also had wish I had a father like Michael. Which is why I always condsider Michael like a father to me. Because my real father who I haven't seen or spoken to in over 8 years. Is the complete opposite of Michael. I don't know why but ever since I could remember I never like going to see him. Because I have always felt very uncomfortable around him. The only reason why I kept going to see him was just to see my grandmother and my 2 little half sisters. Who he had lived with. And there are things about my father which I absolutely hate and that I would never forgive him for. The one thing is that he is very prejudice he had disown my 2 half sisters for having a black man's baby. And to make it worst he wouldn't even give my one half sister money so she could feed her baby. I felt really sorry for her and it made me hate my father more than I already did. I absolutely hate people who are prejudice. Especially towards black people. According to my father as well as my mother who married the guy. Thinks interracial dating is sick, disgusting, and just plain wrong. People should stay with their own color. When dating or getting married. This is the prime example why I have never not even once been out on a date before. Because the only guys that have ever asked me out on a date were black guys. And I was forced to say no to them. Out of fear of what my father or mother might do to me. Mainly my father who I really don't want to have nothing to do with anymore. So I really got no desire ever want to see or speak to my father ever again. So as far as I am concern Michael Jackson is my only father that I would ever have.

Maybe I should forgive my father but I can't because he would never change his prejudice ways.
 
why not talk to him and tell him how you feel?.
you never know he may change his ways.
 
MJsBollywoodGirl7 said:
I also had wish I had a father like Michael. Which is why I always condsider Michael like a father to me. Because my real father who I haven't seen or spoken to in over 8 years. Is the complete opposite of Michael. I don't know why but ever since I could remember I never like going to see him. Because I have always felt very uncomfortable around him. The only reason why I kept going to see him was just to see my grandmother and my 2 little half sisters. Who he had lived with. And there are things about my father which I absolutely hate and that I would never forgive him for. The one thing is that he is very prejudice he had disown my 2 half sisters for having a black man's baby. And to make it worst he wouldn't even give my one half sister money so she could feed her baby. I felt really sorry for her and it made me hate my father more than I already did. I absolutely hate people who are prejudice. Especially towards black people. According to my father as well as my mother who married the guy. Thinks interracial dating is sick, disgusting, and just plain wrong. People should stay with their own color. When dating or getting married. This is the prime example why I have never not even once been out on a date before. Because the only guys that have ever asked me out on a date were black guys. And I was forced to say no to them. Out of fear of what my father or mother might do to me. Mainly my father who I really don't want to have nothing to do with anymore. So I really got no desire ever want to see or speak to my father ever again. So as far as I am concern Michael Jackson is my only father that I would ever have.

Maybe I should forgive my father but I can't because he would never change his prejudice ways.
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It's so sad. I identify with your situation and feel so sorry for you...
I believe since we realize our own father's flaw it make us become a better and open-minded person because I don't want to see mistakes to continue from generation to generation.

Give you a big HUG!
 
jr7661 said:
why not talk to him and tell him how you feel?.
you never know he may change his ways.
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I never do this cuz we both feel uncomfortable. But now I'm changing. I trying not to get angry with him and being nice. I think he know I'm changing for him by those little gestures.
 
I have a similar situation.. PM me if you ever want to talk :hug:
 
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