zinniabooklover
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- Joined
- Mar 3, 2022
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Can't help you with this one. But I bet we all have some understanding of what you're struggling with. I have a similar problem just with photos. Certain images in particular I have to ration how often I will look at them. And that video compilation you posted the other day? I bumped a gif of Michael being insanely sexy onstage and it turned out to be from a MITM performance? I watched the whole video once and haven't gone near it since. I can already tell I'm never gonna be able to have that on heavy rotation - or even medium. I'm going to have to be very, very careful how often I let myself watch that. It was lethal.I just watched this!!! It may actually not be the same one, but I watched the HWT Gothenburg concert because I seriously can’t handle venturing into Dangerous or Bad era concerts yet. I can’t even try a new HWT concert! Just repeating the same one we enjoyed for our first watch party lol
Side note: I feel like there’s something wrong with me. Months in this fandom and I have yet to find another person who can barely survive watching his concerts for fear of heart failure lol. Obviously I’ve seen a ton of individual performances. But I genuinely worry that a full Dangerous concert, or GOD FORBID Bad, will actually leave me dead lol. There’s at least a fighting chance i could survive Dangerous… Bad though… god. The only reason I survived the Victory tour was the brothers balancing out the energy, but I still had to pause many times to calm down lol
Anyway, I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.
Point is, Michael’s core strength when he pulls himself up so effortlessly has quite an impact. See the rambling above
Just at the weekend I was congratulating myself cos I thought I was making massive progress. I had noticed that, although I still get the elevated heart rate even if I just *think* about Michael, I was coping with it. As in, not feeling like I was gonna conk out or drop dead or whatever (dramatic language but you know what I mean). The heart rate would go crazy but I would be able to more or less carry on. Well, I got that wrong. It must have been some weird abberation (sp?) because the last few days it's been back to crazy, unbearable, whatever. I have to look at Michael every day, hence mad activity on the threads, usually this one, but I can't look at certain images too much. They have too much power so I have to go carefully. Which probably sounds mad but this is what I've observed. The black pvc jacket gif posted by MM90? That was on heavy rotation to begin with. Not anymore. I'm being real careful with that one.
So I don't have your problem but I can sympathise.
I have died yet again lol
Lets celebrate with this beauty, we have not seen it in a while! 
