geekgirl101
Proud Member
I adored Michael's looks and his music from as young as I can remember all the way up to my teens when people began making fun of him. I was hurt, I didn't read the papers or the articles, but that didn't stop school kids and my own mother from saying things that made me uncomfortable. When he was taken to court for the abuse allegations and paid of the father I was unsure and very discomforted. My opinion was being manipulated by school kids teasing, the media lies, my own emotions due to my father being jailed for child sex abuse, and a heavy-handed mother who I dared not to argue against telling me he only paid the parents off to silence them because the evidence against him would've put him behind bars. I had to hide from her in my bedroom playing computer games that I didn't get to see much of the news and interviews so I only heard bits of it.
But I think about his 2nd case which he was acquitted for in 2002 and that was only 7 years ago, and although I was in a cult for 18 months without a TV to inform me of what was going on that was over 10 years ago. So how could I have missed the news of his innocence? If I had known that I would've likely gone onto the internet to find out more information and would've likely have discovered the many things Michael had involved himself in and all the pressure he endured and renewed my love again for Michael much earlier. I asked my husband how I could've missed the most important announcement which could've changed the way I thought and felt about Michael, and his answer made me shrink inside in shame.
I was too addicted to computer games and didn't show any interest in the news. He told me that the court case was on TV but I was uninterested, likely raiding with a party on an online game.
I feel so damned ashamed that I didn't pay attention.
I'm literally banging my head against my laptop desk over how bloody pathetic I've been. People on MJFC are right, I don't deserve Michael's love because when he needed me I wasn't there and turned my back on him out of ignorance. The whole thing has smashed my addiction to computer games as I've realised just how much I've been missing going around me and how much of my life's been wasted to them. I've had these addictions since around 10 years old, so about 19-20 years of my life I've not had the chance to live them.
But I think about his 2nd case which he was acquitted for in 2002 and that was only 7 years ago, and although I was in a cult for 18 months without a TV to inform me of what was going on that was over 10 years ago. So how could I have missed the news of his innocence? If I had known that I would've likely gone onto the internet to find out more information and would've likely have discovered the many things Michael had involved himself in and all the pressure he endured and renewed my love again for Michael much earlier. I asked my husband how I could've missed the most important announcement which could've changed the way I thought and felt about Michael, and his answer made me shrink inside in shame.
I was too addicted to computer games and didn't show any interest in the news. He told me that the court case was on TV but I was uninterested, likely raiding with a party on an online game.
I feel so damned ashamed that I didn't pay attention.
I'm literally banging my head against my laptop desk over how bloody pathetic I've been. People on MJFC are right, I don't deserve Michael's love because when he needed me I wasn't there and turned my back on him out of ignorance. The whole thing has smashed my addiction to computer games as I've realised just how much I've been missing going around me and how much of my life's been wasted to them. I've had these addictions since around 10 years old, so about 19-20 years of my life I've not had the chance to live them.
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